Because: I got into a riddle fight with a friend of mine.
Characters/Pairings: Kaito Kuroba, Heiji Hattori, Conan Edogawa, Inspector Nakamori, OC (the judge). No pairings.
Summary: Kaito Kid's been caught and is currently going on trial! How will Kaito manage to escape this one? Oneshot.
Warnings: Logical randomness, slight cursing and a bitty bit of Nakamori-bashing but hey, it's about Kid! You can't have Kid without Nakamori-keibu bashing.
Disclaimer: The characters of Detective Conan and Magic Kaito are not mine. I nearly locked them in my closet, but Kaito got out somehow and freed the others as well… whan. Not my riddle either.
If KID Was Caught
The phone rang at the Mouri Detective Agency. The ringing filled the empty room - Ran was out food shopping and Kogoro was… well not even the greatest detective of all could have figured that one out - , the only sound to be heard, until the door opened.
Conan rushed to pick up the phone and managed to pick up on the last ring before the phone went to voice message.
"Moshi moshi?" tried the teen-gone-small detective, holding the phone to his ear.
"KUDO! Good, it's you!!" Conan winced and held the phone away from his ear. As far as Conan was concerned, Heiji was his own speaker-phone.
"Hattori?"
"Did you hear?!"
"I'd be surprised if I hear anything after this phone call." grumbled Conan under his breath.
"What?!"
"What are you talking about, Hattori?"
"KAITO KID!! They finally caught him! And here in Osaka too!!"
Conan's jaw dropped to the floor as he spluttered, "Wait… Kid?! Who caught him? You?!"
"Well, I helped." answered the phone, finally speaking at a relatively normal "inside" voice.
"Real convincing. But what happened?!"
"It started with super glue-"
"Wait. Hattori, do I even want to know?"
"Probably not."
Conan sighed impatiently into the receiver.
XxXxX
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. YEEESSS!!
The day had finally come. He, Inspector Nakamori, had finally, once and for all, officially caught THE Kaito Kid. Nakamori had been amazed at the fact that the plan had succeeded. Kid had come rather quietly too, his only request: he was allowed to keep his identity secret until after his sentence.
But there is a god after all!!
The inspector could hardly contain his joy as he skipped along his merry way to the courthouse.
"WHAT?!"
"We're sorry, sir, but no one is allowed in at this time."
"B-b-but I'm Inspector Nakamori! The inspector that caught the dmn Kid!!"
"We're sorry, sir, but we've been given orders."
Nakamori made a sour face as he marched off across the street to sit on a bench, mocking the police officer's voice the entire way - "We're sorry, sir, na na na!" - along with a variety of colorful words, fuming semi-silently as he waited for the court to come to a conclusion.
20 years, no 50! NO! LIFETIME!! MUA HA HA HA HAAA!! -choke- -cough- Bleehh…
XxXxX
The judge, a rather respected one at that, sat upon her chair, thinking about today's poor unfortunate soul while unconsciously caressing her gavel with her left hand. The illustrious and unmatchable Kaito Kid had finally been caught and she, SHE, was the lucky judge who was chosen for his trial.
Oh, today is a good day. She concluded as the doors opened and two guards dragged in the accused, a formidable and famous figure in white clothing still donning the top hat and monocle in an attempt to keep his identity secret.
Not for long, Kid. When I'm done here, we'll see who's really underneath that hat of yours.
XxXxX
Kaito Kuroba decided that things could have been worse. Much worse. He reasoned that numerous things could be worse than being caught as Kid.
A) He could have had to reveal his identity, which would have sucked.
B) He could have been beheaded by Aoko and her mop already for having done such a stupid thing as being caught… if she knew it was him, which would have also sucked.
C) Hakuba could've been the one to catch him. Well, in a way he was, but the other tantei had been there, whats-his-face-from-Osaka, but at least Tantei-kun wasn't there.
D) There were worse ways to get caught… though he probably would never look at superglue the same way ever again.
The mental list went on in his head as he was told to sit at a table. Keeping a firm hold on his top hat with one gloved hand, Kaito looked up at the judge.
"Kaito Kid, also known as Phantom Thief 1412," she said evenly, "You have been charged with the theft of…"
Kaito zoned out at the unimaginably long list of things he or his dad had stolen. It still didn't seem to faze the world that he couldn't exactly be the Kid who had disappeared over eight years ago.
"…breaking and entering, impersonation of an officer, and other such crimes." She seemed to stop, but only to take a breath as she continued, "Now here's my deal for you, Kid."
Members of the jury and the lawyer at the other table looked up in surprise and started hushed comments towards one another in confusion.
"I'm listening." replied Kaito in a perfect impersonation of the judge herself.
The judge grinned at his joke as some of the jury went bug-eyed.
"You may make a statement." the judge announced, "If it is true, I'll sentence you to four years in prison." The jury whispered more in astonishment at how easy Kid could get off for his crimes. "If it is false, I'll sentence you to six years in prison."
More hushed discussions turned into an all-out buzz that filled the atmosphere of the courthouse.
Kaito pulled down a bit on the front of his top hat before grinning, looking back up at the judge and saying defiantly…
XxXxX
What is TAKING so long?? This shouldn't be this difficult. Kid bad. Punishment jail.
As Nakamori continued to seethe from his position on the bench across the street from the courthouse, he fiddled with his pipe and wondered if maybe he should have become a lawyer or judge. This thought was quickly expelled from his mind as the courthouse windows exploded with what appeared to be white doves.
"I thought we searched him for all possible means of escape!!" came the yell of the officer that had denied Nakamori access to the courthouse. The inspector sprinted across the street and grabbed the officer by the collar, shaking him furiously, "You idiot! This is KID, we're talking about! No one knows Kid better than I do! That's why you were supposed to let me in!!" The tone of Nakamori's voice had gotten quite dangerous and the officer was quite scared.
Just then, the judge came running out of the courthouse, out of breath. Nakamori quickly dropped the officer to inquire the judge, "What happened?!"
"I told him he was allowed to make one statement. If it was true, I was to sentence him to four years in prison. If it was false, I was to sentence him to six years in prison."
Nakamori decided to put off his anger at the easy sentence options for the opportunity to ask frantically, "And what did he say?!"
"He said…" the judge caught her breath, "He said, 'You'll sentence me to six years in prison.'"
"WHAT?!"
But no one answered the inspector's question as everyone looked to where one of the officers pointed and gasped. Up in the sky was none other than Kaito Kid with his ever-infamous hang glider, carving out of the clouds his even more infamous caricature.
XxXxX
"You have GOT to be kidding me." said Conan as he rolled his eyes and hopped off the couch. Ran watched him walk away in confusion as the reporter on the television continued to report on Kaito Kid's latest and greatest escape.
FIN
A/n: Yes, they ARE all a bit crazy aren't they? But, YAY!, my first DC fic. Please review and tell me how I did!!