Super short ficlet I thought up. Hisagi and Abarai are not in it per say but it still feels like an Awkward story so I thought I would post it here. KazeshinixZabimaru just seem like they would make a good pair. Not a happily ever after pair obviously but a fun, quirky sort of pair.

Kazeshini POV

Kazeshini isn't staring. Chimpette is uncouth, loud, obnoxious. She's got weird hair and sharp teeth and kind of has a rough voice. Sure she has a decent rack (with a beauty mark on her left breast, not that he'd been looking of course,) highlighted by that weird ass furry jump suit she wears dipping down below her navel... yeah, maybe that isn't so bad... Chains are kinda hot too... But what is up with that furry thing anyway? Why green? Who the hell has ever seen a green monkey? At least it matches her eyes. Kazeshini isn't really sure why he knows what colour her eyes are... Maybe because it's a welcome distraction from that horrible rose coloured haircut. Honestly, what's with that?

No trace of a lady in this one. But that's not such a terrible thing, he's never been much into the innocent girls. They always got on his nerves. Sweet, obedient, dutiful, drones without so much as a spark of life or excitement. Almost as bad as the sluts who used their bodies to get their way. He would never understand Hisagi's attraction to that big titted bitch. Fuck, just thinking about it made his blood boil. Hisagi really needed to grow some balls. How could he let that selfish, lazy bimbo wrap him around her little finger. He wasn't even getting any out of it either! What an idiot master he had. He would kick his ass good next time they trained.

Come to think of it, he hadn't seen much of her lately. Thank the gods for that, Haineko was as irritating as her master. He hadn't even seen that gloomy bastard either. What the hell was his name? Fuck, he couldn't remember and he didn't care enough to give it a second thought.

Lately Hisagi had been spending a lot of time with Renji, which has brought him here, staring at the odd pair in front of him. They are bickering again. About what, he had given up trying to figure out long ago. Every time he thinks he understands, they begin a fresh argument about something completely different. Damn, he's glad he is alone, despite Kazeshini's double blades.

"Big butt, big butt!" Snakey yells.

Another argument ensues. Kazeshini is starting to lose his temper. These idiots are so damn loud it's becoming impossible to ignore them.

"Will you two shut the hell up!" He snaps.

They both pause to look at him as though they've only just noticed he is there.

"What's your problem?" Snakey asks.

"My problem is you idiots are making my brain hurt."

"So, don't listen."

"Who the hell could not hear you deafening morons!"

"Don't talk to him like that," Chimpette flares.

"Now you give a fuck?"

"Don't pretend you understand our relationship just because you've been brooding in a corner for the past few days."

"What did you say, woman? You're in my damn house!"

"Renji told us to make nice," Snakey informs.

"Who the hell wants to make nice with you?"

"Well, it sure as hell wasn't our idea," Chimpette snaps.

"How obedient of you," Kazeshini grins evilly.

"Ugh! You... Aaahhhh! If Renji didn't like Hisagi so much I would kick your ass!"

"I'd like to see that," snorts Kazeshini. "Don't think I would go easy on you because you're a woman."

"Who the hell needs you to go easy on me? Don't underestimate me! I'm not some helpless damsel!"

"That much is obvious..."

"What did you say?" Chimpette growls through clenched teeth. *throb throb*

"Who would mistake your big mouth for a damsel?"

Chimpette lets out a infuriated growl and stomps off, muttering under her breath. As she does, her hair swishes around revealing just why Snakey calls her big butt and Kazeshini thinks there is nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with that at all...

Snakey who has been silently watching the interaction, finally pipes up.

"Are you going to pull her hair too?"

Before Kazeshini can answer the chain is yanked and Snakey goes flying after Chimpette.

Thoughts thoroughly appreciated. :)

Ok so I just read this and my tenses were all over the place. I tried to fix it up. Let me know if I missed anything.

And this is probably obvious but the inspiration from this story comes from Sir Mix-a-lot's Baby Got Back. Seems like something Kazeshini would be into even if he would be unwilling to admit it. And he's certainly shown his sweeter side which incorporates Snakey into the mix as well. I think they would be cute. Maybe its just me...