HI!! This is my first fanfiction, so please be gentle. I've had this story in mind for about 4 months now, so it's high time I did something about it. This is a very random Zetsu/OC oneshot lemon..Poor Zetsu never gets any love. T-T

(my OC) -Umi- She is short, about 5'3. Long brown hair, stopping about midback. Big, chibi looking green eyes. Fair cup size, and she isn't a mary-sue, she actually has a rather fat ass. XD But I'm gonna go ahead and assume Zetsu is into big butts. So bear with me. Umi is Zetsu's new surbordinate now that Tobi is in the Akatsuki. She was an spy for Takigakure (Waterfall Village) but got caught by Akatsuki, they gave her a choice to either join their ranks or die. So of course she chose to live. So her being a spy, Leader put her as partners with Zetsu, she calls him her danna (Master) since he is much more skilled. She has been with the Akatsuki for 1 year now, and labeled as a missing-nin. (also, zetsu's white half is regular text, his dark half is mismatched.)

(Disclaimer) Roses are red. Violets are blue. If you tell me one more time I don't own Naruto. I'll send Kisame out to skin you!! -TechnoTobi

Pleasure (Umi POV)

"This by far, is the most annoying mission EVER!" She thought as she trudged behind the ever slow moving Zetsu on a Reconnaissance mission. Sure, gathering information, surveying the region, and examining every single peice of information obtained by the giant flytrap was fun and all, but didn't he ever need a break?? Umi sighed again as her danna rounded another corner in the large and ominous Forest of "Death."

"Psh" she slewed. "Some Forest of Death, we've been surveying and spying on the kyuubi kid for what, 3 weeks now? And we havn't even been attacked!" She thought with spite, almost hoping for something to happen, it seemed as though when she was parterned with Zetsu, Leader knew he was making a good choice. "Well, Zetsu and I are both good at what we do, and that's staying low, shutting up, and observing." She huffed again.

"Is something on your mind, Umi-san?" Zetsu's polite half asked. She stumbled for a response. "Err..no Zetsu-danna, why do you ask?" "You keep making audible sounds...YoU cOuLd GeT uS cAuGhT, sTuPiD bItCh!!" "Sorry Zetsu-danna, just I have a strange feeling." "Oh?" His polite half offered. "What sort of.. StRaNgE fEeLiNg?" "Well," I began "We have been spying on the Jinchuriiki for weeks now, and ANBU are on high alert knowing that the Akatsuki want him, so why havn't they noticed us yet?"

"Heh," He chuckled. "You and I are highly skilled spies hailing from the Grass and.. WaTeRfAlL vIlLaGeS.. Leaf ANBU are not familiar with our techniques." "Oh" I started, suddenly feeling very embarrassed. Not knowing what else to say, I started again. "Um, Zetsu-danna?" "Hm?" He grumbled low in his throat. "May we please take a break? We've been traveling since dawn and it's almost noon.." I trailed off. He stopped midstep and seemed to consider my request. It was silent for several moments before he answered.

"ThErE iS a StReAm FuRtHeR AhEaD.. we'll stop there." he called out behind. I sighed thankfully thinking about how blissful it would be to soak my hot, tired feet in the cool stream, and gathering several gulps of water, before having to continue our examination of the land." We walked probably another 1/3 of a mile before we reached the small stream hidden within the cloak of several small Plum tress which were in full bloom. The delicate scent wafted up to my nose as I breathed in deeply.

"Mmm" I moaned lightly, not actually meaning to make it audible. I saw Zetsu visibly go rigid at my noise. Thinking I had interupted his quiet thoughts I apologised quickly "Sorry danna." "It's fine.. Go TaKe YoUr BrEaK, wEnCh. wE'rE lEaViNg In 15 MiNuTeS.." "Yes danna!" I quickly left to go explore further down the stream and pick a nice spot to relax for the short 15 minutes I had. I took off my ninja sandals and pulled up the hem of my battle kimono. Sticking my tired feet into the cool stream was almost like Heaven. "Ahh" Almost not being able to help myself from making the small pleasurable noise.

Down the stream I could see Zetsu staring into the water, looking as if contemplating something. But it didn't matter, "If Zetsu wanted me to know something, He'd let me know." I thought throwing the subject off. Raising my Kimono higher you could see my black shorts stopping mid-thigh. I raised up and stood in the water, walking around in the stream letting the cool water rush past my legs.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Zetsu staring. Not that I cared, I know I have a fat ass. The first day I joined, Hidan let EVERYONE know that the new girl had a huge ass. I growled at the memory.

-Flashback-

I walked into a group full of what looked like all men and one woman, with Zetsu after being assigned by leader to be his new partner. "Hey Zetsu, who's the bitch? You ain't gonna eat her are ya?" Yelled out the silver haired man with magenta looking eyes. "Her name is Umi.. ShE iS mY pArTnEr.. and shut up Hidan." "Psh, what the fuck ever, man." Zetsu cleared his voice so that the other members would pay attention. "Umi," He began. "The silver haired man over there is Hidan..AnD tHe OnE wItH tHe MaSk Is.. his partner Kakuzu."

Kakuzu looked up from his book, and gave a half-hearted wave. While Hidan on the other hand proceeded to get up from his seat and take Umi's hand in his own and slowly licked it. "Pleasure to meet you, OO-MI" He emphasized the syllables. Umi's eyes were very wide at the sudden gesture. "Uhh..nice to meet..you too?" She blushed slightly. Hidan smirked and then started again. "So, do you practice a certain religion? Everyone groaned at the mention and knowing where this was headed.

He grinned. Umi, still slightly wide-eyed answered, "No, I don't really do religion" His grin slowly faded into an evil smirk. "Well that really is a fuckin' shame, cause I was hoping that I wouldn't get another Jashin-damned Heathen as a comrade!" He bellowed bringing around his large, red three bladed sythe the slam down into her chest. But Umi quickly dodged to the left, and shinked out a small dagger from her thigh holster and imbedded it up to the hilt in his temple before he had time to move. Umi stood unblinking at her work, thinking she had killed the poor bastard, she slipped it out and kicked his carcass to the floor next to his sythe and turned around to face everyone.

Kakuzu "Hm'ed" and went back to his book, while other members started to laugh and shout out how Hidan got "owned by a woman!" or "got knocked the FUCK out!" Umi stood still listening to their jests. "Why are they still talking to him, he's dead, he can't hear them make fun of him.." She pondered in her thoughts. But she went rigid as she felt a hand grab onto her ankle, she looked down into the eyes of Hidan and he commented. "You know, from this position your ass looks even BIGGER!" The laughing got even louder as I kicked his hand away and slammed my foot into his face. "PERV!!" I shreiked. And it has been a running joke ever since...

-end flashback-
"Ehh" I sighed again, "at least it's not horribly big" I thought suddently self conscious to the fact that Zetsu was looking at me even more intensly than before..He reminded me of a cat that was reading to pounce. I blushed slightly, remembering that Zetsu had once commented that he thought it "suited me" What he had ment by it, I didn't know, but whatever. I wadded over to him, smiling all the way over there. "Oi, Zetsu-danna, are you alright?" The look on his face was priceless, apprently he didn't know that I had been watching him stare. His blush faded within a matter of seconds as I wordlessly swished over to him.

"Hm..oh yes!...I'm FiNe, DaNmIt" I smiled lightly as I reached the small shore, and sat within a few inches of him, Knowing full well that I was invading his personal space, but like I said earlier, if he wanted to tell me something, I would know. "Hmm", I cooed at the relaxing aura surrounding this spot. Grabbing hold of my battle kimono I set the folds apart to reveal my black shorts and fishnet top with a small black shirt over it. Usually I wouldn't think about taking off my battle kimono in front of Zetsu, but DAMN it was hot!! I once again noticed Zetsu looking to and fro out the corner of his eye.

I was a little self conscious about my body, but it wasn't like it was ugly, I had scars here and there, but nothing too noticable. Especially with the light tan I had gotten during the hot summer months, the scars had faded into the tan. I sighed again, Jeez I was making a lot of noise today, something that someone in my profession learns to stop...very quickly. I adjusted the sides of my kimono so that they fell on either side of my bust revealing my clevage slightly through the fishnet.

And before I could even register what happened, my back was to the ground and there was something soft and warm pressed down hard onto my lips. I opened my eyes wider to gaze into the multi-colored face of my danna...Zetsu. I could hardly breathe. "Oh my God is this really happening?" "What is going on?" I thought frantically to myself. Then I felt my wrists get pinned above my head, and felt the rough callouses of his palms against them to clarify that I was indeed, NOT dreaming.

I then felt his hot toungue brush against my bottom lip, I groaned mildly at the sensations that were all too new to me. I parted my small mouth and let him delve into me, tasting, sucking, licking and carressing anything and everything his tongue could reach. I moaned slightly this time, he seemed pleased with my reaction and started going harder. I started fighting back with my own tongue and he growled with new vigor, now seeing that I would comply. He slowly climbed on top of me, while still grasping my wrists above my head...not that I would try and stop him or anything. I grinned into the kiss, and leaned forward trying to close the gap between mine and his chest.

His hips bucked down, cause my legs to lurch outwords, successfully gaining access between my legs, not knowing what to do, I wrapped them around his waist and brought him closer. I could now feel the hard bulge rubbing against my inner thigh, I blushed, knowing what it was. He broke the kiss to travel his smooth, warm lips further down my body and settled on the curve of my neck and shoulders, there he bit down and sucked hard. "Ohhh..Ze..Dann..ah" I barely breathed out, I had no idea that my danna could make me feel this way.

He slowly let go of my pinned wrists and let his hand travel south, smoothing out my hair and brushing them over my slightly swollen lips, then finally coming to rest on my breasts, giving them a gentle squeeze. His left hand traveled even further, lifting up my sorry excuse for a shirt and fishnets, unstrapping my bra with one hand. Hearing the soft clip of the material he lifted it out from under the shirt tossing it in some unknown direction. My shirt lifted up and no bra, I was feeling very exposed underneath him.

His hands roamed the expanse of my chest, to my hard nipples and grace my taunt stomach with slow arches of his fingertips. He leaned down pulling his right hand to rest on my neck, pinching and giving gentle squeezes to the already forming love bites he had previously made. I gasped out as I felt his hot tongue lazily form circles around my nipples, stopping at times to nip or suck at them. "Nyahh..Zet..su..mmm" I groaned, the feeling overwelming. The hot tight sensation in between my hips was becoming all the more apparent, as he continued to suckle away, occassionally letting his right hand carress my curves.

All too soon for my liking, he stopped his actions and looked up at me. My face was flushed, and eyes glazed over with lust and pleasure, as was his. He leaned back up to kiss me once more, grinding his lower body into mine, as if silently telling me of what was to come. "Oh. My. God." I thought, after his kiss, he layed down on top of my once more and bent down to my ear and whsipered "Do you really want to do this, Umi-san?" nibbling slightly on my ear while waiting for my answer, I was already out of cohearent thought, So I said the first thing that came to mind. "Zetsu...please...I...mmm" Desperatly not wanting him to stop, but not being able to form the right words in my mouth. I said nothing afterwords so He readily assumed I was willing.

Taking my breast into his mouth again he sucked harder than before. I cried out at the unfamiliar feeling, though slightly painful feeling his sharp canines brush against my tender flesh, it felt...soooo good. All the foreplay was seriously getting to me. I am a virgin, I cannot wait any longer. I needed to be fucked hard...NOW. I felt his hand slipping into my waistband playing with my pantyline, I arched my back, pressing my soft breasts against his collarbone. Once again he seemed very content with my reaction and started going even further.

His lips left my mouth and his body was off mine. "what the hell?" I thought and then saw that Zetsu was beside me trying to figure out how to get the straps off my shorts. I giggled slightly and undid the straps with ease, pulling them off my lithe form and lying back down on the soft grass clad in nothing but my fishnet shirt and my panties. He gazed over my form, drinking in all he could, cause who knows the next time this might ever happen?

He quickly pulled out a kunai and shreaded my pale pink panties in one swift move. and pulled off my fishnet top as well, not that it left anything to the imagination anyways...Just now noticing that I was completely nude, and he was completely dresed I felt the sudden urge to undress him as well, but before I could reach my hand up to his cloak, he had already unclasped it, and the venus flytrap that he so constantly wore around his figure was sliding back into his skin. The only thing left was the mandatory akatsuki pants and white cloth leg-warmers with his ninja sandals.

I reached up to him and undid the button on his pants and pulled them down to -embarrassingly- realize he wasn't wearing any underwear. I blushed furiously and he only smirked at my flustered reaction. Zetsu was um...just wow. Noticing my stand still, he stood up and pulled down his pants and slipped out of them along with his shoes and legwarmers standing before me in all his manly glory, completely nude...I wasn't quite sure what to think, so Zetsu did that for me. He pulled me back down into my backside, and kissed me feverishly. Straddling me once more, his hand gave free roam of my now totally exposed body, while I for the first time felt his hard sinewy muscles flex under the skin at my featherlight touches.

He groaned lightly at the sensation for once. Happy that I had accomplished this task, I looped my arms around his neck to pull him closer, and also wrapped my legs around his torso trying to give him a hint to hurry it up. He obviously understood, because he stopped his kissing and leaned up so that he was on his knees between my legs..waiting. He opened his mouth to say something but he blushed instead, wordlessly I nodded, giving my persmission he plunged himself hard and quick into my tight..and previously virgin...opening... I screamed out at the ripping feeling I felt in the most sensitive part of my body before Zetsu covered my lips with his own to muffle the sound. I jerked up desperatly clinging onto anything I could grasp. Tears welled up in my eyes as the pressure of his thick shaft stretching and ripping my tight opening.

"MMPH!!..Mmmmm..mm" The tears now falling from my eyes freely. Getting used to the feeling quickly I tested by pushing down slightly. I winced, it still hurt too much. But the pleasure of him filling me so fully was starting to kick in now..I moaned lightly as his cock pulsed, feeling it generated several near shock feelings rocketing through my body. Several moments passed by and I tested it once again. "OHH!" I moaned rather loudly, this time, it felt wonderful. I looked up at Zetsu who was obviously having to restrain himself to keep from pounding into me while I adjusted, and kissed him, grasping into his shoulders and pulling myself near his ear I whispered "Zetsu, I'm re..ready."

Zetsu didn't waste a second before grabbing me by both hips pushing me up and slamming me back down hard onto his stiff cock. "AHH!!" I cried out, sheer pleasure skittering across the nerve endings in my body. Zetsu stiffined and readied himself to go again but not so rough. He pulled me up again and I let myself down, slowly onto his waiting erection, I circled my hips trying to adjust even more, but Zetsu lost all control over the tight heat enveloping his solid member and flipped us both over.

He grabbed me by the hips and roughly slammed into my heat with all the power he could muster into each thrust. I screamed out and he was visibly shaken with the sheer exstacy of the moment and pleasure. Ramming into me again and again, so hard that I thought he'd break my hips, and then I felt him brush against me deep inside and I just bearly was able to moan out "Nyghh..Zet..AH..su..mmm...the-ere..ohh" He pushed in again seemingly aiming his erection to something, he rammed himself hard, hearing the wet schlick sound of my juices and my loud moan he knew had hit my g-spot.

(Zetsu POV)

Hitting that spot hard time and time again was proving very fruitfull, with loud moans of pleasure coming from his small lover beneath him, calling his name, begging and pleading to do it again, to go deeper, crying because of the pleasure he was giving her. It was all a very satisfying and egofluffing deal. No women would ever give into his advances...hence he usually subjected them rape and then eating the bodies, but no, this woman beneath screaming for him to fuck her senseless and to make her cum...willingly. "Umi is definantly something else." He thought as he picked up the pace and started getting rougher and harder.

(normal POV)

Throughout the forest grounds you could her the woman moaning to Zetsu, he did nothing to stop her loud cries, who else would be in the Forest of Death? So he let her cry, scream and beg as loud as she wanted. Roughly slamming into her tight folds, the wet pounding of their bare flesh hitting each other resounding throughout the moans and cries. Until finally the pressure was bulding up, and his pace was starting to get faster and uneven. Umi still crying loudly as her lover sheathed himself into her time and again. Then as sudden as it all began, a white flash of liquid fire burnt through her veins almost stopping her heart as she cried out one last time as she came onto Zetsu still hard shaft. Zetsu followed soon after shooting his seed deep into his young surbordinate. Almost crying out from it as well.

Basking in the intense aftershocks of both of their orgasms, they lay there staring up at each other smiling contently at one another. His knees now finally registering that they were hurting, Zetsu pulls out with a light pop sound and lays down next to his newly found lover. He grabs his Akatsuki cloak and draps it across both of them and pulls Umi close to him and snuggles his face into her neck. Umi, still about ready to have a Kakuzu-sized heart attack gently prodded his head up to look into her clear emerald eyes lovingly.

"Hey Zetsu-danna?" She asked "Yes?" he leaned down "That was way longer than 15 minutes.." she confirmed with a smile. He bent his head down into another kiss with the smaller woman. "I wOn'T tElL lEaDeR.. if you don't..." He sealed her lips with another kiss.

The End!!

Hahahaha! That owned. I started at 1:54 AM and I finished at 4:23 AM Satuday! My first story and whatnot so please be nice, but flames are always welcome because they help me get better. much love! TechnoTobi R&R pwease!