Unfaithful Chapter 1: Unfaithful, a house of night fanfic

What if Erik hadn't caught Zoey and Loren? What If Zoey hadn't caught Loren and Neferet? Loren wouldn't have felt Zoey's pain and gone looking for her, so he would still be alive. Loren keep his promise of seeing Zoey the next day. Let's pretend, just for now, that he never was evil.

Poet's Loft, after classes.

I'll be thinking of you until then, my love.

His neat scroll caresses the paper, as his hand caressed your skin the other night. Just the thought sends shivers down your spine. "You're mine." "Your's." You blink away the tears. You don't even know why they're coming.

Story of my life

Searching for the right

But it keeps avoiding me

Sorrow in my soul

Cause it seems that wrong

Really loves my company

Lies. More and more lies. You know they'll be your down fall one day. But you can't seem to care, not when he's on your mind. Lies. Because you know exactly why you're crying. You can't seem to say no to him, even when your gut tells you that Erik is the one for you. It's as if you're under his spell. You may very well be. Some voice, once recognizable as your conscious, tells you. He is a powerful, skilled acting vampire. No. He has not bespelled you. You're just weak enough to fall for temptation. Because he make you feel strong, powerful, womanly, in control, when everything is out of your hands. He's a guilty pleasure.

He's more than a man

And this is more than love

The reason that the sky is blue

But clouds are rolling in

Because I'm gone again

And to him I just can't be true—

"What's that, Zoey?" Damien asks. You should be guilty, jump, and hide like the coward you are, but months of sneaking around has perfected your acting abilities.

"Just a note from Erik," You whisper, a half smile on your face. You resist the urge to puke at how good you've become. Sick. Twisted. Lies. False. That's the word that best describes you now. False. As false as your smiles, as false as your love, as false as your soul. You can't imagine why the goddess picked you.

You look up at Damien, and he his staring at you. When he meets your eyes, he gives you a false, nervous smile. He knows.

And I know that he knows I'm unfaithful

And it kills him inside

To know that I am happy with some other guy

I can see him dying

His eyes glance way quickly, the light in them dying a little. Just as his trust in you is dying a little. With each lie to protect Loren, they distrust you a little more. And a part of you dies a little too, but no one can see that.

They all know, but they are your friends. So they won't say anything, and they'll hope that their wrong. Aphrodite's chilling, hard eyes catch yours. She won't deny the truth, but she won't give away your secret. She never had any trust in you to begin with.

I feel it in the air

As I'm doing my hair

Preparing for another date

A kiss up on my cheek

He's here reluctantly

As if I'm gonna be out late

Classes pass quickly, with one thought on your mind. You hate Loren.

Not the thought most would expect. You hate him because he represents your weakness. Because your relationship with him is destroying the one with Erik, but you can't stop. You like to believe if Loren never came into your life you would be faithful to Erik. But you know it's not true. There have been others: Heath, Stark. You remember what Neferet said, she, too, knows. Even though you hate her, her words ring true.

"Great power is a curse and a blessing. You're powerful enough to have them imprint on you just by sight. They fell in love with you, they love and want you, even when they know the truth, and probably will forever. But they won't want to see you, just as you don't want to see Loren. You'll be drawn to each other, but they will despise you. Because loving you will hurt too much."

You should allow them to hate you. But you can't, because you need them to love you. Aphrodite was right. Power changes people. It changed you, and it's changing the people around you.

"Zoey!" His voice calls to you, out side your last class. It's sweet, like honey to your ears, and you know you love him more then the others. He catches you and spins you with a laugh, like two dancers across the ballroom floor. You laugh too. His boyish charm and energy fills you, gives you life, and reenergizes you. You noticed that when you're not with him you feel numb and dead. Tired, because he is your soul, and without him, you have no will to live.

Kissing you on the cheek, he asks if you want to catch a movie with everyone else.

You tell him you can't, you have to prepare for the next Full Moon Ritual. His boyish grin dies, and you die along with it. Behind him, you can see Loren Blake wink, and head toward the poet's loft.

"Can't you do it later?" He asks, broken.

You've broken him. You bow your head and shake it, trying to hide the tears that are threatening to spill. You must do it now, you say. He releases you and stares, for a long moment, before turning and leaving. He heads in the opposite direction of the poet's loft, and as you follow Loren, you chuckle cynically. The perfect metaphor of your life.

I say I won't be long

Just hanging with the girls

A lie I didn't have to tell

Because we both know

Where I'm about to go

And we know it very well

Cause I know that he knows I'm unfaithful

And it kills him inside

To know that I am happy with some other guy

I can see him dying

You walk slowly to the loft, as if fighting the path your feet choose to take, but your not. If you really fought, you'd be with Erik right now. Still, walking slow will prolong the walk of shame, and let you drowned a little in it.

When you arrive, you knock on the door. You hear shuffling. It opens and you step into his open arms and breathe in his scent. He always smells the same, delicious. You kiss him hungrily. Like you are a starving person, and he is the food. He returns your kiss with passion. This isn't like Erik. It's wrong. It's false. It's only passion. You pretend you enjoy it. You make all the sounds he likes to make him think he is the only one. With him, you feel nothing but passion, raw. But with your true lover, you feel it all. The passion, the lust, the desire. Because of him, you are betraying your true love. "Mine" He whispers. And he has you under his spell. Very gently he leans down and kissed your forehead, then your left cheek, then your right. He kisses your chin, and then your nose, before finally kissing you ever so softly on the lips. You stand very still while he kisses you. You return his kiss when you finally feel his lips on yours. He rests his forehead on yours and looks into your eyes. "I'm glad you're finally back."

"I'm not' You think to yourself. You smile and look back into his eyes. "Me too."

He kisses you again, putting his left hand on the back of your head, feeling your hair. He runs his right hand down your back and moans. "I missed you." You kiss him to shut him up, because you don't want to hear it. You don't want to be swept away by his passion and charm. But eventually you'll break, and he'll win, once again. So why fight? He picks you up bridal style and you put your arms around his shoulders, leaning in to kiss his neck. He carries you to the bedroom and lays you down on the bed. You sit up to start unbuttoning his pants. He takes off his shirt and then works on taking off yours. His fingers burn your skin. You call silently on water to wash was the burn. Later, you'll call on water to purify yourself, but it won't come. It won't work. You'll still feel dirty. You pull back from him so he can get the shirt over your head, and then you move to pull down his pants. You see green silk boxers, it makes you smile. You ask Mother Earth to accept you when you die, even though you are not pure. You pull down the boxers before he pushes you back down on the bed.

You rise up to kiss him, and he unhooks your bra.

You pull him down while still kissing him so you are lying flat on the bed.

He reaches down to undo your pants.

You help him kick them off.

Mechanical movement, fuelled by passion.

False.

I don't wanna do this anymore

I don't wanna be the reason why

Every time I walk out the door

I see him die a little more inside

I don't wanna hurt him anymore

I don't wanna take away his life

I don't wanna be...

A murderer

He kisses down your jaw, pausing to kiss your neck, before kissing down to your chest. He stops at your left breast and kisses your nipple. He licks it and then blows cool air on it. He watches it tighten up in arousal. He sucks the nipple into his mouth. You arch your back and make all the sounds he likes. You're not really paying attention though. Your thoughts are on your betrayal. Your lies. Your falseness.

He moves to my other breast and teases it just the same. You close your eyes and imagine Erik doing more to you. You feel him kissing down your stomach, and then you feel his lips on your lower lips through your panties. You moan and spread your legs more.

"You're too good to be true."

You squeeze your eyes tight to keep back tears. After you've asked fire to burn them away, you open your eye and see him looking at you with desire.

You reach your hand out to him, and he moves over your body.

You hook your legs on his hips.

He kisses your collar bone as he slides into you.

You turn my head to the side to give him more room.

Mechanical movements. Numbness. False.

Our Love, his trust

I might as well take a gun and put it to his head

Get it over with

I don't wanna do this

Anymore (anymore)

He moves within you, and you moan his name. He starts to move faster. He moans louder and louder, you shut your eyes and imagine another set of hands on you. Another pair of lips kissing your. You imagine moaning someone else's name. You imagine gasping out in pleasure in someone else's arms. As you imagine someone else, you can feel your orgasm grow.

You are betraying Erik by being with Loren. You are betraying Loren by thinking of Erik. Really Loren's not a horrible man. He treats you right. He would be a good partner. But you hate him. Because it's easier then hating yourself.

You knows the man above you is close because of the short breathes he is taking. You moan his name again, running your hands down his back. He pants into your neck, and you put your hands in his long black hair. He gasps your name one more time before emptying himself into you. You think of the other person and give yourself over to your orgasm, careful not to say his name.

You lay there for a moment, gathering your breath. He rolls onto his back and pulls you with him. You are tucked against his side, head on his chest, listening to his heart beat. You feel safe, strong. Loren gives you strength, as Erik gives you life. Loren is your fire. You're passion. Heath purified you. He was your water. Stark made you feel strangely free. He was your air. You still haven't found earth, but you know one day you will. And it will be just one more element of your life you are betraying.

The rhythm of his heart puts you to sleep. You miss him kissing the top of your head, and telling you he would do anything to keep you. When you awake, it is almost morning, and he is in the shower. 'I don't want to do this anymore.' You think to yourself. But you know you will be here again. You will come back, because you can't stay away. As you are about to leave you turn to tell him goodbye. You see him standing in the hall with the same sad expression Erik had in the hall. Your heart tightens up, and you can feel the sorrow in your soul. You leave without saying another word. He knows. He was the first to know. He needs to accept it. Tonight it must end. You can not do this to Erik anymore. You must end this. This is wrong in every way. With the Erik, it is right. You made love with him one last time. You moaned his name one last time. You wish you could forget this ever happened. Being with him doesn't bring you any happiness, it only brings you more sorrow. He asks you when you can be together again and you feel a lonely tear fall down your cheek.

"We can't be together Loren. This was the last time. I can't keep doing this to him. He is the right thing for me."

"We can make this right. We can do this."

"This can never be right, because you don't love me like he does." He looks at her with a hard look. He opens his mouth to speak.

"Don't deny it. You have never said that you loved me, not once. But I have told you on many occasions that I love you. You are wrong because you don't return my feelings. No matter our imprint." You turn without another word, and he does not stop you, because this has happened before. He knows, given time, you will come back.