Sweet mother of Merlin, he was amazing. Nothing could possible equal this feeling. It was so filling, so controlling and possessing, so wrong. That was the only way to describe it. Everything about this was so wrong, but it was also so right. In that moment, at that place in time, nothing was more right than this.

Everything leading up to this had started last summer. Rather than spending time at her parents', Hermione had chosen to stay in the wizarding world with the Weasleys. The only bad part about the arrangement was Dumbledore's orders that Harry was to be told nothing. She hated evading the poignant questions her friend directed her, skirting around the truth of everything to keep him in the dark. She didn't understand the reasons and didn't agree, but Dumbledore knew best, of course.

Things around 12 Grimmauld place were not exactly filled with excitement though. They were all left out of everything, being too young and all. The Order was secretive and skirted their questions. Not even the twins could outwit them most of the time. So they were left pretty much on their own. And everyone was gone so much, even Mrs. Weasley. Mr. Weasley and Shacklebolt were hardly ever there and Dumbledore almost never was. Only Sirius was left.

Sirius. The poor man was restless and felt almost useless. He amused himself by spending time with the young people and Buckbeak. Molly had everyone cleaning all the time, and had put him to work just like the five young people. It was a Thursday when everything began, just another insignificant, ordinary day. Well, as ordinary as life at headquarters could be.

That day, Molly had decided to tackle the third floor drawing room and the parlor down the hall. She instructed that she and four of the young people could handle the drawing room and Sirius was to take one person to clean the parlor. Without really thinking about it, Hermione said that she would help him.

"Alright dears, off you go then. Here Sirius, take this with you, in case you find some doxies." She handed him a bottle of spray and he ushered Hermione out of the room.

"Lovely, the parlor." He muttered under his breath. Hermione knew he hated being shut up like this, unable to go out for fear of being seen, and she sympathized.

"Umm… where should we start?"

"Well, first, why is Molly having you all do this the slow way?"

"We're underage Sirius. And we can't exactly go about attracting attention to ourselves by cheating and using magic."

"Oh, right, underage. Bloody hell." He waved his wand with a few words and straightened the room. "Not like we're going to use it anyway." He got rid of the dust and made sure nothing questionable was lurking about."

"Um, should I go help Mrs. Weasley then?"

"No." Sirius waved one hand in her direction, looking through an aged liquor cabinet. "Here, sit down, we'll talk." Hermione knew he was really in one of his strange moods. Sirius never wanted to just talk with anyone, except Remus occasionally.

"Ok."

"I'm not going to bite you Hermione. Just sit." He saw the questioning look on her face. "So, tell me about Hogwarts." He stared into the bottle of cognac he was now holding.

"I love it there. It's home, you know?" He nodded.

"I know very well. Hogwarts was the first place that felt like home for me. James' place was the second." After mentioning his dead friend, he swigged from the bottle and gave a satisfied 'ah'. "Anything else?"

"Well, it challenges my mind, and I like that. All of my friends are there. It holds so much history and so much life."

"That's very true. Harry tells me you're the brightest witch of this age."

"I don't know about that. I just work very hard is all. Anyone could do as well."

"Don't downplay your talents Hermione. Hermione, where did that name come from?"

"My mother chose it, it means pillar queen. I think it's Greek."

"A goddess?"

"No, just an ordinary name that most people get wrong."

"Then it's not ordinary."

"Your name isn't ordinary."

"No. My father chose it, never really cared. We didn't talk much."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. The old bastard is long dead, along with my mother. They were pureblood snobs and I never could say I loved them. They gave me nothing to love and I was not loved in return. I was much better off after I ran away and lived with James. He was a good man. Harry is a lot like him, except he seems to have his mother's sense."

"Yes, sometimes."

"Sometimes? You really are a prude Hermione."

Hermione's temper flared. "I am not a prude!"

Sirius snorted. "It's okay Hermione. Someone has to be, it's not all a bad thing."

"What makes me a prude?"

"You have no sense of adventure for one, just breaking rules to have fun. And I bet you've never kissed a boy either."

"I most certainly do not break rules just for fun, that's not prudish it's responsible. And… that's none of your business."

"Oh ho! So it's true. Virgin lips."

"I'm sixteen, there is nothing wrong with that."

"Sweet sixteen, never been kissed. When do you turn seventeen Hermione?"

"September."

"Oh, two months. Will you have your first kiss by then? You can't pass your sixteenth year without a kiss."

"Well, I certainly do not plan on kissing anyone just for the sake of saying I have."

"Never? Not once?"

"I am not loose, Sirius." She turned away from him.

Sirius walked over to where she stood, looking out the window. He came up behind her quietly and stood very close. "Why do you have to be loose to kiss? One innocent kiss Hermione. But no, I bet you're afraid."

"I am not…" She whirled around with a growl, stopping when she found herself looking into his muscled chest, obvious beneath his partially unbuttoned shirt. "afraid." She whispered the last part as her eyes traveled to meet his.

"No?" He stepped even closer, just barely brushing against her. "Not even a little bit?"

"Um, no."

"One innocent little kiss?" He gazed down into her eyes and all she could do was nod. His gaze moved to her lips, slightly parted and moist. Instinctively, she tilted her head so he could just lean down and kiss her easily.

"Maybe you should be." He murmured. He tasted of cognac and tobacco. Hermione was unsure, but followed his lead. She stood still at first, then kissed him back. His lips were insistent and experienced, hers soft and unsure. His tongue flicked over her lips and she opened them, giving him full access to her mouth. They tasted and explored each other and it was not the innocent kiss he had teased her about. Somewhere along the way, her arms wrapped around his neck and his went about her waist, pulling her closer. After an indeterminable amount of time, he pulled back, setting her down off of her tip toes.

"Oh Merlin Hermione."

"Sirius." She breathed into his neck, breathless and awed.

"I shouldn't, I'm sorry, god."

"No. Don't ruin this, it was my first kiss."

"I stole it. It should have gone to someone you like, a young boy."

"I like you. And young boys are trying, you know."

"Still, I… bloody hell."

"You're a very good kisser Sirius."

"Not bad for your first time. You sure you've never been kissed before?"

"Quite sure." She looked up into his smoky eyes. "I liked that."

"I never should have," But she cut him off by kissing him again. He pulled her tight and close, relishing the feel of her soft body against his own hard one. Supple, small breasts crushed against his chest, curvy hips pressed into his own, a healthy flesh that was warm and so inviting. She smelled of roses and soap; her shampoo was the only scent she wore. It was heady and intoxicating.

He was hard and powerful. Hermione melted into him, molding her body to his. The raw strength behind his crushing kisses captured her and enthralled her. She could feel his manhood pressing against her and ground into it. The feel of his lips against hers was consuming. Every plane of his male body, every muscle, every sinewy limb fired her. Such wonderful fire.

"Stop. Hermione, sweet Merlin." Sirius roughly pulled away from her and set her back, still keeping his hands on her hips. Her hands slid to rest upon his shoulders as he looked down at her. She looked properly kissed. Her hair that she had carefully tamed was coming loose and it was an adorable halo about her face. Her soft pink lips were swollen and pouted.

"I'm much too old for this, for you."

"I don't think so."

"No, I am."

"Well, it certainly doesn't feel like it." Sirius had to look away from her, so he looked at the clock, enchanted to always be correct.

"We should go, Molly will wonder where we are, come looking."

"She knows where we are."

"That's what I'm afraid of." Comprehension dawned in Hermione's eyes. She smoothed her hair and grabbed the few supplies they had brought with them. Sirius capped the forgotten bottle of cognac and they left the room. Everyone else was just leaving the drawing room when they emerged.

"Oh good." Molly said. "Time for lunch."

That was where it started, but certainly not where it ended. She was like a drug he couldn't get enough of. He was the discovery of a new world for her, and she couldn't stop exploring. Afternoons he would disappear to Buckbeak's room and Hermione would claim to be in one of the several large libraries. She would go to him and he would kiss her senseless, breathless, and endlessly. Her hands would rove over his body, exploring every part of him and he would do the same to her. But it never went farther than that.

At meals they would somehow always sit next to each other or across from each other. The first time her small foot rubbed his ankle he jumped, startling everyone and making her laugh. Pretending to reach for the potatoes across her, Sirius had rubbed his hand across her thigh. As the summer came to a close, he grew quiet and distant, but he kissed her more fervently. Her last day there, she left her bed in the quiet hours of night and went to him.

"Sirius?"

"Hermione! What are you doing?"

"I had to come and see you."

"What if someone sees you?"

"I'll be careful, I'll make up a story. Don't worry about it. Just, I need you." Sirius let her climb into the bed. She ran her small hand across his bare chest. "I don't want to leave."

"You have to."

"I know." She sighed, then lifted her head off his shoulder to look at him. "I'll miss you."

"Don't miss an old man Hermione, find some young fella to fill your head with."

"You aren't old! Will you please stop saying that?"

"Sorry, older. You really shouldn't be here."

"I really need to be." He kissed his ear, nibbling lightly on the lobe. She suckled his neck in a sensitive spot, soliciting a moan of pleasure.

"Hermione, this is dangerous."

"Life is dangerous." She pressed into him and he could feel every bit of her through her short, filmy, silk night dress. Her leg rubbed against his, her knee arching so that she was half on him. With a growl of frustration, Sirius grabbed her and rolled her underneath him. She smiled seductively at him, daring him, teasing him. He bent his head slowly, holding her arms down at her sides.

"Danger could be fun." She whispered right before his mouth claimed hers.

He moved from her mouth to her neck, which she tilted to give him better access. He let her arms go as he ran his hands down her sides, straddling her. Her fingers tangled in his hair, he kissed her neck all the way to her shoulder and to her chest. She sucked in a quick breath when his mouth settled over one nipple. Slowly he suckled her, wetting the silk that hid her skin. Flicking it with his tongue one last time, he moved to the other. They peaked and hardened, aching under his touch. Fire built between her legs and she moaned in pleasure. Her soft cries made him hard as he kissed her breast, then worked his way down her stomach to the sensitive spot between her legs.

Lifting her hips, Sirius pulled off the lacy knickers she wore and tossed them aside. Then he removed her night dress, running his hands over her as he lifted it over her head. When she lay naked beneath him, he lifted her legs onto his shoulders and kissed her thighs. Hermione gripped the sheets and moaned louder with each touch of his lips. Cruelly slow, he kissed his way to the softly curling brown hair that hid her soft sex.

Hermione's hips bucked when his lips settled over the soft, sensitive mound. He sucked and licked her into sweet oblivion. She had never felt anything so sweet, so full, as the waves of pleasure that rocked her petite body. He gave her a catlike grin, then stood. She watched him as he removed his pajamas and then his underwear. His manhood stood erect and swollen, waiting for her.

"Are you sure, Hermione?" She smiled, and held her hands out him in affirmation. He settled over her again, letting her touch him

Her tentative, feather light touch was tantalizing. Knowing he couldn't hold against her ministrations much longer, Sirius settled himself between her legs. Bending to kiss her, he slowly entered her, pushing through her virginity and feeling her moment of pain. Slowly, he began to thrust in and out of her, gently rubbing her with his body. She clung to him, crying with the pleasure. As they approached the peak together, she cried out his name. Then plunged once more into pure bliss.

Sirius collapsed next to her, cradling her. "I'm sorry Hermione. Did I hurt you?"

"Merlin, that was amazing." He laughed into her sweet smelling hair.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it."

"Very much. Can you…?" She stopped, but Sirius understood her request. Holding her close, he continued to let his hands roam over her body, playing with her and tickling her gently. When morning peeked through the window, he was not ready to let her go.

"I have to go back to school."

"Yes."

"I can come for Christmas."

"Yes."

"I love you Sirius."

"Yes."

"Goodbye."

"Goodbye, sweet Hermione."

The months ahead for her were long and hard. She cried in her sleep for him, missing the man she had lost her heart to. Sirius regretted what had happened, and yet could not bring himself to feel sorry. She was the first woman to make him feel like that in twenty years. When he flooed Harry, he searched for her face behind and was sorry when he could not see her. He was touched by her concern when he did hear from her.

The hardest part of it all was hiding everything from her roommates and her friends. Lavendar and Parvati could not help but notice her actions. Her furtive reading and re-reading of his letters, smiling and biting her nails as she scanned the lines. The smiles that would inexplicably appear on her lips, the light laughs when to no one else found something funny, and the obvious skirting of the subject. Ginny watched her closely, looking for any sign of who might have taken hold of Hermione's heart, but no one seemed to hold her gaze for more than a moment. Hermione had disappeared one evening, off to the owlery to send a letter, when her three friends first discussed it.

"I just don't get it." Said Harry. "I'm glad she's happy, but she's so secretive. Why can't she tell us?"

"It's ludicrous, it is. Hiding something like this from her friends." Ron pouted.

"Don't be silly Ron, this is very personal. When she is ready to share, she will." Admonished Ginny, though she was as curious as her older brother.

"Maybe it's someone she shouldn't be seeing." Suggested Harry.

Ginny frowned. "I don't think Hermione is that irresponsible. She's the most level-headed person you'll find almost anywhere. I'm sure she just isn't comfortable enough to be public about it yet."

"It's not as if everyone doesn't already know." Complained Ron. "She's positively glowing all the time, and she hordes those letters like their all the gold in Gringotts."

"Do you suppose it's someone we know?" Wondered Harry.

"I would guess so." Said Ginny. We know pretty much all the same people, and no muggle would be owling here to Hogwarts. Not telling muggles is like the number one rule of the wizarding rule, Hermione loves rules, she'd never break one."

"I thought love was different." Said Ron. "I mean, even she would forgo that rule if she really loved someone."

"I still think it's a wizard."

"Fine. But we still don't know who it is."

"I guess she'll tell us when she's ready." Sighed Harry. They dropped the subject as Hermione came back through the portrait hole. She had just owled Sirius, telling him about the Christmas decorations going up and lamenting the skiing trip her parents had planned that would keep them apart.

But Harry had a terrible dream that night. Not a dream, but a vision. With no explanation, all of the Weasleys and Harry were shipped off to London. Mr. Weasley was in St. Mungo's with serious injuries and Hermione found her chance. Telling her parents she wanted to stay in the wizarding world for Christmas was much easier than she expected, she merely told them a dear friend's father was hurt and she wanted to be with them. While that was true, Sirius was the driving force behind her desire. A deep and burning desire.

It was the news that she was coming back to him for Christmas that lifted Sirius' spirits. When she stepped through the front door, he was the only one home, everyone else had gone to the hospital to see Arthur Weasley.

"Hermione!" Sirius threw his arms about her. Her mouth found his and he kissed her deeply.

"Hello Sirius. God, I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you too." She looked around the empty house. "Where is everyone?"

"Well, counting on their strict schedules, I'd say gone until dinner."

She shot him a coy smile. "Sounds wonderful." It was wonderful, every breathless climax. They had two wonderful hours together before they heard his mother's portrait screaming. She threw on her clothes, scourgified them, and they headed downstairs. The Weasley family and Harry greeted them with smiles and tears.

It was a very happy Christmas. Hermione snuck into Sirius' room every night, sometimes they made love, others they just lay in each other's arms. It was wonderful. Her last night there, their love was fervent and fiery. They were desperate for each moment together. They knew they wouldn't see each other again until after school was out in six months. She cried into his shoulder as dawn approached, knowing she soon must leave.

"Don't worry Hermione. When this is all over, we can be together forever."

"Forever?"

"I promise. We'll get a nice place on the ocean somewhere and just live the two of us. It won't matter what anyone else thinks, and once they see how in love we are, I'm sure they'll be happy for us. They have to be."

"Do you think so Sirius?"

"Yes, I do. I do. I'll always love you."

Sadly, it was not to be. Hermione continued to send him secret letters, telling him all about the D.A. activity and all the horrible things Umbridge did. She regaled him with tales of school life. And she always finished, "Loving you always, your darling Hermione." But then Harry had his horrible dream, in which he saw Sirius being tortured by Voldemort. The raced to London, a fight ensued, and Sirius was gone.

Hermione was knocked out and did not see what happened. She woke in a hospital bed and Tonks told her what had happened. Trying not to give away how she really felt, she turned away and pretended to sleep. Life went on without her. Everything had changed. But dear old Dumbledore knew everything.

"Miss Granger, I am very sorry." Everyone else was in class but she was still in the hospital wing. Dumbledore sat upon the edge of her bed with a letter in his hand.

"What?"

"I know how you loved him. You may find I notice more than most do. I was in Sirius' room the other day, and I found this." He held out the letter with her name on the front. "I believe he meant to send it the day everything happened. I am sorry that it did not work out, you would have given him true happiness. My advice is to remember him always, but to find someone new to love, sometime in the future.

"Thank you Professor." He nodded and left. Hermione held the letter in a trembling hand, tears forming in her eyes.

My dearest most darling Hermione,

I miss you love, more with each passing day. But I am encouraged that soon you will be done with school for the summer and then I may see you again. How I wish I were there with you now. I do not deserve you Hermione, but the dark days we live in make me so glad that I have you. I am afraid, I admit, of what my happen. I don't even want to lose you, whether by some cruel trick of fate, or the cruel hand of You-Know-Who. You are so young and delicate, I'm afraid this battle will hurt you, yet you are so strong. Stronger than I. Should anything ever happen to me, I pray you will find that young fella to love. He could never love you like I do, but hopefully he loves you just as much. But I am being pessimisstic. We'll have that little cottage on the sea and we'll spend forever in each other's arms. I love you Hermione. For forever.

Love always,

Sirius

She cried tears she had been hiding, tears she didn't know she had. She wept until she finally fell asleep. Madame Pomfrey saw the letter in her hand, did not know who it was from or what it entailed, but she kept everyone out that day. She let Hermione mourn in peace. When Hermione finally was well and got up, she held her head high, whispered 'I love you', and vowed to make him proud.

Hermione found that love. Ron Weasley. He didn't love her like Sirius did, but he did love her just as much. And she found that her heart was big enough to hold him too. She never named a child after him, but James Sirius was secretly her favorite nephew.