DISCLAIMER: I do not own any original BPRD character. I just own the plot and the OCs. I do not think I own Ruddy either, he has a kind of life on his own.
Sorry for the delay in updating, my dear ladies and gentlemen, but I had to prepare 4 exams in one month only, so I had no time to write whatsoever. The story has already reached the 1.500+ mark, all because of you.
I hope that the length of the chapter will somehow make good for your wait.
Thank you very much for your kind reviews, the faves and the alerts, but above all for the attention.
I am very, very happy and proud about it.
No warnings for this chapter: it is a kind of filler, really, just to have a little fun and introduce the second premium OC: Dr. Eliza Hertz.
Do not worry though, there is more coming shortly (I hope), and the action will speed up in the next chapters.
Challenge's still up. You know the deal. (Who Ruddy really is?)
What more to say?
Just Enjoy!
His first working day at the BPRD started abruptly.
Ruddy was still sleeping, deeply entrenched in a dream: he was in a strange bazaar, looking for a goldsmith.
In the dream he had already visited the place before and knew exactly where the jeweler's stall was, at the far end of the first row of stalls, at the very corner of the bazaar, and went directly there, wanting to finish his business there and quit the place as soon as he could.
He did not care for the crowds which roamed excitedly all over the place, inspecting the wares and talking in a high voice.
No one payed much attention to him, but he was starting to feel overwhelmed by the sheer amount of people around him.
He hastened his progress and reached the end of the row of stalls, but the goldsmith was not there, a blacksmith with his anvil and a forge occupied the place where his stall was supposed to be.
Confused, gave a look to his surroundings, thinking that maybe he had taken a wrong turn and had ended at the other side of the market, which was quite possible.
A big sycamore tree caught his attention: his branches, full of tender spring leaves, threw a pleasant shade upon the blacksmith and his forge, and he was absolutely sure that, not long before, its shade had been bestowed upon the brilliant trinkets wrought by the hands of the goldsmith he was looking for.
A deep uneasiness settled upon him as he retraced his steps wearily.
Along the way he noticed a lot of strange people, including a black-skinned woman with cloven feet and a merchant selling toy bows to a group of almost-naked, fair-haired Celts, which promptly proceeded to test them by firing some ridiculously diminutive arrows against a nearby target.
He checked the other corners of the bazaar, finding nothing.
With growing apprehension, he turned towards the nearest merchant to ask him where he could find the goldsmith, but before he managed to utter a single word, someone woke him by banging the door against the wall very loudly.
Despite feeling a little guilty for making so much noise, Ash could not repress a laughter upon entering in Ruddy's room.
The dog-thing had evidently just woken up, and was completely tangled in the blanket, just a hind leg and his weird ears jutting out from the heap of fabric.
Letting out a steady stream of curses in the strange language he used when he was particularly upset, Ruddy struggled frantically to disentangle himself, to no avail.
"Need a hand?" the young agent asked, laughter sparkling in his eyes.
The red creature suspended his efforts and mumbled something.
Something sarcastic probably, Ash mused.
He had a feeling that insisting and arguing would have no positive effect whatsoever, so he just leaned against the wall and waited, amusing himself with the stubborn pride of the BPRD newest employee.
After a couple of minutes the heap of fabric stopped wriggling and from his depths came a resigned voice.
"I think I need your help, after all." Ruddy said, sounding quite dejected.
Ash sighed and knelt next to him, trying to determine which were the ends of the tangle.
"Stay still, would you?" he asked, starting to work upon the fabric.
"I will, just get me out of here." Ruddy replied.
Ash managed to uncover his muzzle, revealing a very ruffled and annoyed salaawa.
The irritated expression he wore was almost comical, so Ash had to concentrate hard on disentangling one of his paws to refrain from laughing out loud, which would have been very stupid, since he did not want to upset him further and earn himself another shock, at closer range this time.
"Here we go, doggy." he said, having finally freed the creature.
"I am very grateful for your help, Ash. – Ruddy grudgingly acknowledged – But if you ever tell anybody about this incident, I will make you pay."
"Easy there, doggy. I ain't telling no one." Ash reassured him: hurting his pride could bring no advantage to him.
Maybe in a while, when he finally accustomed to the BPRD, Ash could start to make fun about Ruddy as he did of anyone else, including the boss, but he had to give him time to adjust.
"Wanna have breakfast?" he inquired to the creature, who was presently busy with smoothing out his fur, which was standing on edge for having been rubbed with the synthetic blanket.
Small sparks cracked along his spine, in a very disquieting way.
Ruddy laughed, which in itself was disquieting as dogs were not supposed to laugh, and all of a sudden his fur came down again.
"It looks like the struggle with the blanket has recharged me a little. Great! - he announced, very smug and satisfied - I believe I am quite hungry, by the way. Breakfast looks like a good idea to me."
Ash smiled and pushed himself away from the wall.
"Follow me, then lazy dog. It is already late." he chided.
Ruddy snorted and followed suit, at a leisurely pace and limping slightly.
Still, Ash thought, walking around already was no small feat, even for a dog-from-hell as Ruddy was, after the beating he had taken.
The two of them would wreak merry havoc together at the BPRD if things went his way, and they would, the agent was sure about it.
At least the strange dog seemed to bear his company much better than anyone else's presence.
Still fantasizing about future mischief and devising plans for convincing Ruddy to cooperate with him, Ash opened the double doors that led to the canteen.
"This is the place where the agents eat, my friend. - he explained cheerfully, and as Ruddy showed no reaction to the phrasing, he went on with more confidence – I am not sure if this is the proper place for you, but since you have already made sure you are unwelcome in the kennel..."
The people of BPRD had no taste whatsoever in decorating: every room was white and metallic, without a single decoration.
So awfully plain.
The refectory was a huge, white room with silvery metallic tables scattered all around, where the agents consumed their meals, chatting cheerfully.
What could be so cheerful in a room with no windows, lighted by those weird not-torches stuck to the walls and ceiling?
He had not seen a window anywhere since he had arrived and was already starting to grow claustrophobic...
No. - he scolded himself - Do not think about that right now. Everything 's all right. There is plenty of space, see?
Ruddy steeled his resolved and entered the refectory, but as soon as he stepped foot inside, his mouth began to water and his stomach audibly rumbled at the delicious smell of food that hovered all over the big bleak room.
On the right side there was a big metal counter laden with all sorts of food.
It had been a long time since he had seen so much food together in the same place, and he had missed the sight.
He loved hunting, it was thrilling and made him feel good and powerful, but he knew how to appreciate commodities when they were available, and he was very grateful for them right now.
Hunting would be off-limits for a while: though he acted like he was perfectly fine, he was still sore, nay, hurt from his recent fights.
He sniffed the air, inhaling deeply, but not so deeply as he would have, had he not recently broken some ribs.
There were so many interesting scents in the room.
Apart from the various scents of the human agents and the distinctive odor of the demon, he caught whiffs of every sort of food: fruit, milk, something made with eggs which smelled delicious, something very similar to curd cheese, fresh bread – ah, he so ached for a piece of bread, but he couldn't eat it in this form, well, not without his stomach protesting – and, best of all, some different kinds of cooked meat.
Ruddy licked his lips in anticipation.
"Hungry, doggy?" the cheeky and cheerful agent asked with a grin.
"You cannot begin to imagine how much." he responded in all honesty.
"Let's go to the table then, and I'd get you something to eat." Ash proposed, gesturing towards the place where Hellboy and some other agents were already seated.
"Thanks, Ash, but I think I can manage it on my own." Ruddy retorted, a little indignant .
He might not be fit for a wild run in the plains yet, but he was not in so bad a shape as to require assistance in snatching some food from a table.
Ash chuckled, seemingly amused by his indignation. "I know, Rud, but the guy at the counter might take it badly if a dog ever approached the food. - he commented with his trademark grin - He'd surely get wicked pissed. He might even chase after you with a broom."
This last image proved to be too much for him to bear, and he erupted in another hearty laugh.
"I am not a dog. – Ruddy reaffirmed angrily, with a hint of growl. – And if the man behind the counter ever tried to hit me with a broom, I'd zap him."
"That's precisely why I am going to get your food, my hot-tempered friend." Ash's voice was suddenly serious and Ruddy knew that the boy was right and that he was acting stupidly, as usual.
He could not screw his position for pride, not when he was trapped in this form, in which he could not use his powers to their full extent, and surrounded by potentially hostile people.
Even if they were acting friendly, they were still wary about him, there was no doubting about that, and would come down on him like flies on honey if he attempted any act of hostility.
Hanging his head down, he acquiesced and headed towards the table, leaving the task of foraging to the youth.
The red-skinned, annoying demon was already seated at the table, apparently busy with eating an egg-thing with a reddish sweet-smelling relish.
Ruddy tried to make himself as inconspicuous as possible, waiting for the inevitable irritating remark: would he jape about his tardiness or about the kennel incident?
However the demon barely acknowledged his presence with a curt nod and a grumble, then returned his attention to his plate.
He looked very tired, Ruddy noticed, his eyes were red-rimmed and puffy, circled by dark shades, and he gave the overall impression of having not managed to sleep well, or to sleep at all, during the night.
Ruddy was very curious: the demon did not look so tired in the previous days, even if he had to sleep in barracks.
And where was the fiery woman?
As far as he could tell, the pyromancer always sat next to her demonic companion.
It was strange and it needed further investigation, Ruddy thought.
They could have quarreled, it was a plausible explanation for the sleepless night and depressed behavior of the demon.
Ruddy himself could remember the epic fights that plagued his short and ill-fated marriage: they lasted for hours and left him a nasty headache afterwards, not to speak of the humiliation for being the only one among his acquaintances whose relationship was a complete failure.
"Has she left you?" Ruddy asked abruptly, following his train of thought and throwing a quick glance towards the apathetic demon.
His words seemed to have some effect on the man, as he turned sharply towards him, giving him a confused look and asking "What? Who?"
Ruddy sighed. "Your flamethrower of a girlfriend, who else? - he explained – Has she left you?"
The demon gave him a are-you-drunk-or-mad stare.
"What has come into your mind, dog? Why should she do something like that?"
"First of all, I am not a dog. - Ruddy retorted, irritated, he so hated being mistaken for a dog. – Second, well, demon, did you know that you stink of sulfur? That would be reason enough for me..." He knew he was being a total jerk now, but he could not help prodding at his newfound colleague's emotional wounds.
Hellboy gave him a look that could curdle milk effortlessly, but he was not in the least discouraged and went on with his train of thoughts.
"You are sitting here so silent, and it is clear that you have not slept a bit last night. - he explained smugly – I speak from personal experience, these are clear symptoms of a nightly conjugal fight."
"Oh. - Hellboy said, comprehension dawning on his sleepy face – So long-eared critters also have conjugal fights? So funny." he chuckled.
"No doubt you had your share, since you can't live without annoying someone, doggy. - he continued, grinning wide – Thanks for your interest, but my marriage is faring well so far. It was just the twins crying all night."
Ruddy gave him a questioning look, trying to change subject, as he had made a fool of himself, as usual.
"You and Flamethrower have children?"
"Yeah, two girls, nine months old. - Hellboy said, smiling affectionately – Between the growing teeth and the colics, we have a hard time sleeping at night."
"Not just you. - a quite disgruntled female agent seated at their table chimed in – The whole wing have problems sleeping lately. What they lack in vocabulary, they compensate with strong lungs."
"Yeah, very expressive." another black-and-white garbed colleague added.
"They must be a real fright..." Ruddy commented, somewhat tenderly.
Since he had no children of his own, he did not know what the first years were like, even if his girlfriends who had children had told him several times that it was the worst period.
He always wondered how his own mother had managed with four kids together.
Hellboy swallowed another spoonful of eggs with relish and nodded. "Indeed."
"And please, stop calling Liz a flamethrower." he added, with a hint of playful menace.
"If you stop calling me dog." Ruddy responded, unfazed.
"You can't stop arguing, can you?" Ash chimed in, with his typical grin plastered on his face and a tray in his hands.
The agent seated himself next to Hellboy and directly in front of the woman, greeting her with a particularly wide grin and a "Bonjour, cherie..." full of mischief, to which she did not respond except from snorting and rolling her eyes in annoyance.
Ash did not seem to care however, he just shrugged and put one of the plates from the tray on the floor in front of Ruddy, together with a bowl full of water.
"That's for you, Rud. Hope you like it." he said, before turning towards his plate and starting to eat with appetite and satisfaction.
Ruddy sniffed at the food with suspicion and curiosity: there were some sausages, stripes of cooked pork and a slice of very pink meat.
"What is this?" he asked Ash, nosing suspiciously at the offending thing.
Ash turned on his seat and cast a cursory glance at him. "It is ham, very tasty." he answered, with his mouth full.
The boy's answer did not clear his doubts, but Ruddy decided that he was too hungry to care, and he did not want to appear ungrateful or distrustful towards the agents.
He promptly began munching away at the food.
It was very good indeed, he thought, wagging his tail happily.
The food Ash had brought proved to be too little for his long overdue hunger.
"Hey, Ash, could you bring me some more?" he asked, unconsciously giving him puppy eyes.
"Sure, Rud. You liked it, didn't you?" the agent said, smiling good-naturedly.
"Yes, I did very much. Could you bring me some of the curd-cheese-like thing too? It smells so good." the creature asked, hoping it did not sound childish.
"You mean yogurt, right? No problem." Ash said, grabbing the plate and heading again for the counter.
"I must have imagined that you were the bottomless-pit kind of guy." Hellboy commented, setting fire to the tip of a smelly stick he had in his mouth.
It was rich, since the demon had eaten a generous amount of food himself.
"The pot calling the kettle black, huh?" Ruddy retorted ungraciously.
The stick-thing finally caught fire and began in earnest to emit whiffs of smelly smoke, which floated lazily in the still air.
Ruddy began almost immediately to sneeze, his nose itching and tingling.
"This is completely awful!" he exclaimed, outraged.
"Come on, doggy it is just a cigar." the demon complained.
"Mister Bruttenholm!" exclaimed a piercing woman voice, very irritated from the sound of it.
"Oh crap..." Hellboy commented, extinguishing the smoke-stick in his plate and trying, ineffectively, to make himself inconspicuous.
"Busted!" one of the agents at the table whispered, before making a quick retreat towards a door with a little stylized man painted on.
A young woman was coming towards them with fast strides and a militant gleam in her eyes.
She stopped right in front of Hellboy and gave him a hard stare, arms akimbo.
"How many times have I told you that you should not smoke inside the BPRD? - she asked, seemingly having already lost her patience – Now, you can be not quite human and therefore immune to the deleterious effects of smoking, which is still in question anyway, but your colleagues are not."
Hellboy opened his mouth as if he wanted to interrupt but she prevented him, going on with her lecture.
"I have already told you that smoke provokes cancer, emphysema and atherosclerosis and contributes to causing hearth failure and infarction as well as impotence. – the woman went on mercilessly, quelling with a commanding gesture of her hand her victim's attempts to talk - You do not want to listen to me? Very well, you can go on and undertake the risk, but at least you have to show respect for your colleagues."
"You are poisoning them, did you know it?" she inquired, waving a menacing finger right under the flabbergasted demon's nose.
Hellboy pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes, as if to relieve an impending headache.
The rest of the people in the room were quietly abandoning the scene, taking advantage of her exclusive focus on her target.
"If you really wish to endanger your health, at least do it outside of the building, where you will not harm anyone else, including your daughters." she concluded, having probably exhausted her breath.
Ruddy was astonished by the woman's nerve.
She was a wee little thing, probably reaching no more than the demon's shoulder, and looked nothing like a warrior, her lean body more like that of a dancer than anything else, still she faced him with authority and severity.
The look on the demon's face as he tried to stammer an excuse or an explanation in the face of such a verbal barrage was priceless, and Ruddy could not help but laugh out loud.
Very bad move. The red salaawa thought to himself only moments later, when the woman, face still flushed and eyes gleaming from the argument, turned to face him.
She eyed him with curiosity. "I assume you are the new member of the team, right?"
"Ruddy, at your service." he introduced himself as gallantly as he could muster, wagging his tail in greeting.
"You should not be here, do you know? It is not very hygienic." she stated matter-of-factly, without hostility.
"I was just having breakfast." he shrugged, regretting it as a stab of pain made him gasp.
The situation somewhat more calm, Ash decided to make his way back to the table.
"Here we go, my friend." he said cheerfully, setting on the floor some more food and a bowl of yogurt.
Ruddy readily tore at the food, leaving the yogurt for later.
Never lifting his eyes from the plate, he heard the woman arguing with the agent.
"You guys are a desperate case! All of you! - she whispered, belligerently, clearly not wanting him to listen, but unfortunately he had a very good hearing – Left to your own devices you'd eat only junk food. What has come into your mind, to give the creature fried bacon? It is too fatty for him."
"There was no more else to have, Elie, and he seems to like it well enough." Ash retorted, calmly.
"Indeed I do, it tastes very good." Ruddy chimed in.
The woman dismissed the thought with a wave of her hand. "Tomorrow I will have something more adequate prepared for you."
"Hope it is not as insipid as the stuff she has made me eat for the last six months, doggy." Hellboy lamented.
"It is not my fault if you cholesterol level was too high, Mr. Bruttenholm." she chided him.
"They can't help arguing, can they?" Ruddy laughed.
"Almost as much as you and him never stop bickering, Rud." Ash conceded.
"By the way, who is this woman?" the creature asked.
"Let me introduce Doctor Eliza Hertz, resident health-counselor and pest." he said in a soft voice.
"I heard you, agent Ash Melville!" she protested, but his jovial smile mollified her.
"I am sorry, Elie. I was just joking." he apologized.
However, she seemed a little disheartened. "I know, - she said, sighing – most of the people here think I am too bossy or a total hag, but that's only because I care about you, all of you. Hell, you risk your life on a daily basis, I only wish to keep you as healthy and happy as possible. You are like a family to me now... - she was getting caught in the moment, her speech becoming very passionate. – Oh, sorry, I did it again. I did not mean to overwhelm you with words." her cheeks flushed pink, and it was very becoming on her.
"Worry not, Elie. We love you too." Ash said, with an affectionate smile.
Dr. Hertz waved away his words with a smile and promptly changed subject, to relieve the oppressing atmosphere the discussions had caused.
"So, Ruddy, what is your impression of the BPRD so far?" she asked conversationally.
"It is too white and impersonal, - he said, keeping his comments neutral - but so far so good."
He was still alive and free, that was the best thing, he thought, but he kept it for himself.
"Did they show you around already? There are some fancy places here, for example the library." she said.
"We're going to give him a tour today. " Hellboy chimed in.
"Would you want me to give him a bath, before?" Eliza Hertz asked, pointing her thumb at Ruddy.
Before anyone else had time to answer, Ruddy reacted.
"No, thank you very much." he said, trying to keep his voice calm and his words polite, even if he felt very, very embarrassed.
As it was months since he had been touched by a woman, the whole bathe-thing could lead to very disturbing situations, considering that the Doctor was not un-attractive.
"I feel pretty clean, anyway. - he added as an excuse, quite weak, he had to admit – After all I was washed with a thing called hose just yesterday, in the kennel."
"If you say so... It does not seem very hygienic to me, but I do not want to force you." the woman said, shrugging.
Ruddy sighed, tanking her silently again.
"OK, guys. It's already late. - Hellboy commented, stretching himself lazily – Let's go, shall we?"
He was standing next to the doctor and Ruddy found out that his early guess was pretty accurate, she barely reached his shoulder and indeed looked very petite next to him.
"By all means, I cannot wait to get accustomed to this place." the creature said, glad for the diversion from his embarrassing thoughts.
"So, move your skinny ass, doggy, we're going." the demon said, heading towards a set of metallic doors with long heavy strides.
Ruddy followed suit, waving his tail lazily in the air.
Behind him, Ash brought up the rear and saluted the doctor warmly.
Surely, Ruddy thought, he was not the only one to find the petite woman pretty.
He followed Hellboy into another bleak corridor,absolutely identical to every other corridor he had seen in the building so far.
If the rest of his stay at the BPRD followed the pattern of these first few hours, it would be a hell of a stay.
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