I'd like to thank those TF2 writers who make awesome stories instead of crappy ones. They inspired me to put my short stories up, even if they aren't the best. Thanks for inspiring me to keep going with this, you guys! (I bet they don't know who they are but I do and that's what counts?) So anyway, it's just a short story about Red Vs Blu. Usually in my various short stories I switch who's winning or losing, just so that people who have a certain viewpoint don't feel like I'm picking on their favorite group. Personally, I play both sides, and have fun with it.

BUT ANYWAY. Enough rambling. Please:

READ ON!

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RED's Heavy Weapons Guy grumbled loudly as he hefted his weapon up and trudged through the base. He heard that there was a… disturbance within the base, but he couldn't see any disturbances! Well, aside from the missing donuts, but that was at breakfast, nothing was disturbed now!

"Mmrrrrrmfff!" Heavy whirled around and spotted RED's resident Pyro. S/he was waving Heavy down and pointing off around a corner, "Mrrrmff!" Pyro shouted again before running off. Heavy grumbled loudly at being interrupted and lumbered after his teammate.

"What is it, Pyro? Speak to Heavy! Iz baby team hiding in base?" Heavy shouted after the sprinting Pyro. The man rounded a corner and was gone from sight, "Wait up! I want to kill things too…!"

The moment Heavy rounded the corner, however, he was met with a spray of bullets. BLU's own Engineer tapped his wrench on his shoulder and watched his turret do the work for him. Heavy roared in anger and prepared to take them both down, "You want to fire Little GIRLY Weapon at me? I will SLAUGHTER you ALL!"

And then Heavy gave a gasp. A butterfly knife had entered his back, and his blood flowed freely from the multiple wounds caused by both bullets and knives. He dropped to the floor with a thud that resulted in a tiny shockwave for Engineer. RED's Pyro stared at Engineer, and after a few seconds of standoff, Pyro removed his/her mask and revealed a regulation BLU Spy mask.

"You're the only one I know who kin wear two masks at once, Spy," Engineer said cockily as his turret went to sleep. Spy glared at his friend and flicked his spent cigarette at him. As he lit another one, Engineer turned to the darkened figure in the corner, "It's safe ta come out now."

"'Save to come out now' indeed…" a low growl came from the figure, "Zere has been some zought zat I cannot take care of myself, hmmm? Who vas vatching your back zat whole time, Dummkopf?" BLU's Medic muttered lightly. He fiddled with and snapped his rubber glove into place as he continued, "Vell, you're not hurt, I zink?"

"No, I…" Engineer was cut off as Medic walked by him nonchalantly and rummaged through Heavy's corpse. Spy and Engineer stared as Medic tisked angrily.

"Not even a beer to vash down ze taste of smoke," he grumbled, "Let's get zis over wit so vee can get out ov here, it zmells like zee fecez of a schweinhund in here."

"When does it not?" Engineer said jovially. He was met with sound glaring, and he coughed into his hand, "Sounds like a plan," he muttered, "But isn't that Pyro still hanging around here?"

"If we're going to get that intelligence, then we'll have to avoid him. Blasted man, 'Spy Check! Spy Check!' I'll spy check HIM…" Spy hissed to himself. Medic restrained his urge to smack his teammate into silence (indeed, when "Pyro" came up, it became one of the only times Spy spoke aloud, gloating aside, of course).

"Just get a move on, 'Zpy', and don't let oz down," Medic said quickly, "Uff, Herr 'Hard-Hat', Vere off."

"Right then," Engineer replied, petting his beloved turret and then abandoning it to trot off after the Medic. The two left Spy on his own, which suit the man quite fine. Spy pulled out his disguise kit, and soon he was dressed as the downed Heavy. Afterwards, he checked his invisibility cloak and then disappeared.

"Heheh…" the invisible Spy chuckled as he snuck off to watch his teammates' backs. Pyro or no, he had a job to finish, and this time, he had back up, "Spy Check, Spy Check. How are you going to stop this one now, eh…?"

It was a bad day to be in RED's shoes at that moment…

End

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Hope you guys enjoyed it. Some notes include Pyro, who is "Gender Ambiguous" in this and other stories I've concocted. To keep with the "omfg is Pyro male or female?" argument. Personally, I could care either way, but "it" makes it sound demeaning, so I use "s/he" or "his/her" or "him/her" or whatever. Usually I pronounce it "Shuhe", "hisher", and "himher", just for comedic effect. Or you could just download the story, erase all the pronouns you don't like, and read that way.

Also, I can speak a pretty good German accent, if I do say so myself (If I couldn't, my grandparents would haunt me from the grave), but transcribing it on paper/computer is a bitch and I suck. Hope Medic doesn't sound like crap here.

Also I don't care what anyone says; I'm totally hoping that Spy is Italian. ("Prego!") That'd be awesome as hell. However, I will keep his accent to a minimum so you can imagine what you want. If I ever make him using a different language, he'll probably end up using all three (French, Spanish, Italian) that he is heard using over the game.

And so there you have it. Nooooooootes! Please respond. I'd adore it if someone told me how much they liked or disliked it.