Aftermath
by: Solitaire42

Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own the characters or the rights to them. Anthony E. Zuiker and CBS, however, do.

A/N: I've always pictured Danny as a sort of older brother to the younger members of the team, the same way I think of Mac as the Dad and Stella as the older sister. I'm also a huge fan of brotherly-fluff, so when I got the idea for this story I just had to write it. (My personal favorite for this sort of thing is Narnia- Edmund/Peter brotherfic makes the world go round, I tell you. electrum writes possibly the best I have ever come across.)

I hope you enjoy, and please review! (They seem to have replaced my beloved periwinkle button on the drop-down menu with an odd white and green one in the middle of the page..)

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"Alright, Mr. Ross- that looks pretty good." Adam nodded as the doctor straightened up.

"Can- can I change out of this thing? Can I leave?" He left the word 'please' unspoken, but even to his own ears he sounded desperate.

The nameless doctor surveyed him, pressing his lips together and taking in the way he was clutching at the thin sleeves of the hospital gown, the way his knuckles were white. "You can change into your other things, I suppose" he nodded. "I already told your coworker the same. But-" he continued as Adam stood to gather up his sweatpants, "you'll have to stay here tonight." The look Adam gave him must have been something, cause the man went so far as to settle a hand on his shoulder. "I want to make sure you're alright before I send you home, Adam. Just one night, for observation, and if you're alright by noon tomorrow you can leave." Adam looked at him, doubting, and the older man held up his hands and smiled. "God's honest truth."

The tech sighed and nodded before the older man left, watching his labcoat and nurses disappear around the door frame before heading toward the bathroom.

Three minutes later, he emerged quite a bit warmer, his sweatpants and white t-shirt warming him internally as much as out. The doctor, who's name he had forgotten long ago, had been nice enough not to add an IV pinhole to the list of scars he would be studying nightly for the next few weeks- he was hydrated enough, and saline was generally only for precautionary measures. And, the man knew, if Adam actually needed it he wouldn't put up a fight. He never had before, anyway, right?

The room was suffocating him with its pristine silence, all white walls and hard angles. The smell of disinfectant, while not bothering him in the feild, turned his stomach, and before he knew what was happening his restless feet were carrying him through the door and into the hallway.

The rooms to his right were farther from the nurses' station, and he knew that was the way to go. If they put out an alert on him, better to be far as opposed to near, right? Give them an actual reason to lock you in and post a guard outside your door.

His slippers (hospital issue) were rather noisy as quiet footwear goes, and just as he came to a half open door he heard a loud and familliar "Fuck!" and a few small scuffling sounds. He stopped just before the opening, debating whether or not to go in. A couple of rough coughs drifted into the hall and he steeled himself before knocking twice on the frame and stepping through- his feet had obviously brought him here for a reason.

Danny Messer, looking rather domesticated in a blue robe that matched the one he himself wore, was hunched over facing the far wall.

"I'm fine," he ground out. "Just leave me alone, please." He sounded hostile, and that scared Adam more than anything.

"Uh.." he fought the urge to run away and find a nice, unguarded supply closet to nest in. "Danny? You.. alright?"

The CSI stood a little straighter and turned his head. "That you, Ross?"

"Yeah, it's me," Adam mumbled, worrying that confirmation might be just the thing Danny would need to start punching and screaming.

"Thank God," the man sighed, all traces of anger evaporated. He stepped aside to sit on the bed, revealing a twelve pack sticking out of his nightstand drawer. Well, an eleven pack, judging by the open bottle on the tabletop. "Close the door, will ya?" Adam nodded and let the door click shut. "I thought you were one of those damn nurses that keep checking up on me. I guess they're worried I'll walk out with their fancy dinner tray." Danny banged the plastic tray on the side of the bed for emphasis before throwing it down in disgust and picking up his beer. "Want one, Adam? Flack left 'em."

"I- uh, sure," he replied, scooting closer and taking the proffered beer.

"They tried to see you, you know. Flack and the rest of 'em. Mac even dropped by before hopping the plane to London with Peyton."

"Really?" Adam asked, uncertain, as Danny took a sip. Why would they want to see him? They were probably worried he'd let out some other classified information.

"Fuck yeah. You scared the hell out of 'em, Ross. All of us." Danny eyed Adam. "Take a seat, Adam, I'm not gonna bite ya." Adam sat next to the older man and finally opened his beer. "They said you were still being looked over. And before you were done visiting hours were over, so.." he smiled. "Flack left your six with me." Danny gestured to the drawer with his bandaged hand which, Adam saw, directly mirrored his own. The other man seemed to notice at the same time. "Let me see how they did," Danny said, motioning towards Adam's injury.

He held out his arm and tried to think of something else to say while his patch job was inspected. "Flack? And Lindsay? They really left?" This astounded Adam more than anything, because he felt certain they wouldn't have gone without a fight.

"Mmmhmm," Danny responded while letting go of his wrist, seemingly pleased with the wound care. "I threatened to file a harassment suit if they didn't." Adam's face scrunched into guilt and worry all at once, worry over the possible harassment suit Danny would file on him if he hung around, and the guilt that had been accumulating since that morning in the warehouse. "I'm kidding, Ross," Danny smiled, jostling Adam gently. His face fell into a frown. "Hey, you alright? Something on your mind?"

"Hey, Danny..can I- um," he broke off, clearing his throat. A nervous habit if there ever was one.

The concern hadn't left Danny's eyes. "What's up, Adam?"

"I just.." he sighed, wishing he knew why he was always so nervous around his coworkers. "I wanted to say thanks," he mumbled to the ground.

"'Thanks'? For what?"

"For just-" he could feel the little growl building in his throat that came around whenever he couldn't get the words he wanted to say out. "For being, you know. Brave. And strong. I- I don't think I'd be alive if you hadn't come to the scene to help me today. Even if you didn't know what you were getting into. And-" He shot Danny a glance, ready for the man to cut him off any second. "Um, well- I'm sorry. I'm sorry I was so scared, and I almost- I could have ruined everything. And, I compromised the lab. And I- God, I'm so, so sorry. And I can't even tell Mac now cause he's in London, and-" he let out a moan. The words were, as always, tangling themselves up hopelessly in between his brain and mouth. God, he was such a fuck-up.

"Hey." Danny's voice was too quiet for the yelling that Adam had expected. "Hey, it's alright, man. None of what happened today is your fault, except that Flack didn't accidentally kill those cops, alright? That's the only thing."

"Yeah, alright," he answered.

"I mean it, Adam."

"Yeah, well." Adam sighed and nodded, not quite believeing it but willing to let Danny think he did. He took a swig of his beer to give him a second to work out the next words in his head. "I'm just- I'm really, really sorry you got hurt."

"I wasn't the only one, right?" Danny stiffened when the younger didn't reply. "Listen, Ross. Adam, look at me." Adam met his eyes, but kept his face turned partly downward. He knew he was pigheaded- that was usually the reason his dad would...you know. Hit him. It always hurt less if he could curl away quickly- the sudden serious tinge in Danny's voice letting him know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, how the night would turn out.

He should have just stopped talking, but it was already too late to take it back; thank God he was already in a hospital.

"Adam, I wish you hadn't been there at all, alright?" Danny intoned, his face ashen.

Because I'm such a walking mistake, Adam thought hopelessly.

"If I could, God. I'd take every hit for you, alright?" Danny leaned in closer, strengthening their eye contact, which Adam's genuine shock made all the more easy.

"I-" Adam stuttered. How do you respond to that?

"I'm talking present, future, and past, man." Danny nodded, straightening up and reapeating, more to himself than Adam, "Especially past." The older man ran a hand through his hair and looked at the young lab tech next to him, who had completely forgotten his defensive position and was staring at the bespectacled man, eyes wide and questioning. "I'm serious, Adam. There's so much...God." He broke off and drained the last sip from his beer before setting the empty bottle on the night table. "There's so much I wish I could do for you. And the others. You know, I-" He stopped, and glanced sidelong at Adam. "I'm gonna tell you somethin', but only if you swear to God you won't talk about it. Or respond. I mean it," he continued, facing Adam a little more. "As soon as it comes outta my mouth that's as far as it goes, capeche?"

Adam nodded, wary.

Danny turned forward so Adam couldn't meet his gaze and wet his lips. "I'm not sayin' this to be, like, noble or some shit like that. That's Don's department. I'm sayin' this cause it's true, and I feel like you should know it, alright?" Adam wasn't sure if Danny could even see him, but he nodded nonetheless and Danny continued. "I want you to know- I'd fuckin' die for you, Adam." The statement was simple and sincere and, above all, profound. Adam stopped breathing. "And the world would be better for it, you understand me?" When he didn't get a response, he turned and met the young man's eyes. "Understand?" Adam nodded, disbelief etched into his features. Why would someone like Danny say something like that...about him?

Danny gave a swift nod, the kind people do when they feel they've finished something. A sort of 'and that's that' for body language. He sat back and looked down at his hands, not uncomfortable in the least, as if that was the sort of thing people in New York routinely said to one another. Adam started to feel even more worthless than he had before, though, when he felt himself start to cry. Only a couple of tears, though, and he supposed that was something to be a little proud of.

He knew he'd promised not to talk about it, but he couldn't stop the small, broken, "Why?" that just.. slipped out. Danny sighed.

"I thought you promised we wouldn't have to talk about it?" he half-smiled, doing his best to let Adam know that if he really needed to talk, he'd be willing to give all the younger man would need to take. And more, really.

Danny turned to face his friend and the smile swiftly slipped from his face at the sheer confusion and pain on Adam's. Adam felt Danny pull the half-empty bottle from his grasp, and heard him set it on the table, but couldn't see through the haze of tears. Maybe turning down the painkillers hadn't been a wise choice.

There was a strong, oddly gentle hand suddenly wrapped around the back of his neck, pulling him toward the older man. Danny kissed him just beneath his temple before tucking his head under his chin carefully, like it was the most natural thing in the world. Both strong arms were wrapped around him, and he felt control slipping away from him at an alarming rate.

"Why?" Danny restated, tightening his hold as Adam's shaking became more pronounced. "'Cause you're worth it, Adam, alright?" Adam felt another kiss, just on the back of his head, and then a third. "And don't you ever fuckin' let anybody tell you you aren't." Adam drew in air for all he was worth and gripped Danny's shirt like it was the only thing grounding him to Earth as he cried.