HeadGirl91: I don't own any of these characters. I wish I did.
Harry: If you owned any of us, things would be very different.
HeadGirl91: Deffo. Sirius wouldn't die, for one. I LOVE SIRIUS!!
Harry: Okay. Calm down.
HeadGirl91: A/N: Spoilers for books 1-5, except Sirius isn't dead!
Harry: Whoo!
Dear Ron
I am so totally, utterly, completely BORED OUT OF MY SKULL!!
Please, please, please, can you ask your mum if I can come over to the Burrow for the rest of the summer?? I'd really appreciate it and I'd be your slave for ever and ever.
Harry
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Dear Harry
Sorry Harry. Mum decided she needed to check with Dumbledore first. I bet you can imagine how that went.
Ron
(p.s. Aw! I was looking forward to a slave!)
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Sirius
You know how you're my favouritist Dogfather in the whole wide world…
Harry
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Harry
What do you want?
Sirius
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Sirius
What makes you think I want anything?
I am mortally offended and hereby denounce your favouritist Dogfather status.
Harry
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Harry
Oh. I guess I'll just go to bed then
Sirius
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Sirius
NO!!
I'm sorry! I grovel at your feet and give you back your Dogfather status!
But seriously (hehe), I need a favour.
Harry
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Harry
I thought you might. What's up?
Sirius
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Sirius
The muggles are driving me mad. Want to organise a prison break?
Harry
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Harry
Ooh! I'm good at those! See you in an hour.
Sirius
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Harry
Sorry to hear your escape to Grimmauld Place didn't go very well. Too bad it was McGonagall on Guard Duty. Hope you come up with something else soon
Ron
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Luna
Heya! How are you?
Now the formalities are out of the way… I need your supreme expertise.
Is there some sort of magical creature that can help me escape my relatives? If there is, do you know where I can find one?
Harry
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Harry
The Crumple Horned Snorkak has been known to carry off unsuspecting villagers. They usually leave their families memories of the person being carried off by a young woman called Flo. I think you can find some in North America.
Is that helpful?
Luna
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Luna
Thanks. I appreciate the help, but I just can't get a Crumple Horned Snorkak shipped over here from America quick enough.
I'll plan in advance for next year, though!
Harry
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Harry
Glad to help.
Luna
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Ron
I have a plan.
It's dangerous, and it may not work, but it's my only hope.
If I don't come back alive, you can have the Marauder's Map.
Harry
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Hermione
If I don't come out of my latest plan to escape the Dursley's alive, you can have all my books.
Harry
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Luna
If I don't come back alive, you can have my Dad's invisibility cloak. Maybe it'll help you sneak up on all those magical creatures better.
Harry
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Neville
If I don't make it back, you can have Hedwig.
Just make sure she doesn't eat Trevor.
(See Ron or Luna for details why I might not come back alive)
Harry
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Ginny
If I die, you can have my Firebolt.
Treat her well!
Harry
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Sirius
If my plan doesn't work, you can have my socks because I already gave all my other stuff away.
Harry
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Dear Voldemort
You have no nose! You're ugly! Your Death Eaters are necrophiliacs!
Harry
(p.s. Btw, are you and Lucius Malfoy going out? Because if you are: Ew! He's totally old! (Not as old as you, though!). Draco's much better looking.)
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Potter
Portus!
The Dark Lord
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Harry
YOU DID WHAT?!
Hermione
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Harry
Well done on engaging the Wrackspurt.
Luna
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Harry
Good going. I would have done it a safer way, but yay!
Sirius
(p.s. Socks?? Do I mean so little to you?)
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Hermione
I had tea.
Harry
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Sirius
No! You're still my favouritist Dogfather!
Harry
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Harry
YOU PROVOKED LORD VOLDEMORT INTO SENDING YOU A PORTKEY SO YOU COULD HAVE TEA?!
Hermione
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Hermione
That wasn't my original intention! Honest! I thought that if Dumbledore could see that Privet Drive wasn't safe, he'd let me leave.
And it worked! I'm currently at the Burrow!
Ron hasn't stopped saying 'Bloody Hell' since I arrived. Sometimes it's 'Bloody Hell' and others it's 'Bloody Hell'
Remember I love you!!
Harry
(p.s. Are you going to kill me?)
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Harry
I am not going to kill you. That would entirely defeat the purpose of you going to Voldemort's lair and coming back alive.
Maiming is a definite possibility, though.
Hermione
(p.s. Why tea?)
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Hermione
Oh. Tom and I were talking about the good old days. We decided tea was a necessary requirement for such meetings. We even checked with Mrs Malfoy, to make sure. She assured us tea was appropriate.
Harry
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Harry
Tom and I? The good old days?
I have slipped unknowingly into an alternate universe where Harry Potter and Lord Voldemort have tea and check their etiquette with the wife of a Death Eater.
Hermione
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Hermione
You have?
Why wasn't I informed of this?
Harry
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