Hello everyone! It's been quite a while since I posted anything and this will be my first ever FF12 related fanfic. Everyone needs to thank Ivalician Bladesmith for bringing Random Bits to FF12. This is a sort of Pilot Bit, since I have never written anything for the FF12 universe, so there are sure to be bugs to be worked out. I'm trying to appy personalities to characters who didn't really have much to begin with. Well, I shouldn't say it that way. It's hard to see characters full personality when the situations they are in are mostly the doom and gloom of a world at war. I will work on personalities as I go, so don't worry if your favorite character seems a little off. And again Thank You Mr. 'Smith!

Happy reading!

Oh, yeah, please send me your thoughts and notes on what I got wrong.

FF12: Random Bits 00

Chapter 1

:Setting - Vaan, Penelo, Fran, and Balthier, struck with a bad case of loneliness, have decided to have a reunion (not the kind where anyone is infected with cells and the whole city is attacked by Remnants, just a plain old reunion of friends). They have invited their companions and are seeing to the preparations.:

:Location - Rabanastre -The Sandsea - Mid morning -Our heroes are busy decorating The Sandsea and seeing to the dinner preparations. Ashe, Basch, and Larsa have not yet arrived. Everyone is working very hard…Well, almost everyone.:

Vaan stood unsteadily on the top rung of the rickety ladder that a bangaa was holding for him. He stretched, but was unable to reach the top of the loft's iron railing. From where he was lounging at a table with his feet up, Balthier could see the boy thinking. The fastidious young pirate knew what was going to happen, so he settled down to watch. Vaan was so predictable. It would do no good to tell him that he could have just tied them on from the loft.

The orphaned teen held the bundle of sparkly streamers in his mouth and, against all common sense, stood with one foot on one end of each stringer (that's the vertical part of the ladder, if you didn't know). It was about that time that physics took over and a combination of pressure, directional forces, gravity, and very old wood caused the ladder to fall apart. His bangaa helper fled as ladder debris rained down, leaving Vaan balancing on what looked like Ivalice's crummiest stilts.

Blathier, who had lifted nothing heavier than a wine glass since arriving (because the leading man never does any kind of manual labor), raised his glass in salute. He had seen a lot of stupidity in his day, but this was by far, some of the stupidest. He watched in utter amazement as his young apprentice managed, for a few seconds, to stay balanced. Then amidst cries and grunts of alarm, his legs began to wobble as his subconscious handed him the reigns of Self-Preservation.

The brain is a wonderful organ that can process thousands of signals on a subconscious level, and react to them before you can blink. Most of the time humans aren't even aware that it's happening. It does things like process sounds, changes in pressure, sights, smells, and disturbances in the magnetic field, then reacts by sending nerve impulses that raise your arm in time to deflect a bird that has flown off course from colliding with your head. Then you say something like 'Wow! That was lucky!' and turn right into the rest of the flock, because now that you are aware of the danger, the subconscious turns things over to you.

Now that Vaan was in total control of his body again, he did what most people do, he panicked. His arms whirled around as if they were trying to make a jump for safety on their own, while his legs fought to keep from going horizontal. There was a bad and very painful moment when they did, and it was a sight that would haunt Balthier and certain parts of Vaan for years to come. The boy somehow managed to avoid ending up with his knees beside his ears and brought his legs together with a 'clack!'.

Vaan had avoided The Great Divide, but in doing so had over balanced. The hume body was not the most balanced form in nature. In fact, the very act of walking was nothing more than an indefinitely postponed fall. As it was, the apprentice sky pirate could have fallen against the wall and grabbed the railing, which was now in reach. The trouble is, gods like a good laugh as much as the next omnipresent deity, so with streamers trailing from his mouth like a doomed comet, Vaan fell into Balthier instead.

Balthier rose from the tangled wreckage of wood and body parts with a groan. He gingerly touched the bump on his head and shoved one of Vaan's legs (it had to have been one of Vaan's, because if one of his own legs had been lying across his chest, he would be having problems very soon) off of him. It was a rather large lump of the variety that you didn't even need to touch to know that it was there. It was hard to miss in the way it's hard to miss the fact that someone has laid carpeting down over the cat. In Balthier's case it looked like a cactoid was in mid-sprout to one side of his forehead.

"Are you alright?" Fran asked quietly, pulling her partner to his feet, and wondering when he was going to notice the big maroon wine stains marring his vest and shirt.

"Yes, it's only a bruise." the dashing pirate replied, reassuringly as he prodded his affliction to make sure that 1) yes, it hurt, and 2) yes, it was huge.

"It's rather unsightly, but I've had…" Balthier trailed off. He had noticed the stains.

Balthier prided himself on his ability to appear immaculate, dashing, and posh whether he was robbing a tomb, fighting undead masses, sipping brandy, or all three at the same time. He had high personal standards to uphold and they included always, ALWAYS looking his best. The young man might have strategically withdrawn (a.k.a., run away), or come back empty handed, but he did it with style and a clean shirt. As far as Balthier was concerned, stains were something that happened to other people.

Fran waited patiently while her friend fussed over his clothes. The viera appeared to be quite concerned about the lump on her companion's head, and she had good reason. Head wounds could be serious things in her experience. They brought on any number of strange symptoms and side effects. Fran had once spent a week listening to Balthier babble about the pixies living in his eyebrows, and trying to convince him that his underpants were not to be worn as a cap. Once had been quite enough for her, not that Balthier remembered any of it.

After making sure that Vaan was okay, Penelo brought the smooth-talking pirate a damp towel. She was glad that Vaan was unhurt, aside from some mild groinal strain. He was pretty resilient and had already busied himself with helping several bangaas clean up the wreckage. If Balthier hadn't broken his fall, who knows what might have happened to him. Penelo turned to Balthier, who was arguing with Fran.

"The stains will never come out, you know." he sighed dejectedly.

"Don't worry," Penelo offered "If you give me your shirt and vest, I can get them washed for you before the stains set in."

"No,no! You don't have to. I couldn't possibly-!" Balthier began.

"Just give them to her!" Fran said sternly, in a tone that kicked argument out the door.

"Fran, Please! A Leading Man never disrobes in front-!"

"Now."

"Fine." Balthier grumbled, shrugging out of the stained clothing and handing them over. He took the proffered towel and began wiping himself off.

"That's for your head." Fran informed him.

"I'm just trying to get the wine off. I don't want to go around smelling like a drunk." Balthier retorted disdainfully. The viera waited. She knew what was coming next and mentally mouthed along as the sky pirate said "I don't suppose there's any place I can take a bath around here, is there?"

"Upstairs, in the owner's quarters." Penelo replied cheerfully as she took the clothes away. "Tomaj won't mind."

"That will do." Balthier replied, pleased. He opened his mouth, but before he could say anything, Fran interjected. "Yes, your spare clothes are right here." The viera pulled out a bundle and handed it to the vain pirate. It was nice having a magical space to store things in. It meant your weapons, and in Balthier's case, extra clothes, were always on hand. Fran just wished Balthier would carry his own things.

"Isn't she wonderful?" Balthier said charmingly to the room at large as he headed upstairs.

Vaan watched Balthier swagger away and, not for the first time, wondered about the relationship between the pirate and the viera. He still didn't know how they had met, or gone into pirating together, but there seemed to be a great deal of trust and respect between the two. They always seemed to know what the other was thinking or needed, and could spring into action with just a look or nod. At first, Vaan had been convinced that there was something deeper than mere partnership or friendship between Balthier and Fran. A bunny girl in a skimpy outfit and a dashing young sky pirate that were just friends was hard for him to believe. Rava viera like Fran had begun mingling with veena Viera and even humes, so it wasn't that wild of a conclusion.

Vaan was confused at first, after noticing that Balthier never insulted Fran with flattery, or by using her to keep his charm skills sharp. His compliments always seemed sincere and he never argued with her. Well, he never argued with her for very long. In the end, Vaan had put it down to the fact that the viera could kick like a battle stallion and wore double pronged stiletto heels that could deal serious, and probably permanent, damage to male anatomy. Come to think of it, that probably explained why you didn't see any male viera in the village…

Vaan looked up from his musings to see Penelo and Fran deep in serious conversation. The boy suddenly stiffened, noticing the hunched forms and tense whispering. It was no normal conversation he was witnessing. This was a conspiratory huddle. Usually, when friends went into this type of huddle, it meant that someone was going to get some humorously cruel, and well-deserved attention. Mischief was afoot. Vaan hurried over.

Fran gave Penelo a covert nod as Balthier came downstairs adjusting his cuffs and whistling. He struck a pose at the foot of the stairs and said " I clean up rather well, don't you think?"

"Yes, aside from the lump." Fran replied. Balthier frowned at the unnecessary reminder. He'd had plenty of time to notice how huge the goose egg was when he'd checked his eyebrows in the bathroom mirror. "Come sit." Fran said, helpfully steering the man to a nearby chair. "We have something that will help your injury."

"Will it remove the horrid thing marring my good looks?" Balthier inquired, just incase someone, in the last five minutes, had invented a way to remove boulder-sized bruises.

"No, but it will bring down the swelling." Penelo said, opening a jar of ointment and handing it to the viera. "Sit." Fran repeated, pushing the pirate into the chair. Balthier was a little suspicious. His past experiences with in-field wound care had consisted of finding a way to cover, wrap, or plug a wound while standing or, ideally, running for your life. Later, once the hubbub had died down, you did it up yourself unless you couldn't reach it (or were short handed on account of you didn't grab your hat fast enough when the wall came down). Suddenly having Fran ask him to sit down for her made Balthier uneasy. But, then again, how often did a bunny girl ask you to sit for her while she put her hands on you? Balthier relaxed a little as his Ego nudged Caution aside and leaned back expectantly. "Having my wounds tended by lovely ladies, eh? I should get hurt more often." he teased.

From his perch by the bar, Vaan made a disgusted noise as Fran shook her head wearily and said "Just close your eyes."

:Location - Rabanastre -The Royal Palace - Close to noon -Ashe has ditched her guards, the Palace, and her advisors and is on her way to meet Basch and Larsa at the Aerodrome.:

Ashe, dressed in plain clothes (the normal disguise for royalty) to avoid attention, strolled purposefully into the Aerodrome. Her advisors had been against her going into public alone, and had been vehemently against her associating with sky pirates, where she might be robbed, kidnapped, or undressed by the eyes of unscrupulous people (like sky pirates). But Ashe would hear none of it. She was a princess about to be Queen, and she could jolly well do what she pleased, and the dusty old geezers on her advising Council would just have to jolly well like it!

The guards a the palace gates had given her a little trouble…

"I'm sorry, Princess, but we can't allow you to go out unescorted." One of the guards had said, stepping forward to bar her path. "You would refuse the wish of King Raminas' royal heir?" Ashe had asked with royal incredulity (which is more dangerous that regular incredulity seeing as it is often accompanied by a stony silence which is followed by the phrase 'Off with his head!' , or 'Take him to the dungeons!').

The harried guard rallied and replied "Oh no, Princess! It is not our place to tell you what to do. But what would we tell the Council if they found out that we saw you leave with out proper protection? Some churl might try to undress you with his eyes!" Ashe could think of one person who fit that description and probably had done it many times already, and he was currently at the Sandsea, helping Vaan and Penelo. She handled the problem by saying "Then, as your future Queen, I command you not to see me leaving."

The guard shifted uneasily, weighing his options. On the one hand, it was his duty to protect the future Queen and the Royal Council, who supplied his wages, would not be happy to find that he had allowed the princess to go traipsing about without bodyguards or even worse, their permission. On the other hand, he had just been given a direct order by said princess and disobeying could not only ruin his chances for promotion, but bring his career to a very terminal end. The guard squirmed wretchedly under Ashe's gaze, then turned slowly to his companion, and said carefully "Did you just hear something?"

The other guard, who was a little brighter than his friend, and determined to have a long military career involving promotions and living to see those promotions, replied "No, sir. And I didn't SEE nuthin' neither, sir."

"That's the spirit gentlemen!" Ashe said brightly, slipping through the gates. Manic with relief, the second guard nudged his companion and leered. "There it was again, sir, but I can't see where it's coming from." The first guard sniffed in a bored manner and said "Must have been a bird. The little devils are everywhere."

More to come soon!