This story takes place during the epilogue of The Secrets of Sector Seven. I don't own the TF...if I did...I'd be rich, and I'd kick a certain directors creative heiny for killing off Jazz. Yup, I would.

"Ready to go boo?"

Zoe nodded and dropped the last bag onto a pile of several. "Yup."

Jazz groaned inwardly. Were all femmes the same? Did all femmes need to bring with them everything they owned everywhere they went, every time? Did she need that tent thing? How many pairs of socks did a human really need? Oh well…he sighed in resignation; I hope that it all fits. He had the smallest form other than Arcee.

She went on, despite his misgivings. "This camping trip is going to be fun. Transform so I can load you up ok?"

He was not so sure about that, but any time alone with Zoe was welcome. In addition, in light of the fact that she would be returning to Cybertron with the Orion crew, while he remained here on Earth, any time at all was a gift. He transformed and was glad that Optimus had given him these three days so the Orion crew could prep and Ratchet could modify the orbital bouncer for human use.

Ratchet had assuaged her fears about Roscoe and his store. He'd made it a priority to get both Bee's and Ironhide's holoforms up and running so they could, along with Jazz, help the elderly human in his store. After all, they were 'borrowing' his property for their base.

Roscoe hadn't taken kindly to the three 'boys' as he put it, and had slapped Ironhide's holoform on the back of the head after Ironhide shattered an entire crate of peanut butter, knocked over a shelf of wine, and nearly flooded out the backroom sink. After that, they had to keep Ironhide from retaliating with his cannons upon Roscoe's helpless pick-up. At that point, Optimus decreed that only Jazz or Bee help the human. Moreover, Jazz wondered if it had been Ironhide's clever plan all along to get out of the detail.

He held back a grunt of discomfort as Zoe forced his trunk closed, but within moments, they sped away on their trip.

Inside the car, Zoe settled back for the drive, and chatted away with Jazz about anything and everything that came up. It was so easy to talk to him and the conversation flowed so naturally. Even the silence was comfortable and relaxed. "So Jazz," she finally said. "I know we're headed to the Grand Canyon, but where exactly?"

"Well," he said. "According to a topography map, there is a place I think would be safe for us several miles south of Yaki point. I can climb down to the river from there, and most of the hikers would be heading north on the main trail, so we should be fairly isolated."

Zoe nodded and was quiet a moment, that sort of quiet that put Jazz a bit on edge. "Jazz, do you trust me?"

"You know that I do, boo."

"No, I mean really trust me." She clarified.

Now more than a little apprehensive, he hesitated slightly. "…Of course, but…why? What's up?"

Zoe leaned forward towards the steering wheel and trailed her fingernails lightly across the dashboard, by the gauges; she knew they were a pulse point for him. In response, Jazz's engine revved a bit. "Well…" she drawled with a smile. "I want you to shut down for a while."

"Say what?"

"Ok Ok." The tone in his vocalize made her want to explain a bit more. "There is something I want to do for you. A surprise, but it will not work if you actually see it coming. So…I want you to shut-down for while and when you wake up, you'll see it."

As much as he trusted her, the thought of letting someone else control his body was weird, and not the good type of weird. It was something he'd never even considered in his sizeable lifetime. There were plenty of times he went to stasis in one place and woke up in another. Still it wasn't the same as letting someone possess your functions.

In his spark, he knew Zoe would never do anything to hurt him, embarrass him, or make him go against his code. It wasn't a matter of trust; it was a matter of letting go that not-so-irrational fear of losing control.

"…Zoe." Jazz said with a voice heavy with trepidation.

"Come on, Jazz, please? I promise you'll like it, and I'll make it up to you. Pleeeease?" She gave his dashboard her best puppy dog eyes.

A sigh escaped him them. It was hard for him to deny her anything, but… those eyes... "Alright," he conceded, finally. "And just how are you going to make it up to me?"

Zoe laughed and hugged the steering wheel. "Don't worry. You'll like that part too."

It was a bit over three hours later when they reached the highway turn off to Yaki, and the mid-morning sun was bright in a sky free from clouds. "Ok Jazz. Stop here."

Obediently he rolled to a stop on the deserted highway. "Is this where I power down?" He still had misgivings, but did his best to swallow those. Zoe nodded, still in the driver's seat, and gazed out the window at the beautiful Arizona scenery.

Suddenly she squealed as she felt a strong pair of arms encircle her waist and across her shoulder. They pulled her backwards against Jazz's holoform tightly. Her surprise quickly turned to a gasp as soft lips began to trail fire across the skin of her neck. "Jazz." She said breathlessly. Good grief, he even smelled good.

"Yes?" he said nonchalantly. Ratchet had mentioned how nice it felt to hug an organic, so different yet pleasant, and Jazz could now understand why. There was quite a bit of sensory exchange going on. He had felt her body before, many times, but it wasn't until just now that he realized, truly realized, just how supple she was.

When Jazz put his arms around her, Zoe couldn't help but go all soft and pliable against him. She wanted to melt against him and she thought she might do just that as he began to nip playfully at her neck. His left hand came up under her chin to caress the soft flesh at her throat, even as her head fell back against him. Her eyes fluttered shut and she wondered just where an alien robot had learned to manipulate an organic body so well.

"All My Children." He said, reading her unspoken question. "Optimus watches it regularly. They do a lot of this sort of thing on that program." When she giggled a bit, he nibbled at her again, and it turned into another sharp intake of breath. "You like this huh?" The thumb of his right hand traced a lazy circle along her stomach feeling the muscles beneath her skin tighten reflexively.

With extreme effort, Zoe managed to pull away from him. "You're so bad! We're in the middle of the highway!" She suddenly felt cold with the contact gone. It was still strange to her, their holoforms. Here she was, sitting inside him, but here HE was, sitting beside her. Faintly she wondered how he could see out of two sets of eyes at once, but she shrugged it away. It didn't matter.

She turned to look at him. He was still using the same form as before. Dark swarthy skin, dark hair, well built, and ocean blue eyes. Like Ratchet, he was cute, bordering on gorgeous, and dressed in a light gray shirt with Reebok written down the side and loose fit jeans. She laughed. He would only wear name brand.

He raised an eyebrow at her and she waggled her finger in his face. "No more distractions Jazz. I really want you to see your new surprise and it's still a drive away."

Holo-Jazz raised his hands in surrender. "Alright, alright." The holo-form evaporated in a mist of particles and his voice once again seemed to come from all around her. "Try not to wreck my body and use my horn to wake me up. I'll set my systems to wait for that."

"Oh Jazz…." She leaned forward and kissed the steering wheel. "I wouldn't wreck you…" she glanced away briefly. "…on purpose."

"What?"

"Go to sleep."

Suddenly filled with even more foreboding, Jazz powered down.

Zoe waited a moment then, "Jazz?" When there was no answer, she frowned. It felt weird to have him here and yet not here. She suddenly had misgivings of her own about this whole plan. "No, no, Zoe…he'll love this, you KNOW he will." Herself reassured, she started the engine and prepared to drive away, shifting into first gear.

A horrid grinding noise accompanied the attempt and she quickly put in the clutch in. "Jazz?" She asked loudly, embarrassed and dismayed, and suddenly glad he wasn't actually awake to feel that.

Without Jazz's sensor clusters to scan, Zoe concentrated on the road rather than using her AllSpark-granted gifts of controlling machines and thus, went the speed limit to Phoenix. Using a Swiggle-map she'd downloaded earlier, she quickly found her destination and within that, her target.

She pulled to a stop nearby and got out. Beside him, she put her hands on Jazz's door and used her powers to explore his systems with care. After a moment, she found the function she was looking for, his trans-scanner…and initiated it.

Triumphant, Zoe drove quickly back to Yaki point. On the deserted highway, they hadn't seen another car in almost an hour. Along the side of the road, she quickly unpacked his trunk and then leaned in the window to beep his horn.

Jazz felt his systems flicker on one by one quickly and he noticed the change instantly. Zoe was still there, her upper body inside the driver's side window. "I don't believe it!" He said, shocked.

"You don't like it?" Zoe pretended to pout.

Jazz tipped a bit on his newly scanned struts and caused Zoe to tumble into the seat on her head. "Come on. Ya know me better than that!" There was definitely no hiding the excitement in his voice. "This…is…SWEET! What do you call this? And why didn't you do this earlier?" he laughed.

Zoe picked herself up from his seat and laughed as she regained her own footing. "It's a Porsche. Specifically, it's a Porsche 911 GT3 Cup S…whatever that all means. But…still, Ratch and Hide can't tease you anymore. It's a 350,000 thousand dollar form." She thought about it a moment. "Actually, with the exception of Sunny, you even edge out Hot Rod's Ferrari Fiorano and Sides' Lambo Murceilago, by quite a bit."

Jazz nearly shook with delight. It wasn't so much the price that the humans put on his form, but the form itself. It was sleek, and curved, and its rarity carried with it a certain unique style. If he turned heads before, he'd stop traffic now, and THAT is what pleased him the most.

No, he thought suddenly, what pleased him the most was that Zoe would take the time to find something like this for him. He had never been big on the giving of material items to his partners; sharing of experiences and emotions was always much better. But he couldn't deny he had a certain thing for distinctiveness. And sometimes that did mean material objects, like the clothing, he put on his holo-form, or for the secondary form, he chose for his protoform.

This…was just perfect, even the color. Lighter silver then his Solstice form, almost white, still with the spinner rims she'd given him before. Sharing his mirror with the dampener was a small Porsche Martini logo air-freshener with blue and red stripes and the number 4 written on it.

They were off the side of the road and he suddenly transformed. His body wasn't much different, other than the color and a few aesthetic changes. He picked Zoe up and swung her around with a happy squeal. "I love you." He said all of a sudden quiet, and held her against his chest, over his spark.

She could hear the rhythmic pulsing of his spark, this close, and she put her hands on his warm metal. "I know." She said quietly, contently. "I love you, Jazz."

He paused for a moment and then smiled. It felt good to hear her say that, even though he could clearly feel it through the link they shared. "Ya ready to go camping?" He sat her back on her feet.

"Sure." Zoe said. "Let just repack you up."

Jazz groaned, and transformed again.

An hour, and a quite scary 2500-foot vertical climb later, Zoe and Jazz were on the floor of the Grand Canyon, only a few dozen feet above the Colorado River. The water was slower here, wide, and giant sand banks and rocks lined the edges of the river before giving way to sparse trees and foliage. Zoe had carefully packed the equipment to connect to each other bag, so Jazz had an easier time climbing with the cargo and his passenger.

The high walls blocked the sun and the temperature was noticeably 20 degrees cooler. "Wow." Zoe said, and put on a light parka. "Good thing I brought some wood for a fire."

Jazz had already begun unpacking. He had transformed and his holo-form was digging through the equipment. "What's this?" He held up each item, and Zoe dutifully indentified every one before she set it up or found a home for it. Suddenly Jazz was glad she HAD packed so much. Maybe she would need it, but if it got too cold, she would just sleep inside his cab.

That wasn't such a bad prospect either.

It took nearly three hours to set up camp. The tent would not behave, and Zoe refused to read the instructions. They put the two sleeping bags in the tent, as if Jazz needed one. Artificial logs, guaranteed to burn 8 hours were set up in a fire pit. Extra clothes were in the tent, and Zoe's supply of hot dogs and sugary foods were in a small cooler inside Jazz's cab. Zoe didn't think there were any bears down here, but better to be safe than sorry.

She looked over at Jazz's secondary form and giggled. When holo-Jazz looked up, she clarified. "It's a good thing no one will come this way. How are we going to explain a Porsche racing car at the bottom of this gorge?"

Jazz laughed himself and decided he was glad they were isolated too. Really, how could one answer something like that? Eventually he shut down his holo-form. It took quite a bit of energy to keep it running, and without his berth or direct sunlight, he would recharge a bit slower than normal.

He looked around the area; it was definitely beautiful. The sound of the river was soothing and the rock formations were truly grand. There was nothing like it on Cybertron. The water in the river moved so much differently than the fluid in the Rust Sea. It was softer, reflective, clear, and it didn't turn your insides into a corroded mess.

Even the sky was ablaze in brilliant colors. The setting sun lit the heavens on fire. While Cybertron had an atmosphere, it was far less polluted and not as dense as Earth's own. Sunsets, exceedingly rare during the end of the Golden Age, were never this bright or this vivid. The sun turned the already spectacular reds and gold of the canyon walls into molten metal. He could understand why Prowl enjoyed this thing called Nature so much.

A sound made him look over and he watched Zoe light the fire for a moment. She looked back over at him, firelight dancing across her features; it caused her eyes to sparkle, and Jazz felt his Spark constrict a bit. She was so beautiful, it didn't matter they were so different for one another.

He walked over to the fire and sat down. Immediately Zoe curled up next to him, sharing warmth. She was quiet, looking into the fire, and Jazz smiled. Tomorrow, he promised himself, tomorrow he would find a way to give her back everything she so willingly gave to him.

A rustling sound distracted him and he looked down to watch Zoe load a sharpened stick with a mess of white chemically expanded foam. She put it into the fire and held it there until it caught on fire. Once she removed it, she popped the now-softened, now black, simple food compound into her mouth. She prepared to repeat the ritual and suddenly noticed her audience.

"What?" She said around the mouthful. "Roasting marshmallows is a camping tradition." She pulled out some chocolate and a graham cracker. "S' mores." When he continued to stare at her with a bemused grin, she laughed. "Don't worry big guy, I brought something for you." She got up, came back with a duffle bag, and resumed her seating arrangement.

Jazz adopted a skeptical continence. "I hope it's not more of those mellow marshes. I think they'd get stuck in my intakes."

Zoe affixed him with a reproachful stare. "Why do you always assume the worst from me? I'm going to make you wear pink. I'm going to wreck you. Have I ever done anything NOT cool to you?"

"Well you ground my gears before." He said leaning down towards her.

"You felt that?! You said you were shut-down!"

"Yeah, of course I felt it, Alex wanted you to take him for a …waitanano!…you did it a SECOND time?"

"Err…." She quickly stuffed another marshmallow in her mouth.

He continued to squint down at her and so Zoe raised a bag to him in offering, which he took.

"…no wonder my shoulder is sore…." He mumbled and then peeked into the bag. He immediately brightened up. "Hey! Where did you get these? I haven't had these in like vorns!"

He held up several cubical dark grey crystalline chips. "Galena! What a great snack!" he quickly popped a few into his mouth and crunched them up. "Mmmm…salty."

Zoe retrieved a 5-gallon jerry can, the type usually carried on the backs of off road vehicles for extra gasoline. "Wash it down?"

Opening it, he sniffed at it. "Hey!" his optics widened. "High grade!" he took a small swig. "Where did you get all of this?"

A smile lit her features and she leaned against him again. "Lead sulfide is really common on Earth. Ratchet also taught me how to make hot energon a while back. After that, he taught me a few basics on refining it in different ways, and he helped me make this first batch. Good?"

He took another swig in response to that. It was good. Maybe it was partly due to the fact he hadn't had any in so long that it tasted even better now, or maybe it was because Zoe herself had made it, but he couldn't deny it tasted very good. "Geeze boo," he said quietly. "You shouldn't do so much for me."

She looked up at him, honestly confused. However, she didn't answer right away. The easy answer was that it made her feel good to see him happy. Zoe knew Jazz wasn't used to being the one indulged. He had spent his life doing his best to indulge others, in his own way. To go out of his way for his subordinates, to make his comrades smile, to help those around him forget, even for a microsecond that the world they lived in was almost without hope.

Keeping up a front like that wasn't terribly difficult for Jazz; that was his personality, but he was just as affected by the hopelessness, the despair that seemed to permeate the entire Autobot ranks. He also usually kept it all inside. Unwilling, or unable, to share his innermost feelings with all but a handful of his peers, Zoe had decided from the first time they had joined, that she'd do anything and everything it took to make his life easier. If making him some high grade, or lead sulfide snacks, were all it took, then that would be HER mission.

"Why not Jazz?" She asked and leaned against his leg. "You're my mate, and if I want to make you some galena served with mercury sauce with some high grade…or whatever…I will." It was petulant, but she smiled.

For a moment, Jazz looked down at her, his optics wide, but then he laughed. A stab of guilt passed through him then, he wanted to do something for her too. But, what? First, the rims, then the new form, now high grade, and galena, he knew he was going to end up spoiled. Maybe there was something online he could access about human relationships.

"So," he opted to change the subject. "What all are you supposed to do on these camping trips, besides eat?"

Zoe was quiet a moment. "Um…you know. I don't know." She admitted. "I've never been camping before…while NOT on a mission. But…" she thought it over briefly. "I'm pretty sure you're supposed to cook hot dogs, roast marshmallows, and tell scary stories around the campfire."

Jazz couldn't help but chuckle at her sagely nod. "Ok. Boo. We have a campfire and you have roasted marshmallows. All we need now is a scary story." A soft humming noise came from him then, one that Zoe recognized as Jazz attempting to access long forgotten files. "Well…" he said sheepishly. "I don't know of many. Hmm….There is of course Primus and Unicron…our creator and our destroyer."

"Your gods." It was confusing to Zoe. "I know they are your creators, but I thought you worshiped the AllSpark too."

"Well," Jazz explained. "We do. But the AllSpark is a tool, an artifact, that our creator, Primus, created. Because he put himself into the AllSpark, and the Allspark is a conduit into the Well of AllSparks, a tiny part of him makes up every one of us. He's linked to the Matrix Flame too."

"It is prophesied that he would eventually die, and his herald, The Last Autobot, would hearken the arrival of Unicron, He who destroys." Jazz glanced down at Zoe who was looking at him with a somewhat less-than awe and wonder filled expression and he continued. "It is said that before Unicron was banished, he was able to bury a compulsion in the minds of several mechaniods so that they gathered and formed a cult. This cult has supposedly tried to off Optimus several times as he is the 'leader' of Primus' forces…us."

Zoe remained quiet long after Jazz stopped speaking. Then finally, she put another marshmallow on the fire. "Jazz…that's just not scary."

He looked down at her incredulously. "How is a being that could come down and wipe out all of Cybertron as we know it NOT scary?"

"Ok, boo." She said gently. "That's like saying God himself is going to come down and destroy the Earth."

There was a quick information search and he responded haughtily. "But He already did. Weren't the cities Sodom and Gomorrah destroyed by Him?"

"Yes." She conceded. "But…depending on your view point, and your religion, one may or may not believe the words of the Book it was written in." She shrugged. "Some humans, some entire human races don't believe in the same gods as their neighbors. Some believe in the one God, others believe in multiple gods or different ones. Those that believe differently believe that the Bible is nothing but fantasy, including the stories within it. Unlike you guys, who have one theology…we humans have a dozen or more."

His vents cycled. "Oh…kay." He said. "There is a planet I know of that the radiation crystals cause hallucinations."

It was Zoe's turn to sigh. "Ok Jazzy, you're missing the point…Let me see…" She tapped a finger on her chin briefly. "Let me try, there is a story I know of..."

"Once upon a time, in a time not so long ago, there were sprites. Little sprites of the ancient woods would come to your door. The usual appeasement for these creatures was a bowl of fresh, cool milk, and they would return to their woods happy and content. However, eventually humans began to advance; we built machines and began to ignore, even scorn the wilds. They began to disregard those friendly sprites and destroy their homes. No more milk. No more woods. And those tiny sprites swore upon us, a terrible vengeance."

"They chanted, 'Humans, humans, pay your dues. There are just two paths that you get to choose. Feed us right, or fight and lose. Gremlins everywhere.'" Zoe waved her hands in the firelight dramatically.

"But we didn't care. We cut down the woods. The farmland was spoiled. The Gremlins had nowhere left to turn…but towards the cities and towns, we had created upon their beloved despoiled lands. It was there that they found new homes. A brave new world among the machines that we had created to enrich our lives, they lived. Among the whirling gears, they now call home."

Zoe ran her fingers lightly up Jazz's leg, aiming for sensor clusters and she smiled. "Many years passed, and the Gremlins curse has never been lifted. Maybe you wonder how they survive. Well," She chuckled. "That's easy. They eat. They feed on machines. They love cold iron and steam, and copper and glass and steel. Machines that break are their handiwork. Once they only seemed to plague aircraft and motorcycles, but not now. Now the world is full of machines, IPods, computers, Playsations, microwaves, televisions….Autobots. Daily they run, unseen among the humans, searching out their next feast of rubber and oil, or plastic. Energon wafers heated well is what they'd love to crunch."

Nonchalantly, she popped open a small access port on Jazz's shin, running fingers along the bundles of cables and servomotor actuators. Her tiny fingers caused minute vibrations and he shivered just a bit. "Now that Cybertronians are here," She continued ominously, "the Gremlins have a whole new item on their menu. Energon, mech fluid, transformation cogs…all so very tempting. Like a rare delicacy. The ONLY thing you can do to keep them away, it doesn't matter HOW thick your armor is…in fact, the thicker the better…is to make peace with them."

Jazz's optics were wide. Can that be true? Earth had creatures that actually fed on Cybertronians?! Moreover, there was no physical defense against such a menace? He did not like the sound of that, but he listened in rapt attention for Zoe to continue…which she didn't. He watched her put another marshmallow on the fire and then eat it, as if nothing at all were amiss. "H-how?" he said finally.

Zoe grinned inwardly and continued to act nonchalant. "Oh? Well…there are several rituals. Drop some oil on an incense coil perhaps. Spill some anti-freeze." She paused, thinking. "You've got to make them work for you. Send them to those 'cons, so they can….ah!" Zoe suddenly started with a gasp, as she looked at something behind Jazz.

Jazz's head spun around in the direction that Zoe was looking. His scanner was on, but he detected nothing. Still, something had made her start like that. "What is it boo?" He asked quietly.

"I...I thought I sensed something..." Her voice was strained, almost a whisper, fearful.

He began to scan the area carefully. "What?" His hand came up, cannon deploying. "I don't see anything…" He really didn't. There was nothing but the lingering geo-thermal heat from the rocks, and shadows…empty shadows.

"Hsst! You won't, you can't see them Jazz…they aren't…" The generator roared to life and cut off anything else she wanted to say.

Jazz jumped to his feet, careful to place Zoe behind him, now fully alert. He was still unable to see the tiny monsters, but he was NOT going to let them chew on his spark casing without a fight. He could only hope that he could stall them long enough so that Zoe, being partially mechanical herself, would be able to escape.

Something in him clicked suddenly, and he looked down at Zoe. She looked utterly unafraid. It was not the reaction of someone in the same amount of danger of getting ate by the Gremlins as he was. Something was not right. He searched through their link and found an abundance of what could only be amusement. Ok then…two could play this game.

"Zoe," Jazz said carefully, quietly. "Listen to me…if they come after me, I want you to run, ok?"

"But Jazz…"

"No buts, ok. Just promise me you'll…AAAAGH!" Suddenly Jazz began to spasm, and he tumbled away from Zoe to crash against the ground roughly. He snarled as his hands pulled and yanked at his plating. "Ruh…RUN!" He screamed as he continued to jerk around violently.

Zoe was shocked into immobility as Jazz hit the ground and began to thrash around. She could only stare at him as he began to yank at his plating. Dark blue energon sprayed outwards in a graceful arc, and tiny bits of shrapnel flew in all directions. She ran towards him, but had to back away when arcs of whitish lightning played across his servos. "JAZZ!" Her hands flew over her mouth as she watched, horrified, as her mate began to tear himself apart. "..No Jazz…no!" Tears began to well in her eyes.

Just as suddenly as it started, it abruptly ended and Jazz sat up. Damage and energon fading away, and he looked at Zoe with a smirk. "Scared?"

Zoe's expression went from horror-struck, to confused, to angry all in a nano-click. "I don't think you're very funny!" She spun around away from him, arms crossed.

Jazz held back a laugh, "Aw…we're supposed to be scaring each other right? And I admit, for a moment, ya really did have me going…and…" he crawled forward to put his head around the side of her shoulder, nudging her affectionately. "YOU have to admit…you were scared. Starting up that generator was a good touch though…but I have a holo emitter. "Were ya scared? Huh huh were ya?"

Frowning, Zoe tried her best to remain mad at him, but that tone of voice...there was simply no way and a smile cracked the edges of her mouth. "Yes…boo, I was scared." She turned towards him and kissed him on his cheek, before resuming her place next to the fire. He followed close behind.

For the remainder of the evening Jazz and Zoe shared stories not quite so scary, and simply enjoyed the others company.

Orbital Bouncer - pretty much the same thing as a transporter, except you can only go in one direction...up to the ship. In the IDW comic it killed the humans they bounced.

Swiggle - a play on Google, which is the search engine Bumblebee used in order to find Sam's family in the movie prequel.

Porche Martini with red and blue stripes and the number 4 -- for all you old Gen 1 fans...that was the original form and color of Jazz's secondary form. -sniff- those were the days. :)

Galena - lead sulfide crystals. Naturally occuring on Earth. grayish cubical things and a natural semiconductor. Essential in the early days of radio

High grade - Energon. Of the type to get our Autobots 'over-energized' read: drunk

Hallucinogenic radiation crystals were found on the planet that Kup was stranded on. He resisted attempts as rescue because the hallucinations made him think zombie-bots were attacking him (seriously). In Kups Origins book

The 'story' Zoe knows is actually a filk song performed by Leslie Fish called Gremlins. Its a funny song, and scary mabye if your a robot. :)