(Spoilers: 5x06 "Joy".)

With The Tide

The pain in her eyes is what compels him to do it. In the past several hours she has lost so much, has watched it slip between her fingers like grains of sand being pulled back into the ocean with the tide.

She has been there for every moment it took, each and every agonising moment, that it slid from her grasp and into another's.

And he has cut her down at every turn.

He is part of the reason for her pain. He did nothing but contribute to it.

He has to do something, anything, to make her feel better and to dispel his guilt if only for a moment. It's only right that he does so.

And so he kisses her.

He isn't surprised when she kisses him back, actually leans into the kiss, and he's not surprised at how desperate it is, hands grasping, mouths clashing, tongues meeting and memorising. She needs this as much as he does.

What shocks him is how he feels.

He is still wracked with guilt – a simple kiss can not hope to wash away her pain for more than a few seconds – but there is something more. A longing.

They break apart slowly and it's all too much. He needs time, time to think.

What does this all mean? What is this longing?

He stares into her eyes for a moment and searches for an answer in them. They are as conflicted as his own.

He has to leave. Now.

"Goodnight," he mumbles. He abruptly turns and heads for the door, leaving her behind.

Only when he's outside does he wonder.

Did she feel it too?

fin.