Author's Note: I'm definitely not the first writer to explore the Yuga Mountain plot arc, or the Golden Hotpod. In fact, I understand that bonus materials exclusive to Japan have worked up a Golden Hotpod story. (However, it's outside of the game, so I tell myself that, like mangas, it's not canonical and still open to fanficcers. Whether or not that argument makes sense is something else entirely.) This fic is just my take on both.

Disclaimer: Soul Nomad and the World Eaters is the property of Nippon Ichi Software. The Golden Hotpod is the property of Gig if he ever finds it. Rating is for offensive language, violence and suggestive themes.

This story is totally separate from my previous Yuga Mountain story, "Flirting With Death". It is only two chapters long.

AN: I'm adding a special note to my SN stories to apologize for the use of some slurs in Gig's dialogue (possibly elsewhere in the stories, but that's where I remember them occurring). I'm going to let the text stand for the record, but I should've avoided them when I originally wrote the stories, and I'm very sorry for using them.

Waiting for Death

1

You seriously wanna just take this?

"Hussy!"

I'm not enjoying it either. But I don't want to get tied up in a fight, okay?

"Slut!"

Kid, I don't know about you, but I am not used to shrugging this sort of vocabulary off.

Gig-

"Vixen!"

Shit, "vixen" already. Next step's going to be "whore", right?

Hey, I don't normally get called these things either. Let's just go.

You see me lingering with all my devoted groupies?

"SCARLET WOMAN!"

"Damn," Gig muttered once they were out of ear shot. "It's not the 'scarlet' that pisses me off as much as the 'woman'."

"I'm surprised the entire village chased us out like that," the kid commented. "You'd think they'd never seen a bit of cleavage."

"Chaste, chased. It's an old pun. You work with it." Though he took a moment to, once again, rebutton his shirt, knowing it was only a matter of time before the buttons worked their way free. Sure, the kid had suggested they stop at her room before they left and get one of her shirts, it being accustomed to Gig's new needs, but he hadn't wanted to stop for anything. "Screw that village. We'll find supplies on our own."

"So we're going to forage?" came the kid's voice from his own throat. He was starting to become used to it. In some ways, it wasn't too different from their great saving the world spree; in other ways, it was more purgatory than he could ever imagine. The kid's voice jolted him again out of his brooding. "Hoard nuts like squirrels?"

"Feeling bitchy, huh? C'mon, at least we aren't going to have a time of month." His skin went cold, like the prelude to a fever sweat. "Merciful hell, we'd better not."

The kid didn't answer.

"Or are you savoring the joys of being schlepped around in someone else's body? Not so much fun, is it?"

"And I can't even tempt you to use my awesome godlike powers." Her voice sound marginally more resigned. "I'd forgotten it was this far to Yuga. Which is stupid, seeing as we've been there and back again in three days."

Gig flicked red (red) strands of hair out of his red (RED) eyes. But that wasn't the worst of it. At least in their last fusion, no one had had to go through the indignity of being some androgynous sideshow reject.

I know, the kid said, speaking directly into his thoughts. I'm suffering too.

The road was climbing uphill, towards the Yuga Mountains. Gig stopped and braced his leg against a boulder, crossing his elbows on it to rest a moment. "Hell. We aren't suffering as much as that wench will. And the stupid cow. And the geriatric Redflank."

"But Grunzford's the only one who knew how to break the curse. If he hadn't told us, we'd be..."

"Yeah, but no one said he had to tell us in front of the whole friggin' world! Crap, I do not need the cow patty holding this over my head." As the kid didn't reply, Gig stretched and started walking again. "What sort of tests did he mean, anyway?" Gig tipped his head back towards the sky, thinking. He wasn't going to say it, but all he could imagine was some sort of obstacle course...Nah. Maybe some crackpot Q & A session... Shit.

"You-" The kid's voice cut off, and for some reason she shifted to telepathy. You think we can do this?

He shrugged. "What's harder than saving two worlds? We already did that."

Yeah, but...this doesn't involve destroying things with sharp weapons and large explosions.

Gig raised his eyebrows. "Maybe it does. Maybe all we have to do is combine our twu wuv and shellac a dragon or something."

"Like with Raksha?"

"Yeah, like - no. Raksha wasn't about true love."

"Well, it was about unifying our wills." She paused. That may be the best we can hope for.

"Such confidence in your soulmate, kid."

She didn't hesitate this time. "You want me to think of you being in touch with your romantic side?"

"Point taken." Gig noticed some leaves along the side of the road. "Sweet! Wild hotpods!"

After a moment, he heard the kid laugh in his head. Yeah, okay. We'll bank on our shared love of hotpods. Maybe that'll fool the Tear into thinking we're passionate lovers.

The road vanished after three hours, and from there, it was rough half-walking, half-climbing much of the way. They bivouacked at sunset, Gig setting up his tent, which he'd brought for their initial trip up the mountain; much of the kid's gear had been left at the Village. Gig lit a fire that was more to ward off animals than anything else - too small to cook, see or really be warmed by. He then stretched on his back in front of the tent, arms behind head, ankles crossed. "You've been awfully quiet. Worn out from all the excitement?"

There was a short silence before she spoke. "What did you use to do when you were bored? When you were inside of me."

He laughed. "What else? Bother you." He reached to his belt and pulled out his small knife, examining its edge. "This isn't the thrill of your life? Being inside the magnificent body of the magnificent Gig?"

"Funny, this doesn't exactly seem to be your body..."

"Shut up about the rack, kid," Gig snapped. "If you think I haven't noticed it, you're-"

"I was in your body such a short time before," the kid went on. "I didn't realize how...confining-"

"Brilliant you are."

"-it must be. I thought I was the one who was really suffering."

"Great mind." Gig replaced the knife. "One of these days, you'll give the cow a run for her money."

"Ahoy there!" called a male voice.

Gig rolled smoothly into a sitting position, one hand resting - just so - on the haft of his scythe. But beyond that he remained still as a thickset shadow approached the firelight. What do you think? he asked. Fool him or just freak him out beyond belief?

Are you really going to listen to what I say? If we can fool him, maybe he'll give us some supplies. If we freak him out - nothing.

As if on cue - maybe the kid had found a way to cause it - his stomach rumbled. Talk away, dearest.

"Hey," the kid said as their visitor stepped into view. From the bad light provided by the fire, they could see that he was close to middle aged, a scruffy brown beard covering his chin and his hair hanging in a long ponytail. He leaned on a battered spear and had a haversack over one shoulder.

"You don't meet many travelers on this road." His voice was rough, like he didn't use it much.

Gig drummed his fingers on the scythe haft. Don't invite him to share our fire.

It's just polite when you're traveling. Besides, he may have food.

Then let's knock him out and-

Gig- Then there was a silence. Actually, there isn't anything I can do to stop you, is there?

The man had already sat down, easing his limp haversack to the ground. "Where you headed, miss? There ain't much out here."

Gig bared his teeth at the "miss", which made the kid's calm tone all the more incongruous. "Just traveling. Um. Seeing the world."

Damn, you were never good at lying.

At least I don't give it away by laughing.

No, you just give it away by being yourself.

"Still, lots of wild critters around." He raised his scraggly eyebrows. "Beasts that would rip a young thing like you to ribbons."

"Well..." Her voice was vague.

"Seems to me" - the man leaned forward - "someone like you needs protection. All alone - the dark mountains." He smiled. "I've lived in these mountains apace, and...I gotta tell you, it's a long time since I've shared a fire with such a pretty girl."

"Pretty?" Gig snarled.

The man blinked, hard.

"Um-" the kid started.

"No, no, kid, I'll handle this," Gig interrupted, swinging to his feet, scythe in hand. "First of all, what's a backwater, inbred shitwad like you doing picking up girls in the middle of nowhere? Second, where the hell do you get off mistaking me for one? And barring all that, how dare you imply that I need protection?"

The man had scrambled to his feet, goggling - quite unabashedly - at Gig's chest. "You're a - you're a-"

"I'm pissed is what I am, and you're about to be a corpse with a scythe shoved up its - Damn, he ran fast."

"You can't really blame him for thinking..."

"Hell yes, I can." Snorting, Gig settled himself back down. "I did not come up here to be propositioned by hermits."

Another pause. "If you have to look like a girl, aren't you glad you're a pretty one?"

Crap, she was jibing him. Crap, crap, crap - "Crap!" Gig angsted into the night. "I'm sleeping on rocks out in the middle of nowhere, I have no more food, and I'm a friggin' hermaphrodite!" When the kid didn't answer, he snapped, "Well?"

He needed her consent (and vice versa) to read her thoughts, but he sensed her consciousness slowing down. Aren't you tired?

"Shit," Gig grumbled. "Fine, go to sleep. Bring me back a souvenir from La-La Land."

As expected, he didn't get much sleep that night.

He didn't say so, but Gig wasn't entirely sure he'd be able to find his way back to that fateful tombstone. After all, it had been night when their unhappy union began. But after only a few false trails, they came to the monument around noon, its skewed angles unforgettable. He stopped, and for a long moment they just stared at it.

"Our life," Gig said, "has been screwed over by a slab of granite."

"The Crimson Tear, actually," the kid said.

"Makes no difference." He glanced around. "You see any tests?"

"I see what you see." The kid was in one of her unhelpful moods.

Gig sighed, spurring his brain into action. Tests of true love... All he could see were potential tests of true mountaineering. "How about this?" he said blandly. "I'll carve our initials on this rock. Will that be proof enough?"

They stared at the tombstone.

"Try it on a different rock," the kid said.

"You took me seriously?"

"We may as well start trying."

It took some time - in fact, it took a quarter hour - just for Gig's knife to shallowly scrape white lines across a boulder. He wrote a G, then an R, then drew a hotpod around them. Then turned to the tombstone and raised an eyebrow.

The kid hadn't spoken in awhile. Irritated, Gig called her on it. I just...she said after a moment. I think the stone knows we're faking.

"Faking, huh?" Gig jammed the knife back into its sheath. "You saying you aren't crazy for me?" The kid didn't answer, but he hadn't expected her to. He wasn't sure if it were an eye-rolling silence or an embarrassed silence. And he wasn't about to ask.

Especially because a pain shot through him, from his stomach straight into his brain. He dug his fingers into the ground, sucking in his breath. The kid made no sound, but he could feel her mind, tense as a vise, and his body trembled, harder and harder, like it was trying to shake both of them loose.

Then it was gone. He almost pitched forward onto his face. "Shit! You all right, kid?"

No answer.

Damn - no. Not again. Kid!

Something shifted inside his head. What...was that?

You all right? Gig asked again.

Yeah. Then more firmly: Sure. You?

In answer, Gig stood, squeezing the muscles in his legs to keep them from shaking.

Was that a test?

"Some test," Gig shot back. "More likely, my body's going haywire with from all the crazy shit that's happened to it."

It was...sort of like when I lost my body. But much worse.

Gig frowned. With that tidbit of information, he couldn't argue that he was getting sick. Then he straightened and looked over his shoulder, to the far slope of the mountain.

I hear it too, the kid said. Footsteps.

Gig stooped and retrieved his scythe, coming up just as a figure appeared on the slope. Figure was what he noticed first, for it was a young woman, her long blonde hair loose and flowing over her traveling cloak. She stiffened when she saw him, one hand coming to her mouth.

Great, another hapless nobody steps into the fray.

Just let her go, Gig. We don't need trouble.

If she doesn't move soon, I'm going to help her along.

Slowly, the girl lowered her hand. "You...wow." She glanced at the tombstone. "It really works?"

Gig blinked. "Works? The hell? You call this" - and, without really noticing, he gestured to his chest - "working?"

"I'm sorry," the girl said, coming only a step forward. "It's just...I thought that was only a legend."

"Great, so now I'm legendary."

"Did-" The girl flinched. "Did your friend die?" She glanced around. "There must've been someone else, or I don't see how it could've triggered."

"Oh, she's fine," Gig replied. "Only cooped up inside my freakin' body, which, by the way, has seen better days. Say hello, kid."

"Do you know how to lift the curse?" the kid asked.

The girl chewed her nail, remarkably unsurprised. "No, but...maybe our village elder does. I mean, she's the one who always warned us about the stone." She laughed shortly. "I thought she was just threatening us not to come up here and snog."

"Spare us your reminiscences, girlie," Gig said. Just what we need, he added to the kid. A chat with another village elder. Hell knows how helpful our village elder is. Not even trying to look cheery, he sauntered over to the girl. Careful, kid. Be ready for traps.

"It's this way," she said, turning down the slope. After a moment, she glanced back. "My name's Eleni."

"Call us Gig."

"Or Revya," the kid put in.

"No, Gig,"Gig said. Gig's body, so we're being called Gig.

My mind's in your body. So we're just as much me as you.

No. It's still my body.

Your body with my coloring and-

It's still my body no matter how screwed up it is. Your body vanished. So be a good little soul squatter and pipe down.

She was quiet, and he thought he'd won the argument until she spoke again, tentative even in his thoughts. Gig?

What?

Do you really think my body's gone? For good?

How should I know? He could feel her mind slip away in uneasiness. Yeah, losing your body's no party. But hey, we lift this curse and everything'll be back to normal.

Will it?

What are you getting at?

Well, what if...you know, my soul leaves your body and...that's it?

Gig's steps slowed.

If my soul doesn't have a body to return to, then...

Gig's steps sped up again. If that were part of the curse, don't you think the Redflank would've mentioned it?

Maybe he didn't know.

Stop borrowing trouble, kid. Leave that to me.

Eleni led them to a small cluster of huts in the side of the mountain. Typically primitive, was Gig's reaction. It was nothing next to his old residence, Orviska Castle, and even the Hidden Village was palatial by comparison.

Eleni stopped in front of one of the huts and threw her cloak inside. "Wait here, please. I'll go talk to our elder." Gig leaned one shoulder against the side of the hut - thought better of it - straightened and watched her go.

Do you mind? the kid asked.

What?

I look at what you look at. So do you have to watch her butt like that?

Gig shrugged. Get over your inhibitions. Like I never had to put up with you checking out guys.

There was a brief silence. You seriously go for that type?

Kid, you don't need to go picking through my brain.

I just mean - you know. With the...long hair and...dress?

You saw that ass. Not surprisingly, the kid didn't reply. What, is my little soulmate jealous?

There was another silence. Sorry. I'm just worried, that's all. I'll try not to be so touchy.

That surprised Gig. He hadn't been fishing for apologies. Honestly, he didn't think she had much to apologize for; that's what had made teasing her so fun. Stop worrying. Damn, you're annoying.

She didn't answer.

Eventually, Eleni, hips swaying, returned. "The elder will see you. She's, uh..." Eleni ran her eyes up and down Gig's frame. "Very interested."

Gig fell into step beside her. "You all thought this was just some legend?"

"Well, yeah. You know." She shrugged. "Like, our parents always tell us not to go snog up at Hookman's point, because a ghost with a hook for a hand is supposed to guard it. And not to go fishing down at the lake, because there's a rabid squirrel man. And the Dark Forest - there's a tribe of inbred cannibals living there. And Jumping Razorface over at the gully. And-"

"And at the top of Yuga Mountain there's the Twisted Tombstone," an older woman's voice broke in. She strode towards them, wrinkly with long black hair. "Those who mock the dead will suffer a grievous fate." And she stared pointedly at Gig's bosom.

"Stop being mystical and tell us what to do," Gig advised.

"Such impatient words from one who has all his life ahead of him."

"Listen, you old bag, I remember things you couldn't even dream of, so don't talk down to me. In case you didn't notice, my body's been twisted, my friend's afraid she's lost her physical presence for good, and we're both starving. I suggest you cut to the point before I do the cutting for you."

The elder folded her hands. "The Tombstone dates to ancient times, where it was called the Stone of Salmacis-"

"Nix the history lesson." Gig angled his scythe forward, not exactly under the elder's chin, but close. Eleni sucked in her breath.

"Well, if you're that uninterested in the object that has cursed you, by all means. I suppose you want to know how to lift the curse?"

"Getting warm, lady. We heard something about a test of true love."

"Quite right. But that shouldn't be such a predicament, as you're already in this position."

Gig blinked. "What?" said the kid.

The elder gestured at the two of them. "This...fusion, I suppose. The Tear is bitter because of crossed love. If you two weren't already in love, it wouldn't have given you a second thought."