Many thanks to LoverFaery, Blairoutloud1428, remuslives23, dreamdustmama, BLAHBLOT, and creidne for their kind reviews!

Here's the second and final part.

That weekend was the Hufflepuff versus Ravenclaw match. The Marauders were rooting for Ravenclaw, mostly because McKinnon was one of Hufflepuff's Chasers and Sirius was still sore about being punched.

"Where's Sirius?" Peter asked as he, Remus, and James sat down.

James shrugged. "Said he had something to take care of, and he'd be along later."

They forgot about Sirius' strange absence as the game began; James critiquing and analyzing every move while Remus and Peter cheered without worrying about the finer strategy behind the game play.

The score was 50 to 80 in Hufflepuff's favor when sudden catcalls, outraged screams, and laughs drew their attention to the ground below the game. A blue and bronze figure ran across the pitch, and it soon became obvious that the bright colors were from full body paint, and the closest thing to clothing he (there was no question about gender) wore was an eagle mask.

"Go Ravenclaw!" he shouted, dodging hexes from scandalized teachers. He had a wand in his hand, which, in between blocking spells, emitted blue sparks. He made it across the pitch and ducked under the risers, several teachers and prefects following. Above the field, a bludger slammed into Ravenclaw's Seeker, recalling the players to the game. They resumed as those who had chased the nude figure returned to their seats, their quarry having escaped.

"Budge over," a voice hissed in Peter's ear, and the boys were jostled aside. An invisible weight settled in Remus' lap. "That was fun."

"Sirius," hissed James, "are you naked under my cloak?"

"I'm always naked under my clothes."

"I don't care what you are under your clothes, as long as your clothes are between your nakedness and my cloak."

"You're such a prude, Potter. Didn't you like the show?"

"I can't believe you did that," Peter breathed, staring in awe at the spot just in front of Remus where Sirius' voice was coming from. Remus sighed and squirmed a little in his seat, trying to distribute Sirius' weight comfortably.

"Someone had to. Think maybe it'll start a tradition? Quidditch could use more nudity."

"Because there aren't enough dirty jokes about broomsticks and balls as it is," Remus muttered.

"See? Moony understands me. Mwah." There was a wet smacking sound and Remus wrinkled his nose, wiping at his cheek.

Peter fumbled in his pocket and held out a handkerchief. "You've got blue paint on your face," he told Remus. "A professor might see and think that--well, none of them would ever think that was you, but they'll figure out it was James or Sirius. If they haven't already."

James was red-faced, his eyes bugging out. "The paint's still wet? You're wearing my cloak while naked and covered in wet paint?" His voice was a strange balance of whisper and shriek.

"Calm down before you burst a blood vessel," Sirius said. "It'll wash out."

"I want that cloak clean before you give it back to me. It had better be pristine, do you understand me, Black? The full moon's in eight days, and if there's even a speck of paint, I'll hex you blind."

"Alright already," Sirius muttered. "I was getting cold anyway." The weight left Remus' legs as Sirius stood and made his way back to the school, confusing several students as he pushed them aside.

Remus looked up from his book as James entered. He had retreated to their room a few minutes ago, after his quiet study group had been interrupted by Sirius challenging everyone to a duel with Remus as the prize. No one had accepted his challenge, but somehow they'd all ended up playing Exploding Snap. Remus got the impression that he was still the prize.

"He's serious, you know," James announced.

"Yes," he agreed. "And you are James, I am Remus, and Peter is Peter."

James threw a pillow at Remus. "That joke was old halfway through first year."

"The classics never die."

James sighed. "I meant, he's not kidding. He likes you."

"He likes you too. And Peter, motorbikes, and cherry pie."

"Are you being dim on purpose? He likes-likes you."

"When did you turn into a 13 year old girl?" Remus returned his attention to his book.

James walked over and pulled the book from his hands. "Listen. Sirius has a crush on you. He wants to kiss you and hold your hand and do things I don't want to think about to you."

Remus shook his head. "He's just joking around. Does it to everybody. Does it to you often enough."

James raised his eyebrows. "You really are that dim," he said, surprised. "Sirius doesn't sit on my lap. He's never had any objections to me being naked in public."

"Maybe he thinks you look nicer naked than I do," Remus interrupted, but James ignored him.

"He doesn't kiss me on the cheek or offer me his cloak if I'm cold, or sit with his arm around my shoulders, or care if a girl talks to me."

"You're reading too much into this." Remus summoned his book back. "Sirius flirts with everyone, that's all."

"Just think about it, okay?"

Sirius stomped into the room then, slamming the door behind him, and dramatically collapsed across Remus' bed. "Stupid, red-headed tart."

James perked up. "Evans beat you?"

"She cheated. We have any Polyjuice left?"

James nodded. "Enough for two, I think. Why?"

"Right. If Evans comes up here to claim her prize, we throw the cloak over Moony and you can take his place."

"Deal." James stood and walked to the door, messing up his hair. "I'll just go down and see how the game's going, see if Evans needs any help." He grinned at them. "And leave you two lovebirds alone."

Remus and Sirius stayed quiet a few minutes before Sirius sat up and peered at Remus' book. He frowned, recognizing the Transfiguration textbook. "You'd rather study than spend time with your friends?"

"We have a test tomorrow."

"We do? On what?"

"Chapters 14 through 19. I suppose you haven't studied at all?"

Sirius shook his head. "I'm not even sure where my textbook is."

"When's the last time you saw it?"

Sirius considered for a few seconds. "I think it was at Hogwarts' First Annual Amateur Wizarding Skeet Shooting Competition."

Remus bowed his head. "Many brave textbooks met their end that day. Their sacrifice will not be forgotten." He wiped his eyes, hiding a grin.

Sirius scooted up the bed to sit besides Remus, leaning against the headboard. "I'll just have to use yours then."

"I'm using mine."

"We can share." Sirius tugged the textbook until Remus was holding it open between them.

Remus sighed and nodded. "Alright. But only because yours went out in a blaze of glory."

Sitting on his bed, Sirius pressed close to his side, studying for a subject that Sirius often boasted he had down cold, Remus began to wonder if maybe James was right after all.

Over the next few days, Remus spent a lot of time in the library, reading books on magical theory. "I'm learning how to cast simple spells but with delays and password-triggers, and to link spells together for a chain reaction. It's fascinating," he told his friends, who all got the glazed look they had during History of Magic.

"Why?" Peter asked, after Remus had nearly sent them to sleep by explaining Withengort's theories on sympathetic magic and their possibilities when combined with Germalt's work with cascading charmwork.

"Think about the potential!" Remus gushed. "With the proper groundwork you could activate a spell on multiple similar objects without having to cast it a hundred times."

"Yeah?" James ruffled his hair. "What class is this for, again?"

"Independent research. I think it might be useful for the NEWTS."

James and Sirius rolled their eyes and went back to reading Quidditch Weekly. Peter, suddenly nervous, started flipping through the heavy books Remus had piled on his bed, and moaned in despair.

"I'll never understand this," he whimpered. "I'm going to fail everything."

James made sympathetic sounds and Remus took more notes.

For such intelligent, experienced pranksters, his friends were really dense, Remus thought as he dressed in his oldest and shabbiest robes, the ones that had been spared the rag bin only because six years of living with James and Sirius had taught him the importance of having clothes he was willing to completely ruin. He'd finished getting everything set up last night, claiming he was going on his rounds to avoid making his friends suspicious. He felt bad using his prefecture to get a prank ready, but thought that this once it would be worth it, even if he were caught.

Watching Sirius fuss with his hair and Peter scrounge for matching socks, he considered warning them that perhaps they shouldn't worry so much about their appearance this morning, but decided against it. He wanted everything to be a surprise.

The four friends trouped down to breakfast, James managing to snag a seat next to Lily, grinning at her friend Hannah, who he'd beaten to the bench. Hannah rolled her eyes and sat on Lily's other side while Peter sat next to James. Remus and Sirus settled across from them.

"I don't think you three really appreciate the potential of my research," Remus said after everyone had filled their plates, leaning in and lowering his voice. "You seem to think it's only useful in a purely academic sense. It does hold some possibilities for mischief-making as well."

The other three leaned in too. "You finally have that prank ready?" James whispered, stabbing at his bacon. "I was beginning to think you were going to back out."

"Never." Remus pulled out his wand. "Linked spells," he told them. "Trigger words." He tapped the bench. "Crazy glue."

"What's that?" Peter asked.

"Muggle glue. Very strong."

"Where can we get some?" Sirius liked Muggle glue. It confused the wizards trying to undo his latest prank.

"Later, Padfoot." Remus tapped his plate with his wand. "Room temperature."

"My oatmeal's gone cold," Hannah whined. Finally realizing what was going on, the Marauders prodded their own lukewarm food.

"Not much of a joke, Moony," James complained.

Remus smiled and tapped his plate again. "Food fight."

Around the hall, food and drink erupted upwards, splattering people. Pancakes flipped into the air to land syrup-side down on people's heads. Oatmeal coated faces, dripping onto robes in thick globs. Pumpkin juice and sausages rained down as people shrieked, covering their heads.

Remus calmly reached for a napkin and wiped the juice off his face. Around him, people were shouting, hurling accusations. Lily tried to rise to her feet, only to discover she was stuck to the bench. "I will kill you for this, Potter!" she yelled, struggling.

"It wasn't me!" James laughed. "Oh Merlin, but I wish it was. Brilliant!"

Sirius and Peter were laughing too. Sirius twisted around to see the rest of the students, resting his hands on the bench as he craned his neck. Realizing his range of movement was limited, he tried to raise his hands. "I'm stuck!" He laughed again. "There's sticking charms on the benches! Fantastic! Everyone will have to wiggle out of their robes to get free!"

"The charms aren't that strong," Remus muttered. "What is it with you and public nudity?"

"Look at the teachers!" Peter squealed, pointing. Everyone within hearing distance turned to see that the teachers' table had not been spared. Pumpkin juice dripped off Dumbledore's nose and stained his beard. There was a blob of jelly on McGonagall's cheek. Slughorn was turning red as he struggled to free himself from his chair, smears of grease on his robes and face showing where the bacon and sausages had hit him. Flitwick had a pancake on his head and was laughing as hard as the Marauders, gesturing excitedly. Flitwick was a favorite with the Marauders, as he was often more impressed by their innovative charm work than angry.

Dumbledore waved his wand and stood, and the rest of the teachers followed. "Aw," Peter pouted, "I wanted them to stay stuck."

"Never fear, Wormtail," James declared, "now that we know--yikes!" In their struggles to free themselves, the other students on that side of the table had managed to overbalance and take the entire bench with them. There were screams as the bench started to topple and vain attempts to save themselves before the bench tilted over all the way. Peter, James, Lily, Hannah, and a dozen other students disappeared from view and a split second later there was a loud thump, followed by groans and pained cries.

"As soon as we get free, I'm coming after you, Potter," one of the students threatened.

"It wasn't me!"

Sirius nudged Remus with his shoulder. "You got everyone," he whispered, his voice awed. "Even us."

"And because we're clearly the victims as well, we won't get blamed. Especially since most of Gryffindor saw you three in the common room and no one expects me to act alone."

"Brilliant," Sirius breathed. "If I weren't stuck to the bench, I would kiss you."

Remus considered him for a moment, looked around to make certain no one was paying attention to them, then leaned in, one hand on Sirius' chin, and kissed the other boy. It was a soft kiss, over quickly. Remus pulled back, blushing, and dropped his hand to his lap, staring at his empty plate. Sirius was silent for several long seconds before finally speaking.

"If I weren't stuck to the bench, I'd throw you on the table, rip off your clothes, cover you in syrup, and lick you all over."

Remus grinned. "Then it's a good thing you're stuck to the bench, isn't it?"

"Potter! Black!"

"It wasn't us!" James protested, still on the floor.

"I highly doubt that."

Remus and Sirius turned as much as they could to look up at Professor Slughorn.

"It really wasn't him. Or Sirius," Remus said, inwardly smirking at how misleadingly honest he was being. "They were in Gryffindor Tower all night."

"This has all the hallmarks of one of their stunts." Slughorn had held a grudge against the Marauders ever since James and Sirius refused his invitation to join the Slug Club, and their tendency to hex Slytherins and pull pranks during Potions only made it worse.

"I think you'll find it does not." Professor McGonagall strode over. "Indeed, it seems to me that this most certainly is not their doing."

"We could do this!" Sirius objected. Remus kicked him.

McGonagall frowned at him. "Do you want detention, Mr. Black?" Sirius mumbled no and looked down. "As I was saying, Mr. Black and Mr. Potter would not be considerate enough to cool the food before throwing it everywhere. Nor would they leave so much food untouched. Or didn't you notice?" She indicated the full patters in the center of the table. "Only the individual plates were charmed. There's still quite a lot of mess waiting to be made."

"Does this mean there's still breakfast?" Peter asked from the floor.

"Finally, the sticking charm was too easy to break. If it were Black's work, we'd still be glued to our seats." She waved her wand at the far side of the table, and a moment later students began to stand up, many still glaring suspiciously at James and Sirius.

"Clearly," James said as brushed off his robes, "some young student has decided to follow in our footsteps." He looked around the hall. "An excellent beginning too. I will be happy to take this newcomer on as my apprentice."

"You will do no such thing!" McGonagall snapped. "The last thing we need to do is encourage this behavior." She frowned at James. "I need to go free the other students. I trust, Mr. Potter, that you can behave yourself, and not make matters worse?"

"Of course, Professor."

"All evidence to the contrary," Lily muttered, dabbing at a wet spot on the front of her robes.

McGonagall smiled a little at that, and walked away, Slughorn following.

"Hey!" Sirius shouted. "I'm still stuck!"

"I am certain you can free yourself, Mr. Black. And if you cannot, then the rest of us can enjoy the reprieve from your usual exuberance."

Remus waved his wand over the bench. "Finite Incantatem."

Sighing in relief, Sirius pulled his hands free. "About time. So, is there any good food left?"

James nodded and grabbed his glass and a pitcher of pumpkin juice. "Yes. And I propose a toast. To one of the best pranks I've seen in a long time, and the mysterious pranker," he smiled at Remus, "who caught us all by surprise."

"That may not be a good idea," Remus warned, as James poured the juice. As soon as it hit the bottom of the glass, it surged upwards, splashing James in the face. With a startled oath, James dropped both glass and pitcher, the juice spilling over the table.

"You know," Peter said thoughtfully, placing a roll on his plate and catching it as it sprang up, "I think the dishes are still enchanted. Funny, huh?"

James mopped at his face with his mostly clean sleeve. "Hilarious." He glared at Remus, but his mouth twitched into a smile. "I guess the juice isn't an option then." He grabbed a slice of toast and saluted Remus with it. "A toast," he intoned solemnly.

Lily looked at him speculatively. "I believe you now. You really didn't do this."

"Course not," he answered, munching on his toast.

"But you're a good sport about it."

James shrugged. "It was a good joke. Gave me a few ideas, too."

"There's a Hogsmeade trip weekend after this one. If you can go that long without acting on any of those ideas, I'll go with you."

"Really?"

"Heavy price, Prongs," Sirius said. "Sure she's worth it?"

"No pranks from you either, Black. I can't be sure if you act alone or not."

"Please, Padfoot," James begged. Sirius hesitated.

"Perhaps," Remus said, resting a hand on Sirius' thigh beneath the table, "you should find someone to take to Hogsmeade too. As an incentive to be on your best behavior. There are plenty of girls who would love to go with you."

Sirius turned to gaze at Remus, sliding his hand over Remus'. "I'm not interested in any girls."

James winked and jerked his head slightly, trying to silently convey "See? He likes-likes you, Moony!"

"You okay?" Peter asked. "You've gone all twitchy."

"Fine," James muttered, glaring at Remus, who smiled back and squeezed Sirius' hand under the table.

It seemed unlikely that both James and Sirius would be able to restrain themselves from pranking. Perhaps if he and Sirius kept quiet, James would be too busy playing matchmaker to cause trouble. And it would give him something to worry about besides his upcoming date, as well as being mischievous enough to satisfy Sirius.

Yes, Remus decided as he ate a slice of ham, keeping it a secret for a week or two was an act of friendship. He was sure Sirius would agree. The chance to watch James try to push them together was merely a bonus.

He grinned at Sirius, who grinned back.

This was, Remus decided, the best prank he'd ever done.

The End