AN: Written for the Battle of the Sexes Challenge at NFA. Just a few quick notes about Laser Tag. In America it is usually played in some type of arena area; with one or more floors. You wear a vest and carry a weapon. You shoot your oponents vests which disables their weapon for a few seconds. You can play to win for points and/or a capture the flag type game (in which you have to shoot the opposing base target). Hope that helps for those unfamiliar. Now on with the story. Enjoy!

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"You can't be serious?" Gibbs was being pulled by the arm towards the entrance and watched as the others followed reluctantly. The hand pulling him belonged to none other than Abby Scuito.

"You said you'd do anything I wanted for my birthday didn't you?"

Gibbs nodded. "Yeah, but I meant an expensive restaurant, not laser tag."

She pointed at him. "You said anything…"

Tony agreed. "You did say anything boss. I was there." He was met with a head slap and took in a breath. "Then again my hearing isn't what it used to be…"

Abby began to pout a bit. "Come on Gibbs…don't be a party pooper."

"Party pooper?" Ziva questioned and watched Tim shake his head.

"Don't ask."

Ziva then came to Abby's defense. "She is right; it is her birthday. And I for one cannot wait to try something new."

"How new?" Tony winked playfully before being met with another head slap. "Not a good night for me."

Gibbs examined the look on Abby's face and sighed. "Fine. But one game. That's it."

"Yay!" She placed a quick kiss on his cheek before heading to the counter and pulling him along side her. While they were purchasing the game; Ducky entered with a bit of a confused look on his face.

"I take it this was Abigail's idea?"

The three of them simply nodded as the two rejoined them. "Okay guys. We're in for the next game." She glanced at the clock. "Starts in like five minutes."

"Shall we make teams then?" Ducky added enthusiastically.

Abby met the enthusiasm. "Girls against guys."

Tim chimed in. "Um, there's four of us and two of you."

Ziva stepped to Abby's left. "We are up for the challenge."

"She's right Probie, she's an assassin, she counts as a whole platoon." Tony added as he removed his jacket and got himself mentally prepared for the task ahead.

"Yeah but we have the boss…he was a sniper." Tim continued.

Gibbs put his hand up. "I'll sit out."

"Oh no you won't." Abby pushed his hand down.

"Don't worry; it's dark in there…not to mention the smoke. He won't be able to…" Tony met Gibbs glare. "…miss a shot. You're right. We definitely have the unfair advantage."

"Not any more." Jenny arrived with a smile. "Sorry I'm late. I was able to get out of that meeting earlier than I thought." She was met with a quick 'Abby' embrace before getting up to date on the details of the game.

Ziva moved the ladies aside making a clear dividing line between the two groups. "Then it is settled, women against boys."

"Boys?" Tony mocked. "Please, we're gonna mop the floor with ya." It was then he was met with the third head slap of the night. "Boss, what was that for?"

"For trash talking. No one on my team trash talks. Clear?"

"It's just for fun Jethro." Ducky added and watched as Gibbs circled them up.

"Hell it is; this is war."


After Abby explained some of the ground rules of the game, she deemed Ziva the Captain.

"It is clear we are at a disadvantage in terms of numbers. But all negatives can be used to get the upper hand on the enemy. They will get cocky and under estimate the task at hand. That is when we go right for their underbelly." She watched her teammates grin. "The darkness and smoke will affect Gibbs' sight, despite Tony's fear of admitting it, so we must keep our weapons hidden with our bodies; especially on the ground floor. If my Intel is correct he will place himself strategically on the top floor near their base."

"He'll die before we complete our mission." Jen added with a smile.

Ziva nodded at the statement. "Use your grenades wisely. We will need a code word if we find ourselves pinned down."

"Pumpernickel?" Abby suggested and watched the stares she got in return. "I'm serious. They won't be expecting it and it'll shock them long enough for you to get away."

"Pumpernickel it is." Ziva agreed. "Keep an eye out for targets and do not be ashamed to shoot the same target twice. We must fight smart, not conservatively."

Abby stifled a laugh. "I knew this was going to be fun."

It was then Ziva shook her head. "This is not fun Abby; this is war."


Their boss in full Gibbs mode always got Tony and McGee excited. Not to mention the use of 'war,' that really got them going. Not to mention Ducky.

"I have much experience in this type of combat Jethro. I used to take my Nefu quite a bit."

Gibbs nodded at the ME. "Fine. I expect high accuracy from you Duck. Less shots fired the better. Make 'em count."

Tony managed a smile. "What's your advice for me boss?"

He was silent for a moment. "Just stay out my way. I'd hate to accidentally shoot ya."

"On it." Tony replied a bit debunked at the reply.

Tim then stepped forward. "And me boss?"

"Gonna need you and DiNozzo on the ground floor. Ducky and I will take the top perimeter near the base. Under no circumstances are we to let them shoot our base target. Is that clear?"

"But we can't put our hands on them right?" Tim questioned then immediately received glares from his teammates. "This is war…right, stupid question."


"Abby Scuito." The attendant called the name over the intercom and the teams started towards the entrance door to the meeting room. They arrived simultaneously and Gibbs moved his team aside.

"Ladies first." He moved his hand in the direction of the door and watched them ignore the gesture.

"Then what are you waiting for?" Abby shot back and watched Gibbs shoot her a wry smile.

After entering reluctantly Gibbs team took their seats to the left as Ziva's took their seats to the right. The attendant explained the basic rules, no horse playing, running or swearing. All of which they ignored. The teams stepped inside to gear up and after a quick check of equipment by the team leaders they were each given ten seconds to man their positions.

Gibbs quickly placed himself opposite the base entrance in the hope of making it seem vulnerable. Ducky maneuvered his way up the ramps and positions himself near the top of the ramp with a clear view of the ground floor. Tony and McGee touched fists before placing themselves behind opposite walls.

Ziva was moving her fingers so fast Abby was getting confused. So she simply asked the Director where to go and went on her way. Jenny was in charge of staying close to home base unless in the event of Pumpernickel. Ziva was to remain on the ground floor until she saw an opening for the base.

And with the sound of a short siren; the war began.

The first recorded kill was on Timothy McGee. His gun locked up for those few seconds that seemed to last for an eternity. He wasn't exactly sure where the laser came from but moved his position anyhow.

Tony was able to move quickly through the ground floor and stayed in the crouching tiger position most of the time. Until he was hit by none other than Ziva David.

"Assassin!" He yelled towards her as he waited for his gun to restart. Ziva contemplated responding but didn't want to give away her position to an awaiting sniper she knew too well.

Just as Tony's weapon revamped itself he was hit again; this time it followed with a few short giggles. "I'll get you Abby."

"Cant wait." She stuck out her tongue before scurrying away in her platforms in search of McGee.

Gibbs was waiting patiently; not making a sound as he waited for the figures to pass by below him. He was able to catch Abby first and listened to her stomp her feet in frustration. He remained focused as his eyes moved across the terrain. Where are you David?

Abby was hitting targets all over the place and was having the time of her life. All the time knowing how serious this whole thing had become; but not being surprised. After all; her friends were kind of special.

McGee was calculating the numbers of shots he'd fired divided by the numbers of shots that had hit something when he found both Abby and Ziva surrounding him. And before he could hit his grenade button his gun was disabled. "Aw man." Ziva was able to playfully pat him on the head as she started to motion to Abby with her fingers again.

"Her and those fingers." Abby muttered to herself before simply going in the opposite direction that Ziva had to go visit the Director. After doing so, Jenny mentioned that she'd like to switch positions and Abby agreed whole heartedly. "Okay, but watch out for Ziva's fingers, she looks likes she's playing charades out there."

Jenny managed a smile before retreating to the ground floor and finding her counterpart. It was then they devised a plan to go right for the head; Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

Tony was once again crouching like a tiger when Ziva wrapped stealth around his waist and whispered in his ear. "Hey handsome."

The tone of her voice made Tony quiver and he almost dropped his gun. "You can't get me off my game that easily David…" He turned around and before he knew it was met with a long tantalizing kiss that left him a bit weak in the knees. He opened his eyes after savoring the last few seconds and turned around in a circle to find that she was gone.

The Director had McGee forced into a corner and was would not relent with her shooting; until Tim screamed for help. "Tony!!! Help!!!"

Jen's orders were to retreat just as she heard Tony approaching and head towards Doctor Mallard; which she did quickly.

Tony arrived and picked up an exhausted McGee from the floor. "You alright Probie?"

He took in a few deep breaths. "She wouldn't stop shooting…she just wouldn't stop."

Tony placed a hand on his vest. "There there Probie…I've got ya."


Gibbs sensed something was off as he heard the faint sound of McGee's yell coming from the lower level. He moved his position closer to the base and heard Ducky sigh in frustration. "Jethro, I've been hit…the Queen is coming to claim her throne." He didn't have time to smile and slipped in behind a barricade. It was him against the world and he knew it.

Jen appeared at the top left and made eye contact with Ziva who appeared at the right; once again making signals with her hands. Jen nodded and made sure to watch her back; after all they only had a few seconds. She deliberately clanged her weapon against the wall and watched as the front of Gibbs weapon came into plain view. She was hit before she could blink….but so was he. Gibbs cringed. David.

The signal that the men's base had been hit went off loud and clear and they could do nothing but hang their heads in defeat. Gibbs stepped out from the barricade to see none other than Abby Scuito standing victorious near the target. He turned to see David with her hands up; Tony and McGee along side her. Ducky joined the group moments later as their packs were deactivated.

"You didn't think I'd let you ladies have all the fun did you? It's my birthday." Abby grinned from ear to ear as she caught smiles and high fives from her teammates.


The men bickered the whole way to the restaurant and the girls couldn't help but laugh at the chain of events.

"I did not know laser tag could be so much fun." Ziva commented as their food arrived at the table.

Tony sent her a playful glance. "Neither did I."

The others noticed the glance but decided to chalk it up to their endless flirting and left it alone. Gibbs lifted his glass a short time later. "Here's to a battle well fought…"

Each of them clinked their glasses and sent friendly smiles to one another.

Ducky seconded the gesture and lifted his once more. "And to our dear Abigail; for without which I would not have been reminded what it was like to be a kid again. Happy Birthday my dear."

She managed a smile as she replied sarcastically. "Not to mention what's it like to get beat by a girl..."