Hello and good to see you, reader! Apple Fairy here! Another contest entry I'm posting up here! Enjoy. :3
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Tales of the Abyss.
Delicate
Story by Apple Fairy
Lovely, lovely
Yes you are
Innocent, cute, and all my own.
But sweet little love
Please don't cry.
He wouldn't like it, not at all,
If you were to cry.
She craved butter.
Well, not just butter, but sugar cookies with too much butter added. Not that her mother would use the words 'too much' but she would always say 'just the right amount'.
Anise said there was no difference, one just made it sound healthier then the other. Pamela only smiled and asked her to keep that secret to herself, and all that mattered was that they tasted good.
Anise agreed with a smile, and a nod. Who cared if cookies led to her soon-to-be-creeping there death; they tasted good.
So, because of that, because she already missed her momma and her momma's warm hands that had handed her Tokunaga before he got all those 'improvements', that held her after learning she became Fon Master Guardian, and who measured the 'just the right amount' of butter for the Tatlin's specially made sugar cookies, was why she haunted the halls of the Tartarus, to look for the kitchen.
She was craving sugar cookies, a taste of home (the one she was so distanced from), and Lorelei himself stop her from satisfying her craving.
In time, after tip-toeing past filled cabins of soldiers, their snoring echoing through the halls (the same as the ones in Daath), reassuring herself seventy-two times over that nothing in the ship was going to harm the Fon Master, she found the kitchen (or was it galley? She couldn't remember.) and set to fulfilling her goal, her journey.
As she pulled the ingredients out, already memorized, and committed to memory after so much baking, she wondered if she would be in trouble. Sneaking around and breaking into the kitchen (galley?) at night just to bake? Well, she brought some ingredients of her own.
She'd be fine.
It wasn't like she was using all their food.
"I'll buy some more at the next stop." She whispered to herself, and sighed, "It'll be fine."
"Fine, you say?" a voice cut in, "What you're doing is stealing."
Anise felt a shiver run up her spine, quickly glancing behind her, meeting the commander of the ship, colonel Jade Curtiss.
"Colonel!" Anise exclaimed, a hand going over her heart, the muscle beating rapidly. "Don't scare me like that!"
He smiled that strange smile, tilting his head to the side, "Caught red-handed."
She looked to the side, away from him, holding the flour sack she had retrieved to her chest like it was loot she was stealing, "It's not like that. I said I was going to pay for it, right?"
"You didn't ask for permission, did you?"
She looked back to him, and smiled, "Then may I please use some of your ingredients, Oh great and powerful colonel Jade Curtiss?"
He raised his eyebrows in surprise. He had only met this small guardian two weeks ago, and yet, already she was showing strength he had to see to believe it. He smiled once more.
He might even grow to like her.
"…What are you making?"
"Sugar cookies."
"Cookies? For the Fon Master, I presume?"
Anise had a flash of her mother's face, suggesting she take some to Fon Master Ion. His face, so happy after having taken a bite, soon followed after. Ever since then, every time they made a batch, she made sure to make some for him as well.
"Well, yeah…" she tilted her head a bit, "I guess I can make some for the soldiers too. Do you like sugar cookies, colonel? Do you want some?"
"I can't rightly say if I liked them or not." He replied vaguely, pushing his glasses further up the bridge of his nose.
Anise looked at him surprised, a hand flying to her mouth. "No way! You haven't eaten sugar cookies?! Well, that has got to change!" She nodded, placing the flour on the counter, walking toward him, and grabbed his hands. This caught Jade off-guard, not used to touch he didn't know was coming.
"Colonel," Anise grinned, "let's bake some cookies!"
And before he knew it (or maybe he did), Anise was half-dragging him into the kitchen, asking him politely to measure some ingredients for her, as she get out the rest.
And surprisingly enough, Jade went along with all of it.
It wasn't that he'd never had the sugary treats. He lived in Keterburg, and his sister baked once or twice, as did Professor Nebilim, and he got to taste them.
But because they were a part of his past made it hard for him to try some without being reminded of his sister's sad face at her wedding (longing for Peony, who was not the groom the Score had chosen for her), or his Professor's smile, that turned into the wicked grin of what he had created.
Besides, he never had much of a sweet tooth to begin with.
But surprisingly enough, here he was, with a girl he had been saddled with for the trip to Baticul, to deliver the Emperor's letter, a girl he barely understood, but one who seemed to rope him into this anyway.
It wasn't like he had anything better to do, anyway.
So, he helped.
"Wait."
Jade looked behind him, then looking down, Anise much more shorter then him, a height difference apparent.
"Bend down." Anise told him bluntly. He blinked.
"Why, if I may ask?"
"Your hair." She motioned, "It'll get in the way."
He took notice of her braid, herself looking so much more different without her pigtails. She was wearing a sleeping gown, too. She looked much more different without all that wear, it was hard to believe it was her.
Jade did as ordered, and Anise brought out a hair-tie from her pocket, brushing it out his face, then tying it for him. For Jade, it was all too close for comfort, but he didn't particularly mind. With her, for some reason, it was quite alright.
"There." She smiled, and patted him on the back. He looked back to her and Anise smiled. "Oh, colonel, you look so handsome! Why don't you tie up your hair more often?" She gushed. Jade smiled one of his mysterious smiles, and shrugged.
"Well, if I were to do that, I would have to chase off the women with a stick."
Anise laughed. She knew the colonel poked fun at others, but she didn't know he could joke around like normal people do.
Jade wasn't normal to Anise. But then again, maybe she never grew up with normal. Maybe she was just attached to Jade in the first place, because he wasn't normal either. And maybe, just maybe, Anise was through with 'maybe's and went on with her work, teaching Jade how to mix properly, and that it wasn't 'too much' butter she was adding…
"…But just the right amount." She corrected him, waving her mixing spoon like a teacher's wand. And while waiting for the cookies to bake, while she cleaned up her mess (Jade saying that would be her punishment; he would take care of the matter of the used ingredients), she quizzed him, trying to get to know more of this man she had been saddled with on the way to Baticul.
"How's it like being a colonel?"
He glanced to her as she wiped the countertops, and looked back outside, to the stars, the sky, and all that silly emotional stuff people list when they write about the night.
"It's my job, and I treat it as a job."
"How long have you been one?"
"Long enough."
Anise chewed the inside of her cheek. He was giving vague answers and her best bet was because he liked to be vague.
Or annoying. Not that it annoyed her that much.
"You've never eaten sugar cookies?"
He was silent for awhile, and she proceeded to put up the ingredients (right where she found them, he had ordered), when finally, "I have."
She turned to look at him. Anise pouted. "Why'd you lie then?"
He smiled, that smile that was far from what a smile should've been, "I didn't. You only assumed I haven't."
Anise's ears grew hot. Yeah. He was right.
She had an urge to say 'smartass', but decided to keep it to her lovely, little self.
"True…" she mumbled, "So you don't like them."
"It's not that I don't like them, goodness no!" He exclaimed in fake shock. (Anise would soon learn to grow used to this) "It is only that I don't have particularly good memories of them."
He expected her to give that solemn quietness most people did, the pity swimming in their eyes, their mouths forming the words 'Oh, I'm so sorry…' He had seen it enough, and it was like he was re-watching a play he was quite bored with. But instead, Anise giggled.
"Oh, I know!" She turned to look at him, "You ate too much as a kid, and got a tummy-ache!"
It was all it took for Jade to not look at her surprised. She wasn't solemn, or sad, but only throwing fun into the situation. He held back a quirky smile.
He could grow to like her.
"It is nothing like that." He closed his eyes, smiling that smile that wasn't a smile, and shook his head. Like looking at a trouble-prone child. Anise put her hands on her hips.
"You don't have to be embarrassed, colonel! Your secrets safe with me, don't worry!"
He looked to her through the corner of his eyes. She honestly believed that, didn't she?
Well, no matter to him. He didn't care anyway. Maybe he'd correct her one day.
Maybe he wouldn't.
And maybe, just maybe, Jade didn't care for 'maybe's anyway.
"But it's okay." She assured him, walking closer, leaning against the wall with him. "If it makes you feel better, I once drank a whole bottle of vanilla, because it smelled good." She pinched her face, like she smelled something bad, "I wouldn't recommend it, by the way."
"I'll take note of that." He assured her lightly as he looked down to the little guardian. She blinked and tilted her head to the side.
"I guess we both know each other's secrets now, huh?"
"I suppose so."
"Well now you can't tell anyone, because I'll tell yours." She smirked. Jade smiled inwardly, seeing as she had made up that 'secret' anyhow, but he kept it to himself. He kept all these secrets to himself, and all these smiles.
All to himself.
Ding!
Anise turned her head to the source of the sound, the time cooker done ticking away. Jade kept his eyes on her, and she looked back, seeing him just the way she had left him.
"Cookies are ready." She announced and he nodded.
And somewhere in that night, Colonel Jade Curtiss and Miss Anise Tatlin had become friends.
He smiled, taking another bite from the melt-in-your-mouth, just-the-right-amount-of-butter sugar cookies.
"It tastes good, Anise! Thank you!" Ion smiled. She looked to the side, her home-sickness quelled by the taste of sugar in her mouth, the fullness in her tummy, having eaten her fair share of the two batches her and the colonel had made. She smiled.
"Well, you know I just had a lot of time to kill, and…" She trailed off, looking back to him, her boss, her friend. She fiddled with her hands, playing with the fingers. She shrugged. "It's just like the other times I've baked for you, anyway."
"No, no." He finished it, licking his fingers of the crumbs, and smiled at her again, "I look forward to these every time. Is it alright if I can have another?"
Anise put her hands on her hips. "You know what the doctor said about your diet, Ion. No more desserts."
"Alright. If you insist."
She looked him straight in the eyes, then at the plate she had brought to his room. She sighed inwardly. She knew herself, and she knew she wasn't able to turn him down.
"…Well." Anise trailed off. "…Just this once."
After giving in a bit more, having a few more herself (she could feel a stomachache coming on from all the sugar), she walked out of his room, off to take the plate back, and then thank the colonel.
She didn't have to look far. Jade was right there in front of Ion's room, as if he had been waiting for her. (And for all she knew, he could've been.)
"Colonel!" She exclaimed, her hand flying to her heart. "What did I say about scaring me like that?"
He pushed his glasses further up, "I've failed to recall," and before she could say anything, he continued. "Giving cookies to the Fon Master?"
Anise held back a sigh, and nodded. "Yup. Did the soldiers like our baking?"
"All those that got up early enough to get any."
"Maybe we should've baked more…"
"Anise," he cut in, "Your cheeks are red."
She took notice of the heat on her face. She frowned. "What about it?"
"They say women give baked goods to the men they love. Is it perhaps you and Fon Master Ion…?"
She giggled. "No, no! Of course not!" She tilted her head to the side, a ponytail falling with it, "You still have a lot to learn about a woman's heart, colonel!"
He only smiled that strange smile, and they walked together talking like friends do not talk.
A friendship that didn't look like a friendship but was too odd to be classified otherwise.
Ion was dead.
Anise was a traitor.
She was forgiven, but not by herself. Luke had said some pretty nice things, but it wasn't like that was instantly going to heal anything. She had a lot to go through now, a lot to figure out.
A lot to forgive, nothing allowed to be forgotten.
So, she cried. Anise cried alone in her room in the Albiore, his last words, his last breath, his last everything imprinted in her mind. His last smile, his last frown, his last touch. He had small hands, pale and delicate. They weren't like momma's, big and warm, but small. Small and cold and delicate.
But when she held it, it fit into hers perfectly, so slender, so soft.
Now, his hands were gone. His faint smiles disappeared. His kind words, his beautiful demeanor all gone.
And she was to blame.
For all of this, Anise cried, alone, hoping no one would find her here. Would come looking for her, would ask where she was, and find her like this. For now, she wanted to be left alone, wanted to be left with the 'last' memories.
Maybe she was punishing herself. Maybe she was coping.
Maybe 'maybe's didn't help with how she felt.
Maybe. You know. Just maybe.
Then, before she knew it (in fact, she never knew it) her 'not-like-a-friend-but-might-as-well-call-them-a-friend' friend, stumbled in (more so waltzed) and found her.
A play of hide-and-go-seek she never agreed to participate in.
And Jade won.
She looked up to him, from underneath the sheets that were gathered around her, from tearful eyes. Her room was dark, and the opening of her door had let the light of the hallway spill in, illuminating her.
She had been Found.
There was silence. Utter silence draped over them like a blanket, nothing said, nothing dared to be said. She was the first to turn away, burying her head in the mattress, her face blotchy, her eyes wet, her nose running. She couldn't tell him to go away, because Anise knew it would be more of a reason for him to stay.
She heard the sound of him approaching her, the boots making soft thuds to sound their presence. Anise imagined he would pat her on the shoulder, or maybe ask her what was wrong (what was the point though; it was obvious), and maybe just bring the sheets out from her, exposing her, tears, guilt and all.
But then, after what was probably months since they had, he offered.
"Anise," he spoke slowly, "let's bake some cookies."
She brought the sheets down, meeting his eyes, looking at him like Jade Curtiss had gone quite mad.
"What?!"
After reassuring her it would make her feel better, that maybe this would help the whole team feel better, and even hinting that Count Gaillardia (i.e. Guy) would fall for her and surely marry her if she offered him cookies, she agreed.
So she and Jade baked cookies.
Sugar cookies with 'too much' butter.
She smiled and sniffled when he said that. "No, colonel. It's 'just the right amount'."
Jade got her to smile. He found this to be a small victory already.
So, as they made the batter, this time Jade did the talking, asking questions about her. Even ones he already knew.
"Why do you and your mother add more butter?" He asked, looking at her as he stirred. She smiled. One more victory.
"Haven't you ever tried it like that? It makes it gooier and…and melty." She shrugged, looking for the right word. "Although, you have to put the 'right amount' or else it'll come out all greasy and gross. It's a delicate procedure, you know."
"I never knew baking could be such an important process."
"You've seen how Natalia cooks," Anise warned, "It's very important."
Jade smiled his quirky smile at this.
So, with all this, Anise forgot (if for awhile) the guilt. She forgot about Mohs, and Ion's last breath and message. She forgot about being Found by Luke, about his words, about momma and papa and how much she loved them.
All she was allowed to know and see was Jade, his sleeves rolled up, his hair tied back, and his questions and conversation topics never-ending.
"Do you bake so much as to train to be a wife?"
"At first I did." Anise shrugged, as they waited for the cookies to finish baking in the oven, "but then I found him!"
Jade raised his eyebrows. "Oh, a suitor already? Pray tell!" Faking eagerness once more. Anise let him have his fun, and only smiled.
"Guy! You know, since he's a house-husband, he can do all the housework and cooking! And since he's rich, it's a bonus!" She gushed.
"He won't be able to bake sugar cookies the way you do, however."
"Then I'll train him."
"You make him sound as if he's your servant."
"Maybe I'll do that, then!" Anise gasped in realization, "I'll buy him off of Luke then!"
"You'll need Gald."
Anise frowned, "True…" she looked to him and winked, "Colonel can I borrow some money, pretty please?"
"I'm afraid you wouldn't be able to pay me back." He answered simply, and shrugged. Anise pouted.
"Oh, colonel, you're no fun!"
And somewhere else on the Albiore, Guy sneezed, wondering to himself who could be talking about him.
But that doesn't matter. What mattered to Anise after that was the ding of the cooking timer, the steam rising off the cookies as Jade took them out, and how they came out 'just right'.
"Well, we should tell the others it's ready," she decided, but Jade placed a hand on her shoulder before she could even take one step.
"Wait." He said, solemnly, the mood suddenly serious, "try one."
Anise looked at him confused, wondering where this was leading to, but obliged. After blowing on a cookie, so much she almost became light-headed, she picked it up, taking a bite. The flavor rushed in, sweet and buttery.
Just the right amount.
She had a flash of Ion's face then, running through her mind. His smile after taking a bite, his sweet words.
His delicate demeanor.
"Well, Anise," Jade spoke softly, catching her off guard, "how does it taste like?"
It all came back to her. The heat of Mt. Zaleho, her parents in that crudely built cage, Mohs' sick smile as Ion read the seventh fonstone, his last reading, his last words.
She remembered how surprised everyone looked when she betrayed them, how she gave them a clue. All the time she wished she was living a dream, going to wake up soon. Usually it was Tear that woke her up at the inns or in the fields, her eyes soft, her words stiff, but there. 'Good morning'
But Tear wasn't saying that. Tear wasn't waking her up. She wasn't getting up groggily, fixing her hair, waking up Guy in her 'own special way' via a hug provoking his phobia, or making breakfast after doing so. This wasn't a dream, this was all real, all very, sadly real.
She remembered Ion, all that time with him, his kind self, his slender, pale hands. His faint smiles, his trustful eyes, his spacey nature. She remembered him, her boss, her friend, and maybe even more.
Maybe.
Anise was beginning to hate 'maybe's.
Maybe if she didn't betray them, she wouldn't be here. Maybe if she told someone, Ion would be alive. Maybe if her family had never lost so much money, she wouldn't be working for Mohs.
Maybe, maybe, maybe.
Well.
Who gave a damn about 'maybe's, anyway.
So as all of this began to hit her, the baking session brought to an end, reality hitting her all at once, she cried. She looked up to Jade, unable to Hide, no chance to be lost, already Found.
"It tastes good." She felt the tears hot and salty, "Like Ion. It tastes like Ion's love."
Then, she broke down, crushed herself against his stomach, and cried.
Jade stayed quiet. Whether the whole point of the baking escapade was to take her mind off of it, or to help her cope, it didn't matter. He placed a hand on her head, hand warm and solid. He didn't say anything, because all of it had been said, and just let her cry.
Because she needed to cry. All the words just swirled down the drain, and all that was left was to cry.
Jade closed his eyes, placing another hand on her shoulder, and then it was like that for Lorelei knew how long.
No.
Maybe even Lorelei didn't know.
He probably didn't even know that afterwards, there were still no words spoken. But that was quite alright because 'not-really-like-friends' comforted each other just like that.
With just the right amount of care.
That's the end of it! Hope you liked it! :3
I didn't. D:
I'm so sorry! This is written so blandly, and so OOC, and…ugh. I hate it.
However, in spite of myself, I've decided not to delete. Well...I still think it needs to be improved. Dx
But um…thank you for reading it up to the end, as bad as it was. Thank you so much! :D
Ciao!
-Apple Fairy