A.N.1: Well guys, here it is. The final chapter. Again, sorry for the wait. And I guess all I can say is:

Enjoy!

Chapter 10: Requests

"You know which promise you have to keep, now GO!" she shouted above the din of the explosion.

For a few seconds Elizabeth thought he was still going to ignore the order. But only for a few seconds. Then the doubt that had been flashing through his eyes as they stayed locked with hers vanished, replaced with unwavering certainty. He held her gaze for another instant, and then she watched as John turned and ran out of the room. At that moment all she wanted to do, more than anything in the universe, was to run after him and shout that she was coming too, but the mental screams that commanded her muscles to move went unheeded. And then he was gone, disappearing into the darkness.

As the door hissed shut behind him, Elizabeth closed her eyes and took a deep shuddering breath that was almost a sob, making a fresh stream of tears pour from her eyes. He had left; he was going to be safe. He was going to live. She clung to that thought as her chest began to heave with sobs that refused to be suppressed any longer. He was going to live. He had done as she asked. But even as she grasped at that thought, the relief that that knowledge gave her couldn't completely overwhelm the rush of all too familiar pain and loneliness that came as the last minute played in her head and she again saw him turn away and leave her. She was alone again.

It was like some cruel cosmic joke, where she was doomed to live through the same experience over and over again, to have life dangled in front of her and then have it snatched away. To repeatedly be separated from all of the people that she loved.

Elizabeth struggled to get herself under control, even though the instinctive panic that filled her at not being able to move, of being trapped inside her own body, was difficult to ignore. She had told John she wouldn't give up. But then she would have said anything if it meant getting him to leave. There was no way that they both would have made it out alive. The nanites running through her body were occupied keeping her limbs paralyzed, but that likely wouldn't have been enough to stop them from spreading to him too. She couldn't take that risk. He meant too much to her. They all did.

The common sense voice inside her head whispered the belief that she had kept from John, the one this last play by Kedan had forced her to acknowledge. That even if they had made it out, even if they had made it back to Atlantis, things would never have been the same anyway. She was half Replicator. She would always be a potential threat, a liability. She wasn't in control of herself anymore, and, no matter how much she wanted to go home, she would be putting everyone in danger. She refused to do that to her city.

So she was going to stay. Kedan was getting closer. He would be here in a matter of moments. Elizabeth took another deep breath, suppressing the last of her tears, and once again locked away her pain. She wasn't going to give him the satisfaction in his last moments of seeing it.

Another shower of amber colored dust rained from the ceiling, the light from the core giving it its orangish cast. She was going to stay because she couldn't go. What that meant she tried not to think about, even as everything shook around her. Fear and loneliness again threatened to overwhelm her, but she fought it back and pinned every last hope she had on one comforting thought. 'John's going to be alright.'

oOo

John staggered back as the ceiling came crashing down in front of him, debris and dust flying everywhere. The noise was deafening. He threw his arms up to protect his face a moment too late as something sharp, a stray bit of tile probably, cut a burning streak of fire across his cheek. He gasped at the pain and retreated even further, once again seeking the wall for support. The thick clouds of dust that billowed through the ruined hallway made his eyes sting, and he coughed as he accidentally inhaled a lungful.

Even as the air began to clear around him, in the distance, loud enough to avoid being drowned out by the still blaring alarms, he could hear more rumbling sounds, signaling that the rest of the compound was suffering a similar fate to this hallway. The entire place was coming down, exactly as they had planned.

John coughed again and blinked fiercely, trying to see through the haze that hung in the air. The surprisingly still operational emergency lights fought the dust to throw their weak orange glow over the wreckage that now choked the passage from wall to wall. John lurched forward and began frantically poring over the rubble, trying to find a way through, all the time a single word echoing over and over again in his mind. 'no, no, no, no, no...' He had to get through! He had to find Elizabeth! He couldn't leave her again!

He reached for the end of a promising looking pipe that stuck out from under a layer of cracked and broken ceiling, giving the splintered tube a sharp yank and pulling it free. His efforts were rewarded with another growl from the battered structure and a miniature landslide as even more debris slid down from the gaping black hole above him. He jumped back with a curse and wildly swatted at the air in front of his face, partially clearing away the second round of dust that refused to go away completely.

As he saw the results of his efforts, the desperate frenzy that had been running rampant in the back of his mind burst to the forefront. 'No!' Impossibly, the mess before him was packed even tighter than before. There would be no getting through this way. Once again the familiar ticking clock started counting down inside his head, only this time it was louder, more urgent, each second screaming at him as it passed. 'find her, find her!' With each second he felt her slipping farther and farther away from him. Again.

He gave a cry of rage, and with a forceful swing threw the fragment of pipe still clutched in his hand at the wall of rubble, where it collided with a resounding clang. Urgently, he recalled his memories of the schematics of the base that Elizabeth had given him, desperately scanning the maps for alternate routes to the core room, but they were incomplete, pertaining only to the sections that had been necessary for their mission and subsequent escape. Neither one of them had expected him to need anything else. If anything happened that required a change of plans, Elizabeth would be there to guide them, just as she had on the way. Turned out they had both been wrong.

A rush of frantic energy coursed through him, setting his nerves on fire and making each muscle practically hum with impatience and the need to be moving. A pile of junk was not going to keep him from saving Elizabeth.

Turning on his heel and breaking into a dead run, he left the barricade behind him and doubled back towards the rendezvous point, not stopping when he got there, but speeding around the corner and following the hall in the direction that Ronon and the others had come from. There had to be a connection to the core room somewhere, even if it only led him around to the other side of the blockade.

He took the first right turn that he came to, the hallway that he found himself in just as dark and chaotic as the others. There was so much noise... his heart was pounding in his chest and his breathing was growing heavier; sounds of the continuing collapse of the structure roared in the distance, and the shrill pealing of the alarms grated against his eardrums. Damn they were annoying. The small part of his mind not concentrating on running as fast as he possibly could desperately wondered how the series of explosions hadn't taken out whatever computer system controlled those things.

The hallway ended in a fork. John paused a moment, the orange emergency lighting pooling around his feet and throwing his shadow far out across the floor in front of him. Sweat poured down his neck and dampened his debris-powdered hair, and he realized for the first time just how warm it was getting. The vents must have quit working after the first of the C-4 had been set off, and now there was almost no air circulating through the dust-choked complex. 'Because things weren't nearly fun enough already,' thought John as he made his choice and sped down the right branch of the intersection. The first chance he got he took another right, then another, then a left, then a right... it was with a violent burst of mental cursing that he realized he had no idea where he was going. He was wandering around without a clue, 'Idiot! Wasting time, wasting time, wasting time...' but he didn't stop. Couldn't stop. Time was something Elizabeth was running out of.

The maze of darkened corridors had been empty of Replicators so far, odd compared with the swarm of them that had been rushing around before. He assumed they were all busy elsewhere, trying to repair the damage to the key parts of their facility. Normally he would have welcomed the lack of bad guys trying to kill him, but now... now all he wanted was to get his hands on one.

On he ran, going in the general direction that he believed the core room lay in. Each second felt like an hour, and once again he found it impossible to make his feet fly as fast as he needed them to. Door after door blew by, nothing more than indistinct black rectangles in the poor lighting. Elizabeth's face flashed repeatedly in his mind, urging him on. In some places the increasingly widespread destruction made navigation difficult, and he had to leap over small piles of rubble, ignoring the sharp twinge his ankle gave as he landed slightly wrong on the last jump. Twice he came across dead ends, hallways whose ceilings had also collapsed, and he had to back track, his feverish impatience growing ever stronger.

As he wheeled away from the second barricaded corridor, at the edge of his vision he caught a glimpse of a light colored blur flitting around a nearby corner. There was only one thing here that could be. Clothing. The sight gave him a surge of new strength, and he dashed after the blur, his ARG automatically finding its way into his hand. In the span of less than half a minute he had caught up, and without considering the wisdom of his actions, or the fact that these things could send him hurtling across the room with a flick of their little finger, he grabbed the unsuspecting Replicator by the shoulder, kicking a fallen decorative panel out of the way as he did so. Normally his tactics would never have worked, but surprise was on his side, and, throwing the full force of his weight into the charge, John set his left forearm in a bar across the Replicator's upper chest and pinned the human-form machine against the wall, shoving the barrel of the ARG into the hollow of his throat.

"How do you get to the core room from here?!" he barked. "Which way?!"

The dark haired Replicator just looked at him impassively. By his clothes he was a scientist and not a guard, which probably explained the lack of struggle. "This is most intriguing," he said calmly, dispassionate scientific interest providing the only variance in his otherwise bland tone. It was as if he were doing research in a laboratory and not standing in a dark hallway with a gun jammed into his neck. "You must be aware that we Asurans lack your human sense of self preservation, and yet you resort to threats against my life to obtain your goals."

John increased the pressure. "Which. Way?" he snarled dangerously.

The Asuran scientist angled his head to one side and looked at him curiously. "And it is odd that you ignore your own survival instincts and are instead eager to rush into almost certain death. Even the blind could see that this complex has reached its downfall. It is only a matter of moments before it will be destroyed completely."

"Just tell me," John bit out. "If our deaths are so inevitable, then it won't make much difference, now will it?"

"No. It will not."

John realized what was coming a fraction of a second before it happened. He released his hold on the Replicator just in time to avoid the arm that reached out to push him away in a thrust that likely would have thrown him at least ten feet in the air had it connected. John quickly backed away and ducked as an arm swung out of the darkness towards his head, missing him by at least a foot. There was a loud crunching sound, and, looking up, he saw that his opponent had over swung and smashed through the wall instead. He winced as he imagined that fist making contact with his skull. There was no way he could fight this guy. With that unnatural strength there wasn't much he could...

Suddenly his vision was filled with a familiar curtain of shimmering white light, and then to his utter shock, he found that the dim, shadowed paneling around him had vanished, replaced by well lit, clean, gray walls that were as familiar as the light had been. He stood there, still out of breath from his exertions, and noticed that the sounds of alarms had been switched for a quietly efficient humming noise in the background. Engines. He had been beamed aboard a ship, and, since it was the only one in the Pegasus Galaxy at the moment, it had to be the Daedalus. He had no idea exactly how long his team was overdue to check in - he had lost track of time inside the Replicator base - but he guessed it had been at least ten hours, enough to warrant Colonel Carter sending the ship to engage in a rescue mission.

"Welcome back, Colonel Sheppard," said a female voice he didn't recognize. He spun around to find a cheerful looking young lieutenant standing behind a computer console. "The rest of your team have already been beamed aboard, and Colonel Caldwell has..."

John didn't wait to hear the rest. He spun around and left the room, forcing his weary muscles to break into a run as he reached the corridor. 'Go, go, go...' ran his thoughts, a heightened feeling of dread engulfing him. 'They don't know!' His mad dash along the ship's hallways elicited strange looks from everyone he passed, but they didn't even register with him. Only one person was occupying his thoughts.

"Colonel Sheppard!" Colonel Steven Caldwell sprang up from his command chair as John burst onto the bridge. "What are you doing here? You should be in the infirmary getting yourself checked out along with the rest of your team."

"You have to scan the surface," John directed the technician nearest him, ignoring the colonel's question. "Look for life-signs near the same coordinates you picked me up from."

"Sheppard, what is the meaning of this?" demanded Caldwell.

"I haven't got time to explain." The technician, Major Marks, looked back and forth between the two officers, unsure of what to do. John caught him looking and felt a surge of irritation at the man for the time he was wasting. "Scan for life-signs and beam up the one that you find!" he ordered angrily.

"Colonel Sheppard I cannot authorize..." Caldwell began.

"Look, you don't understand! Dr. Weir is down there and the place is about to explode. We have to..."

"Wait... Dr. Weir? Calm..."

"There isn't time for me to calm down!"

"Sir, I'm not picking up any life signs from anywhere in the underground bunker," said the major.

John felt a wild stab of fear, but then he remembered. "She's in the core room. It's the generator, it causes interference. Adjust the sensors, try again!"

"Do you even know that it's really her?" questioned Caldwell. "You know better than most how easily deceptive the Replicators really are. If that's..."

"It's her!"

"I can't be sure of that."

"It is!"

"There's too much interference," said Marks. "I'm sorry sir, I've adjusted the range as much as I can, but I can't find anything to lock on."

"Then beam me back down." This was not Asuras. He was not going to take that for an answer again.

"What?! Sheppard have you gone completely insane?"

"Beam me back down!" Maybe he was insane, but he didn't care. He had to get back down there! In his mind he saw Elizabeth, fixed in place by the nanite induced paralysis. She couldn't move, she needed him! Out of the corner of his eye he saw Ronon and Rodney enter the room, casting confused eyes on the situation, but he didn't pay any attention to them. He had to get to her!

"Request denied! You said yourself the place was about to blow sky high. I am not about to let you endanger yourself in such a reckless and..."

"There isn't time for this! That is Elizabeth Weir down there! Are you going to just let her die?! "

The two men glared at each other and Caldwell began to argue some more. "Sheppard..."

"Let me go!!"

The words hadn't been out of his mouth for three seconds before there was a beep from one of the consoles. "Sir!" cried a female officer, "Sensors are picking up a large explosion coming from beneath the planet's surface!"

John froze, and for a moment his heart stopped beating. No...

Twenty seconds later, "Reporting that the underground complex has been completely destroyed," said the same voice.

It felt like the floor had suddenly opened up beneath his feet and he was falling into nothing. His eyes no longer saw what was in front of him, and his ears no longer heard what was being said around him, only a dull distant roaring sound. A coldness began to spread through his limbs. '...complex has been completely destroyed... completely destroyed...'

Even as the words echoed loudly through his mind, he quickly pulled himself together, although a deadened feeling remained. This wasn't quite over yet. The responses that came from years of being a soldier kicked in, forcing his mouth to work. "Shoot an AR pulse at the base." He turned away from the crew of the Daedalus and stepped over to the large window that spanned the entire length of the bridge. "Make sure they can't start replicating again." He stared down at the softly shining turquoise and emerald planet spinning away far below them. It looked so ordinary... so peaceful. It had no idea who it had been holding within it. Had no idea of what it had just taken from him...

He couldn't be here right now. Very slowly, he turned around and faced Caldwell again. John's face was empty, as if it had been drained of all its life. "Sir, request... request permission to beam down to the planet's surface."

Caldwell looked at him, not knowing what to say, obviously startled by the change in his demeanor, from the raging madman of a minute ago to this stone statue. Ronon and McKay walked farther into the room and stood next to each other a little distance away from John. Caldwell cast them a questioning glance.

"Let him go," said Ronon simply, his arms folded across his chest. Rodney didn't say anything. He appeared to be in a mild state of shock.

The colonel considered a moment and then nodded, looking back at John with a surprising amount of sympathy in his eyes. "Permission granted," he said quietly. "We'll set you down at the same coordinates we picked up Dr. McKay and Ronon. They were just outside one of the entrances to the bunker. We'll send that woman that was with them through the infirmary and then you can all escort her back to her village."

"Yes sir," he replied mechanically, partially turning to look out the window again.

Caldwell nodded to Marks to initiate the beaming process. "Ready sir," said the major a few button presses later. "It's starting to rain on the surface, are you sure...?"

Caldwell glanced at John again. "He's sure." He paused a moment before calling to him. "Sheppard." John glanced at him over his shoulder. "I'm sorry." There was earnest compassion in the older man's face as he spoke. John nodded in acknowledgement, too numb to feel any surprise at the sentiment.

Then the bridge of the Daedalus disappeared. For a moment his entire existence was made up of swirling, pulsating white light, and then he was alone on the planet, in a clearing ringed by trees. It was cloudy, giving the place the same level of light that would usually be expected around twilight, even though it was nearing midday. As predicted, there was a fine drizzle of rain falling, softly pattering against the leaves of the trees and coating the ground with a thin layer of moisture. However, John hardly saw or felt all that. His attention was drawn to the doorway that stood across the clearing from him, built into the side of a hill and flanked by tall leafy trees on either side that normally would have provided a decent amount of concealment. But not now.

The branches that used to screen the entrance to the underground bunker had been blasted away - now nothing more than broken twigs scattered across the dirt -and the door, or what was left of it, was now in full view. The dull bronze colored entryway was bent outward nearly in half, the top torn from its place in the doorframe, revealing the shadow filled depths of the hallway beyond. Scorch marks streaked the exposed metal. The place was totally demolished.

It had worked. Everything had gone according to plan. Except for the one part, the most important part of all, that had gone mind-numbingly, horribly wrong. Elizabeth wasn't there.

John stood in the middle of the clearing, not moving, staring at the door. The light shower of rain misted down, the water running in small trickling streams down his head and neck, washing away streaks of the dust and grime that had accumulated courtesy of the collapsing compound. But then the mental barriers that he had put in place started to crumble, the numbness began to fade, and the rain ceased to exist as it all sank fully into his consciousness. She wasn't here. He had left her behind.

He screwed his eyes shut, trying to keep the rush of memories and emotions at bay. It didn't work. 'No...' He had already done this! He had already had to watch as she sacrificed herself, already had to experience what it was like to lose her. It was like the worst possible case of déjà-vu imaginable, and he wished with everything in him that that was all it was, even though he knew... he knew such a wish was hopeless.

He was inside his nightmares, re-living them all, the ones that had plagued him ever since that awful mission gone wrong seven months ago, the ones filled with darkness and shadows and her face, fearful and alone as he abandoned her. And infinitely worse, it was like the Replicator's illusion all over again, that same sick, horrible feeling that had coursed through every part of him after he had shot her, the same sensation he had felt as he had held her dying body in his arms. The knowledge that she was gone. That it was his fault that she was gone. For good. This time there wasn't a chance that one day he would find her out there somewhere and bring her home. There was nothing. Not a single spark of light to brighten the darkness he was drowning in.

Suddenly he was back in the core room and his palm tingled as he felt her hand slip out of his grasp. He saw her eyes staring back at him as he had last seen them, their emerald green depths glittering with tears. Elizabeth... other memories burst into life before his eyes - fragments of memories, one after the other, flashing by at a lightning fast speed. Green eyes, red shirts, a curl of brown hair, a laugh, a smile, a hug, a look... Oh God, she was really gone this time... she was... she was really...

Every last inch of self composure and restraint vanished. His chest began to rise and fall rapidly as he sucked in deep lungfuls of air, his breath becoming ragged and his eyes stinging, too dry for tears. Dead. She was dead. A crazed expression entered his eyes as fury rose within him, boiling and building like an active volcano. 'no, no, no, NO!!!!' Lightning fast, he snatched up the now superfluous ARG from inside his tac vest and hurled it with all his might at the ruined entrance to the compound, where it collided with the battered door, a wordless, inhuman roar of all consuming rage and pain issuing from his mouth. He stumbled towards the entryway and, still possessed by a storm of frenzied grief, fell to his knees and grabbed the abused weapon from where it had fallen, gripping it by the barrel and beating the butt of it repeatedly as hard as he could against the solid foundation at the base of the door. Each blow was mindless, furious, his thoughts nothing but a swirling mess of anger, guilt, and wretchedness, his only desire that it was that bastard Kedan's face he were smashing in right now. He was the one who had taken Elizabeth from him. His mind fell into the rhythm of each strike. It... Was... His.... Fault!

Another jarring impact and the gun cracked and broke, the grip splitting into useless shards. John took a shuddering breath and slammed it one last time against the ground, hunching over as his now sore fingers unwrapped themselves from around the angled ridges of the barrel. He propped his elbows on the dirt in front of him and bowed his head so it rested in the palms of his hands, the ends of his black hair nearly brushing the earth beneath him. He didn't care. The violent haze that had clouded his mind was now gone, and as the horrible clarity came back to him he almost wished that it had stayed.

Why? Why did he keep having to lose her? Why couldn't he save her? Elizabeth had given him everything. A second chance, a home, a family... She had given him his life, and yet he couldn't even give her back hers. He had failed her. And now she was gone.

John slowly straightened up from his bent position and dragged himself the few feet over to the tree that stood just beside the doorway, sitting down normally and wearily leaning back on the trunk. He felt hollow inside, like he was missing a part of himself that he hadn't even known existed until it was gone. He closed his eyes and rested his head against the tree, tilting his face up towards the sky. Elizabeth's voice echoed in his mind. The bark that served as his pillow was uncomfortably hard and rough and scraped against his neck. A fresh wave of drizzling rain fell from the steely gray clouds above, plastering his hair to his head and running down the back of his uniform. It was miserable, but for the moment he didn't care.

He didn't care.

oOo

Five minutes later, shortly after the rain had stopped, the clearing was lit momentarily by a flare of pure diamond light, and then Rodney McKay and Ronon Dex appeared. Their backs were to John and they didn't see him at first. Rodney immediately began looking around, but stopped when he turned and laid eyes on John sitting beneath the tree. The scientist tapped Ronon on the back of his arm to get his attention, then stepped forwards, his face solemn. "Hey."

"Hey."

For once Rodney seemed to be at a loss for words and he glanced away, his eyes growing larger when he beheld the blasted remains of the entryway. "Woah."

"Yeah. We did a pretty impressive job, didn't we?" John couldn't quite keep the twinge of bitterness out of his voice, although he hid it well. "Did they send the pulse?"

"Yeah," said Ronon, "If there were any Replicators left alive down there we got 'em all."

"Good." There was silence for a minute or so before anyone spoke again.

"John..." began Rodney hesitantly, "what... what happened?" He sounded almost nervous, and the words began to pour rapidly out of his mouth in typical McKay style. "I mean, you come running up and tell us that you're going back, and then next thing we know you're on the bridge and you're shouting at Caldwell, and Elizabeth's..."

John sighed inwardly. He had half-heartedly hoped that they wouldn't ask right away. But he couldn't ask them to wait. They had as much right to know as he did. "It was the nanites," he said flatly, keeping any trace of emotion out of his voice. "Kedan took them over remotely and paralyzed her. She wouldn't let me stay or try to help her. She said it was too dangerous. And then when I went back the ceiling collapsed and I... I got lost. The Daedalus beamed me up before I could get to her."

Rodney swallowed deeply and nodded, again unable to speak.

"We told Caldwell the simple version of what happened before that," said Ronon. "He wanted to order you to the infirmary before we head to the village, but we talked him out of it."

Small blessings. "Thanks," John murmured. "Are you guys alright?"

"We're fine." Ronon knew him well enough that he didn't bother to ask him how he was in return, and he felt a deep sense of gratitude towards his Satedan friend.

"Come on," said Ronon quietly a minute later. "We should get going."

Rodney stirred as if waking up from a long sleep, his voice slightly unsteady. "Yeah, we should. Shanna's finished getting checked out by the doctor and she really wants to go home."

John merely nodded and began to lift himself off of the ground, his tired muscles stiff from resting after so much activity. Ronon reached down and clasped his arm, helping him to his feet. John muttered a thank you and received a dip of the head in return. "Let's go."

Rodney contacted the Daedalus with the radio that he had been given, and then, one shimmer of light later, a hushed silence reclaimed the now empty clearing, the only witnesses to the destruction the ring of trees that stood guard around the entrance, their damp leaves waving softly in the breeze.

oOo

Their second visit to the ship in orbit was a short one. They were beamed into the hallway outside the infirmary, went inside and collected Shanna, who was sitting anxiously on the edge of one of the beds waiting for them. Her clothes were as dirty as the rest of the team's, bedraggled strands of her dark brown hair had come loose and hung limply from their bun, and a white strip of gauze was taped in place over a cut on her hand, but otherwise she seemed none too much the worse for wear. The anxiety was replaced by eagerness when they told her it was time for her to go home, and she underwent the beaming process much more calmly than John would have expected from someone for whom this was only their second experience with it, and whose only exposure to such advanced technology, with the exception of the stargate, had come within the space of the past twelve hours. When they arrived on the surface of the planet, instead of awe and fright, there was only an expression of uneasiness on her face at the new mode of transportation.

The Daedalus had set them down in the woods about half a mile away from Shanna's village to avoid the commotion that might take place if they suddenly appeared out of nowhere. Shanna quickly recognized where they were, and in no time at all they were walking back down the same path that had led them into the forest at the start of the whole thing. As they walked Rodney briefed her on how to use the radio that she had been given to use in case her people ever needed to contact them. The clouds had begun to clear, and bright shafts of sunlight broke through the canopy of leaves above their heads. After being in the darkness of the Replicator compound for so long, it was nearly blinding when John stepped out of the last fringe of trees and emerged in the large field that held the village.

A great shout went up when they neared the collection of small huts, and by the time they had passed the first dwelling, the entire population had gathered to greet them. The loudest shout of all came from the tall redheaded man who ran up to the group and gathered Shanna into his arms. Derlin was near tears as he embraced his wife, as was she. "I thought I had lost you," he whispered to her.

'There,' thought John as he watched the couple's joyful reunion. 'That's one promise I kept. At least... at least I was able to bring someone home.'

Derlin, his arms still wrapped tightly around Shanna, looked up and over her shoulder at the men from Atlantis. "Thank you, Colonel Sheppard," he said sincerely, deep and never-ending gratitude in his eyes and voice. "Thank you for bringing her back to me." The two men exchanged a look, much as they had by the fire the day before - it felt like a lifetime ago - and John simply gave a slow nod in return.

Then the rest of the villagers descended on Shanna and her saviors. They were very vocal and enthusiastic in their thanksgiving, almost the complete opposite of the wary, nearly hostile people that they had met with when they first set foot on this planet. John saw an old woman hug Rodney out of the corner of his eye, making the Canadian squirm and awkwardly pat her on the back, and two young boys with dirty faces were standing in front of Ronon, staring up at him in awe while he crossed his arms and stared unflinchingly back. It was getting noisy as well. People were talking and laughing loudly, and a few had dragged out home-made musical instruments and begun to play those. Eventually John saw a chance to escape unnoticed and he took it, retreating back past the houses and towards the field in search of somewhere quiet and isolated. Celebrating was the last thing he wanted to do right now.

But it wasn't a completely clean get away. Shanna caught him leaving and slipped away from her husband's side, following him to the edge of the village. "Colonel Sheppard," she called. He sighed, stopped a few yards into the golden grass of the field, and turned to her. She looked at him, her brown eyes serious yet full of sympathy. "When we were on your ship I learned from Dr. McKay that the lomya" - It took John a second to remember that that was what these people called the Replicators. - "the lomya woman that helped us was one of your people who had been captured, and that she was killed in the explosion. I... I wish to apologize for my behavior towards her, and I would like you to know how sorry I am for the loss you and your friends have suffered. I know it must be hard for you in particular."

John started at his being singled out like that and tried to shrug off the condolence, but she wouldn't let him. She gave him a sharp look. "Colonel, I was more afraid in that place than I have ever been in my life, but I was not blind." Her tone softened. "I could see how deeply you cared for her."

John looked at the woman for a moment and then nodded reluctantly in acceptance. "Thank you," he whispered roughly. Shanna stepped towards him and laid a hand on his arm for a brief moment.

"May your stay in the darkness be a short one," she said gently, "and may the light soon guide you home." Startled by how her words echoed his earlier thoughts in the clearing, he shot her a questioning look and she explained. "It is a traditional blessing we say in times of grief." She paused before continuing, with the same level of earnestness Derlin had exhibited. "Thank you for keeping your promise, Colonel Sheppard. You and your team have earned our eternal gratitude, both for that and for ridding us of the lomya. We are in your debt." With that she gave him one last look, and then turned and walked back into the village to join her people.

oOo

Three Days Later

The sun shone brightly through the stained glass windows that lined that particular corridor, lighting up the the colorful geometric designs, and the sweep of Atlantis's towering skyline visible through the clear panes of glass gleamed magnificently in the light of early afternoon. But Ronon didn't pay much attention to the view. He was bored, and since no one could be found to spar with him, he was headed to the firing range, thinking that maybe blasting a few holes in things would make him feel better, and help him shake off the gloom that had settled over him since returning to Atlantis from that mess of a last mission. Ronon blamed most of the feeling on Sheppard. It was contagious. Although losing Dr. Weir again hadn't been easy for him, or anyone else once they heard the news, Sheppard was taking it hardest of all. The man had been walking around like a faded copy of himself ever since they had gotten back. As soon as Keller had released him from the infirmary he had thrown himself into his work, performing his duties just as well as ever, but lacking the spirit and vitality that he had always possessed before, and his usually easy going and well controlled temper ran on a shorter fuse than Ronon had ever seen it. Sheppard had taken to preferring solitude over most anything else, and spent a large amount of his time standing alone on the balcony outside of the control room. None of the expedition personnel had dared to disturb him when he was standing there, out of respect and fear for their lives if they had dared.

Ronon turned off of the sunshine filled hallway and descended a flight of stairs. The sound of faint gunfire drifted up the steps towards him. He felt mildly surprised. He had expected the place to be empty so close to the lunch hour, but obviously he was wrong. And he could guess who it was that was skipping meals to be there.

He soon arrived at the makeshift firing range that had been set up by the expedition early on in their time in the Pegasus Galaxy. The green paneled room was large, with racks full of shining black weapons standing against the walls, ranging from P-90s and MP5s to 9mm handguns, and several folding tables were set up end to end in a line on the opposite side of the room from the hanging targets, one of which floated gracefully to the floor as Ronon walked in, the paper riddled with bullet holes. He looked over at the source of the furious marksmanship, and his hunch was proved correct.

John Sheppard stood behind the row of tables, a P-90 tucked firmly in his arms, aiming at the remaining target. A pair of hearing protectors covered his ears, preventing him from hearing Ronon enter, and he was too focused on the target in front of him to see him either. John fired another burst of ammo down the range, his face clenched in a mask of anger and hatred. Whether that hatred was directed at the imaginary Replicators Ronon guessed he was shooting at, or at himself he didn't know.

John emptied the clip and set the gun down on the table in front of him, staring through its surface at something only he could see. Ronon took advantage of the lull to walk farther into the room. Raising his head John finally saw him, and he lifted the hearing protectors off of his ears, setting them down next to the empty sub-machine gun. "Hey."

"Hey. It's lunch. You eaten anything lately?"

"Got a sandwich before I came down here."

Ronon could tell he was lying, but he didn't call him on it. If he didn't want to eat that was his business. He hadn't come here to rag on his friend. He walked around the tables and hung a fresh set of targets from the ceiling, on his way back picking up the two that John had almost made into confetti and laying them on the table on top of the P-90. Ronon freed his gun from the ever present holster at his side and took a couple of shots, the whining sound from the blasts filling the room. Out of the corner of his eye he saw John pick up the topmost target covering the table. When the new ones had both been reduced to nothing more than a scrap of paper hanging from the clip, he looked at John and saw him holding his handiwork up to the light.

John glanced over and caught his eye. "Anger management therapy," he said wryly.

"Is it working?"

John laid the heavily perforated target back down. "No. Not really." He crumpled up the two targets and threw them in the trash, then removed the empty magazine from the P-90. "Not when I'm angry at myself." He began cleaning the gun, and didn't say anymore. A minute passed in silence.

"Sheppard, what happened to Weir wasn't your fault."

"Yeah. That's what they tell me." He continued to clean the weapon in his hands. Another stretch of silence, and then, "But I don't buy it. If I had just been faster... if I had hadn't left her in the first place..."

A squawk from a radio interrupted. John sighed and fished his headset out of his pocket, hooking it in place around his ear and activating it. "This is Sheppard, go ahead."

"Colonel," Samantha Carter's voice issued from the earpiece. "We just received a message from MGX-9811, the planet you just got back from."

John and Ronon both frowned. "What's the problem?"

"That's the thing, there doesn't seem to be one. I asked, but the woman I spoke with only said nothing was wrong and requested that you and your team return to the planet as soon as possible. Any idea why?"

"What was her name?"

"It was Shanna, the woman you rescued. Colonel, why would she be contacting us if there's no emergency?"

"I have no idea." John paused and thought a moment.

"It must be important though if they had to call us about it," said Ronon, folding his arms across his chest.

John nodded. "I don't know what they want," he said into the radio, "but I think we should go check it out."

Sam's sigh was audible even over the headset. "Okay, John. Tell your team to gear up. You leave in two hours."

oOo

Shanna was waiting for them when John, Ronon, and Rodney stepped out of the gate. She smiled and walked towards them, the yellow, ankle high flowering plant that covered the open field, a cross between an iris and a goldenrod, brushing against her long skirt as she moved. "Welcome! I am glad you chose to come so soon."

"Hello Shanna," greeted John. Before he could open his mouth any further to ask any questions, she was already continuing.

"Come," she said, gesturing in the direction of the village. "You must be wondering why I asked you to return here so soon after leaving us." She started walking in the direction she had pointed, leaving them nothing to do but follow her.

"Yeah, we were," said Rodney as he trudged through the flowers. "What exactly is going on?"

"Is something wrong?" asked John.

Shanna smiled again and shook her head. "No, it is as I told your commander. There is nothing wrong. In fact, things are better than they have been for quite some time, thanks to the efforts of the three of you."

"I don't mean to be rude or anything," began Rodney, "but if you're not in trouble then why are we here?"

Shanna hesitated for a moment. "It will be better if I show you," she said, a gleam in her eyes, and continued to lead the way into the forest. John and the others exchanged a suspicious glance, but didn't say anything else. A short time later they stepped out into the field that housed the village, but they didn't head towards the rough dwellings. Instead, Shanna led them along the edge of the woods, eventually reentering the trees when they had reached a certain point and following another well worn trail. "There is a lake not far from here along this path," she said. "with a small house on it that fisherman use. That is where I am taking you."

"Why?" rumbled Ronon.

She smiled broadly. "I felt that you might wish to have a private reunion."

John stopped dead in his tracks. Reunion...? "Wait, what?"

Shanna grinned. "A day after you left us a group of my people undertook a search of the forest around the lomya encampment. They were curious, after fearing to go near the place for so long. They found one of the lomya laying on the ground and brought her to the village. She was alive, and I recognized her." No, it couldn't be... "When she woke I contacted you and brought her here to the lake."

"Wait," said Rodney, "are you saying...?"

But John was already gone. Without even realizing it, he had broken into a run and was speeding down the path, soon leaving the others far behind, his thoughts spinning at a mile a minute, repeating the same thing over and over again. 'It couldn't be...' But hope flared into roaring life within him anyway. If it was really her... if she was really alive... His pulse pounded in his ears, the trees flying by. The end of the path came into sight, a bright patch of light at the end of the tunnel of trees, spurring him on even faster. 'brought her to the village... she was alive...'

Unable to contain himself, he shouted her name as he burst out of the woods and skidded to a stop. " 'Lizabeth?!" He frantically whipped his head back and forth as he searched for her. He found himself standing a short distance from the edge of a medium sized lake, a wide strip of grass between him and the narrow, almost nonexistent ribbon of rocky beach that ringed the shimmering blue water. Where was she? " 'Lizab...?!" There was a creaking sound from behind him to his right. He wheeled around so fast he almost hurt himself, and the cry died in his throat. Set back under the sheltering eaves of the forest was a small hut, just as Shanna had said would be there. It was only a one room affair made of neatly piled stones mortared together, with a low thatch roof and two small unglazed windows. But that wasn't what made John suddenly speechless. Standing at the entrance, staring at him, her hand still gripped around the side of the rough wooden door that she had just opened, stood Elizabeth Weir. Very much alive.

Her hand dropped to her side and she stepped out from under the overhang of the roof. Her white Asuran style clothes had been replaced with a pale blue tunic and long reddish brown skirt, doubtless borrowed from Shanna, and her chestnut curls had been half pulled back, away from her face. "John." She took a step closer, her eyes never leaving his face for a second. He couldn't take his eyes off her either. They both stood there for a moment, staring at each other breathlessly.

"I thought you were dead..." he breathed. "How...?"

"I told you I wasn't going to stay behind if I could help it," she said quietly, her voice filled with emotion as she echoed their earlier conversation inside his head. And then he was running again, and so was she, and then suddenly she was wrapped in his arms, and he in hers. She was alive...

As he held her, he suddenly he felt so light, so whole and complete that he hardly felt like the same man who had woken up that morning. She was the part of himself that he had been missing; it was like the other half of his soul had suddenly been returned to him. When had she become so important? So necessary? So tangled up in the very fabric of who he was that without her he could barely recognize himself?

"I'm so sorry Elizabeth," he whispered shakily. "So sorry."

"It's okay," she whispered back, her own voice unsteady as she clung to him.

"No. I should never have left you..."

"You did the right thing."

"I was coming back, but I..."

She pulled away from him in surprise. "Coming back? What...?" She fixed her eyes on his in an oh so familiar glare; equally familiar was the exasperated and admonishing sigh that escaped her lips. "John I told you..."

"Elizabeth, I couldn't just..." He broke off and glanced away, his lips drawing into a thin line. Then he looked back, his eyes boring into hers. "I couldn't stand the thought of losing you again." Her expression softened. He reached out and brought his right hand up to tenderly cradle the side of her face, drinking in the look in her shining green eyes. "I love you."

Astonishment flared in her eyes. He felt a brief moment of panic as he wondered what she would think. But it only lasted a moment. It was true. He loved her, and losing her this second time had finally made him see what had been right in front of him all along, and how vital it was. Too much time had been lost already in hesitating. He wasn't going to lose any more.

She stared at him searchingly, and when she seemed to find what she was looking for she cast her gaze to the grass beneath their feet. "If this whole experience has taught me anything," she said quietly, "it's not to waste a second chance when I get one." She looked up at him, emotions flashing through her eyes so fast that he couldn't read them. "I love you too." Their eyes locked, green on green, and more passed between them in that one look then could ever have been said with words.

He took a step forwards and gently took her face in his hands, a slow smile spreading across his face. "Well it's a good thing I know all about second chances then," he said softly. Then he was kissing her. The kiss was cautious at first, but then became slow, and gentle, and soft. It felt so right. This was what he had come so close to missing out on... As the kiss ended, their faces only an inch apart, he felt more fortunate than he had ever felt in his life. Elizabeth loved him...

He pulled her into another embrace. "You realize that I'm probably never going to let you out of my sight again, right?"

She laughed, a sound he felt like he could never get enough of as long as he lived. "I plan on holding you to that."

He grinned and kissed her again. "Carter'll be happy to save on the cost of security."

A knowing look entered her eyes, making them sparkle, and her smile grew.

"What?" he laughed.

"We're not going to have to worry about that," she beamed, freeing herself from his arms and running inside the hut. She came back out a minute later with something in her hands. A data crystal. "Not since I have this."

oOo

Three Days Previous

The entire core room shook again, and Elizabeth blinked fiercely to try and keep the dust out of her eyes, one of the few ranges of motion left available to her. From behind her a door slid open and she heard Kedan enter the room. He walked past her and stood directly in front of her so she could see him. "You have caused me a great deal of trouble, Dr. Weir."

"I tried my best."

"I am sure you have, but now, in the end, your best appears to have done you little good. Yes, you may have succeeded in ensuring the destruction of this complex, but it is of little matter. We will simply move on to begin again in a new location. You will not. I told you before that you would not leave this place alive."

She didn't respond, only glared at him, hatred for the Replicator swarming through every part of her mind. "They will. And that's all that matters."

"Ah... I see. You believe that the lives of your human friends are worth the sacrifice." He tilted his head at her. "One life especially so." Kedan took a step towards her. Instinctively she wanted to shrink back, but she couldn't. "I have always found your attachment to your former life to be extremely fascinating. You are no longer one of them, and yet you cling desperately to the idea of a home that has ceased to exist for you. You, Dr. Weir, have become more. Stronger, higher than any human, and yet your deepest wish is still to be one of them, fragile and weak." He reached into the pocket of his shirt and pulled out an orange data crystal, holding it up so it was easily visible. "Your deepest wish, and you turned it down merely to help the humans. That is counter productive."

Elizabeth took a sharp intake of breath. "You were telling the truth."

"I have no need to lie, Dr. Weir, as you should be well aware of by now. This crystal contains all the data necessary to program the nanites in your body to create human cells."

"Why are you telling me this?" Elizabeth demanded, trying to think past the swirl of hope and longing that had entered her heart and made her throat catch. She wouldn't have to depend on the nanites to keep her alive anymore. She would be fully human again. She could go home... if only she could move! She began to struggle with the nanites inside of her for control.

"One last bit of research before my departure," answered Kedan. There was a flash of color from the holographic display table next to her, that one hand was still resting on. Her eyes reflexively darted to the gently floating hologram, and then she noticed the forgotten ARG that she had lain down on the table when she had first entered the room. Kedan hadn't noticed it. If she could get to it... if she could get to it she would be free. Home. She threw everything she had into the internal battle raging inside her mind, drawing strength from memories of her city that was waiting for her, and of a handsome man with unruly black hair who always seemed to understand her. Who always knew what she needed, sometimes even before she knew what it was herself. Whose life, she had realized, was more important to her than her own. She had to get back to them. She had to go home!

"Goodbye, Dr, Weir. I believe humans would consider this ironic that you are going to die as a result of your own plans to escape. However, I would not know."

With those words he turned and began to walk towards the doorway. No! He was getting away! She retreated deep within herself and gathered every last shred of willpower she had for one final assault. This was her body, and she was going to take it back!

And then she had it. Kedan wheeled around, sensing that he was no longer in control of her nanites, and stalked towards her with frightening speed. Elizabeth lunged forwards, nearly collapsing as her muscles reacted to being released so suddenly, and threw herself over the top of the table, wildly seizing the ARG she had abandoned earlier. Just as he reached out for her, she swung her arm out and fired a blast of electric blue energy at his head. Then he was gone, the source of all her torment of the past six months, the one who had made her very existence a living hell, now nothing more than a scattering of dull metal bits on the floor.

Panting, Elizabeth levered herself off of the table and got to her feet, suddenly aware of something hard digging into her side. She reached into her pocket and pulled the object out. Of course. The detonator for the C-4. John had given it to her before they had left the lab.

The air in the core room was filled with a thick cloud of dust that refused to lift. Another explosion sounded in the background. She didn't have much time. Hurriedly, she knelt to the ground and sifted through the layer of Replicator cells that had formerly been Kedan, shoving the precious data crystal deep within her pocket, and then running out the door.

She bolted down the hallway, her mental map of the compound guiding her to the nearest transport station. They were always heavily guarded, one reason why she and the team hadn't used them to escape earlier. If she had her way she wouldn't be using one now, but there just wasn't enough time... There was one guard posted in front of the transporter when she got there. Before he even had time to reach for his own weapon Elizabeth had already shot him with the ARG. She stepped into the transporter and sank her hand into the smooth metal panel on the wall, allowing her nanites to communicate with the system. There were no other controls; the operations system was strictly Replicators only. That was the second reason for avoiding the transporters earlier.

It activated and, very similarly to the transporters on Atlantis, whisked her to her destination an instant later. Elizabeth removed her hand from the wall and stepped out. She was on the outer edge of the complex now, and she judged the distance to be enough to be safe. Flipping the switch on the detonator, she held her thumb over the button. "Fire in the hole," she muttered automatically a phrase she was sure she had probably picked up from John. Then she pressed the button. There was a tremendous booming sound in the distance as the C-4 went off, the massive force of the explosion enough to shake the entire structure. Elizabeth began to run for the exit.

Just as the door was in sight some piece of debris flew out of the darkness and struck her hard on the back of the head. She staggered and nearly fell, black and white spots flashing before her eyes and pain shooting from the base of her skull. She struggled to stay conscious as she swiped her hand over the door panel and rushed outside into a dimly lit, heavily forested area, but she didn't get more than twenty yards away before she fell to the hard ground and darkness claimed her.

oOo

"I missed seeing the stars," Elizabeth said as she gazed up at the sky, leaning in closer against John's side and resting her head on his shoulder. "I missed being outside period." They were sitting side by side on the ground beneath the spreading branches of a tree on the shore of the lake. A glittering expanse of stars shone above them. Two moons hung in the sky, one a pale violet color that reflected its light down on the inky black water of the lake.

John laid his head against hers and joined her in looking at all the celestial splendor. "Yeah. I was getting a little claustrophobic just after being in there for twelve hours."

She chuckled softly. "No you weren't!"

"Yes, I was!" he laughed as he defended himself. "Really! Thought I was turning into Rodney for a while there."

Elizabeth just laughed some more and turned her face into his shoulder. John grinned and angled his head so he could lay a kiss on the soft brown curls. It surprised him how quickly and naturally those small gestures of affection had come to him. When he had dragged himself out of bed that morning he had been lost, drifting, and empty. Never would he have imagined that in the space of less than twenty-four hours his entire world would have turned upside down in such a perfect way, that he would be sitting next to Elizabeth Weir, holding her, and they would have admitted that they loved each other.

"Do you think he's ever going to get over it?" she wondered.

"Who?"

"Rodney. He seemed so floored."

"You rose from the dead for the second time in less than a day. Who could blame the guy? And I think he still feels guilty about reactivating your nanites in the first place."

"Are you still angry at him for doing it?"

"No. Not if him not doing it would have meant that I would be missing this."

She lifted her head up, their eyes meeting. She thought for a minute, her face serious. "Me too." John was moved. He had seen how much pain she had been through at the hands of the nanites, how much it had all cost her. And for her to say that this, what they had, was worth all of that… She inched closer and tenderly kissed him, their foreheads touching after they broke apart. Her eyes still closed, she gave a small smile. "I still haven't gotten used to being able to do that."

He smirked softly. "Me neither."

There was a lull of contented silence. "We should go home soon shouldn't we?" asked Elizabeth.

John sighed. "Probably. Not that I really want to move right now."

"Rodney'll be upset if we make him walk down here to get us," she said teasingly.

He rolled his eyes. "Well, we wouldn't want that now, would we?" She laughed. "Okay, fine!" Reluctantly, he pulled himself to his feet, offering her a hand to help her up. She took it and they began walking hand in hand towards the path to the village where the rest of the team were waiting. A mild breeze blew through the air, and the stars glimmered overhead, the gentle murmur of the water lapping the rocky shore lending a faint rhythm to the scene.

John glanced over at Elizabeth as they strolled along and caught her already looking at him, the soft purple moonlight lending her features a diffuse radiance. Some strange impulse to speak struck him. "Nothing's ever going to be quite the same you know."

"No it won't," she said, smiling serenely at him. "It's going to be better."

The End.

A.N.2: And that's it! Thank you all so much for reading! I really appreciate all of you who have stuck with me on this story. Thank you guys for all of your reviews as well, and don't forget to please leave one for this chapter! Pleeeassse! Cause if you've been reading the story and haven't reviewed, then this is your last shot! I'd love to hear people's opinions.

Thank you all again!

-Erin

(A.N.3: Oh, and I've also made a trailer for this fic and posted it on Youtube. The link is in my profile, so if you'd like give it a watch! :) )