The group of young men moved much like a pride of lions on the prowl.

To Aisu Taijian that was a source of great amusement, since at the start of her lecture, that very same gaggle of boys had been cowering like sheep about to be sheared and stepping uneasy like horses in line to be gelded. Finished with her daily assignment, she watched Uzumaki Naruto and friends as the disappeared around the bend.

"It truly is fascinating," the wizened public official said to herself. "Individually, boys can be very bright; but as a group they can be stupid. Stupid stupid stupid." She had no doubt that she would see different behavior the following morning, when the girls from the same Teams were scheduled for their instruction. "But… strangely enough… they can be very cowardly on their own, yet find great strength and confidence in a group." She smiled "At least, when they are dealing with subjects they feel comfortable with…."

Coincidently, those very same boys were discussing the bizarre behavior of their erstwhile teacher, while making light of their harrowing experience.

"It's too bad she was so old and ugly," Kiba said, once again sounding bold enough and brash enough for the whole bunch of them. "Otherwise she was just about perfect."

"Huh?" Choji looked shocked. "What do you mean?" He would have nightmare for a month or two, thanks to that scary granddame.

"Shino," Naruto said, oblivious to the conversation.

"Well… she was about three foot tall… and if she had a short stay in the dentist chair, she'd be toothless…" Kiba expected to hear knowing chuckles. Instead, he heard silence. He sighed, seeing the blank stares. "You know… short… toothless… as in she is the perfect height to do you know what and wouldn't be any danger of biting you somewhere you wouldn't want to get bitten…."

"Perfect height?" Sai narrowed his eyes. It was time to collect more data. "How so?"

"I wouldn't want to get bitten anywhere." Lee asserted.

"Shino," Naruto said again. His gaze unfocused, he nearly walked straight into a telephone pole. Moments later, he did bang his crotch into a brightly painted fire hydrant, causing him to see stars. He might not have noticed it, even if the sun wasn't heading towards the horizon.

"Geez! What a bunch of mamby pambies!" Kiba looked like the one ready to bite. "Right height. No teeth. 'The only thing better would be if she turned into a roast beef sandwich when she was done.' You must have heard that one!"

"Sandwich?" Naturally, Choji's eyes lit up. He licked his lips, immediately forgetting what they had been talking about.

"Would that be some kind of Henge?" Sai looked perplexed. "If that is actually possible, it would still seem to go against social mores. I am quite certain that cannibalism is frowned upon in civilized society." He couldn't understand why Shimaru slapped himself in the forehead and Neji hung his head. Were they hiding gustatory habits he should be wary of?

"Shino," Naruto grunted, walking bowlegged.

"Never mind, you losers!" Kiba seemed truly angry. The reason for his rage became clear with his next command. "And stop saying 'Shino'!" That last was directed to Naruto. At the moment, 'Shino' was a dirty word. How dare his friend and teammate become a Man before he did!

"Shino…." Naruto wasn't being a wise ass. Still stunned at the startling truth they had learned, he spoke before Kiba's words registered. "Sorry… it's just that. You know…SHINO…."

"I know… I know…." Kiba waved his hand apologetically. "I'm just as surprised as you are. He's the last person that I would have expected…." He managed to smile. "…Except Lee…."

"Ah," Lee couldn't manage his usual exuberant reply. "I'm sorry…." Despite finding he was no different than many boys his age, the green-clad ninja still had issues with low self esteem.

"It's nothing you need to apologize for," Neji said, consoling his friend. "You should feel proud of yourself, after hearing what you did in today's lectures."

"You should not have mentioned the lectures again." Shikamaru shook his head. During the brief time they had been set free for lunch, the boys had spent the entire time moaning and complaining before heading back into the administrative building. "This day has been troublesome enough as it is." He was in such poor spirits that he didn't even have the slightest urge to play shogi with his father.

"I found the subjects to be quite fascinating and rather informative," Sai said, smiling. No one there could tell if it was a real or fake smile. "I learned about sexual anatomy in Root, since a number or torture techniques could exploit certain nerve endings, and sexual favors can prove a strong inducement to learning secrets from enemy operatives."

"So that's why he dresses like a girl," Naruto quipped, still feeling a need to pay his teammate back for the past 'Small Penis' comments. He held out a hand which Kiba duly slapped.

"I feel very uncomfortable when you speak to me like that," Sai stated. "It makes me wonder what you intentions are. I am very glad that the teacher spoke about the Art of Refusal."

"What?" Naruto's eyes went wide. He clenched both fists. Just what was Sai implying. "WHAT?!"

"I believe the correct term is 'Burn,' is it not?" Sai held out his hand. He winced when Kiba, Choji, and Lee slapped it.

"…." Naruto had been about to say 'Jerk,' but he held his tongue. Instead, he gave his friend a salute. It was good to see Sai make efforts to fit in. Just the same, all of the good will that the strange young man had gathered slipped quickly between his fingers when he began expostulating again.

"The other topics we heard were also very practical," Sai said amiably holding up the fingers on his right hand, one at a time. He and the other boys moved from the manicured lawn surround the Administration Area onto a freshly repaired sidewalk. "Sexual reproduction… sexual intercourse… reproductive health…emotional relations…reproductive rights and responsibilities…." He switched to the next hand. "Contraception… family planning…. sexual orientation… sexual pleasure… values…." Two elderly women who overhead Sai's rambling dropped their grocery bags. Eggs splattered here and there. Apples and pears bounced out into the street.

"Sai…." Kiba voice came out in a growl. A wise man would have heard it as a warning of sorts.

"I'll be heading off on my own, now." Shikamaru waved his farewell and headed off down the nearest alleyway. He was well aware that the particular street was a Dead End. He would turn around and head home soon enough.

"Shikamaru…." Choji looked torn. He thought about walking with his friend; but, he and his other buddies were headed to a restaurant to get some dinner. As one might expect, his stomach made the decision for him.

"…Decision making… communication… dating… relationships… sexually transmitted infections and how to avoid them…." Sai switched hands yet again. "Birth control methods…premarital sex… masturbation…." He didn't notice how a number of young mothers covered their boys' ears, knocking the ice cream off of their cones in the process. He also missed seeing the young fathers smirk, until the young mothers caught sight of those smiles. "…Teenage pregnancy… virginity pledges…."

"S-a-i…." Kiba had forgotten all about Shino for the moment.

"The topic of abortion certainly gave us all a lot to debate and think about…." Sai spoke louder than before, to overcome the sound of a clomping horse and the cart with the squeaky axel that it pulled. He blithely stepped over one of the monks that fell out of that very same wagon. "It was good to discuss whether the state or the family should teach sexual mores, and whether or not sex education curricula break down pre-existing notions of modesty and encourage acceptance of practices that those advocating that some individuals deem immoral, such as homosexuality and premarital sex."

"He just won't stop," Neji remarked, surprised that he had actually verbalized his thoughts. Unconsciously, he had allowed the distance between him and Sai to grow after the boy had drawn increasing attention to them.

"I know," Naruto agreed, having way too much first hand knowledge of Sai's verbal tendencies. If Sakura had been there, Sai would be cresting the top of the nearest building by now. "He's worse than Lee, when he makes one of those running or push-up promises." He looked over at Neji's teammate. "No offense, Lee."

"One historical viewpoint, inspired by famous sexologists and psychologists, was also rather intriguing." Sai sniffed the air momentarily, wondering if some of his friends had forgotten to shower that morning. He still had a bit of a cold, so he couldn't tell himself. Why else might the people walking along the main thoroughfare be moving further and further away from them? "You know the topic I am talking about, the thought that sex education gives the listener control over his body and liberates him from social control. As Kiba would say, we can 'Shag like Minks whenever we like'." A woman watering her flower box nearly fell from her window. She purposefully dropped the heavy watering can on the head of the man who took the opportunity to get a good view of her cleavage.

"S--A--I--!!" Kiba's roar had all of the people on the block stopping, going silent, and turning to stare at him and his comrades. He stopped himself in the middle of the hand seal for the Piercing Fang technique.

"Was that a poor choice?" Sai cocked his head. "Should I have said 'Hump like Camels' or 'Fck like Bunnies'?"

"I think I will be leaving, too" Neji said. He too had his limits. "I am not all that hungry." Feeling somewhat churlish just the same, he took some money out of his belt pouch. "This will help cover the cost for Choji." He then said his farewells and left, walking faster than he usually did.

"It's alright, everybody!" Naruto had noticed that a number of people in the street had begun milling around with stiff faces and angry postures. "We're taking our friend to the Pharmacy. He's getting his medicines renewed!" Naruto didn't feel one bit guilty about lying at that moment. Most of the went back about their business.

"I am not currently taking medicines," Sai said, a quizzical look on his face.

"You came real close," Kiba claimed. "If you had kept blabbering like that, you would have needed to stock up on pain relievers."

"I doubt that our fellow villagers would have harmed him because of that," Lee put in. His ears were still bright red, after hearing all of the things that he had heard.

"I was talking about me," Kiba said, lacing his fingers together and cracking his knuckles." "Forget about that. We have more important things to discuss."

"O! Right! Choji suddenly looked rather spritely. "Like, what restaurant do we want to eat at!"

"No," Naruto countered. "More important than that!"

"Who's paying?" Lee raised a bushy brow. "I thought we were all going to split the cost."

"More important than that, too." Naruto reached down and shook his Frog Purse. That was an important question just the same, seeing that Choji was with them.

"Not 'who is paying'…." Kiba clarified, his eyes suddenly very intense. "Who is play-ing…."

"Ah." A light of understanding lit in Choji's eyes. Suddenly, he looked hungry for information instead of food.

"Playing?" Lee still looked lost. No surprise there. "Is the Fire Country Marching Band scheduled for tonight? The Konoha Community Choir?"

"…." Naruto slapped his forehead. He grimaced. He had struck so hard, that he ended up raising a bump. "We want to know who Shino was playing with… get it?"

"If you ask which musical ensemble Shino joined, I'll kick your ass into next week!" Kiba spoke before Lee had any chance to speak again. "Think about it. Only virgins went to lecture." He felt mad enough to spit nails, thinking about the embarrassment he had felt earlier. "Shino didn't have to go."

"Even I know what they are talking about," Sai told Choji.

"Me, too. It obviously means that Shino had sex with somebody." Choji said. He smiled in impish fashion. "Clones don't count. Otherwise, Naruto would have left the building with him."

"Hey!" Naruto bit his tongue. There was a better retort. Hand forming seals at lightning speed, he performed Hāremu no Jutsu, the ultimate form of the Sexy Technique. A number of bodacious lady clones stood naked in the street, taking on all sorts of suggestive poses. One blew a kiss to the rotund boy.

Choji spun like a top, looking as if he were trying to perform his own version of the Heavenly Spin. Blood fountained from his widened nostrils, painting a red circle on the middle of the cobblestone-lined avenue.

"Good going, Einstein!" Kiba steered the group down a handy side passage. He didn't want to see if the villagers got up in arms again. "Any way. Lee. What we were saying before the burlesque show…." Kiba noticed something. He turned sideways to hide the fact that he had an erection. "…Was that Shino got laid without anyone having the slightest clue. We need to find out who he got lucky with."

"Ooooo-oooo-ooo-oo-oh!" Lee struck a pose. "I understand!"

"Good," Naruto said, frowning when he felt the lump just above his brow. "Finally!"

"We should find the identity of the girl." Lee pointed in no particular direction. "We should make certain that the act was consensual. We should also teach her the necessary facts about sexual education, in case she is too young for the lectures. I remember Ms. Taijian telling us that in cases of teen pregnancy, the girl is often younger than the boy."

"…" Kiba hung his head. "Why do I even bother…."

"Hmmmm-mmm-mm-m…." Sai rubbed his chin, looking at Rock Lee. "I believe that I may have figured out why I sometimes anger my teammates." Sure enough, seeing the effect that others have on people often teaches a person about his own behavior.

"I wish Shika was here," Choji said. "He could help us figure out who it was." He had absolute faith in his friend's freakish mentality.

"We don't need him," Naruto replied. "I mean, how many girls could he know that are near his age?"

"Why stop there?" Kiba smiled when he saw Shizune walk past, headed towards the medical center. There was something about older women dressed as nurses. "Why couldn't it be an older babe?" He shivered momentarily when a coffin maker rolled his wagon past. They time-horored profession was still crafting pine boxes to this day. The thought of death caused another face to pop into his mind. "Someone like… Mitarashi Anko…."

"Gah!" Naruto bit his tongue hard enough to draw blood. Memories from the chuunin exam were etched into his mind.

"You shouldn't joke like that!" Choji checked the back of his pants with his hands. "I almost needed to go home for a shower and a change of clothes!"

"I'd do her," Sai said. His friends went dead silent. A dog stopped barking and ran off whimpering. Even the crickets shut up. One man in a house on the street closed and latched his window. "I was joking, too," Sai said.

"That wasn't funny!" Naruto had not tried to use Nature chakra. He had not started to turn into a frog. Just the same, his voice came out as little more than a raspy croak.

"No! It wasn't!" Kiba regretted his own attempt at humor. "Don't ever say something that. What if word got back to her…."

"What if she liked it?" Choji's eyes were bulging. "What if she decided she wanted you?" His mouth fell open. He looked distraught. "I think… I think I may have…." He swallowed hard. "I think I may have just lost my appetite…."

Everyone looked around, almost as if to see they were about to fall prey to some unfathomable apocalypse. No one could believe what they had just heard.

"Hmmm-mmm-mm-m…." Sai looked at his rather round companion. "I see… the saying may be true… perhaps the way to a man's heart is through his stomach…." It was hard to tell whether or not the taciturn boy was being serious.

After Choji regained his composure, they made their way along the main thoroughfare. When Kiba handed his friend a crumpled up Granola bar he had discovered in a pocket filled with dog bones, the larger boy regained his usual carefree demeanor.

"There's something that Gai-sensei told me once," Lee remarked, when the guys began trying to figure out the identity of Shino's deflowerer. "I had remarked on the way that TenTen was behaving towards Neji."

"He said that she wanted to get into his pants," Kiba said, with a serious sounding voice. He couldn't hold back a smile. "And you told him they would probably be too big for her…."

"Why would-" Lee looked puzzled again. He resumed his story when Kiba stopped cursing. "Gai-sensei told me that it was not a good idea for teammates to get involved with one another, for a number of reasons. But, he said that one could not stop the magnetic power of attraction! Ahhhh-hhh-hh-h!" He couldn't help himself. Sayings like that left him overly pumped.

"I believe that I understand," Sai said. "Kakashi told that to our Team as well. Sakura turned red in the face."

"Really?" One of Kiba's eyebrows shot upward. He rubbed his chin in a speculative manner.

"Shhhh-hhh-hh-h!" Naruto made shushing motions with his fingers. "Sai!" he coughed. "It's… well… more her than me…." That much was true. Once upon a time, when Sakura only had eyes for Sasuke, Naruto only had eyes for her. But, he had grown out of that. Nowadays, he was very much confused about how he felt about the pinked-haired girl.

"I was not finished," Sai remarked. "I also saw a movie. In that film, a wise man said that people often covet the things that are closest to them. Therefore, the person we should turn our attention to first-"

"Hinata!" Choji understood where Sai was headed with his commentary.

"Hinata?" Even clueless Lee looked shocked by that suggestion.

"You… have… got… to… be… fcking kidding me…." Kiba looked incredulous at first. Then, his posture and facial expressions suggested anger rather than disbelief. He felt an innate urge to stick up for his teammate. Also, everyone there knew the white-eyed girl's true feelings. Everyone but a certain hyperactive ninja.

"Why?" Sai cocked his head. "Is it because she has always had a strong yearning towards nrrbtrbltuuu…." Choji, Kiba, and Lee had all moved to clamp hands over his mouth. In the past, the number one big time official decree in the village was that no one could talk about Minato Namikaze sealing the Kyuubi in his son. The top unofficial law remained intact: do not tell Naruto about Hinata's crush.

"Huh?" Naruto was about to ask why his friends had tried to silence Sai.

"You have to admit it makes a little sense," Choji said to Kiba, returning the conversation to somewhat safer ground. "You guys do spend a lot of time together, right. The two of them are very shy around other people. She looks doe-eyed every time she gets to hold Kurenai-sensei's baby…."

"And…." Lee held his hand up, as if he were back at the Academy. That had Kiba sighing. "When you were home nursing Akamaru back to health that time, the two of them went on a reconnaissance mission together." His eyes went wider than usual. "Alone…."

"That…." Kiba hunched his shoulders. "I still can't see anything happening between those two." He was about to offer cogent rebuttal, but saw something that would save him the trouble. It was Kurenai. Kurenai and Hinata. "OK. We can put that to rest pretty easily. Follow me." He headed over to the other members of his team. Kurenai must be on her way to day care. The baby-carrier on her back was empty. "Oi! Kurenai-sensei! Hinata!"

"Well, what are you boys up to?" Kurenai smiled. Her face looked radiant. Motherhood suited her well.

"N-N-Naruto-kun…." Hinata looked unsteady on her feet. She stepped partly behind her teacher.

"Huh? Hinata?" Naruto stuck out his lower lip. "Why does she do that?"

"It's because shrbcrblnartbluuu…." This time it was Lee who was forcibly muffled.

"Hey! Hinata!" Kiba couldn't think of a suave lead in, so he decided to take the brash approach. "I bet I know why you're so wobbly!" That had the girl in question shaking like a Bobble-head doll, thinking her teammate was going to spill the beans. "It was today's sex-ed talks, right?" When she confirmed that she had gone, she would automatically be exonerated.

"I-" Hinata turned redder than a cherry Popsicle. "I-" She rubbed her fingers together hard enough to raise blisters. "I didn't go today…."

"Bingo!" Sai was the one exclaiming that.

"Ho-leee-ee-e crap!" Choji looked like he had to do just that.

"No way!" Naruto's lower jaw looked like it was trying hard to each his feet.

"B-B-B-B-B-But-" Kiba couldn't even string two words together.

"Our-" Hinata looked down at her feet. "Our… our lectures… our lectures are tomorrow." She couldn't look in Naruto's direction. "Is… is that the topic…" She coughed. "Is that the topic I will have to listen to?" She had just let herself off the hook, unknowingly. She looked over at Kurenai.

"I'm not certain," Kurenai admitted. "But, if that was the lecture for half of the people today, it will no doubt be the lecture for everyone else tomorrow." She frowned a moment. "Why did you boys react the way you just did?"

"O! It's nothing," Kiba rushed to add." His teacher had no trouble getting him, Hinata, or Shino to spill their guts when she applied the pressure. "You two have a nice night! We have to go find Shino! It's almost time for dinner…." With that, he jogged off, the other boys in close pursuit. "That was too damn close."

"You can say that again," Naruto said, breathing rapidly. He suddenly stopped and stood straighter. "Hey! That's actually a good idea!"

"What's a good idea?" Lee asked, feeling the urge to continue running around the village.

"We should try to find Shino!" Naruto rubbed his hands together. "What do you bet he's gone looking for his girlfriend? The sun's about to set."

"That's brilliant!" Choji nodded his head. "Ino is always trying to get Shika to go with her to the top of the Hokage cliffs at sundown. She keeps dropping hints about how romantic it is."

"Let's do it!" Kiba agreed. "That's probably easier than trying to guess the damn riddle, right?" He and the other ninjas would have to be stealthy. And, they would have to consider who their prey was. "I almost wish I could use bugs the way that Shino does. If I could, and I had put a female bug on him, we'd know where he actually was." He stopped and changed direction. Know their prey indeed! "First… we need to stop by the apothecary… we need some delousing spray…."

"Euuu-uu-uw-" Naruto made a face and moved away from Kiba. "Too much information." He looked worried. He hoped that he wouldn't begin scratching.

"Don't you mean flea powder?" Sai sounded serious

"Uhhhh-hhh-hh-h!" Lee wrinkled up his nose. "Gai-sensei says that cleanliness is next to godliness."

"Idiots!" Kiba shook a fist at Naruto, and then Sai. "The stuff kills chakra bugs, too. If Shino got all sneaky again and put bugs on any of us, he'd know we were coming!"

Once the shinobi had followed Kiba's suggestion, they carefully made their way to the hill top. After a short search, aided by the appearance of Akamaru, they happened upon Shino. Cautiously parting a number of shaggy wild shrubs, they tried to make out who the girl with him was.

"Blonde hair," Naruto whispered. "It could be Ino."

"No way!" Choji just barely managed to keep his voice down. "It looks pinkish." That was true. But, the color was the result of the sunset reflected on light-hued hair. "And it looks like she has a big butt. It could be Sakura." Kiba had to step between Choji and Naruto.

"Look closer," Sai said, using a number of ink beats to hold the branches even further apart. "The hair is piled high. It reminds me of Ten Ten's style."

"Ohhhh-hhh-hh-h…." Miraculously, Lee managed to say that in a stage whisper. "It would not be her!" Staring a moment longer he noticed something important. "That is not one of two hair buns. It's a single mound. That is what they call a-" He couldn't find the word he wanted.

"A bee hive 'do," Kiba said for Lee. "No way… it couldn't be… not her… anybody but her…." He looked incredulous. He sighed when Akamaru sniffed and made a low whining noise. "Well… you're never wrong, Akamaru…."

"Don't keep us hanging," Naruto insisted. "Who is it? Is it someone we all know?"

"I don't know," Kiba answered. "But you should remember some shinobi from her clan, since you were on the mission with Shino, me, and Hinata. Back when we were trying to find the Bikochu bug."

"What? Those guys?" Naruto sounded surprised. "I thought there were only three member of that clan left at the time. Suzu… suzu… um…."

"Suzmebachi," Kiba said. "Jibachi and Kurobachi, too. They were trying to find the Tsuchikage's secret scroll, the one full of kinjutsu."

"Are you speaking of the Kamizuru clan?" Sai had read up on many foreign clans during his time with Root. "The clan of bee users from Iwagakure? The one who many years past attempted to lead an invasion force into Konohagakure, only to be repelled and largely killed by the more experienced Aburame clan?"

"Shino's clan?" Choji asked. "And Shino was on the mission with you guys?" He looked over at Shino. He and the girl were sitting very close to one another. The girl's head was on his friend's shoulder. The boy's arm was around her waist. "And some of the three surviving clan members were killed?"

"Maybe," Kiba said, thinking back to the mission. "I don't know for sure. Hinata stopped all three with her Protection of the Eight Trigrams Sixty-Four Palms technique. Then, when Suzumebachi attempted one last-ditch attack with a giant summoned bee, she was hit by Fox Boy's Rasengan." He made a thumbing gesture in Naruto's direction. "Their current status is unknown."

"I believe I have seen that girl before," Lee mentioned. "Her name is Shirigaru Kamizuru. She was a member of the party from the Village Hidden in the Rocks. That group accompanied the Tsuchikage to Konoha after the defeat of Akatsuki. If word is true, she's his granddaughter."

"Hah!" Choji laughed. Snot shot out of his nose. "Shino is poking the Tsuchikage's granddaughter?!" His humor died quicker than it had erupted. "O wow… he had better watch his step… or he's dead meat…."

"Wait a minute?" Naruto had noticed something. "Where's Sai?" His teammate was no longer with them.

"There he is!" Kiba pointed. "What the hell is he doing? That moron! He's not going to say 'Hello' to them is he?"

His fears were unfounded. Sai had indeed moved closer to better hear the two lovebirds' cooing. He had his pad out and was taking notes. In a few moments, the other shinobi had made their way to his side. Unabashedly, they listened, too. Each hoped to hear something they could hang over Shino's heads for months to come.

They didn't have to wait too long. But, the words they heard left them shaken; the only thing in their lives that had left them more discombobulated was the discovery that Shino had been the first to lose his virginity:

"Mmmm-mmm-mm-m… my little snugglebunny…." Shino tickled the girl under her chin.

"Aaaa-aaa-aa-a… my sweety wuv-kins…." Shirigaru practically purred.

None of the boys could speak. They all felt as if they had been pinned to the ground like a butterfly to an oversized cork board. Those words burned an unforgiving ravine in the fertile soil of their minds.

Tongue hanging from his huge mouth, Akamaru laughed a silent doggy laugh.

END