Oh Yeah, He's a Total...Beast...?

Summary: Kataang, OneShot. "Oh yeah...Aang? He's...uh, a total...beast...?" A conversation over some tea turns into a tight spot when Suki and Toph inquire about Aang and Katara's personal life.

Author's Note: We'll say for the purposes that Katara is 19 and Aang is 17.

And no...I don't think Katara and Aang have sick sex. It's just that the thought is pretty..."contorted."

Remember to review!!

-scorpiored112

Katara wasn't a good liar.

She's sure she was at one point. Besides, all children are good at lying. Even good children—well, actually—especially good children. The well-behaved can find they can get away with a lot if they honestly try to contort honesty. Problems ensue when lies turn into truths and truths are fogged by lies and lies and truths and everything else just mix—but that's boring and doesn't matter.

Katara is what really matters here.

(Really.)

And actually, Aang sort of matters too.

(He's the butt of the lying)

(...He's not really a "butt" per say...)

(Never mind.)

It was a warm and balmy summer evening. Perfect lying weather. Katara and Suki and Toph sat around a small table near a little pond at some restaurant in the Earth Kingdom.

They said they were here for vacation. But girls like to gossip and talk and really, they were just here for a little personal time away from Aang and Sokka. Katara and Suki dressed up because they were girly—Toph was in her undershirt and shorts and took to picking her toes, which disgusted Katara and made Suki laugh. Several bystanders observed Toph suspiciously and sat far away to make sure that toe-droppings wouldn't get on their food.

They were close friends, even if they were different. And over some tea, they always found a lot to talk about. This is not to say that their conversations were exactly G-rated. To the contrary. Young women—specifically feisty fighters such as these young women here—like to talk about sensual little things.

(Suki especially. Really. Just because she isn't a "butt"—per say—doesn't mean she doesn't like talking about them.)

So the girly girl from Kyoshi began with, "Katara, I know you don't want to hear this—"

Katara looked up.

"—but your brother is freaking amazing. He has such a great butt."

Toph stuck a finger in her open mouth and made a grunting noise. Katara rolled her eyes.

"I'm serious!" Suki defended miserably, laughing again. "I can't help but talk about him. You should be proud, Katara."

Katara shook her head and made a disturbed face. "I should be proud?"

"No—you shouldn't!" Toph added, moving to her left-most toe. "We already know you and Sokka are hot stuff—we can hear you guys all the time, you know."

Suki's eyes opened a little wider than they already were. "You can?"

"You should consider the sound-proof room option," Toph continued. "I've actually taken a liking to Sugar Queen and Twinkle Puff. At least they're quiet when they're getting it on."

Katara made another face and drank from her cup quietly. Suki and Toph began arguing as Katara blankly observed the pleasant sky above them. The argument persisted with short dialog—easily recorded here.

"Well maybe you shouldn't be listening!"

"It's hard to ignore! Do you guys even hear yourselves?"

"No—but apparently, you do!"

Toph shrugged and sat up. "Hey, I'm just asking you to keep the sound level to a minimum! If we have to travel together, I don't want my ears to be verbally assaulted every time the sun goes down." Toph made some kissing noises.

Suki grunted in disgust and looked in Katara's direction, perhaps noticing the blank stare that Katara was so graciously lavishing across the sky. The table was silent for a moment before Suki kicked Toph's knee underneath the table.

"Ow!" she protested. "What the heck was that—"

"Shh!" Suki scolded. "Katara," she said, diverting her gaze. "Are you okay?"

Katara looked at them and smiled her typical I-wasn't-really-listening-to-you-guys-just-a-second-ago smile. "Yeah. What's up?"

"Toph said she prefers you and Aang to me and Sokka."

Katara visibly blushed. "What?"

Toph caught on and smirked inher distinctive Oh-God-this-is-going-to-be-fun smirk. "Yeah," she added, "I do prefer you guys to Mister and Misses Nasty Noises over here."

Suki displayed her I'm-pretty-damn-smart-for-a-non-bender gesture by putting her hands on her hips. "Just a thought," she started, and then her voice flew down into a whisper. "So Katara...how is Aang, exactly?"

Katara suddenly seemed distressed. "What do you mean?"

"Don't play dumb, Katara!" Toph exclaimed loudly, elbowing her side. "You know what Suki means."

Katara blinked and leaned over the table. "Well...okay...but...what does that—"

"I'm just saying that Aang has always come off as a softy," Suki continued, playing with her nails. Her I'm-pretty-damn-smart-for-a-non-bender gesture was replaced with It's-pretty-freaking-awesome-to-be-older. "Not that it's a bad thing, Katara," she mocked pathetically. "It's just the impression."

"And you've been with Twinkle Toes for a good five years now," Toph added, gruesomely popping a tea cake into her mouth. "He has to be doing something right." She looked at Suki and added loudly, "At an acceptable sound level."

Katara began nervously pulling at her hair. She scanned the sky restlessly and drank her remaining tea in an agitated manner. Suki noticed—entertained—that Katara's face had turned three different shades of red. Toph noted her rise in heart beat.

"Well?" Suki asked after a moment or so of silence. "How is he?"

"Uh..."

"Come on, Katara," the oldest gossip assured. "We're all friends here."

Toph nodded from her seat. "Yeah, who are we going to tell?"

Katara broke out into a cold sweat. Talking about Aang always had some sort of negative outcome. She loved him, yes...but talking about how he was...it didn't seem right. Katara felt it was a direct invasion of privacy.

Besides—she liked that Aang was a "softy." That was what made him different. She liked softies. She liked it when Aang was gentle and quiet and lovey-dovey. But—!

Well, she felt as though she had to lie. Just so that Aang wouldn't seem like a complete square.

"Oh yeah...Aang?" Katara pulled at her collar. "He's...uh, a total...beast...?"

She looked at their eager, upward expressions.

(Upward expressions prove that some thing's been done the right way.)

(Really.)

Suki begged, in a daydream sort of tone, "Go on."

"He's...uh—well..."

"What does he do?" Toph asked, finally finding something more interesting than her toes. "Like when you're alone."

Katara made a face. "Oh! Guys! That's kind of...gross."

"No it's not!" Suki protested, but then her eyes lit up. "Oh God, is it gross? Is he nasty?"

"What? No!"

"Does he lick you?"

"Toph!"

"I bet he does all this creepy stuff that Katara doesn't want us to know about," Toph explained shortly, now moving on to a I'm-going-to-be-a-smart-ass smirk. "He probably has a breast fetish!"

"Oh!" Suki squealed and clasped her hands together. "He probably does have a fetish! It's always the quiet ones!"

"Ugh..." Katara felt her face flare up again. She looked back up at the sky and listened to another dialog-brief argument.

"He's probably sick!"

"Ew! Oh God—Suki, he probably uses his bending!"

"Yeah! I totally forgot about that."

"Maybe he tapes Katara's mouth shut—that's why it's so quiet! And he tapes her limbs down! Ha! That counts as a fetish too."

(Both were laughing hysterically at this point.)

(Really.)

Suki finally concluded, between fits of laughter, "Katara, I'm sorry but...you are so lucky."

"But I didn't say anything—"

"You guys probably have the best time ever," Toph laughed, standing up to stretch.

They continued giggling when Aang appeared in the doorway of the restaurant. Sokka struck conversation with the store manager and left Aang to greet the three girls alone.

"Hey!" Toph shouted. "Look who's coming over."

Suki and Toph stared at Katara mischievously. Katara covered her eyes and sighed in a miserable manner as Aang led her away from the table.

Afterward, in Aang's hotel room, he asked her if everything was okay.

"Your face was kind of...colorful," he recalled, kissing her forehead.

"Trust me. You don't want to know."

"I'll take your word for it."

Katara looked at him and bit her lip. He recognized this as Katara's characteristic You're-looking-pretty-sexy-right-about-know-and-I'm-looking-forward-to-what-we'll-probably-be-doing-in-the-next-thirty-minutes.

He stood up and kissed her lips softly. "I'll go get my staff," he whispered, grinning from ear to ear.

Katara replied, touching his nose, "I'll get the tape."

So no, Katara wasn't a good liar.

(Really.)

But sometimes, even the most well-behaved children don't have to be liars to honestly contort the truth. Sometimes the truth is already a little..."contorted."

(...Never mind.)