A/N: Uhhh...yeah. I didn't mean to go that long without updating. Sorry. I hope there are still some of you out there willing to stick with this story. I promise I'll finish it. I don't walk away from my stories, especially not stories that I've put a lot of time and energy into!

Okay, so now that that's out of the way, please check out my profile for a link to a mix I made specifically to go with this chapter for Bella's POV. I did this for the last chapter for Edward's POV, so that mix is still available as well. I hope you enjoy them!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. There's a lot of emo in this chapter. You have been forewarned. Also, I don't have a beta for this chapter so all the errors are completely my fault. I apologize for them.

BPOV

Text from: Bella

To: Edward

10/18/90 8:00 am

Are you okay?

Text from: Bella

To: Edward

10/18/09 12:02 pm

Please let me know if you're okay.

Text from: Bella

To: Edward

10/19/09 17:38 pm

I'm really starting to worry.

Missed call from: Bella 10/20/09

12:11 am

New Message

"Um...hey. I just wanted to call because I haven't heard from you and I'm worried, so could you please just call me and let me know if you're okay? Please?"

Text from: Bella

To: Edward

10/22/09 11:17 am

Edward, I'm really worried about you. PLEASE call me!

Missed call from: Bella 10/23/09

7:09 am

New Message

"Shi...uh, hi Edward. It's me. I mean, it's Bella...

Um...I guess you must be busy or whatever. I really need to talk to you...

Okay, um, well I guess that's it for now. Just please call me, okay? I just need to hear from you."

I didn't see or hear from Edward for nearly a week. I knew he had some things he needed to do, but I still had a hard time believing that he couldn't pick up the phone and call me, or text me at the very least.

I wanted to go to his house, or maybe call Rosalie and see if she'd tell me anything, but the thought that Edward obviously didn't want to see me kept me from doing either of those things.

...But if he wouldn't respond to me, how was I supposed to make sure he was okay?

I waited, but he didn't show up for school. The radio station called me to let me know that unless I wanted to do the show by myself, it would go to reruns for a couple weeks because Edward was apparently "sick." Obviously I wasn't prepared to do the whole show by myself, so I told them to go ahead with recordings of previous shows.

When I went to Professor Allan's office hours, I told him I didn't know what was going on with Edward. I half hoped to hear anything about Edward, even if it was from the professor, but Allan didn't know much more than I did at this point. He did, however, tell me that he would try to contact Edward and see if he could get an answer about the final project.

I thanked him and drove home, hoping today would bring me some word from Edward about what was going through his head. I didn't want things to end like this, but what choice did I have? I couldn't exactly stalk him if I had any hope for our relationship.

I got an email from the professor the next day telling me that Edward had decided to drop the class. With that in mind, he told me he would take a shortened essay in lieu of the remainder of our project. While I was slightly relieved about my final grade not being affected by Edward's sudden disappearance, I was even more concerned about him at this point. It wasn't like him to drop out of the class, let alone desert his radio show.

Though I'd promised myself not to contact him again until he got in touch with me, I decided to send him an email informing him that I would be coming by Emmett's house tomorrow to talk to him.

I just hoped he'd actually be there, or else I'd feel like a big idiot when I showed up.

The next day, I pulled up in front of Rosalie and Emmett's house. Edward's car was the only one in the driveway, so I braced myself and walked to the front door. My stomach was in knots, and my palms were sweaty. I tried to calm my racing heart as I knocked on the door, but nothing could have prepared me for Edward answering the door.

His eyes were bloodshot and his cheek was creased from sleeping on wrinkled sheets. His hair stuck up in places and lay flat against his head on others. He had a few days' worth of stubble and all he wore was a rumpled pair of cargo shorts.

He didn't look very happy at all. In fact, he looked downright miserable.

"Edward?" I said, almost as if I wasn't sure it could be him. I actually found myself hoping he had a twin brother who dropped out of his classes for him and slept all day.

"Hey," he rasped. His voice sounded rusty from misuse. Maybe he was sick?

"Are you okay?" I asked, obviously concerned.

He brushed a hand through his messy bedhead and sighed. "Yeah, sure. Why are you here?"

His question was like a knife in my gut. I barely resisted the urge to flinch. "Um, I wanted to check on you. Professor Allan said you dropped the class and I haven't heard from you since, well..." I trailed off, not really sure what else to say.

Edward looked really uncomfortable. "Listen, about that...um, well..."

I stepped closer to him. He moved back reflexively, and I took the opportunity to move to his side so we weren't having this awkward conversation with me standing on the front porch. If he was going to break up with me, I wanted to preserve my dignity as much as possible.

He turned and walked into the kitchen. I followed close behind, hoping he'd say something and save me from his tense silence. He leaned against the kitchen counter and looked at the ground in front of his bare feet. I wanted to go to him, but everything in his body language explicitly warned me to stay away.

Finally, he spoke. "I told Allan yesterday that I wasn't able to finish the class. I'll have to go back next semester."

I waited, but that's all he said. "...And what about us?" I pushed.

He turned his head and stared into the empty living room. "I can't do this, Bella. I just-the other night was too much. I wasn't myself. I hurt you."

My entire body stiffened and I felt my heart drop to my feet. "What do you mean, you can't do this? Like, you can't right now, or you can't ever?"

I watched him chew his bottom lip and wished he'd just fucking look at me, but he kept his eyes carefully glued to a blank wall. "I don't know," he mumbled.

His words crushed me. "I can't...I can't believe you're doing this," I said. I felt my hands and face begin to tremble and knew that I'd have to get out of there fast if I didn't want him to see me cry.

Finally, he looked at me, but his eyes proved that he wasn't fully present. He looked so distant, as if he wasn't even in the same room with me. "I'm sorry," he said.

I slapped a hand over my mouth to stop the choked-off sob that almost escaped and swung around. The front door seemed so far away, but I ran anyway. I didn't even bother to say anything. What else was there left to say? I hoped he would follow me, that he'd come to his senses and let me in wherever he was hiding himself. I lost that hope when I reached my truck and turned back to see the front door open and dark, as if I'd broken into an empty home.

The last few weeks of the semester ended with minimal fuss. I was relieved when it was over. After I finished my last final, I collapsed in my bed and moped around listening to Tegan and Sara for the better part of a week. My dad, never one for awkward emotional encounters, left me to myself for the most part. He showed his support by leaving meals at my bedroom door.

I avoided calls from Leah and Emily because I wasn't quite ready to admit that Edward and I were no longer together. Or rather, that Edward had dumped my ass like a bag of trash.

The longer I stayed in bed, the more miserable I felt about it. I knew I loved Edward, but he obviously didn't feel the same way. I just didn't really know how to handle myself now, because I'd never been in love before.

My reprieve lasted seven days. On Sunday morning, Leah and Emily marched up the stairs and pounded on my bedroom door until I dragged my smelly ass out of bed and answered them with a "What the fuck do you want?"

Well, nobody said I had to be gracious.

"Woman, you'd better have a damn good excuse for acting like a whiny emo fuck for the past week," Leah said without preamble as she barged into my bedroom.

I ignored her in favor of sniffing my armpits and cringing. Okay, so showering was necessary. A priority, in fact. I started pulling clean clothes and underwear from my dresser.

Emily came up behind me and wrapped her arms around my waist. She hugged me close. "What happened, stinky ass?"

I couldn't help myself; I leaned back into her and laughed. "Nothing a week of moping the fuck out and a couple of demanding bitches can't fix," I replied.

Leah plopped down on my bed and promptly stood back up. "Bella, your sheets smell like a small animal died in them. Get your ass in the shower and take the Clorox with you while you're at it. I'm gonna do you a favor and burn these. Jesus."

I rolled my eyes and gathered my clean clothes. "Fine," I said.

The shower revived me and I spent a good ten minutes scrubbing the stink from my body. When I returned to my bedroom, I smelled like ginger orange bodywash and minty fresh toothpaste. Not a stink molecule in sight.

Leah had my bed made up with fresh sheets and Emily had three mugs of hot cocoa sitting on my dresser. I grabbed one and sat on my bedroom floor. "You guys are the best."

"We know," Leah said. "So what happened? I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume it has something to do with Tony."

I sighed and sipped from my mug. "Yeah. He broke up with me." I thought I'd been doing better, but just saying the words made me instantly tear up. I felt the familiar burning in my throat and tried to stop myself, but I just couldn't.

Emily left her perch on the bed to hug me against her side. Leah stood up and started pacing. "Why the fuck did he do a stupid thing like that?" she asked in outrage.

Trust Leah to go all mama bear on the situation. I wiped my eyes on the back of my fist and bit my trembling lip. "I don't really know. Some shit went down a few weeks ago and he just disappeared on me."

Emily sat up and stared at me. "He broke up with you weeks ago and you never told us?" she asked incredulously.

Leah was biting her nails and glaring off into the distance. I knew that wherever Edward was right now, his balls probably inexplicably shriveled up inside his body in self-defense. "Um, yeah. Like a couple weeks before the end of the semester. I was too busy to be all depressed and shit," I said defensively.

Emily wrapped her arms around me again and looked up at Leah. "This sucks," she said.

Leah huffed and crouched down to gather me in, ignoring Emily. "You want I should break his kneecaps?" she asked gently.

I gave a watery laugh and pulled away. "No thanks. I think I'll just pretend he doesn't exist and get on with my life."

They sat on the floor with me for a while until our butts started to get sore. Leah finally stood up and brushed off her jeans. "Come on, we're gonna go get tattoos. Well, you guys are. I'm just gonna watch."

I stood up and raised an eyebrow. "Why aren't you gonna get one?"

She tossed her hair behind her shoulder and rolled her eyes at me in remembered irritation for my absence. "Well, you would have known already if you hadn't been ignoring us for a month, you brat."

I looked at Emily and then back at Leah. "What?" I asked dumbly.

Emily smiled and Leah huffed. "I'm knocked up again," she announced.

"Holy shit! That's...is that good?" I asked in amazement.

Emily laughed and Leah beamed. "Yep, Jake's in proud daddy mode. I didn't want to tell you over the phone."

I hugged her and we talked about the baby while we went downstairs and I left my dad a note. Emily drove us to the tattoo shop.

A few days later, I was in a much better mood. Everyone was really excited about Leah's pregnancy, and their enthusiasm cheered me up. She was only a few months along, but we went shopping for minor baby stuff anyway. Even my dad was in a good mood about it, but that made some sense considering the fact that he was so close to Ezra.

I had just returned home from Jake and Leah's house when my phone rang. I didn't recognize the number, but I answered anyway. "Hello?"

"Bella?" the caller asked.

"Um, yes?" I said. "I'm sorry, who is this?"

"It's Alice," she replied awkwardly.

Why was Alice of all people calling me? My brow crinkled in confusion but I decided to see what she wanted anyway. "Oh, um, hi. What's up?" I asked.

She sighed. "So I know this is weird, but...well, do you still care about Edward?"

Okay, this was weird. "Yes?" It wasn't a question. I still loved Edward.

She took a deep breath. "I'm worried about him. We all are. He's been a mess ever since Esme's miscarriage. I don't know why he's taking it so hard, but my guess is that there's something more going on. We've all tried to talk to him, but he just gets more distant every time we try."

This wasn't good news at all, but..."That sounds awful, but what do you think I can do?" I asked. "I tried, but he...he broke up with me. I don't think he wants me around," I said.

There was a short silence on the other end of the phone. "Listen, I know we didn't get off to a very good start. I was a total bitch to you, and I'm sorry. I didn't think you'd be good for Edward, but I know differently now. He still has a picture of you on his computer desktop. Emmett and Jasper caught him staring at it the other day. I don't know why he'd break up with you, but I thought maybe it was a sign that you could be the one to get through to him," she said.

I was totally shocked by her apology and this new bit of information about the picture. "He was? That's- nevermind. Whatever. I don't get it. He dumped me."

"Maybe he regrets it. That could be why he's such a mess. Would you take him back if he asked?" she said.

I considered this for all of a minute. "Yes, but I don't know if that's the problem."

She grumbled in frustration, but I could tell it wasn't aimed at me. "He went camping. He left yesterday. Jasper and Emmett know where he went, but they wouldn't tell me or Rose. Maybe they'd tell you?" she asked hopefully.

I considered how much of a creeper this would make me if I were to stalk Edward to wherever he was camping. Somehow, Alice's concern was enough to convince me that it would be worth it. "Okay, I'll try," I said wearily. "But I can't make any promises." After all, if he wasn't willing to let his best friends in, what could I expect to gain from chasing him down?

"Thank you so much, Bella. Please let me know if I can help you," she said with relief.

We hung up after she gave me Emmett's phone number and I braced myself for yet more rejection as I dialed it.

After a quick and surprisingly painless conversation, I had the directions to Edward's campground and a feeble plan to go find him. Thankfully, we were still on break from school and I had no real plans, so I was able to leave on short notice.

I packed a small bag and a cooler full of food and called my dad at work. He was obviously worried about me and thought I might be crazy, but he didn't dare say as much. He told me to be safe and I told him I'd call him as soon as I could, and that was that.

I called the girls and let them know I would be gone for a day or two, and hit up Google maps for some better directions to the campgrounds. Edward was crazy to be camping in the winter, but I knew I was even crazier for going on this fool's errand.

Nevertheless, my truck and I drove the hour to the Olympic National Park. I stopped at the visitor's office where campers had to register and made up some fantastic lie about how I was supposed to meet my boyfriend but I couldn't get ahold of him on the phone and I'd lost his directions to the campsite. Luckily the lady behind the counter was either naive or could tell I wasn't about to murder anyone, because she told me where I could find Mr. Edward Cullen. I thanked her and hurried back to my car, hoping to reach him before nightfall.

Once I got to the North Fork campground, it thankfully didn't take long to spot Edward's mud-splattered Volvo parked next to a small tent. The flap was open, so I figured he must be inside. Suddenly nervous again, I parked and approached cautiously.

"Edward?" I called out.

Edward's head popped out of the tent and he spotted me right away. "Bella? What...why are you here?" he asked in surprise.

I pushed my hair out of my eyes and looked around guiltily. "Um, Alice told me I should come talk to you," I said lamely.

He looked even more surprised by that. "But...why?"

I shrugged. "I dunno, she thought it was a good idea, I guess."

I stood there awkwardly as he stared at me as if trying to figure out why one of his best friends would tell his ex-girlfriend that she never even liked in the first place where to find him. "So..." he said eventually.

I sighed and drew a circle in the dirt with my toe. "So," I echoed.

We were quiet. It was ridiculously awful. I was about to turn around and drive right back to Forks. Fuck this.

"I'm sorry you drove all the way out here," he said finally.

For some reason, that pissed me off. My head snapped up and I glared at him. "So, what? You're not even gonna talk to me? I came here because your friends are worried about you, Edward. I'm fucking worried about you! Why are you just pushing everyone away?" I accused. I didn't even care if my voice was loud enough to disturb the neighboring campers.

Edward looked irritated. "I didn't ask you to come save me, okay? I'm a grown man, Bella. I can take care of myself. I don't know why Alice dragged you into this, but I'm sorry. I can't be what you want," he replied in frustration.

I stood, shocked. "I didn't come up here to save you. I came up here to see what the fuck your problem is and snap you out of it. I don't know where you get off assuming to know what I want, so why don't you enlighten me?" I shot back.

He looked away to glare off into the distance. "I can't imagine you want to be with a guy who's as messed up as I am," he said in a defeated tone.

My back stiffened and my heart thudded in my chest. "What do you mean?" I asked.

He got out of the tent and walked to a nearby picnic table. I followed him and sat down across from him. "I took it out on you that night. I was rough with you, and it made me feel like an asshole. I've been a mess inside ever since my mom died, and my relationship with my dad keeps getting worse. After Esme's miscarriage, my dad showed up to the hospital and we had a big fight. Things got really ugly. I felt like I used you," he said, his voice ringing with self-disgust.

I reached out my hand to touch his. "I know your mom's death really messed up your relationship with your dad, but I think...I think you still love him, and that's why you did everything you did to make him happy. As for that night, you didn't hurt me. And I wanted to be there for you. It was what you needed, and I wanted to give that to you."

He looked up at me with grief in his eyes. "But I was so..."

I smirked. "Hot? Do you not remember how things went down? Because all I remember is you being totally wild and sexy. Trust me, I enjoyed myself. The point is, you don't see yourself clearly. Everyone around you who loves you can see that you're hurting, and we want to help you."

He gripped my hand and looked up at me. "What did you say?"

I froze. "Which part?" I asked.

"You said...you said you love me?" he clarified.

I got shifty-eyed. "Um, yeah..." I hedged.

He pulled my hand across the table and wrapped both of his around it. "I didn't think that was possible," he said in amazement.

I frowned. "Well, I do. I'm in love with you, even though you had to be stupid and break up with me. And now you're out here pouting and avoiding everyone like a big baby and-What?" I asked, wondering how he could go from looking so glum to smiling like a jackass. "You'd better not be laughing at me," I warned.

He stood up and crossed to where I sat. When he tugged on my arm, I rose and he pulled me into his arms. I was in shock. "I promise I'm not laughing at you. I think you're probably crazy for loving me, but...I love you too, Bella."

That's when he kissed me, and it was awesome, but I was still confused. When he pulled away, I looked up at him and sighed. "I love you because you may have a shitload of issues, but you're an amazing person. And you're hot. That being said, I want to know what you plan on doing about those issues now that we're all lovey-dovey and shit."

He laughed. "I don't know. Give me a little bit of time to think about it, okay?"

I shrugged. "Okay, but I think you should at least move back home. I bet your dad's pretty messed up after Esme's miscarriage. It'd probably be comforting for him if you moved back."

He froze for a moment and scowled. "I'll consider it."

"Good," I said.

"Good," he echoed.

We spent the majority of the evening making out, but we did take a break to roast some Smart Dogs and make some vegan s'mores. Unfortunately, the stupid vegan marshmallows were too stubborn to get soft and melty inside, but that didn't deter us from eating enough to get stomach aches.

When we drove back the next day, we went to Emmett's house and I helped him pack up his stuff. Emmett and Rosalie were really happy to see him, and Rose cried a little bit when she hugged me and whispered, "Thank you."

I hugged her back and told her to thank Alice, not me, but she just ignored me and cooked a huge dinner for us to eat. After that, I told Edward I'd see him later and drove home with a smile on my face.

Things were definitely looking up.

CPOV

The doorbell rang. I couldn't guess who it would be at this time of night, since Esme was already curled up next to me on the couch with her head in my lap, but I got up anyway. She barely stirred as I went to see who it was.

When I opened the door, I was shocked to see Edward standing there with a box in his hands. "Hey, Dad. I'm home."

I opened the door wider to let him in.