Disclaimer: For the last time, I don't own anything!

A/N: For the 50 quotes challenge. Chapters likely to be up slow-ish, meaning I have no idea when they'll be up. Please read, please enjoy, and please review.

Quote 1. You look like a banana.

If you've ever been sent to Dumbledore's office, you've probably had the chance to look around. You've probably seen Fawkes perched on his stand, perhaps preening himself or regrowing molted feathers. You've also probably seen portraits of past Headmasters and Headmistresses. I bet they ignored you, too, because you ignored them. I think you've also seen the books, thousands and thousands of books that line the walls like a multi-colored blanket. And I know that you saw the sword of Godric Gryffindor in its glass case on Dumbledore's desk.

I bet you also stuck your hand in the ever-present bowl of Licorice Snaps and got bitten.

The one thing that most students miss, yes, even you, is the tattered old hat that sits on one of the top shelves next to a stack of books that need rebinding. It's old and patchy, and doesn't look very special. That's why most people tend to skip over it, instead looking at all of the shinier, prettier objects on display. This hat, however, is the most special thing in the room. And you've seen it. You saw it on your very first day. It determined the rest of your life, or at least the basics, when you placed it on your head.

That's right. The Sorting Hat, that's what it is.

And, right now, it's talking with Professor Dumbledore.

"You look like a banana," it states, in response to Dumbledore's choice of attire.

Dumbledore is wearing robes that are bright yellow. Remember Bill and Fleur's wedding? Yeah, remember the yellow robes Luna and Xenophilius were wearing? These robes are just a tad darker than those. Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, depending on what Dumbledore was aiming for, it makes the rather odd Headmaster look like a big, bearded banana.

"Posh," Dumbledore replies.

The Sorting Hat glares at the Headmaster. "You do. You look like a big, bearded, overripe banana."

Dumbledore walks over to a mirror (I still have no idea where that came from) and surveys himself. "Hmm. It appears I do," he turns away. "Perhaps you could put something about bananas in your next Sorting song," he suggests.

If hats can look disgusted, this one certainly does. "I prefer to retain what little dignity I have," it retorts.

"You are no fun whatsoever," Dumbledore informs the hat. I, personally, find this exchange very interesting. Dumbledore is arguing with the Sorting Hat about bananas. Now, I'm not saying that I didn't argue with the Sorting Hat in my day, because I did, but never over something as silly as bananas. Though I do remember arguing with it over what the meaning of life is, but that's a different story. The point is, I am highly enjoying myself, and you, dear student, are completely confused.

"I'm not supposed to be fun," the Sorting Hat reminds Professor Dumbledore.

Dumbledore simply shrugs. The Sorting Hat closes two folds that look remarkably like eyes, a sign that the discussion is over. After a few moments, Dumbledore sits down at his desk and begins to fill out something. I suspect it is paperwork.

You want to know more? Persistant, aren't you? I have nothing more to say. If you wish to find out more about the Sorting Hat, I suggest you read. Maybe ask it some questions yourself, should you get sent to the Headmaster's office. Now scat, before I get angry.

Why are you still here? Go!