Give Me The Platform Tonight

Chapter Four: I"ll Write Sins and Tragedies

Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl.

AN: Sorry this took so long. I had a bit of trouble with it and I'm not sure if I like how it turned out. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it and as always, leave a review!

Blair wiped her tears angrily, fumbling in her purse for her phone and browsed through her contact list feverishly. She paused over Serena's name, skipping it after a pause. Not after their last conversation. Blair deliberated over Georgina before finally pressing the call button.

"Hey, Georgie." She said quietly into the as soon as the other girl had picked up.

"Blair!" Georgina cried, sleep obvious in her voice.

"I left early last night and I couldn't find you before you took off. You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah." Blair replied tiredly, rubbing her face with one hand.

"You sure? Your voice seems kind of weird."

Georgina commented, concern creeping uncharacteristically into her voice.

"Bad morning, that's all." Blair answered, taking a long breath out.

"Nasty hangover?' Georgina asked sympathetically.

"Kind of." If the situation with chuck could be called a hangover.

Blair thought.

"You know what, forget it. I really wouldn't mind a couple of drinks right now."

She proposed, finding the idea of forgetting to be extremely appealing at the moment. She really didn't need Chuck if only he didn't make it so hard for her with his brain-sucking, breathtaking kisses.

"Drinks? Always sounds good to me." Georgina responded, eyes glinting.

"Meet you in thirty then."

--

Blair was obviously drunk. And not her usual 'let's go crazy' drunk. Instead, she was being boring, emo and whiny.

And it was only two in the afternoon.

As much as Georgina loaded on the black eyeliner, she wasn't a huge fan of angst.

There were at a small bar which Blair had suggested, wanting something quieter. Georgina had not expected a therapy session.

All that was missing was that the familiar couch.

Blair was rambling about how life was a bitch, they all were bitches and romanticism was long gone and had became a bitch. Georgina felt like she was spending time with Dan Humphrey again.

"All I want is little teensy bit of liberation, is that so much to ask for? So much that he has to attack me and make my head go blah?"

Blair ranted, only pausing to take a breath and Georgina saw her chance to cut in at last.

"B, if you were looking for Oprah, go bribe her. But this is me, Georgina Sparks. I specialize in alcohol therapy and in the opposite of the recovery kind. You don't need them. Let's go find a party."

Georgina got up, looking at Blair expectantly who deliberated for a minute before following.

"I don't need them." Blair mumbled to herself, taking a last swig of her drink.

"Definitely not."

--

Her phone was ringing over and over again and the persistent sound was becoming a real buzzkill. So Blair decided to answer it.

"Hello?" She shouted into it, over the loud sounds of inebriated people.

"Blair? It's Penelope." She sounded slightly nervous.

"I'm calling because Kati, Iz, Hazel and I are all really bored. We don't know what to do."

"Why don't you ask Serena?" Blair demanded, bitterness entering her words.

Penelope tried to explain even though she herself was extremely confused by Queen S' sudden change.

Blair was confused too. Plus her irritation was growing by the second. what kind of game was Serena playing? it was a bad idea, toying with Blair Waldorf.

"Okay, I really don't have time for this right now."

Blair said, itching to get back to the alcohol that was waiting for her.

"Why don't you girls figure something out?"

Penelope blinked, perplexed. For as long as she had known Blair Waldorf, the Queen had always catered to satisfy and keep her minions happy so that they would do her bidding. What had changed? Penelope wondered.

"But you told us before-"

"Figure something out." Blair cut her off sharply, hanging up.

Walking back to the bar, she found a drink waiting for her and took a sip.

Amazing.

--

Serena was ready to tear Blair a new one. Did she not get it? Georgina was psycho, better avoided and ignored b Blair and the races of humanity.

Instead she had received a message from Gossip Girl which said that Blair and Georgina had partied all day and all night before B finally arrived home this morning, hungover and annoyed probably. But Serena didn't care, even if Blair was likely to be more biting in her bad mood because Blair was just digging her own grave deeper and deeper until she would be buried twenty feet under instead of six.

Serena stomped her foot impatiently when the elevator door finally dinged open on Blair's floor, opening to reveal that lavishness of the Waldorf Residence. It was silent. Dorota on her day off and Eleanor, as usual, absent.

"Blair?" She called out loudly. Footsteps sounded upstairs and Blair descended, stopping halfway down the staircase.

"It's you." Blair said, deadpan.

"Yes, it is." Serena nodded slightly, feeling slightly awkward.

"Why are you here?" The brunette demanded, her voice icy, the formality and friendship obviously over.

"What is this, Blair?" Serena asked intensely back, shoving her phone and GG's message in the brunette's face.

"It's my life." Blair said defiantly while Serena stared long and hard.

"Haven't you heard from Kati, Iz and them?"

Serena demanded, changing the direction of the conversation. Blair stared back at the blonde girl's face, feeling annoyed because it was like the sun, it was blinding her.

What was Serena's plan?

It wasn't like Serena was some scheming mastermind but she did spend a lot of time with Blair and might have picked up bits and pieces. Plus Blair was way too preoccupied with her new lifestyle to really focus on foiling evil plans or something. She wasn't Wonder Woman no matter how much she tried.

"Yes." Blair said tersely, her one word answer betraying not much emotion.

"Yes? What did they say?" Serena insisted urgently. What if they had messed everything up?

"They told me you didn't want anything to do with them."

Blair's answer was short and to the point. "What's up with that?"

Serena ignored her. "That's all they said, that's it?"

"No. They asked me to hang out. I told them to go figure something else out."

"You turned them down?! Blair!" Serena exclaimed, exasperated. Nothing was working.

"What?" Blair snapped.

"I'm not bending over backwards to make them happy anymore. Is there something wrong with that? So go ahead, I won't mind anymore if you want to be their puppet master. Go be their Rapunzel, let your hair down. They're lost without you, S. In fact, the whole world is. It's like Heroes, save the goddamn cheerleader, save the world."

Blair said sarcastically, her voice laced with ice that she didn't bother to hide.

"I gave up on them is for YOU!" Serena waved her hands in Blair's direction.

"I thought that maybe if you got back your control, all this craziness be over! You would calm down, be who you were before and see reason, Blair. Maybe I was wrong."

"Maybe you were." Blair fired back.

"What if I don't want to be who I was before? You obviously didn't like it and I don't either. And don't try to tell me that all this self sacrifice is for me. Because with you, Serena van der Woodsen, it never is! There's always something in it for you."

"Don't make it sound like everything I'm doing is wrong! I'm just trying to help you and for your information, I was trying to make things right and better for other people."

"So this had nothing to do with you trying to win Dan back? I heard about your whole conversation with him. You apologized, took responsibility for your stupid actions and now you and him are friends? Guys and Aphrodite are never just friends, not for long anyways. Just accept it, it was for your own gain."

"I don't get why you always have to make me sound so bad, Blair. So maybe Dan and I are friends and we could be something else later, but I'm still just trying to help you!"

"And I don't need it! You might be trying to be a charity case with Brooklyn, trying to be a good girl by helping save Blair Waldorf or whatever, just stop pretending. You know what you are? You're selfish, you're in denial, you're fake, not so bright as you think, hurtful and some day everyone will see through you. You're Serena van der Woodsen. Get over yourself. I have."

Serena stared, no one had ever been that harsh to her and her skin wasn't that thick. Besides, Blair never had been that brutal to her before no matter how angry she had been.

"I'm not pretending anything Blair. If you don't want my help, I won't give it. I'll let you keep falling and when you've hit the bottom, there's going to be no one there to catch you. I won't say I told you so."

"You won't have to."

"That's exactly who you are, Blair. Insecure, stubborn, and I could go on forever. But I'm better than that. All I'll tell you is that you're trying to be me. And it won't work."

"Oh, I forgot to add self centered to my list." Blair snarled, tossing her hair.

"Maybe you did. It's definitely on the list of Blair Waldorf characteristics."

Serena turned on her heel, marching towards the elevator.

"Don't come back. You outstayed your welcome a long time ago. Thanks for the memories."

Serena paused, looking over her shoulder. "Eleanor Waldorf must be so proud of you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Blair demanded. Serena shrugged and pressed violently on the elevator button, entering it with silence.

She didn't know what she meant either.

--

Eleanor was coming back today, a week after what Blair marked as the SC. Serena Confrontation. They had been having a lot of those lately.

One of Eleanor's rare visits home meant that Blair couldn't go out with Georgina. Because as much as Blair didn't care anymore, she knew her mother wouldn't like the new her. And Blair hated to disappoint Eleanor.

She also didn't want to see Eleanor either. It was almost written all over Blair's face that she had changed. It wasn't like her mother was observant or anything, though. But still, Blair went out early to do some shopping.

When she got home, she expected her mother to be off in her atelier or lost in her work.

"Blair Cornelia Waldorf, is that you?"

Blair raised her eyebrows worriedly. As with most families, the use of a full name implied trouble. The last time she had heard that was when she had ripped one of her mother's designs in a bid for attention.

She hadn't done anything wrong that she could recall.

Except for slutting it up and getting hammered every night.

But there was no way her mom would know about that.

"Yes, mom?" Blair rushed into her mother's study.

"Could you please explain to me what the hell this is?" Eleanor stated through clenched teeth.

Blair had no idea. Until she saw the pictures.

It was her, noticeably under the influence of alcohol. Her, surrounded by a throng of aroused and excited men.

Someone needed to her. Who the hell had sent these?

"It was one night, Mom, and maybe somebody thought it was funny."

Blair lied, her mind spinning about who taken and given the pictures to her mom.

"Well, it's not! Blair, one night or not doesn't matter. Your chances at Yale have been ruined if these get out. You do want to go to Yale, don't you?"

"Yes." Blair said.

"Then act like it, girl! I've raised you to be respectful, none of these shenanigans in public. Don't disgrace our name that took centuries to build to what it is now. We are not the Hiltons. Now take these, burn them or whatever. I don't ever want to see anything like this ever again, understand, Blair?"

"Understood." Blair gritted out, starting to leave the room, "Wait, one question. Who gave you these?"

She asked, hoping for a name.

"How would I know? I found them waiting for me here."

Blair nodded, and rushed out of the room.

Serena was trying to prove a point and she was succeeding. No way was Blair going to let her win. It would be like Chuck Bass renouncing sex for eternity. Just not likely.

It was time to go bitch off at her, Blair Waldorf style.

--

Entering the new van der Bass home, Blair couldn't help but take it all in first. It was very well decorated and Lily had excellent taste, even if it killed Blair to admit it. The art was a little risqué and not exactly Blair's cup of tea but she supposed some people found it attractive.

Serena bounded around the corner and towards the doorway.

"Dan? You're ear-"

Blair raised her eyebrows. Dan? Well, that was fast even for Serena. But things tended to flow smoothly for her.

Serena laughed uneasily. "Well, you're not Dan."

Blair's face remained impassive even at Serena's attempt to break the ice.

"How could you?" Blair cried. "You have no right!"

"What?" Serena shook her head to emphasize her confusion.

"Don't pretend with me!" Blair almost screamed, "These!"

She whipped out the incriminating photos.

"Sending them to my mom? That was low, S! Every day you push your standards lower and lower."

"I didn't take these!" Serena exclaimed, taking the photos from Blair's hands.

"You really think I would believe you?" Blair snapped back.

"Way to prove a point. Eleanor Waldorf must be so proud of you? Oh, I get it now. I swear to God, Serena, if you don't leave me alone, I will ruin you. Don't forget, I have more than enough to do so."

Blair threw the threat at her with relish. Reaching for a photos, she grabbed them out of Serena's hand and ripped them into tiny shreds, dropping them at the blonde's feet.

"You're no better than Georgina, no matter how hard you try."

Blair spat, promptly exiting the house afterwards.

Chuck stepped out of a side room and cast his glance on Serena.

"Did you hear that?" Serena hissed at him, flicking her stare to him.

"Yes." He stated passively, playing with the glass in his hand.

"You didn't send it, did you?"

"Of course not! I can't believe she thought I did!"

Fuming, Serena paced anxiously and Chuck followed her movement with an observant eye.

"You know who did, right?"

Serena stopped in her tracks. "Who?"

She asked, her eyes wide. He stared straight into her baby blues and said the name quietly.

"Georgina."