Stripper Gram

"Blah"-speaking

Italics- thoughts

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

Summary: "Just promise me you won't overreact" Sakura pleaded on the phone to her boyfriend. "Why? What's wrong" Sasuke said his sharingan already coming into action. "Well, it's just that there and strippers at Ino's bachelorette party" Then, there was a very long beep, and the line went dead.

Sakura didn't even remember how she got into this predicament.

Here she was, surrounded by a bunch of her very drunk, very committed, very loud friends, and her surrounded by a bunch of half naked men.

Ok yes, this would be any woman's dream, to have a bunch of hot male strippers around her and giving them their full attention.

It wasn't though

Sakura was in an extremely serious relationship with one Uchiha Sasuke, who was known for his possessive nature. She wasn't the only one who was in a relationship. Oh no, all the whooping, cheering girls around her were in serious relationships.

Hinata with Kiba

TenTen with Neji

Temari with Shikamaru

Ino with Naruto

Hell! Ino and Naruto were engaged! This was actually her bachelorette party, and yeah ok Sakura expected for her friend to be loud, and yes she expected them to get wasted but what she didn't expect was when two men came to the door. This was actually how it went:

It was around 6:00 at night when the doorbell rang and Sakura, being the good hostess she was answered it. There stood two gorgeous, model worthy men stood at the doorway wearing a delivery outfit and holding a box of pizza each.

At first, Sakura was extremely confused, she didn't order any pizza, so she turned to her friends and asked them, her voice filled with confusion and turned to her friends. Ino, who was already drunk and seeing pink elephants, just looked confused while the rest of the girls were smiling mischievously. Even shhy, little Hinata had some mischief in her eyes.

"Ino" TenTen began while Hinata was giggling. "This is your marriage gift"

Ino, god help her, was too wasted to even know what was going on. She blinked with a dazed gaze at the two men and just stared.

"Well Ino" Temari said nudging her in the side, "Aren't you going to open your gift?" she said with a sly grin on her face.

"Temari, for god's sake" Sakura said exasperated. "Why are the three of you so horny?" She sighed and flopped on the couch and turned towards the two male strippers who were beginning to look a tad uncomfortable. "Did you two at least bring a pizza?" She asked the two men who just gave her a dumbfounded look.

"Um….no, we didn't" The blonde stripper replied the blonde while the brunette opened the box and revealed an empty container.

Sakura sighed and stood up and strode up to the two model-like men. "So pretty much you two are useless" she said with a void of emotion.

The two men looked at each other, completely baffled and the brunette male replied uncertainly "Well we don't usually are asked if we actually brought a pizza".

Temari and TenTen shoved Sakura out of the way and simply turned on the radio.

"Just so you know, THAT will be the ONLY talking you'll be doing during this time starting now" TenTen yelled while hooking arms with Hinata, Sakura, and Ino.

"Oh yes boys now SHOW US SOME SKIN" Temari yelled while the rest of the girls yelled and whooped.

"Forgive them lord for they are very drunk" Sakura said looking up at the sky. "For they do not know what they are doing and will have a wicked hangover that will make them say that they will never drink again, even though we know they do not mean it".

Her prayers though, were drowned by loud music and a bunch of screams that echoed all throughout the walls of the room.

Sasuke was bored.

He was completely not amused by his friend's antics of hiring a stripper for Naruto's bachelor party. Truthfully, the girl wasn't much to look at, even if he was comparing her to his pink cherry blossom whose beauty was impossible to match.

He stood outside the club, sipping on his drink while rolling his eyes at the yells he heard all throughout the disgusting strip joint. Their girlfriends are going to kick their asses once I tell them he thought while giving his trademark smirk just imaging the girls wrath to their boyfriends. Good thing Sakura doesn't know about this he thought with a sigh.

"TEME!" what are you doing out here? The party's in here!" Naruto yelled, coming to the outside with a beer in one hand and a pair of panties in the other.

"Shut up dobe, you're going to be in a shitload of trouble once Ino finds out" Sasuke said while not even looking at Naruto while telling him all this.

"First off Teme, It's my bachelor party and I'll do anything I want" Naruto said with dignity while pushing out his chest. "Plus, I told Ino before we came" Naruto whispered and avoided Sasuke's eyes.

Sasuke smirked at his friend's whipped manor, but stopped and looked at Naruto. "What do you mean you told Ino?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto looked at Sasuke confused, "All of us told the girl's we were going, so they wouldn't be pissed at us" he explained, and stopped when he saw his friend's face. "You didn't tell her did you" Naruto asked slowly suddenly extremely entertained by his friend's gob smacked facial expression.

Sasuke slowly shook his head and asked, "What did they say?" completely flummoxed by this.

Naruto just looked at the club and back to Sasuke, "They were actually pretty cool with it, because TenTen and Temari said they already had their entertainment and wouldn't worry about what we were doing" he shrugged "So why should I complain, I mean I love Ino, but this is my one night of the last night of my freedom and I don't want to waste it by sitting out here with you"

Sasuke scoffed but understood where the dobe was going with this It's not like Sakura is doing anything like this. He walked back into the club with Naruto with the last thought of I'd kill those motherfuckers.

It was a mess of drunk girls, naked men, and loud music.

Sakura thought they were at a frat party.

This was NOT a bacholrette party anymore. Over the course of an hour it had turned into a drunk fest while said men were dancing on the table. Her friends weren't acting any better though.

Ino had a lampshade on her head

Temari had the brunnette's G-string on

TenTen with the blonde's G-string

Hinata on the table dancing with them

Thankfully, none of these girls had crossed the line of cheating yet but each and every time, a girl was getting closer. Luckily, they also stopped each time they were going to do something that would step over that boundary.

"TenTen come over here" Sakura said while grabbing the bun girl's hand and dragging her across the room.

"What is it Sakura?!" TenTen yelled right in the cherry blossom's ear.

"I'm right here TenTen" Sakura said while rubbing her head. "Even at the risk of you being drunk and not understanding one word of this I need to ask it; what are you going to do when the guys find out about this?" completely nervous about her friend's boyfriends knowing about this.

TenTen shook her head slightly to try to make it less foggy and replied groggily, "Don't worry Sakura, I told Neji and Naruto, Temari told Shikamaru, Hinata told Kiba, It's all good".

Sakura, expecting to add one more name onto that list of explanation simply looked at TenTen and asked, "What about Sasuke?"

TenTen looked at Sakura puzzled, "Didn't you tell him?"

Sakura simply shook her head, her eyes now wide with fear.

TenTen at that moment completely lost all looks of drunkness in her features and it was completely taken over by a look of pure shock. "Sakura you didn't tell him" she hissed while grabbing the pinkette's arm. "How could you not tell him about this?!"

"Well how was I supposed to know you were going to bring freaking strippers to Ino's party!" Sakura hissed back. This was hardly her fault, she was harmlessly minding her own business when the two men came in and WHOOSH everything changed.

"I sent you a text message, didn't you get it?"

Sakura just smacked her large forehead and replied, "TenTen my phone has been missing for two months"

TenTen just looked at her and could only reply with an "Oh".

"Oh god" Sakura said desperately, "What am I going to do?"

TenTen grabbed her cell phone from off the living room table and shoved it in Sakura's hands. "You are going to call him and tell him, ease into it don't just out right say it, you've got to butter him up and then tell him so he'll barely even listen"

Sakura was still unsure, this was Sasuke, the most possessive man in the world Sasuke. It was worth a try though, dialing his number she walked outside of her house and proceeded to pray that she would get his voicemail.

"Hello?" Sakura heard her boyfriend's voice fill the receiver and silently cursed everything around her. "Sakura is that you?"

"Hi Sasuke" Sakura said putting a smile on her face, even though he couldn't see it.

"Why are you calling?" Sasuke asked, clearly confused as to what was going on?

"Well I just called because I needed to tell you something" She began and cringed at the tone of her voice, she even sounded guilty.

"Why?" Sasuke asked immediately listening even more concentrated.

"Just promise me you wont overreact" Sakura pleaded to her boyfriend.

"Why? What's going on Sakura" Sasuke asked his sharingan coming into action.

"Well you see" Sakura began slowly trying to ease into the conversation, "Temari and TenTen set up the entertainment for the night and well I didn't know that they were doing that so I had no idea about any of this so it's completely not my fault" She was rambling, but she didn't care, more than likely Sasuke was going to get mad and she really didn't want that.

"Sakura just tell me" Sasuke demanded and was waiting impatiently for the answer.

"Well, it's just that there and strippers at Ino's bachelorette party" Sakura said and closed her eyes, waiting for him to blow up.

Instead though, there was a very long silence, no noise, no breathing.

Nothing.

Then, the line went dead.

Sakura simply looked at the phone, looked up, and realized what just happened. "SHIT" she yelled and rushed inside the house

This was bad

No, understatement, this was worse than bad.

It wasn't that the living room was a complete mess, that Ino was lying sprawled across the couch with a liquor bottle, it wasn't even the fact that her lamp was broken along with a lot of her dishes.

It was the fact that her boyfriend was coming over.

To find two male strippers in her house

Oh lord, there will be bloodshed tonight.

"Ok" Sakura said completely exhausted and pointed to the male strippers, "You two, gotta go" she said while pointing to the door.

Both men looked at her and she realized, they were drunk. Of all the times to be drunk, they've have to be now she thought completely feeling defeated.

The men both stared at her and simply smirked. Both of then strode up to either side of her and put their arms around her.

"Girl, why are you acting so uptight?" The blonde said while rubbing his hand up and down her arm.

"Yeah sweetheart, I bet we can loosen that tension" the brunette said while slowly putting his head down on her neck and kissing it softly.

"Get off of me you perverts" Sakura yelled and tried to pry the boys off of her.

"Oh come on baby, we'll show you a good time" the brunette said while starting to try to unbottom her top.

"Yeah, I real good time" The blonde said while starting to hike up her skirt.

"Get off of my girlfriend you filthy motherfucking bastards" A deep voice came behind them and before Sakura could blink, they were thrown into the wall making a huge hole there.

Sasuke wasn't done yet, just as he was about to lunge at the two poor men he was pulled back by Sakura. "What the hell are you doing Sakura? These men were trying to harass you" Sasuke demanded. He wanted to see them in pain. He wanted to see them beg for forgiveness for touching what was his.

"Sasuke" Sakura sighed and hooked her arms around Sasuke's waist and leaned her head against his chest. "I am so exhausted right now, I don't even want to do anything but just go to sleep"

Sasuke nodded but simply pulled her closer. "Well I'm sorry to hear that Sakura" Sasuke said in complete calm manner, "Because I had different plans".

Sakura sighed aloud and lifted her head up to look at Sasuke's face. "I know you wanted to beat the crap out of those guys but honestly Sasuke…" she began but was cut off by Sasuke.

"That's not what I meant" Sasuke said while pulling Sakura closer and leading her to her bedroom.

"Then what do you mean?" she asked while willingly being tugged by her boyfriend.

Sasuke simply smirked, leaned down to whisper the words that always made Sakura shiver in excitement and anxiousness.

"Because we won't be doing much sleeping tonight"