LOL, SORRY I TOOK FOREVER, GUYS. My computer totally committed suicide and when I took it to my technician, he told me there was no hope... so I'm writing this on a different one. Hopefully I'll get a new laptop this month.

ANYWAY, HERE I GO.

X

I jolted awake, my half-lidded gaze meeting Edward's concerned one. I blinked before realizing I was sprawled out on his couch, as he sat on the bed, his brows furrowed in worry.

"Bella?" He prompted, moving closer. I felt my body suddenly heat up -- he was just so hot. Not in the literal sense, obviously, but his cool hand stroking the back of my head eased the pain from my headache.

Wait, headache?

"What happened?" I mumbled, my words tumbling out of my mouth in a haphazardly fashion. His eyes, not as bright as they were before, but certainly not onyx--yet--danced in the florescent lighting. I glanced at the grand, unframed window. The sun was setting, making it evident that it was now dusk. It was twilight.

Just like in the book! Ooh, this was so exciting! I sprang up from my awkward position, suddenly much more alert, but regretted it immediately; the room spun.

"Emmett offered you vodka," Edward explained, gently coaxing me back down." After displaying a volley of drunken rampages and outbursts, you passed out in my kitchen." His lips turned upwards into a crooked smile, and I felt the urge to embrace him -- but, considering my current state, I suppressed it. Instead, my adoration was replaced with anger. Imagine it, upset with somebody so gorgeous! I didn't think it was possible, either.

"How could you let me drink vodka?!" I exclaimed, my voice still slightly raspy from my hangover. I suddenly felt nauseous. "I... I've never even had alcohol before!"

"I'm sorry," He responded, sounding offended. "You said you could handle it."

"I didn't know what it was!" I defended myself. I was prepared to argue further, but my stomach protested, the vodka clearly disagreeing with it.

Edward must have noticed--maybe I wore a queasy expression, I don't know--but he was quickly on his feet and rubbing small circles into my back. Instantly, I relaxed.

Then I wondered... where was the real Bella? Was she out there living my life? Would I be stuck here forever, and would my parents be worried? A variety of sudden anxieties flooded my mind, rendering Edward's exercise useless.

But, screw them! I'd prefer this hunky angel over family, friends, or a normal life. And who needed to breathe? Maybe I could convince him to turn me into a vampire tonight, and a helluva lot better than his other girlfriend could.

"Darling," I began, using the sweetest voice possible in my current condition. "I was thinking..."

"Bella." He stopped me, his voice flat. "Or should I say... IMPOSTER!" His sudden outburst was absolutely out of character, and I had to wonder if he had been replaced by someone else too.

"Wuh... What?!" I stammered, alarmed. Had he figured me out?! A wide range of possibilities were presented before me, and I couldn't handle so many thoughts at once.

I exploded.

Just kidding.

"I don't know what you are, or why you're here, but you aren't the woman I love." He told me, his tone borderline angry. "I've been able to read your mind this entire time, and the things I'm hearing are absolutely disgusting! Giving up your family and life at home just to be with someone you called a 'hunky angel'? Please! I'm not even real!" He roared, and I became frightened. "No, I will not have sex with you -- No, I am not going to replace the love of my life with some hopeless fangirl -- And no, I am not going to change you into a vampire!"

"Oh, ok." I replied. "Can we still be friends?"

"Sure."

X

It's two in the morning and I'm writing this on a whim. Can you blame me for the obvious retardation?

WELL, ANYWAY, IT'S OVER. THERE WAS NO JACOB. HAHA, I TRICKED YOU.

Anyway, I intended to make this more lulzy, but because it's late and I'm tired, I nearly turned it into an actual fanfic... my mistake! So I had to end it quick. It's total crap, I get it, whatever... review, anyways. :D