OKKKK so this about lelouch's innermost thoughts which is my version of what happened when he shot her. its a little bit different but it still has relevance to the actual event.

this chapter takes place in lelouch's memory of the past.

im normally a suzaku fan.. but i like lulu too ! so i decide to make the first chapter about lulu. its still a suzaku and euphie one but lulu is also an important character in this sotry (: PLEASE ENJOY and REVIEW !

Bang. He shot her.

That moment when he pulled the trigger and watched as her frail body fall to the ground, he remembered something that happened a very long time ago. Yet, at that very moment it laid fresh in his mind as if it happened just the day before.

"Perhaps, this was first love?"

Was it..

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That long ago...?

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Ten years...

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Lelouch, a thin fragile looking boy has always been different from the rest. He was hard headed and witty as well as clever and intelligent, even for an 8 year old. So different from the others he would rather challenge older men in games of chess and strategy rather than play with the kids outside. Thus, he failed in athleticism and physical activity in comparison to the other boys his age.

"Lelouch!"a little voice shouted out while the young boy sat by himself in the garden. A little girl with bright pink hair wearing a floral dress panted towards him. " Lelouch, I wrote a poem for you" she smiled holding out a piece of paper with scribbles of words on it.

The boy looked up at her with a distorted face. The garden was usually his sanctuary, his little piece of haven away from all the noise and arguments of the everyday life in the palace. Yes, lived in a palace and yes, he was a prince. This fact didn't concern him as much as it should, since he'd rather live away from the boundaries of royalty. He hated politics and such things that would bore him.

"Lelouch let me read it to you okay ?" the girl asked with an exuberant expression.

Lelouch sighed. No matter how hard he tried to escape her grasp, she always managed to find him again. Euphie was his half sister. Their father the king had many wives and its natural within the royal to develop romantic bonds with one another. This guaranteed power to stay amongst the empire.

"I guess.." he replied half heartedly returning to his game of marbles on the garden patio.

Euphie positioned the paper in front of her and began to read. "Roses are red violets are blue the sky is very beautiful and so is Lelouch's face." she paused as she waited for his response.

Leouch let out a roar laughter "that was the dumbest poem ever! Ahaha" he continued his laughter in disregard that Euphie's cheeks began to puff up in anger. "It didn't even rhyme!"

Euhpie cringed and pouted "You are a meanie Lelouch! I tried my best." tears began to stream from her eyes as her face turned a bright pink.

"Come on Euphie, we all know that was a bad poem. Just try harder next time." he told her.

Something about her being sad left an uneasy feeling in him. Perhaps it was right then that he realized how much effort Euphie puts into making him smile. He was always so mean and neglective towards such a sweet child that came back each time. Euphemia was his exact opposite as well as his dearest sister. He never revealed his true feelings to anyone, and hid his emotions behind his actions.

"I tried my hardest on that !" she said crushed.

"Then maybe you just suck at writing poems." he said rather bluntly.

His words crushed the poor girl and she wanted to run off crying, but instead she stayed and took his abuse for reasons not yet known.

"I don't know why you are always so cruel to me lelouch.." she asked him, wiping away her tears.

"Im just telling you the truth." he responded continuing his game on the ground. "But if you're not good at writing poems, then you can be good at other things." he said

"Really..? like what?" she asked between her sniffles.

"Like making people laugh." he said shortly. This was his way of complimenting others. He would never look at them in the eye and kept his words short and concise.

"I do?" she smiled rather largely.

"I guess so."

"Then I will continue making Lelouch laugh!"

Something about those words turned a switch in him. She always tried so hard even when no one wanted to start. Euhpie was a very interesting girl.

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Lelouch...

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Why...?

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Little Lelouch laid in bed unable to sleep. It wasn't that unusual for him to stay awake for countless hours at a time staring at his ceiling. He really hated this life. This life in which he's waited on hand and foot just because of his tittle. He knew that the affection he gained was all fake and he hated it all.

It was raining hard outside and Lelouch looked towards his window to see the water sliding against the glass. He found it fascinating how the liquid ran down the glass so smoothly and watched it with interest. He saw a flash of light and then heard a loud boom. Thunder roared loudly and he couldn't help but wonder through his curious young mind, what caused the sky to do so.

Click Lelouch heard the sound of his door knob twist and the door to his room being pushed open.

"Lelouch..?" a small voice called. It was Euphemia. She peered through from the other side of the door and called out again in a soft timid voice. "Lelouch are you awake?"

He swapped his gaze towards her and stared fixed on the little maiden. Her face held a frightened expression and he saw her tremble. She came to his room this late at night, but why ?

"Euphie ? What are you doing here?" he asked intrigued.

She walked completely into his room and closed the door behind her. "Lelouch .. Do you think.. Um," it seemed as if it was hard for her to get the words out. " do you think I can stay in here tonight..?"

A pinch of curiosity came across his face. Now Euphie usually bugged him on a daily basis, but never before did she come see him in his room this late in the evening.

"Why?" he said bluntly.

"Im scared of thunder." she responded shyly.

It was clear to him now. All those rainy nights when he would hear footsteps going back and forth in the hallway was caused by Euphie. He knew from the looks of it that it took her a lot of courage to come to him.

"Sure."

At those words, Euphie sped across the room and jumped on Lelouch's bed just as the sound of thunder began to roar again. She slid beneath the covers and curled herself in a ball. Lelouch blinked. It made him smile to see how Euphie reacted to thunder.

"Its ok Euphie, thunder won't harm you." he reinsured her.

"Are you sure Lelouch..?" she peeped out from underneath the blankets.

"Yes it is, so get out from underneath there already.." he grabbed the blanket and tossed it aside.

She sat looking at Lelouch with a childish expression on her face. He stared back and then flicked her on the forehead.

"Ow ! Why are you so mean lelouch" she cried rubbing her forehead.

"Why are you such a scaredy-cat Euphie ?" he chuckled. "you're 8 years old already and you still act like a kid."

"That's because I still am a kid Lelouch, and you are too!" she pouted. "Why don't you act your age? You are like an old man sometimes.."

Lelouch was the same exact age as Euphemia, yet he didn't act like it. Ever since he was born, he acted more mature than he should've been. This was what differed him mostly from everyone else. That is why he played by himself. He just simply doesn't fit in with the rest. Euphemia on the other hand acts too childish for her age. She can never be left alone for an instant or she will break down into tears, and clings on to people, especially Lelouch whom she is attached to more than anyone else.

Thunder roared again and Euphemia flinched, letting out a small yelp. Lelouch watched the frightened girl.

"Come closer." he directed her.

Euphie did as he asked and scooted in towards him. He grabbed the blanket that he tossed aside and placed it over the both of them.

" There, at least you can feel safe now, right?" he asked securing the blanket that rested on top of them.

"Mhmm!" Euphie smiled and laid down next to him.

The both of them laid in bed together. It was something that they don't usually do, but Lelouch seemed perfectly fine to it.

"Hey lelouch?"

"Yea?"

"Do you know what makes rain?" she asked naively.

"I don't know."

"You know what I think ?" she said calmly.

"What?"

"I think the sky is sad"

"Why?"

"Because someone died or lost their love or something like that"

Her words fascinated him. Although he didn't know exactly what caused rain, the knew that it was certainly not that. He continued to listen.

"I remember when mother died.. Papa was really sad. And when I was watching him in the garden it was raining really hard. He stood in the rain and called out mama's name. I think the sky heard him and felt sad for him."

Lelouch was taken back. He never knew that his father had such emotions, especially towards Euphie's mother whom he never showed feelings for. Maybe, that was the side he got it from. Stubborn and afraid to admit his feelings. Would he ever want to make such a mistake ?

"Maybe so." Lelouch responded calmly.

"I wonder lelouch.." she began. "If the sky would cry for me too if I lost you." she closed her eyes and leaned towards him. Euphie fell asleep leaving those words in Lelouch's mind.

His face soften and he managed a smile. "That's not going to happen." he leaned towards her as well. "Cus you wont lose me." and fell asleep.

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"Euphie, im sorry I lied.."

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Her body lied on the ground, her clothes bloodstained and tattered. Lelouch hidden behind a mask, hid his tears from the world. Witnessing this, Euphemia's knight, Suzaku Kururugi in a moment of madness came rushing down in his lancelot at the speed of light.

"Out of my way IDIOT!" he hollered with rage. Suzaku picked up her body and zoomed towards the base with all his stamina and strength. "Can someone– anyone– SAVE HER ?!" he panicked holding her fragile bloody body in his arms.

She laid in the emergency room with wires of all sorts hooked onto her. Suzaku stayed by her side, his frustrated expression revealing his resentment. He was confused and angry. How could this have happened ? Euphie was so kind and gentle. There wasn't reason why she should be in this position. Or was there?

She looked up at him. "Suzaku ..?" she said in a weak little voice.

"Euphie, don't speak." he hushed her.

"I can't see your face, although my eyes are open, and your voice is clear to me." she told him.

Tears welled up in his eyes and a drop rolled down his cheeks. His heart skipped a beat and soon his face was wet from tears. She reached out her hands towards him and he grabbed onto it tightly.

"Go to school suzaku.. Because I was never able to finish.."

"Don't be silly, we'll go together, and then we can live a happy school life with our friends. You can graduate and be a teacher or something or even stay home..as a wife. Ill take care of you Euphie. We'll be together always.. Just please don't.. Please don't die !" he cried with all his might.

"That sounds really nice suzaku, you can with my share." her eyelids slowly fell and her head dropped sideways.

"No Euphie, NO... NOO!!"

"Suzaku, to you... love." Euphie spoke her final words, and that night no more words were spoken.

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Why... did everything have to turn out this way?

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What a cruel world this is..

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What an awful existence.

Lelouch stood by himself in the garden of the abandoned palace. This was the place where he spent his days with Euphie who would follow him around when they were kids. What he did, he knew was necessary. But he hated himself for it. His deed was done and there was no turning back. No tears of sorrow, no cries of pain, no will or power could ever bring Euphemia back. That night it rained hard. Harder than any rainy night before. He stood in the rain and let the water drip onto his face which merged with his tears. It was just one of those rainy nights.

thanks for reading my fic. hope you like it. please wait for the next installment. this story is taking a HUGE TURN. so stay tune ! x3 tara PLEASE REVIEW!