Disclaimer: I do not own G

Disclaimer: I do not own G. I. JOE or the X-men Misfit universe. The Zarthgons are Red Witch's creation from her contribution to the Galaxy Ranger series. This is just Cobra, so in the G.I.Joe section instead of X-men.

It was another high level staff meeting at Cobra.

Cobra Commander sighed. "Ok, who remembers our last meeting. Anyone? The last thing I remember was visiting a bar after that fiasco with the Dreadnoks burning most of the base."

"I don't think we want to remember." Destro groaned. "Especially after Road Pig decided to dance naked around the fire, but couldn't figure out which personality was joining in."

"Yes Yes." Cobra Commander nodded. "I remember that much. And I wish I didn't… Though it was enjoyable when The Baroness started shooting at him. Speaking of…"

"She needed some space." Destro said, then muttered "Thank goodness."

"On another note. Are The twins still in therapy after seeing certain scars Road Pig has?"

"Somewhat. Our new psychiatrist, Brain Trust, had the bright idea to take them out to the firing range. Then she fondled Cadet Demming while the Twins were blowing up their mothers."

"Mothers?" Destro blinked.

"They have issues…. And so does Brain Trust. Cadet Demming put her in traction, on the firing range. She and the twins then got drunk and scarred her for life by having sex in front of her."

"I thought you said they were still in therapy?" Cobra Commander blinked.

"They are." Zartan started to say.

BOOM

"HAHAHAHA! El KABONG LIVES"

Everyone blinked then Destro went to the window and looked out.

"I'm afraid to ask.." Cobra Commander moaned.

"Brain Trust got free, and apparently knocked out Cadet Demming." Destro mused. Then he did an about face. "Now she's attacking the twins…"

"They didn't get dressed did they?"

"No, they didn't."

Zartan blinked. "Wasn't she one of the teachers from Bayville High?"

BLING

"Now what?"

"Commander, this is the kitchen… we have a situation."

"What is it?"

"Well…"

"INSIGNIFICANT HUMANS! THE ZARTHGONS WILL HAVE YOUR SILVERWARE SO WE CAN TAKE OVER YOUR WORLD!"

Laser blasts and screams were heard.

"HELP HELP! MINIATURE SPACESHIPS ON THE LOOSE!"

Cobra Commander blinked. "Miniature…"

"GIVE US YOUR LADLES AND NOBODY GETS HURT!"

"Not the Souffle. What did it ever do to deserve that?"

Destro sighed. "I guess someone should go save the staff."

"Don't they have weapons?" Zartan asked.

"Who would give our chefs guns? We can barely trust them with knives. And you've seen the reports on Roadblock's adventures in cooking."

"Good point."

"AHHHH IT BURNS IT BURNS"

"COME LOYAL KABONGETEERS" A woman's voice was heard.

"You heard the lady!" RoadPig bellowed. "Yes, she promised me a decoder ring."

"For the dinner!" Monkeywrench yelled.

"Sir, we've lost one of our cruisers to some wooden thing with strings!" A crew member said to the Admiral.

"HAHAHA!" Brain Trust cackled as she whacked another ship with her guitar.

"Zarthgons retreat! Some strange gas is overcoming our life-support! We're going back to attacking that universe with the weird giant bird. He's saner!"

"AHHHH" A couple of chefs ran out of the kitchen.

"My dear Torch… we were going to eat that." Road Pig began. "Ye ah, so don't fart again"

Cobra Commander blinked. "I don't know which is worse… the fact that Cobra just saved the world. Or that the Dreadnoks were the heroes."

"Let's keep this out of our files, Commander." Destro sighed. "The last thing we need is G.I.Joe finding out. We'd never hear the end of it."

"Good point. Who wants to order a pizza? It might be awhile before the Kitchen is fumigated…."