Summary: Lelouch discovers he might actually make a better housewife than Kallen.

Relevant notes: Set during R2.

A/N: If something seems off with the cooking terms, let me know. I relied on www. baking911. com, which makes baking look like brain surgery and since I have no cooking skills myself, it's a bad combo.

I'm not very happy with this story, but if I revise it anymore I'll end up deleting it from frustration, so... Hopefully C will be easier. Anyway, have a (relatively) kind!Lelouch to make up for jerk!Lelouch in the previous story.

page two

B is for Baking

"Culinary Classes"

On his way past the kitchen, Lelouch heard a series of ringing bangs that sounded as though someone was smashing pots and pans together. Curious, he ducked his head into the room and found an irate Kallen, her clothes dusted with flour and giving her the eerie appearance of a ghost. His redheaded pilot was so absorbed with glaring at a doughy mess on the counter before her that she didn't notice his arrival.

'What is that?' he asked and she swivelled around, frowning.

'It's none of your business, that's what,' she replied, throwing a dishcloth over it and sinking onto a stool.

Lelouch eyed the disaster zone that the kitchen had become- it honestly seemed like either something had exploded, or someone had decided to careen through with a Knightmare Frame- and slipped inside. He locked the door, not bothering to question why a kitchen door would have a lock, and joined her at the counter, removing his mask with a sigh of relief.

'It becomes my business when you're disturbing the peace,' he said and Kallen favoured him with a look similar to the one she'd been giving her failed... whatever it was. He poked it in an attempt to guess what she'd been trying to make.

'I am not disturbing the peace,' Kallen snapped. 'It's not my fault this stupid bread isn't cooking properly!'

Lelouch looked at her and then at the lump on the counter. 'Bread? This is bread?'

'Yes. And don't start with your wisecracks, because I've already had C.C. spend half the morning mocking me.'

He could barely contain his laughter at both her frustrated pout and the way her feet were tapping irritably. He'd never seen this sulky side of her before. It was- he frowned at the thought- oddly endearing.

'Well, I can't blame her-' he began and Kallen immediately lifted a fork to his face, the threat clear. 'No, really, Kallen... On what planet would this be considered bread?'

Kallen raised the fork and Lelouch backed away from her, smirking. He was afraid she might decide to pursue him further, but instead she flung the piece of silverware down and turned away from him. He let her sit in silence for a moment and then began gathering used bowls and utensils, tossing them into the sink.

'Why are you trying to make bread, anyway?' he asked.

'Because,' she huffed, 'Tamaki said that if I had any children, they'd have to survive on instant noodles and takeaway. He said I couldn't cook to save my life, so I had to prove him wrong.'

He couldn't help himself: 'I suppose you'd better begin memorising Pizza Hut store numbers, hmm?'

'Don't you have anything better to do than tell me I'm going to make a bad mother?' she fired back.

Lelouch studied her carefully and when he realised she was genuinely upset, he was instantly sorry for what he'd said. He hadn't known the topic was such a touchy one with her, but he supposed he should have, considering how fierce she was regarding family. He placed one last dirty spoon into the sink and moved to an unused stretch of the kitchen bench, watching her from the corner of his eye.

'I'll teach you to cook,' he offered. Kallen glanced at him suspiciously and he met her gaze, wondering if she could see that he was sorry. 'Bread isn't too hard, even if you choose to go beyond the basics.'

'I'm not very good,' she said, looking at her flour-covered clothes. 'Basic is still more than I can handle.'

'You'll learn,' he said confidently. He collected a bag of flour, yeast, salt and various utensils. 'Did you have all the right ingredients?'

'I think so.' Kallen stood and passed him a clean bowl, her hurt expression fading. 'It never turns out right even when I follow the instructions.'

He thought about asking her how many attempts at bread she'd already made, but decided against it; he quite liked his sanity.

'Bad recipe, perhaps,' he concluded. 'Just follow me this time.'

'But aren't you busy?'

'I have time for this,' he said and Kallen stepped up beside him and began measuring out her ingredients while he kept close watch. 'Your measurements are accurate,' he mused. 'How hot was the water you used to dissolve the yeast?'

'Um... Boiling hot?'

'Didn't your recipe tell you to use lukewarm water?' he asked. 'Hot water kills the yeast and the bread won't rise.'

Kallen stared, directing a mixture of awe and shock at him. 'No, it just said to dissolve the yeast in water... Lelouch, how do you know all that?'

'Mostly experience,' he admitted. 'Learning to cook well doesn't happen overnight.'

He stirred all the dry ingredients together and added the water, testing its temperature first on the inside of his wrist. Kallen watched with open fascination as he began working it into a ball.

'Did you ever want to be a chef?' she asked curiously.

'No.' Lelouch tilted his head, considering the dough in his hands. 'I learned to cook after Nunnally and I arrived in Japan. Sayoko taught me some of this later on.'

'Oh...' Kallen paused and he looked up, catching sight of her soft smile; he knew she understood the reason for his cooking skill. 'Nunnally's lucky to have you.'

'I'm lucky to have her,' he replied quietly and Kallen nodded, reaching for the cup of water. 'Here, I'll teach you how to check it.' He took her wrist and turned it, so that her palm faced upwards and tipped a drop of water onto her skin. 'If it's warm, like it is now, it's at the right temperature. Treat it as though you're testing a baby's bottle; you want it neither too hot nor too cold.'

'Okay,' Kallen said, scrutinising her wrist. He waited for her to hurry through the following steps and reach the kneading stage.

'We'll do this for ten minutes,' Lelouch informed her, expertly working his dough into a smooth textured ball as he spoke. 'We want it completely free of lumps.'

'I didn't know you had to be so accurate with the time. I only kneaded it until it looked ready.'

'I suppose I'll have shared all my secrets by the time we finish, won't I?'

'You should publish a book.'

'Before or after our rebellion against Britannia?'

'During. As Lelouch, you probably wouldn't sell many copies, but you could as Zero. Call it 'Zero's Secrets to the Perfect Bread.' It'd be good for publicity and we'd raise a lot of funds, right?'

He smiled. 'I'll make sure I consider that, Kallen.'

Once they'd finished kneading, Kallen carried her dough to the oven with a childish eagerness and peered at the dials. 'How long do we bake it?'

'Not yet,' he said. 'We proof it first.'

'I'm not even going to pretend to know what that means,' Kallen muttered.

He chuckled. 'We let it rise. It isn't too hot today, so we can leave it by that window.'

Kallen helped him butter the insides of two bowls before they dumped the dough in and left them on the bench. The window was fairly high up, but there was sufficient sunlight streaming through to ensure the dough would rise nicely. They spent the time waiting for it by cleaning up the mess Kallen had made earlier. Lelouch couldn't quite believe the amount of equipment she'd used in making her first loaves of bread.

The final step was shaping the dough and Kallen sighed heavily when he told her they still weren't done yet.

'If it takes this much to make just bread, I think I won't bother cooking anything at all. My kids can eat pizza all day like C.C.'

'Bread is probably more complicated to make than your daily meals,' he said, as they shaped their dough. 'I doubt your kids would suffer because you aren't good at bread.'

'Still. I bet you'd be a better mother than me, Lelouch.'

'Well, maybe you should marry me,' he commented, tossing her a sly grin. 'I'll take care of the household duties and you can handle everything else.'

Kallen looked startled, her cheeks flushing a soft pink, and she shifted so he could only see her hair falling over her face. 'Wouldn't your pride as a man be hurt?'

'Unlikely. I'm confident there'd be ways for you to ensure I remain a man in every way.'

'You're a pervert!' she said, turning to frown at him as the implication sank in, and letting him see that she was blushing even harder. 'Stop it.'

'Why? How do you think our children came into existence in the first place?'

Abandoning her bread, Kallen scooped up a handful of flour from the open bag and threw it at him. Instantly, he was covered in a fine layer of white.

'I'm not having any children with you, Lelouch, so stop saying things like that or-' Kallen was abruptly cut off by his returning the favour and dumping his own handful of flour over her. Waving away the cloud drifting around her, she frowned. 'I... didn't think you'd do that.'

'It's very undignified, isn't it?' he agreed.

Kallen put a finger to her cheek, twisting her mouth thoughtfully. 'You know, white suits you, Lelouch,' she said, a second before she swiped the entire bag of flour off the bench and flung it at him.

He was covered from head-to-toe, but he was thankful he'd at least turned his face away. 'Kallen... How will I command everyone's respect looking like this?'

'I'm sure you'll figure it out,' she said, returning to her bread with an air of finality.

Lelouch followed suit, but revenge was in his nature. When she'd stopped paying attention to him, he grabbed the box of salt and backed her into the bench behind her, the task made easy by his advantage of surprise.

'Don't you even think ab-'

He emptied it over her head and the tiny granules spilled over, hitting her shoulders and falling to the floor.

'I'm sorry,' he said. 'But be grateful I chose the salt over the butter.'

'I hate you.'

He smiled. She was glaring at him, although somewhat half-heartedly, and he reached out to brush away the salt clinging to her cheeks. She looked absolutely ridiculous and he didn't doubt that his reflection would inform him of the same.

'Do you?' he asked.

She didn't move when he trailed his thumb down gently, even though he felt warmth bloom under his palm as she turned crimson again. His feet were taking him forward and his mind, for once in his life, was completely and utterly empty of strategies or plans or even logic.

'... No,' she said softly and he'd just stepped forward when there was a bang at the door, and someone called out to them:

'Kallen! Have you seen Zero?'

'I-' Not bothering to tear her gaze from his eyes, she raised her voice. 'No, I'm the only one in here!'

'Well, if you see him, let him know Diethard wants to talk to him!'

Lelouch lingered for another second after the person outside left. Kallen was temptingly and achingly close, but the interruption had restored him to his careful, rational self. He broke away, because nothing good could ever come out of anything like... this. Not with her.

'We should finish the bread before they call a search for me,' he said.

'Oh...' He wouldn't let himself read her expression. 'Right.'

They finished in silence and he slid the bread into the oven, adjusting the settings. 'I'll come back when it's time to take it out.'

'Okay. And Lelouch?' Kallen busied herself with wiping down the bench. 'Thanks.'

'You're welcome.' He fixed his mask on and headed for the door, pausing briefly once he'd unlocked it. 'For what it's worth, I think you'll make a wonderful mother.'

He sensed her staring at him, wondering perhaps at the sincerity in his voice, but he didn't look back.

A/N: I'm sorry for the un-fluffy ending, but I have a story planned that ends with too much fluff, so I'm kinda... rationing it out until then?

Kallen is apparently a terrible cook, which inspired this story, but I doubt I'd be able to make bread either. Seriously, take a look at baking911 and you will die at the encyclopedia-length instructions for bread. And no, I don't really think being unable to cook makes you a bad mother. :P

Thank you all for reading and reviewing! Kira, thanks also for the ideas. I'm pretty sure I'll be using at least one.