(Hi, this is my take on what happens when the boys of the Sonic Team finds out about yaoi fan art and fan fictions on the internet. Hope you enjoy.)
Disclaimer: Sonic and co. belong to Sega.
Rhulain the CheetahWolf© me I'm my own fan character
Legend:
- :Talking
():Actions and Narration
One day I was viewing DA on a certain subject featuring the sonic team that I heard about and was curious to see.
(Me on my laptop in the living room of my house.)
Me- Hm... Some of these are pretty good art, albeit a little odd. ("click." sees next picture.) Wow, so that's what their kids would look like, if it was possible. Cute! ("click") *blushes* Whoa, hello! (Quickly covers screen and clicks out of that picture.) Sheesh, didn't think they could have pics like that. ("clicks") Okay, a few couples I can understand, but that couple is down right ridiculous.
????- What's ridiculous?
Me- WAAHHHO!!!!! (Quickly shuts screen and hugs it to myself. Then turns around behind me to see Sonic, Shadow, Silver and Knuckles looking at me curiously.) God and Almighty guys don't scare me like that! Ever hear of knocking?
Sonic- Sorry Rhulain, your door was open and you looked indulged so we didn't want to disturb you, but Shadow was impatient.
Shadow- Shut up, faker. So what was ridiculous?
Me- Nothing, it's private.
Silver- Please, can we have a look?
Me- No, absolutely not.
Knuckles- Why not?
Me- I already told you. It's private.
Sonic (grins)- It's not a baby picture of Knuckles on a bear skin rug is it? (laughs)
Knuckles- THAT'S NOT FUNNY!!
Me- No Sonic and quit picking on him.
Shadow- Jokes aside, what were you looking at?
Me- Will you stop asking that! I already said no! N-O, no! (I walk away with my laptop held to my chest leaving the boys in the living room.)
Silver- We just wanted a peek.
Knuckles- She can be so stubborn.
Shadow- She'd a perfect wife for you.
Knuckles- What you mea- Hey! (Tries to throw a punch but Sonic stands in front of him.)
Sonic- Whoa knucklehead, I know a way to convince her to show us.
Shadow- Do indulge us, faker.
Sonic gathers them in a huddle and whispers his plan to them. When he was done they come up with sinister smirks.
Sonic- So, boys can you pull it off?
Shadow- Your scheme rivals the doctor's, faker. She doesn't have a chance.
Silver- I'm in. Blaze always surrenders when I pull off my stuff.
Knuckles- Sonic, will you start us off since it's your plan?
Sonic- Be glad to.
As I was about to head up stairs Sonic zips up in front of me with a devious grin.
Me- I know that look, what are you up to?
Sonic- You sure we can't look?
Me- I'm sure. Now can I get by?
Sonic- Alright you left us with no choice. (Sonic had closed his eyes and lowered his head as I looked at him suspiciously. He then brings his head up with brightly big eyes, his irises and pupils dilated cutely. He placed his right pointer finger on his smiling lips that he shorted to give off the classic baby cute face. He even changed his voice to sound like a baby.) Pwlease we only want to see it rweal qwuick.
Me- Ack! *blushes* Oh, no! I know what you're doing there's no way I'm falling for it! (I back away, my face tinged pink, until I bump into someone from behind. I look to see a crimson body.) Not you too?!
Knuckles' eyes were also big but his bottom lip quivering into a sad pout.
Knuckles- Pwretty plwease Miss Rhulain. We're just cuwrious.
Me- AHH! Not the puppy pout! Figures you would use that! Stay away from me!
I try to run from the echidna and blue hedgehog only to come face to face with the white one. Silver curled his hands under his chin, his eyes the same as the others before only that he smiled the "kitten grin", I called it. His psychic aura sparkled around his eyes to appear cuter.
Silver- We prwomise we won't hurt your laptop. We just want to see. Mew!
Me- Awwww cute… Ack *blushes even more* NO! Stop you guys! I'm losing it.
I move away from Silver only to face Shadow. Fortunately he had on his usual scowl and crossed arms.
Me- Thank goodness, the sane one of this group. (As I saw the others loom closer with the cute faces still on their faces, I hide behind Shadow, who was not even objecting.) Shadow, can you please tell these guys to stop? I can't take much more!
Shadow- Really, are you close to breaking down?
Me- Huh? (I look at him. He still didn't look back at me.)
Shadow- Does this mean you surrender?
Me- What?!
Shadow turned to face me leaning close until we were inches apart and smiled his sexist smirk, his eyelids half-way closed and his ruby eyes glazed softly at mine. His voice was low and alluring.
Shadow- Give it up, you can't win. Just one little look, Rhulain.
Me- *blushes completely red around body* EEEEEP! (I ran away to a corner, the boys had me surrounded.) Shadow you traitor!! Four against one is so unfair!!!
Sonic- She's creaking… Surrender?
Me- No!!!
Sonic- Okay, boys it's time for the grand finale.
Me- Grand… Finale? (The four boys were grouping together Sonic and Shadow in front and Knuckles and Silver in the back. My eyes widened and I try to mold with the corner.) No, not that! Anything but that! Not the group shot! Not the group shot!
They loomed closer, all with their cute and sexy faces.
Boys- Plwease, Rhulain!
Me- YYAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! Alright, alright already!! You win, I surrender!! (Cries.)
Knuckles- Victory!
As the boys celebrate their victory with high fives, save for Shadow he only gave a smug smirk, I go back to the living room to place my laptop on the center table. They gather round behind me.
Me- Alright, I haven't logged out of the site so it should still be there. While you guys look at that I'm going to go outside to the patio to get some fresh air… (Cries) and recover. (Whispers) Don't blame me if you get scarred for life.
I walk out to my patio rubbing my temples.
Me- ARRRH! I hate it when they pull the cute faces on me, they are so emo! (I sit down on one of my patio chairs and sigh for a few moments.) I know I'm going to regret not making black coffee this morning in about 5... 4... 3... 2... (Plugs ears with fingers) 1.
Boys- YAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
RRRHHUUUUUULLLLAAAAAIIINNNNN!!!!
Me- (Unplugs ears and rests chin on my hand.) And there they go.
I could hear the rumbling of their feet as they head out onto the patio, the three hedgehogs stop abruptly in front of me yelling all at once, no words were recognizable. Sonic was wide eyed, Shadow looking ready to use a chaos blast and Silver was about to faint. Their loud yelling was not helping my headache so I had to speak out.
Me- Boys… boys… BOYS!! (They all quiet down as I held out my hand with four fingers up.) Four words: Big, long, deep, breaths. (They all take four deep breaths and finally sit on the other chairs I had.) Now, calmly, one at a time. Sonic?
Sonic- WHY ARE THERE PICS OF ME MAKING OUT WITH SHADOW?!
Shadow- WHY AM I IN BED WITH BOTH THESE FAKERS?!
Silver- THERE'S A PIC OF KNUCKLES GIVING ME A TOUNGE BATH?! JUST WHAT IS ALL THAT?!
Me- That's calmly? Well, guys… Hey, where is Knuckles?
We all walk back into the living room to find him standing stiff as a board looking at the laptop with his mouth closed and wide eyes.
Shadow- Good lord, is he still looking at it?
Silver- (Looks at laptop, it's on stand by.) No, the screen is blank.
Me- Knuckles?… Hey, Knuckles?! (I wave my hand in front of him and snap my fingers.) Oh, dear! He's was so overwhelmed he's in complete shock.
Sonic- Let's get him outside, but carefully.
With Silvers telekinetic powers we were able to take the shocked echidna to the patio. After I covered him with a blanket we all sat back down and the three hedgehog look at me again.
Sonic- So what… was… that?
Me- Boy's allow me to introduce you to a world far different from your own…
Shadow- What is this a movie intro? And why were you looking at it?!
Sonic- Shadow! Continue Rhulain.
Me- Thank you. As I was saying you had just glimpsed into a fandom community which you may not have known. Fandom Homosexual boy/boy love or in shorter Japanese terms: yaoi. I heard about it from a forum and I wanted to see what it was about though I had a more tame reaction than you guys.
Sonic- Yaoi?
Me- Yep, basically it's what some fans like to view of their favorite male characters interacting like a couple in fan arts, fan fictions and other such ways to show others on the internet. As you've just seen, even though I warned you. And you've got to admit some of the artists draw them really well along with their other works.
Sonic- Can't argue there? Even if it is weird. There were some funny comics and pictures.
Silver- And animations like that one with you and Shadow going online and finding those pics.
Me- I saw that one, now that was really funny.
Shadow- Shut up, all of you! (We all looked at the black and red hedgehog.) Just tell me who started this so I can strangle them.
Me- Shadow you can't do that.
Shadow- Why not?!
Me- I can give you many reasons: first, they're your fans, two you can't change what people think and what they like if we all thought the same then our world would be boring wouldn't it?
Shadow- Yeah, but…
Me- And three you want them to keep buying your products don't you?
Sonic- She has a point.
Shadow- Still…
Silver- What's your full take on it Rhulain? Now that you've seen it.
They looked at me as I sighed, crossed my arms and spoke in an serious manner.
Me- Well I like some of the pictures, I like most of the fan fictions and there are some that I wouldn't want to look at again, but if you want my full opinion I'll say this. I'm an open minded person and I like looking at others points of view. I would never discriminate, disrespect and/or make negative comments to anyone who likes and creates things that seem strange to others. Be it a picture or the written word. If that subject is what some like, I'm not going to complain. With yaoi it's no different from works of art. I'm not going to be a hard core fan of it but it is an interesting subject that I'm glad I looked at. With any kind or type of love that I look up I look at it with one rule.
Sonic- And that is?
Me- Love has no limits nor boundaries.
Silence reigned for a few moments as the hedgehogs let my words sunk in.
Sonic- That's a bit deep.
Shadow- I still don't like it.
Me- You don't have to. No one is forcing you.
Silver- So how are we going to deal with it?
Me- The only advice I can give you is this: You can make a big fuss about it and distance yourselves from your fans, thus losing paying customers of your products… (I gave them a mischievous grin at them as they looked back at me bemused.) or you can be mature gentleman and accept it. It's just a fandom, you don't have to act them out. (Then I raised my eye brow at them with a devious grin.) It's not like you guys are going to do a threesome in front of me are you?
Boys- THAT'S NOT FUNNY!!
Me- Ha, ha… I'm kidding, I'm kidding. So What's it going to be, gentlemen?
For a few moments all three of them hung their heads in deep thought, Knuckles had not moved since this conversation started. Then Sonic broke the silence.
Sonic- Well, from what you said and you made some good points… I guess I'm fine with it.
Silver- Me too. But it's still weird.
We all looked at Shadow.
Me- Shadow?
He placed his chin on his gloved hand and closed his eyes.
Shadow- Whatever.
I smiled and shook my head. Glad this argument was over and my headache was decreasing.
Amy- Hey guys.
We looked up to see Amy, Rouge, Mina, Sally, Fiona and Blaze at my patio doorway.
Rouge- What are you doing?
Me- Hi girls. Just discussing a few things, nothing serious. How can I help you?
Amy- We were wondering if we could use your laptop to look at what we think is a new perfume. I think it's called Sonic Yuri. Can we?
Sonic- Now that's odd, a perfume named after me. (He grins.)
Shadow- Did log off that site?
Me- Yeah while we were bringing down Knuckles. Go ahead girls.
Girls- Thanks.
They all left and when they were far enough Silver spoke up.
Silver- Heaven forbid if the girls saw those pics.
Shadow- I would be on the receiving end of Amy's hammer for years.
Silver- Blaze would always look at me strangely and burn my butt off.
Sonic- Rouge would only use it for a laugh and blackmail. Thank god Tails and Cream aren't here.
Me- It could be worse.
Shadow- How could it be worse?
Me- They could turn into yaoi fans.
They stare at me for a moment then looked back each other.
Boys-…………. (They hung their Heads.) That's true.
Knuckles- Can I ask a question?
Silver- Whoa!
Sonic- Knuckles, when did you wake up?
Knuckles- A while ago.
Me- What's your question Knuckles?
Knuckles- If yaoi is boy/boy love, what's girl/girl love called?
Shadow- OMG! You're thinking about that?
Knuckles- I'm just curious, okay?!
Sonic- I don't even want to know what pairings are on that.
Silver- Don't get started.
Me- Guys relax. As I said with yaoi, it's not really going to happen and your just going to have to accept it. As to your question Knuckles, it think the Japanese word for it is… Yuri.
Silver- *GASP* (Silver had stiffened up with wide eyes in a shocked look as if he saw a ghost. We all looked at him curiously.)
Sonic- What's up with you Silver?
Silver- (He then pointed to the doorway where the girls left. His voice sounded shaky and worried.) Didn't the girls say they were going to check on something called 'Sonic yuri'.
Our eyes widened and we all looked at each other, I then hid my face in my hands.
Me- …. Oh, no.
Girls- YYYYAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
RRRRHHHUUUUUUULLLLLAAAAAAAAIIIIIINNNNNN!!!!!!!
We cringed at the high pitched sound.
Me- Here we go again.(I cry and rub my temples again, indicating my headache returned.) This isn't my day.
Shadow- Want me to make you some coffee?
Me- (I look at him with pleading eyes.) Would you, Shadow? That's sweet of you, I'd really appreciate it. Can you make it black?
Shadow- As black as my fur.
As I get up Sonic Silver and Knuckles came up with me.
Sonic- And we'll go with you for support and protection. To make up for our 'cute face' attacks on you earlier.
Me- I'll need it. Thanks guys.
Girls- RHULAIN!!!!!!!!!!
Me- I'm coming! Good grief.
As Shadow left for my kitchen, the rest of us went up stairs to face the music.
Knuckles- Let's hope Amy doesn't have her hammer.
Sonic- Don't press our luck.
Me- Thank God I got home insurance.
Shadow had started the coffee maker and leaned against the counter. He thought of what had transpired and gave a big sigh.
Shadow- We live on a strange planet.