Too Much to Handle.

By Mithua.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. If I did, I'd be a millionaire living in a huge mansion on my own island named Mithuaville or some other weird name.

***

Crawling in my skin

These wounds they will not heal.

Fear is how I fall

Confusing what is real.

There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface.

Consuming/ Confusing.

This lack of self of self- control I fear is never ending.

Controlling.

I can't seem to find myself again.

My walls are closing in.

[Without a sense of confidence and I'm convinced there's just too such pressure to take]

I've felt this was before,

So insecure.

'Crawling' by Linkin Park.

***

Chapter 1: Responsibilities.

A faint glow of a hallway light was switched on. It barely illuminated room, the hallway of a run down house in the outskirts of London. The exhausted figure stumbled up the stairs and into a dimly lit room. The person lying on the bed was pale, and her breathing sounded painful and raspy. Sweat beaded and rolled off her forehead. The reassuring purr of her cat was heard at the foot of the bed. Hermione smiled at her cat. Crookshanks was always full of hope and he always protected her mother while she wasn't at home. Hermione was now a 19-year-old woman and was leading her own life. She had waist length, curly brown hair with she kept in a braid, and she had grown to be fairly tall for her age. She had a slim figure and always wore dark blue robes.

"Thanks Crookshanks. I'll get some extra treats for you," Hermione silently spoke to her cat.

Before doing so, she gathered up a clean cloth and dampened it. She gently wiped her mother's forehead and cooled down her temperature. After doing this, she fed Crookshanks and was ready to head for bed.

Hermione fell into an unpleasant sleep. She was running in the darkness, away from all the shadows after her. Tears burned in her eyes. No one could help her. Not even her friends. They were no help to her. She felt how her legs felt heavier as she took each step. The shadows were catching up with her; there was no place to hide. Two pairs of shadowed hands reached out. She looked at them in fear, as they were coming closer and closer. She started to hear a faint cry.

Hermione's eyes snapped open. 'Damn nightmares' Hermione thought and shivered. She got out of bed and headed for another room, where the crying was coming from. She switched on the light and peered into the cot in the middle of the room. She picked up the crying baby and sat down on her rocking chair. She shushed her gently and rocked her. The baby instantly calmed down. Hermione smiled at her little daughter and slowly lifted some of her cloths so that her child could feed. She hummed a lullaby and watched her suckling child. Crookshanks appeared inside the room and jumped beside Hermione. Crookshanks cared for the child as much as Hermione did. She waited until her child fell asleep again and placed her back in her cot.

"Good night Varee." Hermione whispered and stroked away the blonde strands.

***

After only 3 hours of sleep, Hermione woke up and walked into her mother's room. Hermione looked worriedly at her mother. She knew she was dying, but there was still a chance she would bet healthy again. Hermione hoped that day would come soon, but with every passing day, she was losing hope on the survival of her mother. If her mother died she'd be left alone. Her father had died just a year ago through HIV, and the depression had overwhelmed her mother that she became sick herself. So Hermione had taken her into her own care, and through an incident 9 months ago she now had another life to look after. Hermione sighed and injected the medicine her mother needed. She then walked towards Varee's room and fed her daughter. She then bathed her and dressed her. Hermione then left her daughter and apparated to work.

"GRANGER! WHERE ARE YOU!" the angry voice of Hermione's boss yelled as soon as Hermione reached her desk. Hermione shivered a little and turned around. There she came face to face with an angry girl of Asian origin.

"Miss Chang? Is there a problem?" Hermione stuttered a little.

"What do you call this?" Cho Changed yelled and waved a piece of parchment at her face.

"It's my article," Hermione replied.

"Article! This is garbage! This is a disgrace! This is crap knowledge! You really think Mr Malfoy will let you put that in 'The Daily Prophet'!" Cho yelled at the girl. Hermione didn't reply.

"Write it again and I want it in precisely a half hour!" Cho spat and turned away.

Hermione sighed. At school, those sorts of comments would have wounded her pride and she would fight back. But now she had grown up and she had become used to them as Cho was making work a living hell. She hated her job. She was Daily Prophet reporter. And Cho Chang was her boss, in her department of the newspaper. The editor was none other than Draco Malfoy. But it was the highest paying job she could find. Harry and Ron had managed to get into the Ministry of Magic as Magical Creature's Carer. They just made sure that no dangerous magical creature managed to do any harm to the Muggles. Hermione sighed even more. She had missed her friends so much, and the past year had been really tough on her. Where were they when she needed them? All she had was an old school picture of her two friends that she took with her everywhere. She took out the picture from her wallet and looked into the faces of boys. They looked back concerned at her. She sighed more and started on her article.

The first break came and Hermione was relieved. She rushed into the toilets before anyone else could stand up and got a cubicle to herself. She then apparated back to her home and checked up on her daughter. Crookshanks was by the baby and making the baby giggle. Hermione smiled and then went into her mother's room. Her mother was still asleep, but the heaving of her chest reassured Hermione that she was well. Hermione then breastfed her daughter and changed her. She thanked Crookshanks again for taking care of her family and apparated back to work. She had been worried that she would be late but arrived just in time.

Hermione carried on with work. Writing and re-writing articles, getting yelled at by Cho and researching for future articles. And every so often she would escape to the toilet to look after her family. She always arrived home, late and occurring nightmares haunted her sleep. This was the life of Hermione Granger.

***

It was another day at work and Hermione was re-writing another article. 'To hell with this,' Hermione thought as she scrunched up her parchment and magically threw it into the bin. Hermione didn't see how her first draft had been bad. 'Damn Cho!' Hermione cursed inwardly and got out another piece of parchment. It was at times like this she wished she had a computer, but the Daily Prophet didn't approve of muggle equipment. It was then she felt a tap on her shoulder. Hermione turned around to face Hannah Abbot, an old Hufflepuff at Hogwarts.

"Hey Herms, me and Parvati are going to the Leaky Cauldron. Wanna come?" the blonde asked.

Hermione shook her head.

"Can't. I have to re-write another article before I can leave." Hermione said sadly.

"Cho's still at you huh?" Hannah asked.

"Yeah."

"She should grow up. Anyway, I'll see you later then!" Hannah said and walked away with Parvati.

Hermione sighed again and the memory of the day Cho had come to hate her, flashed through her head.

She and Harry had been sitting by the lake under the summer sun. They had finally finished all their exams they would appear at Hogwarts. They chatted idly about what they thought they would be doing after leaving school. Ron had gone to Hogsmeade where he'd meet Fred and George, who now owned their own joke shop. Harry and Hermione would join them later.

Hermione lay down on the grass and peered into the sky. It was then she noticed a small owl coming toward her and Harry. It stopped in front of Hermione and she took the letter. Harry smiled at her, thinking that she had been accepted to work somewhere, knowing how organised she was. He then frowned when he saw her expression change.

"What's wrong Hermione?" he asked and saw how her face paled and tears were filling her eyes.

Hermione said nothing and handed him the letter. Harry's eyes widened as he read the words written in shaky writing, and the ink was blurry through tears.

"Hermione. I'm so sorry," Harry said and wrapped his arms around her comforting her. Hermione cried silently on to Harry's shoulder. Her father had died. After rocking her gently and whispering comforting words in her ear, Hermione calmed down. She lifted her head from Harry's shoulder and gazed at him. Then what happened just happened. She had kissed him. At first he froze, but kissed her back. Then the crack of a branch parted them. And an angry Cho looked upon them. She then turned and ran away.

"Cho!" Harry called. But she ignored him.

Hermione remembered how much she loved Harry. That kiss was so gentle and soft. And it had all been ruined thanks to that girl. 'She only had a stupid crush on Harry. She wasn't Harry's girlfriend. She had the chance before but she blew it off!' Hermione thought angrily as her usually neat writing became rough.

Hermione left the article in Cho's office for her to check it. She then stumbled to the exit of the now empty office of the Daily Prophet. Walked out the door.

"Hey Herms." A sleek voice greeted her coldly. Hermione froze on the spot, not only because of the voice, but because that person placed a charm on her. Hermione turned around and faced the one person she hated more than anyone else on this planet.

"Good Evening Mr Malfoy." She greeted coldly.

"No need for such formality after working hours," he said, his sleek blonde hair glistening.

"You know what day it is?" Malfoy asked smiling evilly.

"Yes." Hermione said weakly.

"You know what the penalty is if you try to escape?" Malfoy asked, his smile getting bigger and more evil.

"Yes," Hermione said close to tears.

"Then come with me," Malfoy said and opened the door again. Hermione followed obediently. Knowing what the consequences would be if she ran away.

Malfoy locked the door to his office and turned to face Hermione. Hermione was shaking in fear not facing him. Malfoy walked up to Hermione and slowly untied the string holding together Hermione's braid. Running his hands through her hair, made her shiver madly. Malfoy tugged hard on her hair and that made her stop shivering. Once her hair was free, Malfoy started to kiss the nape of her neck relentlessly, and biting her sometimes. He ran his hands down her sides and found the buttons that tied her robes together. Once her robes were off, he turned her around and kissed her lips hungrily. Hermione whimpered a little but he let that pass. She knew this was all out of dirty lust. He never liked her; he hated 'mudbloods.' Hermione shivered again. It was then Malfoy hit her hard across the face.

"You know I hate shivering!" he spat at Hermione. She nodded and rubbed her red face. She was going to have a black eye tomorrow.

Malfoy grabbed her by the arms and swung her to around. He threw himself inside of her. Hermione screamed in pain. But was then hit hard across the face.

"I hate screaming as well!" he yelled at Hermione and started to thrust relentlessly inside her. Hermione bit her lip and tried hard not to cry out in pain again. Tears streamed down her face. She flinched every now and then but Malfoy let it pass.

It was a while later when Malfoy stopped and put on his robes. He stared at Hermione, grinning like a hyena. Hermione lay on the floor, and tried to catch her breath. The pain was overwhelming and she felt dirty, violated and used.

"You may leave," Malfoy snickered and exited himself, leaving Hermione in pain and tears.

"Bastard." Hermione whimpered under her breath. She managed to get up and dress. Old wounds from previous rapes had opened. Hermione was so tired she didn't know if she had enough energy to heal herself. Hermione threw on her robes. Deciding she would clean up her wounds at home. She used all her energy to apparate back home.

Crookshanks could sense Hermione coming home and rushed to her room. There, he saw a tattered woman, bleeding badly and with bruises forming on her face and arms and neck. Hermione whimpered a little. Crookshanks instantly ran to Hermione's side and started to lick her face, comfortingly.

"Crookshanks. He did it again." Hermione cried.

Crookshanks understood. He and Hermione had a special connection and he seemed to understand everything Hermione did. Or, what other people did to her. He walked over to where a phone lay and tried to get Hermione to use it. Hermione gave a small smile.

"That won't work Crookshanks. We're too far off, this is too near the magical world for an ambulance to come." Hermione whispered to her cat.

Hermione gathered her wand and chanted a spell to help dress her wounds. Bowls of water and cloth magically appeared and wiped up her wounds. Bandages dressed her wounds. Hermione felt how she was helped to her feet and into a pale pink bathrobe. She walked to the bathroom taking uneven steps. Her face contorted at her reflection. She had bite marks on her neck, a black eye and blood dripped from her mouth. Hermione washed up, but that wouldn't hide her wounds. She was about to leave when her reflection changed drastically. She yelped as she saw who it was on her mirror.

"I'm letting you have a week off work, so that you can heal. I don't want anyone to know what happened. So, you'll be nice and fresh for next time." Malfoy's face laughed evilly and soon disappeared.

Hermione was shaking madly. 'I don't want to see him at my home again.' Hermione thought. Then with a powerful punch, she broke her mirror. Her knuckles started to bleed. Hermione started to laugh like crazy.

"He'll never be at my house again!" she said and started to kick pieces of the mirror.

She then stepped into the shower, without taking her bathrobe off and showered, still laughing like mad.

After showering, she heard crying from a room. She rushed over to Varee, and picked her up. Rocking her gently. And singing to her. Hermione placed her daughter back down in her cot. She peered at the sleeping child.

"Varee, he did it again. He's never going to be your father. I promise. But I know who would be a perfect daddy to you." Hermione whispered and smiled. She then stroked away some blonde strands.

"Thank god you don't look like him. You are my daughter, you have my eyes. And your hair colour will probably change when you're older. There's no way you'll look like that bastard." Hermione whispered. She heard purring from behind her. Crookshanks jumped from the ledge and rubbed himself against Hermiones's feet.

"You are my responsibility." She whispered.