Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto
Hey everyone! I'm back! Finally... here's the new first chapter of How Much to Import a Shinobi :D Enjoy!
The Hokage looked thoughtfully out the window as she sipped her sake. Her village sprawled out in all directions. The sun was setting in the far west, casting it's orange glow over the peaceful town. The streets were alive with black figures running to and fro. The tower had been relatively silent for the most part. Shizune was ill and had stayed home and both Konohomaru and Naruto had been banned from the Hokage Tower for the week. She sighed and turned back to the unorganized piles of papers stacked on her desk. Grumbling, she reached for her seal as she read the mission request.
A slight tapping on her door drew her attention away from her work. "Come in!" she growled. The door creaked open and a strange figure slid in. It was an old man. He had a long beard, nearly to his knees, braided part of the way, and an odd looking pointed hat. His long silver dress swished quietly across the floor as he closed the door behind him.
"Are you the Hokage?" he asked politely, as he slid his spectacles up on his nose.
"Yes," she replied, eyeing him carefully. "How did you get in here?"
He looked momentarily confused. "I walked in, of course, how else do you expect one would get any place?"
"The guards didn't stop you?" she said warily, reaching for a kunai hidden under desk.
"Oh I assure you I am perfectly harmless, madam. I have come to hire some of your lovely ninjas for a mission. You are the one I speak to concerning such matters, correct?"
"I suppose," she answered, still carefully.
His wrinkled face lit up into a childish grin. "Delightful!" With a little bounce in his step, he sat perfectly uninvited into the chair across from her. "Allow me to introduce myself, my is name Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, but should I introduce myself the way you quaint Japanese do it would be Dumbledore Brian Wulfric Percival Albus. Fascinating culture you chaps have, I do say. What is that delicious noodle dish you have in that strange booth? Absolutely fascinating. I simply must get the recipe."
"What sort of mission do you have for us?" she asked, amused. The playful, mischievous gleam in his eye was reminiscent of Naruto.
He smirked. "You see, madam Hokage, I am not from this land, I'm not even from the Elemental Countries. I'm from the Outside."
She couldn't help but gasp. "There's no way!" she said, standing to her feet. "I helped reinforce that barrier myself! No one could get in!"
"I will confess that it was nearly impossible, at the risk of sounding arrogant, even for me, a wizard of large capacity. In fact, it involved quiet a bit of sorcery, a phoenix, and an old fork, but here I am. I've come to hire you to protect my magic school."
Lady Tsunade sat back down in her chair. "Magic school?" she demanded incredulously.
"I know, I know. It's been years since we magic folk have been in contact with you, an utterly intolerable shame I might add, but I hope to rectify that. You see I have a certain snake lord that I am having difficulties with."
She laughed boisterously. "You're not the only one Dumblydory-san!" she chortled.
"Ahem, as I was saying," he interrupted, a slight tick on his forehead, "his name is Voldemort and he is an extremely powerful wizard, so strong, in fact, that he could even kill me. I have of late come to the conclusion that we must, as the Muggles say, 'bring in the big guns', and so I have come here. I have this charming little magic school that I run, you see, and there I have a certain student named Harry Potter. He is the only person ever to survive a killing curse from Lord Voldemort. He is rather reckless and prone to finding himself in difficult situations, and I fear he will get himself killed one of these days. He is the only one that can defeat this Voldemort you see, and so I find that I must use all my resources to protect him. That's where you come in. I need some of your best ninja to come to my school and pose as student teachers. I am implementing a new physical exercise program and your students will teach it as well as attend a few of the other classes. That is the excuse, when in fact they will be guarding the school, especially Harry Potter. This should be enough." He spilled a bag full of gold coins. The Hokage's eyes widened as she touched the gold, confirming that there was no transformation jutsu.
"How many?" she asked suspiciously.
"Three or four."
She didn't find the need to tell him he had given her enough to hire the whole village. "It's a deal," she said quickly, reaching out and shaking his hand. She pressed a paging button on the desk. Moments later and a knock on the door revealed a jounin. He walked in and knelt respectively on the floor.
"Hokage-sama?" he asked, eyeing Dumbledore suspiciously.
"Fetch Cat, Mouse, Fox, and Dog," she ordered.
"Yes, Hokage-sama." Casting one last suspicious glance at the eccentric man, he left the room.
"So let me get this straight," Tsunade said. "You use these wands and incantations to perform magic? No physical energy or chakra involved?"
"Nope. But that difference between is probably why you shinobi are superior in strength and power… generally."
Tsunade refilled her sake glass. "Do you want some?" she offered, holding up her bottle.
"Sake, rice wine, correct? I'd love to try some, but only a little bit."
Fifteen Minutes Later…
The ANBU team walked through the halls leading to the Hokage's office. Two of them having a petty squabble, one of them attempting to calm the situation, and the other remained in an indifferent silence.
"Naruto! Animal summoning is a serious technique and is to be only used when needed! That's why you don't randomly summon Gamakichi and Gamatatsu for FUN!"
"Ne, ne, but Sakura-chan, I was bored," the over exuberant blonde whined.
"That's why Sai's here!" the pink-haired girl growled, cuffing the blonde on the back of the head, nearly knocking his fox mask off.
"You really shouldn't fight outside, the Hokage-sama's office," the thin, black-haired one said weakly. "You'll be in trouble again."
The fourth one ignored all three of them and knocked on the door. It was answered by a drunken laugh. The ANBU squad member tossed his long brown ponytail over his shoulder and sighed in defeat. His world was full of unprofessionalism. He opened the door and beckoned for his team to follow him. Still arguing they shoved past him. The unusual scene before them quickly silenced them. Their Hokage sat at her desk laughing uproariously with a man clothed in a silver dress. The two were obviously drunk from the presence of five empty sake bottles dripping on the desk. Their arms were slung around each other's shoulders and they appeared to be in the process of telling each other lewd jokes.
"And then the chick-" the Hokage giggled, "said 'I don't need any!'" The man laughed even harder, wiping tears of mirth from beneath his glasses with a corner of his dress.
The Hokage looked up. "Oh, it's you," she said dismally. "Way to spoil the fun." She coughed and wiped spilled sake off her overly large chest.
"You called?" Neji said carefully.
She hiccupped up and squinted at him. "I did. This, hic, lovely fellow here wishes to hire, hic, you four to come to his magic school and, hic, protect some kid." She laughed raucously. "Kid!" she laughed, whacking the old man rather hard.
"Magic?" Neji questioned skeptically.
"Yes, we haven't been in contact with them for, hic, many years." She got an evil glint in her eye. "And I'm not saying crazy things 'cus I'm drunk!" she shouted.
The ANBU captain decided to humor the inebriated Hokage. "Mission details?" he asked in an exhausted tone.
Naruto interrupted him and immediately pointed at the oddly dressed man. "Who are you? And why are in a dress?"
The man harrumphed. "I will have you know that this is a robe, and it is the height of fashion where I come from. You will all be required to wear them!"
"Ewy! I don't wanna dress up like some drag queen!" he complained.
A large red tick appeared on the Hokage's forehead. "Don't be an idiot, Naruto!" she roared, tossing a book at him.
Dumbledore looked at the team thoughtfully, despite being seriously drunk. "Please remove your masks and introduce yourselves, I'd like to get a look at my team," he said.
Their heads moved almost imperceptibly towards the Hokage, checking for confirmation. She waved her hand nonchalantly. "This is an undercover mission, you can't wear them." Hesitantly they removed their masks. The elderly wizard couldn't help but gasp at how young they were. "You all can't be more than fifteen."
"I am sixteen, sir," the brunette said in an offended tone. "My name is Hyuuga Neji." He gave a short, stiff, arrogant bow.
The next one was the pale, ebony-haired boy. His face was plastered with a fake smile. "I am Sai." He bowed respectfully.
Dumbledore raised his eyebrow curiously at the lack of last name, but said nothing.
The only female member of the team ran her fingers through her unruly pink mane. "I'm Haruno Sakura, at your service!" she said cheerfully, bowing also.
The fourth and final member of the team grinned mischievously and did a thumbs-up. "I am Uzumaki Naruto! Ramen lover, frog summoner, and future Hokage, believe it!" He forgot to bow.
"Fool!" shouted the Hokage, throwing a pencil at his head.
The wizard laughed. "You're all quite charming. You'll do an excellent job. Do you think you could all pass as seventeen year olds both in mannerisms and in appearance?" he questioned.
"We are all experts at henge jutsu," Sakura said tactfully.
"Henge jutsu?" he questioned.
"The ability to cast a genjutsu over yourself, changing your appearance," she explained.
"Could you possibly demonstrate this for me?"
She nodded and did a quick succession of hand signs "Henge no jutsu!" A poof of smoke hid her for a few seconds; when it cleared a perfect copy of Dumbledore stood there.
"Simply fascinating!" he breathed, circling her. "And I can sense absolutely no magic on her."
"Any skilled shinobi will be able to tell that it is a henge jutsu though," Sakura said as she transformed back.
"That will hopefully not be a problem," he said, adjusting his spectacles.
Tsunade tapped his shoulder and handed him a file. "This is basic information on these ninja." She handed a file to each ninja. "Mission briefing. You leave in an hour. Read this mission and get your gear. I don't need to tell you that this is top secret and you absolutely must not give any information away. Dismissed."
Reviews inspire me and give me hope!