APRIL FOOLS!!!

Disclaimer: I do not own Legion.

I love messing with you guys. But seriously, there will be an actual special. I was kinda in the holiday mood. When your birthday's December 25th you kinda think about the holiday all year round. That and I like doing these sorts of things. It gives me a chance to give Legion fans what the want and stop complaining about Geoff Johns characterization in Lo3W. A sorta sequel to Santa Claws, and another adaptation of a Goosebumps story that had a dumb ending. I might do one with Ayla and her brother.

Inferno: Possibly Sandy Anderson of Earth. Pyrokinetic abilities. It's believed by some that she's the counterpart of a Legion villain named Beauty Blaze.

Note, the character, Debby, is supposed to be an analogue of Deborah Morgna, Sungirl, a possible relative of Sun Boy who joined Deathstroke's Titans East. Oh, and Belle is the french word for Beauty for those of you who don't watch many disney films.

-03. Marshmallow Surprise: Flaming Wolves Edition

Young Ebony Dent stifled a yawn and rubbed her eyes. She was exhausted. Went to bed at 4 and woke up at 10. She'd been pretty much quiet all day, concerning the events that plagued her, and Ayla Ranzz, the night before. She had her black hair down, as usual, and was wearing a black shirt for the theme-park ride "Good-Bye Land", your last stop on Earth. The words surrounded by a boarder of graves and funeral flowers.

She was riding on the shoulders of Garth Ranzz of New Earth, Lightning Lad. The older counterpart of that universe's Lightning Lad wore a uniform that was basically the same, save that the blue was a bit lighter. Other distinctions were the difference in age, the tattoo, the lack of a metallic arm and beard, save for a bit of stubble, the fact that his sister was the same age as him and his brother was still an amoral psychopath, and that he was married with a child.

The younger girl was refusing to go to sleep, and she wouldn't explain why. Her head rested on top of his.

"Come on, kid, tell me what's wrong." Garth told her.

"What would make you think anything's wrong?" Ebony obstinately said as she played with a strand of his hair.

"Besides this little attitude thing you've got going on, you've hardly said anything all day."

"I just didn't have that much to say."

Garth wasn't swallowing that.

"You barely said a word at dinner. Didn't act up at all, not even one of your delusional weight jokes. I was actually looking forward to one to make things interesting."

"Maybe I've run out of material." Ebony said. Garth rolled his eyes.

"You? Please. And you haven't acted excited at all at the idea of what you might be getting tomorrow morning."

"Oh yeah? How come you didn't act surprised when you saw your parents?"

That really was a low blow. His, and his sister's parents died, but his younger counterpart's were still alive and kicking.

"Those aren't my parents, and no low blows from you." Garth sternly told her.

"Sorry." She muttered.

"Are you still scared about what happened last night?" He asked.

"No, it's not that."

"Well come on, tell monkey boy what's bothering you." He sympathetically said.

"…"

Garth scowled.

"Ebony are we back to square one? I thought we were through this." He was recalling the earlier moments she had when they first brought her back to the HQ, in that state.

"It's not that. Yes, it is about last night, but it's not-" She didn't have a chance to finish.

"I'm really ticked at Saturn Queen and Slasher. Here it is December 24. You should be worrying about what Santa's getting you, instead of getting eaten by the boogeyman or getting chopped up by axe murders. When I was your age, all we worried about was if we'd find coal under the tree."

"Stop assuming I'm just a stupid little girl who thinks that monsters and murderers are going to gut her alive!!" Ebony yelled at him, right in his ear. Garth was taken aback.

"Whoa. Take it easy, I-"

"And don't assume that all I care about is what I'm going to find under that tree, because right now I'm hoping it won't be a severed head." Now she cut him off as she got off his shoulders stood in front of him. Her fists were shaking.

"No. No don't cry. Don't cry. Don't…" She told herself. "I'm not scared. For me. You were asleep. Ayla was asleep. Eve, Saturn Queen, whatever, she had you under her spell. If, if I hadn't woken Ayla up, woke you up, we'd be dead. All of us. I'm afraid, that, if I go to sleep tonight, then, something bad might happen. To anyone. They might, be dead, and, and I don't want that to happen. I don't." She bit down on her lip. Garth felt sorry for her, as he usually did. Her older self was much calmer, this child was more sarcastic and sadder. Not all the time, but enough to cause concern.

What made matters worse was when they were joined by the Legionnaire who was sleeping in the room the were right in front of. The ever cranky, ever fiery Sandy Anderson, Inferno. The door hissed open and there she stood. Half-asleep and mad.

"You mind telling her to shut up? People are trying to sleep." Sandy told Garth. He scowled at her.

"Back off, Anderson, the kid had a rough night."

"Oh please, Dent has a rough life. After hearing her sob stories over and over they lose their zest." She snapped at him. "She clings to you Ranzzes like a virus, it's pathetic."

"You used to live in the 20th Century, right?" Garth asked. "Know what this means?" He said as he showed her a certain finger.

"Oh sprock you." She said and, giving him a dirty look, shut the door. Garth picked Ebony up again. She was doing her best not to cry.

"Calm down, kid, it's alright. No one's breaking in here tonight." He told her.

"How do you know that?"

"Besides the fact that there are two of most of us?" He sarcastically asked.

"That still doesn't help."

"Hows about some hot chocolate? That help?" Garth smiled as he asked. still playing the role of the father figure instead of the hothead. They were right near the kitchen.

"Maybe."

"There's nothing chocolate can't cure."

"What about zits?"

"Touché."

A few minutes later the two were together in the kitchen. Ebony was nursing a blue mug in front of her as Garth held a red on.

"Marshmallows?" He asked as he held a bag of "Stay Puff" marshmallows in front of her.

"You're a marshmallow." She quipped under her breath.

"But a muscular one." He reminded her with a laugh as he flexed his arm. She usually got a laugh out of that. But, she didn't look up as she started to put marshmallows in her cup and watched them dissolve.

He sighed again when he saw the downward look on her face. He thought of how to explain it to her, to get her to stop acting like a little pessimist.

"Look, it's nice that you worry about other people-"

"Mom taught me that." Ebony cut him off.

"Well I don't your mom would want you to worry about it too much." Garth tried to tell her.

"I want to. Don't you worry about your friends and family?" She asked. He laughed.

"They spend too much time worrying about me. You're a kid, you shouldn't worry so much." He said, sitting across from her at the small kitchen table.

"So what if I'm a kid, I'm not allowed to worry?" She asked again.

"You should be enjoying childhood, kid. When I was your age I was up at four every morning doing farm work, then school, then more farm work." He listed them off on his finger tips.

"Like I've had so much fun so far." Ebony muttered. Garth sighed.

"Man, you know how to bring a guy down." He sighed.

"I'm sorry if I don't spend that much time worrying about Barbie and what boy band is popular. I guess don't know how to act like a kid."

Garth began to wonder as to what would get the girl off such morbid thoughts, when he saw an old, leather-bound book on the kitchen counter.

"Is this your book?" He asked her.

"Yeah, I haven't finished reading most of the stories in it, though." Ebony told him.

A light bulb popped up.

"How 'bout a story to get your mind off things. That'd help?" Garth asked. Ebony shrugged her shoulders.

"You could try."

He smiled as he started to flip through the pages of the leather-bound book.

"Hmm, here we go." He stopped at a certain page and read through some of the story. "I might have to change a few names."

"Why?"

"It's fun. This one's about what happens when you're inconsiderate to people. Like Miss Anderson." He smirked.

"Let's see…" Garth trailed off before he started at…

…

"Faster! Come on, faster!" 13 year-old Sandy Anderson challenged her little sisters, 9 year-old Belle and 8 year-old Deborah, or Debby, as they raced down the snowy hill this afternoon of December 23rd. Her sisters raced past her on their sled.

"Can't catch us, slowpoke!" Debby mocked as Belle stuck her tongue.

"Oh yeah? I-WATCH OUT!" Sandy yelled when she saw where her sisters were headed.

"What?!" The yelled, not knowing the danger.

"You're heading for Mrs. McCauley's yard!" Sandy screamed.

"WHAT?!"

Too late! They sped past the "No Tresspassers" and were on a pre-programmed destination straight into her frozen flower beds. Sandy followed after, trying to stop, when the sled spun around and crashed into Mrs. McCauley's mail box. Sandy lay on her back as her sisters struggled out of the icy bushes. Sandy felt around the back of her head, a bump forming under her blond hair.

"Ooohhh. My head." She moaned.

"You okay, Sandy?" Debby asked.

"Maybe. I guess. But, oh geez, look at the mailbox."

The white mail box cracked in half. The metal box was crunched under the impact of the sled. Splinters of wood lay in the snowy yard.

"It's off to a better place." Belle said.

"And you are too, Sandy, when Mrs. McCauley finds out what you did to it. Nice knowing you." Debby said.

"It was an accident! Honest." Sandy tried to defend herself.

"Try telling her that. You know Mrs. McCauley hates kids." Belle said. It was true. The old woman was nothing but pure spite when it came to children.

"I can offer to pay for it. Or fix it." Sandy thought out loud.

"We don't have time. It's getting late, Mom and Dad are gonna kill us if we're late for dinner. Especially tonight of all nights!" Belle said. Sandy looked up. It was orange sunset. Night was coming soon. The girls knew how mad their parents got when they stayed out after dark, which made it hard for them to have any fun during winter because of how early night comes.

"And if we're late, think of what they might do." Debby shivered at the thought. "We might not get any Christmas gifts!"

"But I can't just leave it here, Debby." Sandy explained.

"Are you kidding? We can't stay here. Mrs. McCauley is nuts! Remember when she called the police AND the dog catcher because Blaze dug a hole in her garden?" Belle reminded.

"And the time she called Dad and complained about how we cut across her yard to get to school?" Debby broght that up. "Or forget that. How about the time she threatened to have mom's car towed because she parked in front of her house that one time."

"You know what Roy Travich told me in Math Class?" Debby said.

"What?"

"He said that Mrs. McCauley likes to bury kids in her garden! That's why she's always growing so many weird plants." Debby told her sisters.

"Belle, Debby, that doesn't make sense. Mrs. McCauley isn't nuts, and she's not a killer, she's just mean." Sandy tried to explain.

"We know. That's why it's so much fun pulling pranks on her all the time!" Belle happily said.

"And you wonder why she's so mean." Sandy said.

"Well she deserves it!" Belle defended herself. "That's why we like to ring her door bell and then run off."

"Or that time we ordered ten pepperoni and anchovy pizzas and had them delivered to her house." Debby remembered.

"Yeah, she went really nuts that time." Belle agreed. Sandy gasped.

"That was you two? She blamed April Dumakis for that!"

"We know." Debby said.

"Well I'm at least going to apologize for the mail box." Sandy firmly said.

"No way! We're getting out of here before she catches us!" Her two sisters then grabbed her by the sleeves of her winter coat and started to drag her.

"Hey! Let go!" Sandy cried.

"This is for your own good, sis!" Belle said.

"We-*ulp*." Debby's words broke off like icicles on a gutter.

"What?" Her sister asked. The girls gasped when they saw, blocking their path, Mrs. McCauley! The old woman had her black hair tied in a bun, pulled tight. The skin around her eyes resembled the worn, crinkled pages of an old newspaper. Her lips pressed tight, when, before the girls horrified eyes, she smiled. Smiled!

"You kids having fun?" She asked sweetly.

"Huh?" They saud together.

"It certainly is a good day to be riding your sleds, that's for sure."

"Mrs. McCauley?" Sandy asked, not believing her own eyes. Mrs. McCauley gasped when she saw the damage.

"Oh my! You've had an accident! Is everyone okay?" She asked.

"Y-yeah. We're fine." Debby stammered.

"A little bump on the head." Sandy told the old woman. "But, your mailbox, it's destroyed."

"Oh no need to worry. It can be replaced. Just as long as no one was hurt. But you children must be freezing." Mrs. McCauley said empathetically.

"Well yeah, but-"

"I know just what you need. A nice cup of my special hot cocoa. You girls like hot cocoa?" She asked them. The girls looked at one another, wondering what to say.

"Yeah. Of course." Belle said.

"Well, that's really nice of you, Mrs. McCauley, but, it's getting late and we wouldn't want to put you to any trouble." Sandy told her.

"No trouble. No trouble at all. I insist." Mrs. McCauley said. She led the girls up the stairs of her porch to her front door. Her sisters huddled behind her.

"Are you crazy, Sandy? It's a trick!" Debby whispered.

"Mom and dad are gonna freak if we're late. Remember last time?" Belle asked. Sandy shuddered at the thought.

"We wouldn't be in this jam if you'd let me apologize like I wanted. And besides, it'd be rude if I said no." Sandy whispered back.

Besides, what'll she do if we do say no?

As much as their parents scared them, Mrs. McCauley was a million times worse.

"Come in, come in." Mrs. McCauley motioned. Silently, the girls walked in. In the hallway, Sandy got a good feel of how long Mrs. McCauley lived there. Apparently, forever. The wallpaper was faded, the wooden floor creaked. The walls were lit by candles which cast shadows over the girls. Behind her, her sisters were tracking slush on the floor, no matter how hard they tried to wipe it off. Mrs. McCauley scowled, until she noticed that Sandy was looking at her and plastered on a smile.

"Not to worry. That can be cleaned up later."

She led the girls down the hall into her kitchen. Strange scents filled the air. The room was filled with shelves littered with jars filled with plants, herbs, seeds, and other odd items. An old iron stove was near the other end, as well as a big black pot in the fireplace. A single window above the sink showed that night still hadn't approached, but it was almost there.

"Now come in and warm up over by the fire while I get you some of my hot cocoa." Mrs. McCauley motioned. Sandy's gaze wandered over to the shelves that dominated the room. The jars were dusty and old. Her attention came to one jar near the bottom, filled with white, round things that looked like... eyeballs? Were those eyeballs?! No, no, a closer look and she could see they were small plant bulbs.

"Wow, you sure have a lot of weird stuff." Sandy muttered as she picked up a jar with preserved blue flowers.

"Yes, well, I grow many things in my garden." Mrs. McCauley said, omniously, as she stirred a ladle in the big black pot.

"What's-ACHOO! ACHOO!!" Sandy started sneezing like crazy before she finally put the jar back. Her sisters didn't say a word, they were keeping their gaze on Mrs. McCauley, who asked Sandy if she was alright.

"Sorry. I'm allergic to dust." Sandy said quickly. "What is this stuff?"

"Aconitum. Wolfsbane." Mrs. McCauley was pointing to the jar Sandy was just holding. She then pointed to one above it, with red and yellow plants inside.

"And that's witch hazel."

"Witch hazel! You hear that?" Sandy's siblings gasped as they whispered.

"Belladonna. Flea bane. Elderberries. Mugwort. Wormwood. And so many others I lose track." Mrs. McCauley listed them off.

"What are they for?" Debby asked.

"Oh, this and that, Deborah."

The girls sat together at the wooden kitchen table. The orange sky was starting to turn purple, although the sisters didn't see the moon rising near the trees. It was full that night. Mrs. McCauley poured cocoa into three mugs, out of the big black pot. Sandy thought that there could be enough hot chocolate for everyone in town, based on the size of the pot.

"Now then, I hope you enjoy this. This cocoa recipe has been in my family for generations. I've never shared it with anyone before. I use some herbs in my garden for this. It even has a special name." Mrs. McCauley said as she handed the girls their cocoa.

"What's that?" Sandy asked.

"Marshmallow Surprise." She said with a smile on her face.

"Really? But, where are the marshmallows?" Debby asked. There were no marshmallows that they could see.

"Oh drink up and see."

The girls, hesitantly, did as they were told. To their surprise.

"Wow! This is great!" Debby exclaimed.

"Awesome!" Belle agreed. Sandy silently sipped, to her amazement, and pretty much they drank up the whole thing.

"This IS good, Mrs. McCauley." Sandy said, finally catching sight of how late it was. "But, we've gotta get going. It's starting to get late." Sandy explained, watching as the pale full moon started to rise in the violet twilight.

"Hold on, I wanna find out where the marshmallows are." Debby told her sister.

"Oh it's no trouble, girls. It's just my little way of repaying you for so many neighborly things you've done for me." Mrs. McCauley told the girls, a sly grin on her aged lips. The sisters blanked.

"What? What kind of neighborly things, Mrs. McCauley?" Sandy asked.

"Well, let's see…" The old woman started to think. When she pointed a long, gnarled finger at Debby.

"Deborah. You threw that ball through my window last spring." Deborah gasped.

"Belle, you rode your bike through my garden and smashed up my fence last summer, and don't think I didn't know it was you. You don't know how hard it was fixing that fence." Belle paled. Sandy's jaw dropped, before her face turned red.

"You two! I can't believe-"

"And YOU, Sandy." Mrs. McCauley cut her off.

"Me? What'd I?" Sandy eyes moved nervously around the room, avoiding contact with Mrs. McCauley's.

"Oh there is the manner of that little bag you left on my doorstop last Halloween. The one that was on fire, I believe." Mrs. McCauley coldly, cruely spat out. Sandy blushed as her sisters gave her dirty looks.

"So, Ms. High and Mighty isn't so perfect after all." Belle said.

"Shut up!" Sandy snapped.

"And you girls left such a mess in my front yard today. Destroying my mailbox, uprooting my rose bushes. Tsk." Mrs. McCauley waved a finger at them. She'd only pretended to be nice, Sandy realized. She tricked them, and we fell for it like idiots. Sandy stood up.

"L-look Mrs. McCauley, we've gotta go." Sandy said, her eyes pinned to the window.

"Yeah! Or you'll be sorry!" Belle threatened.

"You'll really be-*hurk!*" Debby clutched her stomach as she violently hacked her lungs up. White foam was dripping out of her mouth.

"Debby!" Belle screamed, before she was clutching her stomach and suffering the same ailment as her sister.

"I'll be sorry! Ha!" Mrs. McCauley mocked the siblings. A cruel smile on her wrinkled face. "You girls can't go!"

"What'd you-*hakk* *HAAAKK!!*" Sandy fell backwards, stumbling over the chair, in full pain.

"It's because of the Marshmallow Surprise I gave you. Those herbs I put in from my garden. It's happening right now." Mrs. McCauley recanted with a wild look in her eyes.

"You evil-" Sandy struggled to say as she foamed at the mouth.

"Your bones turning to mush! Your bodies softening! YOU are the marshmallow surprise, you rotten brats!" Mrs. McCauley shook her hands in triumph, when, through their coughing and convulsing, the sisters began to laugh.

"Heh heh! The joke's on you, you old *Hurk* That doesn't work on us!" Sandy laughed. Mrs. McCauley's smile disappeared.

"What?"

"We said we had to go. B-but, but you let us stay too late." Sandy told her.

"We said we had to go and y-y-you didn't listen!" Belle said.

"Especially on tonight of all nights of the month!" Debby pointed a clawed hand to the kitchen window. To the full moan.

Coarse brown fur. Yellow eyes. Drooling, sharp fangs. Clawed hands and feet.

"W-werewolves?! You're werewolves?!"

"Look girls, Marshmallow Surprise!" Sandy growled.

"Yummy!" Her sisters exclaimed as they pounced on the old woman. They knew though, that they were in trouble.

Their parents wouldn't like it that they filled up on junk food before dinner.

…

Ebony gaped, the mug in her hands empty.

"Werewolves? They turned out to be werewolves?" She spoke with the voice of a nonbeliever.

"That's what it says in the book, I guess." Garth said, a bit weirded out himself, even though he knew how it ended. Ebony laughed out loud.

"That is so ridiculous! What a stupid ending!" Ebony laughed again.

"Yep, I guess it is. But the point still stands. When you're inconsiderate to people, bad things happen."

"But, that point kinda gets watered down if the old lady gets eaten by the kids." Ebony explained.

"I know."

"They why tell it?"

"I figured you should get a laugh out of it." He chuckled.

"I did. I guess." Ebony told him.

"Feeling better?" He asked.

"A little." She said.

"Good, then maybe I could tell you about MY surprise." He said with a sly grin. She turned pale.

"What? What'd you do?"

"Look at the bottom of the cup."

She did as she was told, but saw nothing but a couple of leftover drops of the chocolate drink.

"I don't see anything."

"Closer."

She squinted her eyes.

"No. I don't…"

"Closer…"

"Well, I think… oh no." She said as she felt his shadow spread over her. And then his knuckle on her head.

"SURPRISE!" Garth cried out as he twisted his knuckle into her head.

"Aah! Get off!" She cried as he put her in a headlock to complete the noggie he was giving her.

"Never!" He told her as she squirmed in his headlock. About five minutes later she finally got out, having to listen to his laughter.

"You get that much fun out of abusing little kids?" Ebony asked, rubbing her head and smirking.

"Don't be so ridiculous, my little ink spot." Garth said as he ruffled her hair.

"Monkey." She muttered.

"Vampire bat." He said back.

End.