KAY:) my lovelies. This has been my pride and joy – my first fanficiton! I love it like my own child. Hah if I had one…anywhoo. Everyone's first fanfiction is sloppy and if you knew me you'd know how much of a perfectionist I am (not at grammar as you such great fans must notice haa sorry) and I want to give my baby a little tender love and care:) so I'm tidying her up as you could call it. I'm not changing anything cause I'm not even finished with it yet, but just going to combine some chappy's so it's less spread out its really been bugging me and AGAIN I amdeeply sorry for the lack of updates in years haha I fail epically fo sho you can egg my house if youse guys like cause I love you all that much. AND after I do this I have a special treat for you? Can you guess? YES its an update of new chapters because I wrote ohhhhhh so much while I've been away from youse guys:) I love you all for sticking with me and if not pshh its alright I still love you. OKAY on with the progess!

BOV

I ran outside wanting to escape them…him. How could he have done that to me…just how? I went to sit out on the steps as I felt the tears come- lucky after I was embarrassed in front of the whole dance, crying in front of them would only add to my heartbreak…

I put my hands over my face and into my lap. The tears just wouldn't stop- No couldn't was more like it, why must I have been so naïve. Someone like him actually, truly caring for me? I scoff at the idea now because the thought was impossible for me to even imagine now that I think about it.

Even after he kissed me for the first time, even after he told me he loved me for the first time, and even after we made love for the first time, the thought of him being truly mine never really sank in...Although at some point I was willing to take the chance...yeah what good that did.

All it did do was leave me alone and crying. Probably a fucking laugh for a good part of the prom. And I ask myself the typical question, Why me?

Suddenly the door behind me opened and all my mind can function is not him, please, anyone but him! Not that I expected it to work...what a shock?

Through my gasps and sniffling I heard my name being spoken in a soft velvety voice.

"Bella…? His voice sounded pained but he wasn't the victim here, I was and I turned away, wiping the tears away while trying to hold back the fresh ones threatening to spill over. I tried to pretend like I didn't hear him, but he knows me all to well. "Bella please….I know you hear me…" He came closer.

"What?" I whispered, my voice hoarse.

"What?" He asked.

"I SAID WHAT! WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY WANT?" I didn't mean to yell, but the hurt had to come out in some form and I didn't want it in tears. Sucks for me that my body just cant seem to play along.

"I'm sorry you had to hear that…I didn't mea-"

"DIDN'T MEAN WHA! THAT EVERYTHING YOU'VE EVER SAID TO ME WAS A LIE? JUST A STUPID GAME?" Okay maybe I was being a little dramatic, but I didn't care. All I wanted to do was kick, punch, yell, and cry.

A fresh batch of tear makes their way out and I think he begins to panic and at this I cant understand why until I concentrated hard enough to hear the sounds of like someone choking water into theirs lungs.

Oh it was me.

"Bella ,Bella please breath!" He cried in a huff.

I asked why because even in this state I wanted to piss him off, but even I could barely understand myself. It kind of scared me. Why did it hurt so much? Why was I even trying to talk to him?

"What do you mean why!" He said through his teeth…he sounded angry and hurt. What? Angry, if anything he should be groveling at my feet and apologizing at the least. I should be the angry one! So I yelled again.

"WHY DO YOU EVEN CARE? WHY CANT YOU JUST LEAVE? YOU'VE MADE IT VERY CLEAR ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT ME! THERE'S ONLY SO MUCH I CAN TAKE! I'M NOT MADE OF STONE I DO HAVE FEELINGS, I'M NOT YOUR STUPID RICH KID'S TOY." Yeah... Realization was finally, really sinking in. I wanted nothing more than to rip my hair out from my head and be left the hell alone to wallow in how stupid a single boy can make a girl feel.

BPOV

My name is Isabella Marie Swan and just moved here to Forks, Washington yesterday from Phoenix, Arizona to live with my father Charlie while my mother Renée moves around with her new husband Phil. It wasn't exactly what I wanted to do, but if I made my mom happy I was game.

When I arrived here my dad was ecstatic. He even went out of his way to buy me a car…well truck I should say. It was a discolored orange color with a smell of tobacco and leather, and I loved it. It was also an amazing car and could even keep a person like me safe.

And of course this is all because I am probably the clumsiest person on the earth. You drop a pencil in front of me, I'll trip over it and break my foot in the process.

You put a hot, steamy cup of coffee across the room from me, I'll find a way to spill it on me and get 2 degree burn.

Yeah, the emergency room and I are as close conjoined twins. I'll have to be even more careful in a place like this even if I was a small town...it had water and wet things+me=disaster, I didn't want to take the chance.

After I got all my things in order and put away I went to make my dad a thanks-for-taking-me-in-whilst-in-my-time-of-need dinner. I made steak and potatoes, while I was putting the plates on the table Charlie walked the door. This was to be the first meal together. I know it's dumb, but I hadn't the slightest idea of how to be around him? I took a deep breath and then exhaled.

"Hey Char-Dad," I was still getting used to calling him dad, I haven't seen him in so long," how was work today." I said with a friendly smile.

"It was the usual…nothing spectacular, wow that smells great Bells!" He was grinning...I could tell he hadn't had decent food in awhile.

The thought made me giggle" Thanks I made it just for you!" I said with just as much enthusiasm as he had before, that got him and I both laughing. After that we sat down and ate...not with a lot of conversation which is good...I could tell living with Charlie would be peaceful compared to the mad house with my mother. After dinner I told Charlie I was going to bed.

"Ugh I need a shower I smell like my truck..." I said to myself and went to take my shower. I got my pajamas on then plopped myself on my computer that I had had since I was 10...which meant it was old and slow. While I waited for the old thing to freaking load I started to think what school would be like tomorrow. I hope people don't stare at me for being so pale, that'd just be embarrassing.

"FINALLY!" The damn thing loaded and I was reading to check my e-mails I knew would be there sent from Renée asking how my flight was and how I was doing so far. "Ahhhh" I stretched after reading and replying to all of my mother's paranoid e-mails about Forks and the "dangers" I could get in.

I felt it was time for bed so I tip toed to my bed not realizing how late I had been up for. It was 12p.m. already and I didn't want to wake up Charlie, but of course I had to trip on one of my books I had left out, "Wuthering Heights", one of my favorites. I picked it up and put it on the drawer next to my bed and slipped in-between the covers.

Though it was a useless attempt cause I couldn't sleep at all with my nerves now taking over. So instead of trying to sleep like I should, I grabbed my copy of "Wuthering Heights" I had set next to me and began to read it.

Before I knew it, it was 4:30a.m. Great first day of school and I'm going to be a zombie...just great. Well at least now I was too tired to feel nervous. I put book back on the drawer, turned off the light, and fell into a dream filled sleep of what my day would be like tomorrow. Or more like 3 hours.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

BEEP BEEP BEEP...Ugh Shut up. (5 minutes later) BEEP BEEP BEEP…Shut up!

(5 more minutes later)

BEEP BEEP BEEP...Alright already gezz, stupid damn alarm. I knew I was going to be tired today, but I didn't know I'd be THIS drained. Dang jet lag…

Today was going to be mortifying. I can barely keep my eyes open….I stumbled into the bathroom to pee giving me like 2 minutes of sleep on the toilet then got up to splash some cold water on my face. Shesh that was pointless.

I brushed the stank from my teeth and tried to tame the mane on my head some might refer to as hair. Once I felt decent enough I went to find something to wear for my first day of school. I found a blue blouse button up and a pair of black skinny jeans and accompanied it with my black flats.

I headed downstairs into the kitchen to eat. I cooked myself some eggs and drank a glass of orange juice with a sour face. Note to self, toothpaste and orange juice just don't mix. After I finished I grabbed my jacket, locked the door behind me, and headed to my truck to get myself to school.

I drove slower than I usually would have in a car. One reason was because this truck was new to me, I didn't want to break it the first chance I got to ride it. And second I was terrified to start a new school, mostly due to the stares I knew I would get-no matter how much I wished I wouldn't- for being the police chiefs' runaway bride's daughter. In a small town news spreads fast and gossip is all it lives on.

I drove until I came across a sign that read "WELCOME TO FORKS HIGH SCHOOL, HOME TO THE SPARTANS". I took two deep breaths and pulled into an empty parking lot. It seemed like I was early, so I decided to take a look-see at the school before the crowds of students got here and the embarrassment would begin.

I walked into the fronts doors of the school and started my solo tour of the school. First I decided it would be best find my locker-since I would have to use it first thing-before I did anything else.

My search landed me at locker #265, while I was beginning to try and open it I noticed a light was on in the classroom next to me-room 108-and I heard the sound of chalk being used.

I looked at the paper of my schedule/map that the school had sent me in the mail a week before, so hopefully I wouldn't have to go to the office today anytime soon at least. While I was looking at my schedule I noticed that my first period was biology in room 108, so I decided to check it out.

When I walked in the teacher…at least I think he was a teacher…didn't notice my arrival so I stayed quiet. I looked at him and held back a gasp. He was the most perfect creature I had ever laid my eyes on. He had a unique color of bronze colored hair that looked like sex on a stick, which he pulled off flawlessly.

Then I marveled at his muscles. Ah! His muscles were so perfect, even if I could only see what little his white collar button up shirt would let me observe. Next my eyes wondered downward, to what? Yes, his ass! Holy shit, I didn't think I could restrain myself from going right up to him and giving it a little squeeze.

When did I become such a pervert? Gezz.

As I was in my daydream land, staring at him, probably with a stupid grin on my face. I sneezed…just my luck. He turned around, now noticing me there, and smiled.

"Hello, may I help you? I'm Edward." Oh even his voice was so perfect, melting into my brain like a lullaby and making me really feel how tired a actually was from all my sleepless night getting ready for the big transition.

Everything was going blurry and I started to feel dizzy. Next thing I knew I was on the floor and everything was black. I've done this enough to know even in my weak state that I was fainting. So embarrassing..

ohh man now that I reread this I SERIOUSLY realize how far I've come since then. I know I have a lot to grow into but I really feel accomplished and it makes me feel inspired! I LOVE YOU GUYS. And this is taking forever cause now I have to fix everything that bugs me and combine chapters! Ugghh. Stick with me:) By the way does it seem better like this, longer chapter? I hope I got all the grammer shit, probably not. This is why I need a BETA, help me out DAWGGGS:)