Chapter 1 – How Could I?

Edward-

I exhaled deeply. The tedium of moving was one that I would gladly trade in for humanity. If only we could stay in one place. However, this time was my requisite. The images that had happened only a few days earlier had been ones that kept coming to the dark of my closed eyelids, as if they were ingrained in them. I couldn't escape it. Bella Swan was dead.

I felt terrible. Awful. I could have saved her. I really should have. However, the decision was much too weighted. I had to pick her or my family. Let her be crushed by a van and get all of us killed by the Volturi, or let her die and we would live peacefully, even happily. I'd chosen my family over Bella Swan.

"Edward," Alice called gently, shaking me from my moping. My favorite sister's grin was gone; it had been since Bella's death. I hadn't asked whether it was because she'd lost a friend that she'd never had or whether she was just being solemn for me. "Esme wants to know if you're hunting tonight."

Right. Despite every emotion that I felt, I was still a vampire. I was still expected to act normally and fit in with the humans. I'd had my few days to wallow. Now was the time to put on a new façade.

"Yeah, I'll hunt tonight. It's her, Carlisle, and you, right?" I didn't think I could survive being around Jasper or Rosalie, their superior attitudes seeming much too cheerful for the event that had just happened. Both had thought that we should have just killed Bella. Well, they'd just gotten their way. I hoped they were happy.

"Mhmm. You know, maybe you should try talking to Emmett. He'd be more sympathetic than Rose." She couldn't truly say anything bad about Jasper. They were in love, for heaven's sake. They had more than I did, anyways.

"Maybe," I mumbled, knowing that I most likely wouldn't. Emmett would just tell Rose, and then she'd feel even more superior. Rosalie's ego was the last person's that I wanted to inflate. So, I'd suffer in peace.

"You know, Edward . . . If you don't want to speak to Emmett, you could at least talk to me, or even Carlisle. Esme would love to listen to you too." She was grasping at straws. But, this was why I liked Alice. I wound an arm around her waist in a brotherly way, and she wrapped her arms around me. "You don't have to endure this alone."

Wrong. I did have to endure this alone. Because I was the person who had the decision. I was the person who had allowed Bella to die. I couldn't even take comfort in the fact that I hadn't gone for her throat after her blood had been spilled. Alice had helped, of course. But I'd held my breath. I had more self-control than I'd realized. However, I couldn't take too much pride in that.

"Thanks, Alice, but I think I'd rather survive this alone." I half-smiled. "Besides, it's my fault that you're stuck in this hellhole called Eugene." Yes, Eugene, Oregon was now our new home. Rainy, dreary, and completely . . . boring. A town of hippies. There was no other way to explain it. We would fit in here, being normal. Or maybe we wouldn't. Oh well.

She laughed her usual trilling laugh, the first time I'd heard the sound in the last three days. "I think I might like it here. Next to the Willamette River, it's a good place to hunt . . . fish." She giggled. Hunting fish seemed like a new challenge. We'd never really considered it.

I laughed, but the sound was hollow. "Thanks, but no thanks. I think I'll stick to the elk."

She shrugged. "Suit yourself. Get ready; tomorrow we enroll at North Eugene High School. Home of the Highlanders," she said, trying to put enthusiasm in her voice and failing miserably. "And the worst football team on Earth," she added under her breath.

"Best basketball team in the league though," Emmett mentioned, coming over to where we stood. He was Alice's opposite, large and bulky instead of small and petite. He ran a hand through his curly dark hair, mussing Alice's black hair in the same movement. "Anyways, Esme and Carlisle want you to hurry up. They're thirsty."

I stood from my position lounging against the house. Alice disentangled her arms from my chest, grinning suddenly. "Got it. See you, Em," I bade farewell as we left. Believe it or not, when I smiled at Esme and Carlisle, my "adopted" mother and father, my grin was more hopeful than it had been all week.

Embry-

I groaned as Paul and Seth continued to argue in the front seat. Paul was winning, although I couldn't have told you what the argument was about. Moving from First Beach in La Push to Eugene, Oregon seemed like more of a chore than anything. My mom had insisted though, saying that it was good to move around, see a little bit more of the world.

Right.

However, I still found myself moving to Eugene, despite my better judgment. Paul and Seth were coming with me, Seth's reasoning being that he wanted to get away from Leah for a bit (which I couldn't blame her for); Paul's being a mystery still. He tried to pass it off as his mom worrying about me (I'd never met his mom, but the way he explained this, it was like I was her long-lost child), but I knew better. I wasn't an idiot.

Despite all of this, I was riding in a cramped little car, listening more to their argument than the radio. I fished the tiny MP3 player that Jacob and Quil had bought me as a gift. It was filled with all of our favorites; ACDC, Guns N Roses, Golden Earring, etc. I loved it. However, the little thing's volume wouldn't go up high enough to drown out Paul and Seth.

"We're here!" Seth finally called out, and I sighed in relief. A two-and-a-half hour car trip was too long with them in the car. We turned onto our exit, and Paul deftly maneuvered the car to the small house that the three of us (with my mom) now shared. I groaned. School would start tomorrow. Time to fill out the paperwork that I'd accidentally (on purpose) procrastinated.

Ilina –

"No way!" I exclaimed, holding the phone closer to my ear as my dear friend Beki explained to me all about the things that she and our friend Sarah had done while I'd been at work.

"You so should have been there! It was so hilarious!" she exclaimed. "Hey, I can't remember. What was our homework for Ms. Downey's class?" she asked, changing the subject abruptly.

"We had Book X in the Odyssey, hun," I reminded her with a sigh. Despite the fact that I'd just told her, she'd be cramming the moment that I saw her in the morning. That was just Beki.

"Alright. I'm gonna go do that. Talk to you tomorrow, Ilina."

"Love you, hun," I said as I hung up. I figured that I'd go to sleep soon. I'd already read the Odyssey totally through. I'd just have to survive tomorrow.

A/N: Yay! My second fanfic, up and running! Yeah, it's a unique idea, but I like unique ideas, as you could see if you look at my FFX-2 fanfic. Then again, some of you might be coming from there!

DISCLAIMER: None of the Twilight characters belong to me. They're all property of a wonderful author named Stephenie Meyer. However, Ilina is my character, as is Beki, Sarah, and Ms. Downey. Anyone who was not in Twilight is my character. No stealing, please.

So, read it and review?