Disclaimer: Not ours.

AU!! Because Snape's still alive (there was much rejoicing)!

One-shot. That's final.

Snape glowered at the gargoyle entrance to the Headmaster's office. 'Headmistress,' he reminded himself firmly in his head while trying to shake off old memories of returning to this very place after countless childhood torments or more recently, Deatheater meetings.

He couldn't possibly understand what possessed Minerva to summon him to these chambers. With one final glare, Snape bit off the password and slowly ascended the spiral staircase to the Headmistress' office. He didn't even bother knocking, so used to Dumbledore's constant knowledge of his presence. He immediately regretted this action after encountering one very stressed out Headmistress.

"Severus!" McGonagall cried out. "You scared me half to death!"

This merely provoked a slight narrowing of the eyes from the Potions Master who really didn't understand what the fuss was about.

"Well, don't just stand there, come and sit down."

Snape crossed the room and sat hesitantly in the chair in front of the Head--mistress' desk. He took note of the High Chair, how it seemed too imposing for her, and how she subtly glared at the silver trinkets adorning the desk. After a minute or so of imposing silence, Snape decided to cut in:

"I'm assuming you summoned me here for a reason, Headmistress?"

McGonagall seemed to flinch at the name but --'Ever the Gryffindor,' Snape thought snidely -- managed to pull a stern look.

"Yes, Severus. I did. As you are aware, due to certain...events, I have been appointed the position of Headmistress. This position, along with a number of duties, came with a few open positions."

Severus continued to stare with curious eyes at Minerva, willing her to go on.

"I have decided to make Remus Head of Gryffindor as the position can obviously no longer be sustained by me. That leaves the matter of Deputy Headmaster..."

"Give it to Hagrid," said Severus. He fought the urge to rub his temples; he knew where this was going.

McGonagall simply glared at the Potions Master. "You and I both know you are the only one qualified for the job, Severus. As for Hagrid..." Here, the transfigurations professor visibly shuddered.

Snape, however, only continued to glare at Minerva.

"Professor really, get a hold of yourself," scolded the Headmistress. "I'm hardly asking much of you. I am only asking that you take up the torch that has been left to us…"

"The only things that have been left for us, Headmistress, are a broken school and a headache." Snape growled out as he flung himself from the chair and toward the door. "He gave us nothing else."

"That's not true Severus," Minerva stated, calmly gazing back at the still grieving Professor, "He left us something else."

"Oh? And what would that be, Minerva?" he sneered.

"Do you have any idea what to do with 5,902 lemon drops?"