Author's Notes:

This is my first Bleach fanfic, so I hope its okay. I've been on a Mayuri and Nemu kick recently (Not romantically, ew.), and this idea came to me. Hopefully, this will become a multi-chapter fic, but I can't promise anything.

And yes, I know that Mayuri's more of a scientist that an inventor, but Scientist's Block just sounded stupid.

Also, be forewarned, I don't think there's any dialogue in this fic. It's all about the man thinking for goodness sake, and Mayuri doesn't seem like the kind of guy who would think out loud.

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of its characters. No, they belong to Kubo Tite. If I DID own them, then Ichigo would actually take part in some recovery time after all of his death-defying fights, Shunsui and Nanao would have officially gotten together by now, and Ikkaku would have more of a back story.

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Chapter 1: On the Topic of Son-in-Laws

Mayuri sighed. The sheer absurdity of the situation was insane, even for his standards. Kurotsuchi Mayuri, the genius inventor, hater of perfection, brilliant scientist, and captain of the Gotei 13's 12th division had a block. Not a block of some special substance he had recently created, or a block of solidified acid, or poison, or anything cool like that; not even a block of wood.

No, Mayuri had inventor's block.

Inventor's block is something reminiscent to writer's block, but as the name clearly indicates, for inventors. In short, Mayuri couldn't think of anything to create or experiment on. He couldn't even come up with anyone else's work to criticize. And on top of it all, Nemu wasn't around for him to abuse.

Against popular belief, Mayuri did actually let his daughter have free time. No actual vacations, no, or course not, but she did have free time. He had designed her to work efficiently, so she always finished what she had to do quickly. And regardless the level of abuse he put her through; he didn't give her pointless busy work. If she finished what he wanted her to do before the end of the day, she was free to do whatever she wanted, as long as she was out of his way. He had also designed her to be responsible and calculating, so he didn't have to worry about her embarrassing him or anything like that.

As it were, Nemu was at one of her Shinigami Women's Association meetings, so she wouldn't be back for him to abuse for another hour at least.

Despite Mayuri's apparent inability to carry out anything scientific, that did not however mean that he was beyond thinking in general. This was something Mayuri rarely took part in, as he more often than not focused all of his time on his beloved science. But that wasn't much of an option, so think he did.

After about five minutes of reflecting on things such as his fashion sense, the color green, and even the prevailing weather, Mayuri had gotten back to the topic of his manufactured daughter. No matter how many times he degraded her, he had to admit that (Only to himself, never out loud, no sir.) she did do what was requested of her rather well.

Now, Mayuri did not often think about his daughter. If fact, it was extremely rare, and when he did, he usually thought about all of the problems with her that he really needed to get around to fixing. However, he was in an off mood at the time of this little bout contemplation, so after a little while of musing over Nemu, his mind got onto the topic of her love life.

In all honesty, he didn't think she really had one. But what would happen if she did? Because even if he did think highly of himself, Mayuri knew that if for some god-awful reason some really strong person fell in love with Nemu (Images of a certain spike-haired captain and Nemu holding hands and kissing kept invading Mayuri's head and making him gag.) then he probably wouldn't be able to continue abusing her the way he did. What a shame that would be. He actually found mistreating her to be fun in it's own sick, twisted way, but there was no way he would willingly risk his neck for something like that. Mayuri also didn't like the thought of having Kenpachi Zaraki as a son-in-law. The only phrase he could put to that situation was, "That would suck."

These thoughts led him to consider other men Nemu knew as potential son-in-laws. That other idiot in the 11th Division with the bald head made his stomach turn a the very thought, and though he didn't care much for her well being, not even Mayuri would wish having a gay ass, feminine freak for a husband on Nemu.

Kuchiki wasn't bad per say, but he was a snob, simply put. Mayuri would shoot himself, not Nemu, himself if he suddenly found himself to have any relation to the hippy jack-ass with the pink robe from the 8th. Or to rethink that, he might actually shoot Nemu, because that would terminate the relationship wouldn't it? He needed to look into that.

Mayuri knew exactly what he would do if Nemu somehow wound up getting together with that damn Quincy. He'd kill the Quincy with Konjiki Ashisogi Jizō, then take apart Nemu, and remake her, conveniently leaving out all sense of emotion from her brain. Doing such a think could perhaps have negative connotations, emotion can sometimes be a pretty useful thing, but should that situation come to pass… Again Mayuri had only one way to describe the situation, "To hell with emotion, if Nemu ever shacked up with Quincy-boy, then there'd be nothing else for it." Mayuri wasn't really sure why, but Nemu and Ishida as a couple seriously pissed him off. He didn't really have anything against the Quincy, status as an idiot aside. But then again, while he didn't know why, he didn't really care why either, so… next subject.

The miniature 10th captain… no, Mayuri found that that would just be weird looking. Not that he had anything against weird, but the kid was just way too short.

What other men were there that Mayuri knew of/had taken even the smallest mental note of? There was always Yamamoto, but that thought truly did make Mayuri have to get up from his seat and go his house's nearest bathroom to make sure that he didn't puke all over his favorite chair. There was also the dog; Mayuri actually thought that pair up might be interesting. He could get all sorts of weird grandkids if that situation came to pass. And while he almost blanched at the thought of grandkids, when he considered all of the experiments he could complete on the hybrids, he almost smiled to himself instead.

Following this pattern, Mayuri unknowingly passed the time by easier than he ever had before. By the time Nemu returned from her meeting, Mayuri had run out of men, and was just about to start considering possible daughter-in-laws should Nemu be lesbian. (He was sure she wasn't, but every good scientist always weighs all of the possibilities.) All Nemu saw however, was that her father was in deep thought in his favorite chair. So she quietly made her way to the kitchen, made a cup of tea, putting an extra on the counter for her father, and went to look into any new paperwork that might be waiting for her.

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Author's Notes:

I appear to be better at writing Bleach fanfiction than I am at writing One Piece fanfiction. I believe that I've written about 15 One Piece fics, yet none of them have turned at as good as this one. I know it was totally pointless, but hell, I actually LIKE this little fic. Weird XD. Please be nice and review! I'll love you forever if you do~!