Why Alcohol is NOT for EMOS

A random fanfic by Dawn.Fire.Angel

Oneshot crackfic about out beloved blue-haired dude, Tsukimori Len, who I find rather emo at times… this fic is dedicated to the one and only, Midorihimesama, with hopes that she'll find motivation to write soon and that she reads this story. Thanks, Midori-san!

Disclaimer: However much I want this thing, I can't have it. So, obviously, I don't own this. (sob)

Why Alcohol is not for Emos

"Just drink it!"

Tsukimori Len frowned at his green-haired, high senpai who was red in the face and possibly wetting his pants this very moment.

"No."

"Aw, c'mon, Len, you know you wanna," Hino said, slurring slightly. Apparently she was so drunk that she didn't notice that she was using everyone's first names.

Len looked distastefully at the glass of heroin in Hihara's hands, then looked around at the scene around him. Yunoki was too busy kissing someone, while the bodyguards were screaming drunkenly at him words that should never be heard. Tsuchiura had passed out drunk somewhere in the middle of the floor, and everyone was avoiding him, but it wasn't easy as the huge guy took up most of the dance floor. Shimizu was laughing raucously and flirting with a certain Fuyuumi Shouko-san – a big improvement for the very sleepy guy.

"No, I don't," Len snapped at Hino. "I don't want to get freakin' drunk."

"Just one sip," she pleaded, batting her lashes adoringly at him. "Pwetty, pwetty, pwetty, pwetty…"

"Only if you stop saying 'pwetty'."

"…PWEASE!!"

"And that, too."

Hihara handed him the glass, and, with an annoyed sigh, the blue-haired violinist took one sip and his eyes widened as the happy feelings coursed through him, catching him off-balance…

0.o.0.o.0

Two hours and five glasses of heroin later…

Len staggered drunkenly out to his car, leaning against a now not drunk Hino, who'd fainted halfway through the party. He was grinning like an idiot, and blew kisses to every girl he saw.

"Len!" Hino gasped as Len stumbled, and bashed his head against the road.

Chuckling to himself, Len got up and drawled drunkenly in English, "I'm greeeaaat. Don'tcha worry 'bout moi, babe!"

Hino stared at him blankly. "You do know I don't have the faintest idea what crap you're spouting, but I still think its crap."

"Groovy baby."

"Even though I don't know what you're saying, I still gotta get you outta here." Then, she sighed. "I don't get paid enough for this…" she murmured before hoisting the drunken, giggling guy up and dragging him to the car… literally.

"WAIT!! I left the bottle in the room!!" he yelled in English, and started to kick and pull against Hino.

Hino sighed again. "Next holiday, I'm gonna take English classes."

Len shrieked again and managed to bash his head for the second time in the very same place he hit his head before.

Tsuchiura came walking by, grumbling to himself about hiding the heroin bottles in his house while pulling a very drunken Hihara and Shimizu, who was yelling something about calling me later and we'll do something romantic after a shaking Fuyuumi. Hihara was laughing so hard that he wet his pants… again.

"Peace out people!!" Len yelled, seemingly forgetting the bottle. "PLEACE!!" He made the 'peace-out' sign, and a couple of hippies went 'WOOT!'.

Then Len whacked his head for the third time in the very same spot, and passed out.

So, people. That's why emos should never drink.

0.o.0.o.0

When everyone left…

The two hippies turned to each other and gave each other high fives.

"We like, so rule!"

"Groovy, honey, groovy. We succeed in making the place happy! And it's all thanks to you."

"No, it's thanks to you, Sunneh!"

They bumped each other and walked off.

"Hey, did you see that blue-haired guy after drinking out special concoction?"

"Yeah, I thought he was gonna like, snog that babe."

"This thing is like, so awesome!"

And that's why you should never trust hippies either. No, I'm kidding.

Anywhoo, this took out more than I thought. My humor's been having a draught, so I'm sorry if it isn't funny… sorry!

Please review!