Code Geass: Requiem

Chapter 03: How the world remains nothing more but a dream

Writer: KarumA-chan

Set after the series finally

Don't own

I am sorry for the long wait, I first thought that I would be able to keep up with my writing while staying here in Amsterdam and moving back and forth in the weekends but I had underestimated it and eventually realised that I was greatly over stressed with lack of sleep and workload so I decided to stop for a while to think things over for my stories, come up with new plots (which I did btw) and I am happy to let you know that my internship will be over by the end of this month, so by then I will move back to my home again and live with my family which I miss every day, I miss my dog and mom, ha ha and my dad's cooking though I did manage to cook 3 out of 5 days and unlike my fellow countrymen I cook Chinese and Indonesian food since that is what my old man cooks as well and that is what he taught me to cook by watching. I hope that clears up some issues with people thinking that I might have cancelled the story, which I am not planning to at all. In fact I have some awesome new ideas for it that I am certain you will like.

I won't keep you waiting much longer, go ahead and enjoy the chapter!

Also a thank you to diotima who is translating this fanfiction to Chinese for her blog, I hope they enjoy reading this as much as us English readers!

Upon falling stars do all people wish. Even if the wish was something unobtainable or humanly not possible do we still wish for things that we cannot receive. Where once a man spoke for the world and wished for a tomorrow were there now people wishing for the happiness this sacrifice never received after he paid its price. One man realises that his made wish might have been granted and that the inhuman turned human once more while another wishes to share the burden of his sins. Another wishes to be strong and courageous to fulfil someone else's wish while another wanders around like a fallen star without any received wishes. All people wish for something, even if their hearts may not yet know what it is that they seek.

The man who now witnessed how his wish had become reality stared with shocked eyes at the proof before him. Jeremiah Gottwald bends to his knees and with his hands he digs into the brown soil, pushing it aside until he is confronted by wood. The coffin was still in the grave and the hatch had been broken open, the more he looked at it the more he realised that it was broken open from the inside. His eyes narrowed as he rose to his feet. Kicking and shuffling he moved the dirt back over the grave to hide the destroyed coffin and walked away.

Their talking caught her attention and the young pink haired girl who often came to this palace to play and take piano lessons watched as talk turned to gunfire and how gunfire turned to blood. She gasps as the tall figure before her falls back against the stone stairway. Too afraid to say words she merely hides where she is, her mouth unmoving but the tears that roll down her cheeks give a meaning to this unspoken fear and it was then that those eyes turned and saw her. Those were the eyes of someone dying and the live was slowly being drained from her. She remained still but with every passing moment she could feel a connection to this woman and slowly she felt as if she was losing grip over herself, slowly her surroundings became darker and they tried to lock her out.

Her eyes snapped open when a hand shook her shoulders and the now older girl looked at the man standing beside her. He stood with one hand against the open door of the truck as the other removed itself from her shoulder. Anya looks around and notices how the sun was already up, she must have dozed off when they were driving. Still confused of her whereabouts she first looked around, the truck was standing at the side of the road and up ahead she saw houses of a nearby village.

"Jeremiah, where are...?"

"We're there"

Jeremiah said and the girl nodded at him. She wondered if he would show her the grave he had been talking about before she dozed off but by the sight of dirt on his gloves does she realise that he had already gone there. She got out of the vehicle to get some air and noticed that Jeremiah was now walking towards the buildings in the distance.

"Where are we going?"

She asked him as she ran up to his side, his expression was stern which could only mean that something bad had happened while she was asleep. She remembered only bits and pieces from their conservation while Jeremiah drove away from the farm, the girl had been tired and had dozed off in the middle of it but she still remembered that this concerned something of extreme importance. Jeremiah had told her that Suzaku was now Zero, she was not surprised because she knew that Suzaku wouldn't die that easily. She had wondered about Lelouch's corpse, but never with serious reason to want to ask about it and now she heard that Suzaku found it empty. Jeremiah said that for his master he'd go and investigate, he still served Lelouch vi Britannia and would get involved in any situation if it concerned him or his family name. Jeremiah explained that Suzaku had buried him where no one could find them, it was a personal place where they spend most of their childhood days and it wasn't that far from the Kururugi shrine. They were now near a village that was closest to the grave and shrine and Jeremiah probably hoped to find answers from the villagers there. She knew this because he didn't say anything and instead kept on walking as his eyes scouted the area for any irregularities.

The wind blew through her hair and she raised her hand to get the strains of pink away from her sight, when she looked again she suddenly felt a shiver run up her spine and her anxiousness grew as they came closer to the village. There was something wrong but she couldn't explain what it was. The main street was abandoned and she saw a pile of burned wood in the middle of the town, this she found strange and as she came closer she noticed various items lying amongst the remains of half burned wood. Her foot came in contact with something and she looked down, when she saw a picture frame of the former Emperor Lelouch she jumped back as if it were cursed.

"What is this?"

She whispered out to the man beside her and he looked down at the cracked frame with sadness as he answered her question.

"This is done by the idiots who can't see further than their noses, it is what Lelouch strived for to create a new tomorrow. A ritual in which they burn all that is acquainted to him like cowardly dogs dancing in the night when the moon is already gone. It happens not only here but everywhere, they celebrate the devil's defeat and cry his name when he can no longer hear it..."

She listened to those wise words and only then realised that she knows nothing of the current world. The student Lelouch she knew was a kind and gentle person and was equal to the Prince she had taken a picture of in the past. This requiem had portrayed him as a demon, a tyrant but that was not who she believed him to be. Even Zero was merely a mask that covered his true features, his true kindness and his true reasons for doing what he did. She was curious about him because she wondered what was going on behind that mask he wore. Jeremiah walked forward and looked around as Anya remained still and observant. She knew that Jeremiah wouldn't want her to stand in the way, which was one of his terms she agreed on when she tagged along.

"Who are you people?"

She turned around and saw a woman standing against the wall, her hands held up what seemed a wooden club but they were shaking so badly that she seemed obviously afraid of their presence. Jeremiah heard her as well and walked up to her, the woman looked at his face which only made her more terrified. Without hesitation did Jeremiah walk up to her, the woman backed away and with a warning cry swung the weapon towards him but he easily grabbed it with one of his hands.

"No, stay away!"

"Yesterday, did something happen?"

He asked bluntly and the woman looked at him with confusion mingled with the remaining taints of distrust before she nodded.

"Tell me what happened..."

The woman led them through the village, past the bonfire remains and to a somewhat larger house in the back. Anya noticed that the streets were completely empty and as they walked to this house they could hear voices, voices that made the hairs in her neck stand up. When they went inside she didn't know what to think, perhaps she was even afraid at seeing what she saw.

"The devil! It was the devil I tell you!"

"No, I don't want to go back there..."

Men lay on beds and were being held down by their wives and friends. She watched them scream as they crawled around the sheets as if there was something there haunting them. She stood still in front of the door and listened as the woman prayed for their husbands to regain sanity and to stop hurting themselves and others. On one of the beds a woman was trying to calm her husband down but he flipped and hit her in the face when he tried to crawl back to the corner of his bed, she cried at the realisation that all her efforts were futile. Anya quickly walked to Jeremiah's side as he followed the woman through the bed to the back of the room, a somewhat older man got up from his seat and looked at him with the same distrusting eyes.

"Travellers? What is your business here?!"

He asked them and the woman quickly ran to his side as if seeking protection. How can so many people be so lost? They weren't here to make trouble, though it seemed that Suzaku had been right about something, something had indeed happened. But how could it have expanded to this?

"These men... Since when has this happened?"

Jeremiah asked in a soft and calm tone, the complete opposite from the people around him it seemed. He walked to one of the men lying on his bed, this person seemed somewhat calmer thought it was only an illusion. His hands held onto his sheets as if it was a lifeline and his eyes were wide open staring at the ceiling.

"Yesterday night something happened, we don't know... Ooy stay away from him!"

Jeremiah ignored the man and pressed the palm of his hand against the man's forehead, when he did his eye glowed up unwillingly and he gasped when he felt a familiar aura around the man below him.

"This feeling... geass"

He raised his hand again and realised that there was something strange about this feeling. The aura of it felt familiar but the power it had was somewhat misplaced. Either way he might know of a way to help this man. Anya watched from a distance as the man who had previously yelled now ran forward to stop this stranger, but before he could reach the revered geass was released and Jeremiah placed his hand back on his forehead. The body underneath him shook and rasped breathing came out of his throat before he calmed down, when Jeremiah raised his hand for a second time was the man now sleeping calmly and the angry farmer couldn't believe what he saw.

"He's sleeping peacefully now, don't worry he'll be alright as will everyone else..."

"How... How did you do that?"

Looking up he now noticed the lack of screaming and saw how everyone had turned quiet. The geassed husbands were all sound asleep and their wives were left confused but happy that their prayers had been answered. He noticed that his phone was ringing but decided to ignore it because now wasn't the right time to answer it.

"It doesn't matter how I did this, now tell me what happened last night"

The school bell rang and signalled an end to today's classes. She had missed the familiar tune and got up from her seat as she grabbed her bag. Kallen Stadtfeld was enjoying this new life of hers and everyday she thanked Lelouch for giving her this. Only when it was too late did she realise what his plan was, though even now she couldn't grasp his reasons fully but she knew who the new person behind Zero's mask was. She knew Lelouch long enough to know that he'd want Suzaku to do this for him.

"Kallen, he's waiting again!"

"Again?!"

"Yes, come look"

She left her bag and walked to the window where one of her classmates was standing. The girl pointed down to a figure standing outside and Kallen sighed when she realised who this person was.

"Is he your boyfriend or something?"

"No!"

She yelled and walked back to her desk. Stuffing her books in the bag before she leaves the classroom to meet him outside. He was standing nonchalant wearing a uniform from the same school, unlike her he already had an educational degree and enough money to live the rest of his life from so she wondered why he was still showing up every now and then at the exact same spot. Below her classroom, right in time to see her leave.

"Aah, Kallen! Good afternoon!"

"Don't you afternoon me, what are you doing here?!"

As if it were a routine did she walk past him to the front gates and he simply followed her without saying a word, though his smile revealed that he was very pleased what the attention he received.

"Don't follow me!"

She yelled and looked over her shoulder and the tall blonde.

"I'm not following you..."

"Then what do you think you're doing?!"

"In reality I am going to a snack store that just happens to be in your neighbourhood"

"Liar..."

He followed her as she walked downtown and stood next to her while she was in the metro. Kallen ignored him completely but somehow this scene seemed familiar as if it had happened many times before, however this time it was different.

"Ne, Gino...?"

The blonde, who was now walking out in front of her as if he already knew the way Kallen walked back to her house, turned and looked at the girl.

"Why are you doing this? Don't you have anything better to do?"

"Normally yes, but Anya is no longer here... My family is being an ass all the time so I skipped out"

"You ran away?!"

Kallen looked at him in shock.

"Not really... It's just that I find you interesting, that's why..."

She remembered how he had said this before in the past and couldn't help but blush a little. Before Gino could realise it she stomped past him, but she didn't know that he was already on to her and his smile could only grow wider as he followed her again. Once arrived at her house he waved her goodbye and finally she gave him a sign of gentleness and smiled back as she waved. When he turned to walk away he heard her call out his name and as he turned around Kallen ran up to him.

"Gino... If you don't mind doing this, will you come with me this Sunday? Tamaki opened a bar and everyone is coming to celebrate the opening, would you come with me?"

"Only if it's a date..."

"Never!"

"That is settled then, I'll pick you up this Sunday. See you then!"

Shocked in place Kallen watched as he ran off, it was only after he left that she realised.

"Did he now ignore my decline? I didn't even tell him the time... Gino!"

Illusionary, that was how he described the world around him. The sword from his vision still plagued him as well as the waiting man but he knew that thinking about them wouldn't help him further. The next morning after he woke up he changed his outfit and discarded to lose clothing he had worn the day before. The old lady had left him somewhat normal clothing, pants that were too big for him and a long sleeved shirt two sizes too large. His hand passed over the bandages again before he put them on and he wondered if he was perhaps wounded because of the continuing sting that returned whenever he was confronted by a vision of kind.

Breakfast was somewhat awkward, he looked at the sweet omelette and even without the memory he knew what it would taste like. Misaki glared at him and noted that he was acting weird and rude because he was the person who had made this meal. Misaki probably didn't know that his entire existence was in fact weird and that the child couldn't comprehend to what he was going through.

"Don't look at it as if it is disgusting!"

The child complained as he took his first bite, the taste was just as he had imagined it. He didn't want to be here, it felt unnatural for him to be in this atmosphere. He wanted knowledge, not only of himself but most importantly about that word that kept on wandering to his conscious. Suzaku. A flash of green passed through his vision and suddenly he dropped his chopsticks in shock. They fell down on the table and he merely stared forward, ignoring the extra wave of complaints from the young boy as he realised that he just saw something. Eyes, he saw eyes. He was certain he saw green eyes just now.

"Is something wrong?"

A voice asked him in the distance and he looked up at the old lady who was eating in her armchair. He quickly apologized and continued eating. As quick as it appeared had the memory now left him again, he remembered that he saw a pair of eyes and that they were green but their look was now forgotten and the rest of the time he remained quiet as he tried to remember them and with them perhaps even more. He wanted to know about himself, why he carried the face of a tyrant and why he crawled out of the earth begging for life. These things occupied him as he continued eating and when breakfast had ended the old lady turned to him once more and asked him.

"Would you be so kind and do the dishes?"

"Yes, don't you think that our food comes for free!"

Was a comment coming from the brat next to him.

"Misaki?"

"Yes?"

He used an entirely different tone against her and with innocent eyes did he gaze up at her. After all she was his mentor.

"You can do the laundry"

"Eeh..."

He cried out but nonetheless he did what was asked of him. Misaki got up from his sitting pillow and left the room. Leaving only Lelouch with the elder blind lady of the house.

"You..."

She stopped for a moment and Lelouch looked at her.

"What should I call you?"

She then asked in a kind tone, but her kindness was not received the way she intended it to be. Lelouch looked at her and even though his expression was unreadable inside he was panicking a little. Since he carried the face of Lelouch vi Britannia did that also mean that he carried his identity?

"I..."

He stopped and remained silent as he pondered what his answer should be. Should he lie to her?

"I know who you are..."

"Eeh...?"

He looked at her again and the woman smiled at him. He was only getting more and more confused by her sayings.

"You feel the same as that woman. She stayed here for a while years ago, I'm sorry but when you get older you start losing track of those things"

"Who was she?"

"She had a similar aura as you have now. Do you, like her, not remember? Your name, your past..."

"Sort of, I'm not sure"

He felt uneasy about this situation. A woman who carried the same aura as he did, who did she mean by that? Perhaps this person was someone he knew or someone who knew why he was this way. But he felt uneasy to expose himself to her because he was still afraid that she would hate him like the villagers. Even when he didn't know of the things that he had done did he know that he had to be careful.

"That is alright. Now, would you be so kind and help Misaki with his chores?"

"What do I need to do?"

"Could you do the dishes for him?"

"Of course"

He bowed to her and gathered the bowls and cups, he got up from his seat and walked to the old lady to grab her plate. She didn't sit with them when they ate, she was always sitting in her arm chair. Nori looked at him as he grabbed her plate but this time the dog didn't growl, though he was still careful around him and didn't pet it on his head.

"When you're done please take Nori on his walk"

The old woman said to him as he walked away and he nodded to her before leaving the room to help Misaki with his chores. The rest of the day went past rather quickly. After finishing the dishes he returned to the woman to take Nori with him, she added that some fresh air would do him well. So now he wandered around the forest with the German shepherd who walked up ahead of him, doing his business like all dogs do while he wondered about his history and his surroundings. As they walked up the hill he realised that there was a building on top, he stopped walking and turned back at that point because he knew it was not wise to expose himself. It would be dangerous if he met other people. The dog followed him as he walked back. As he changed his shoes the dog took off and as he walked to the living room he could hear Misaki talking to the animal, he mentioned something about food before he continued to the sliding door.

A truck drove down the countryside road, the man driving inhaled from a cigarette as he looked at the green pains from his open window. It was a beautiful day, there were no clouds to block to warm rays of the sun and the harvest had been great that day. He was exhausted though and knowing that he still had hours to go before even reaching his hometown only made life less appealing for him. He looked up as he saw someone walking up ahead, he was surprised that someone would be walking in the middle of nowhere and thus he came to a stop next to this person. Leaning over and opening the passenger door on the other side he looked at the woman who stared at him without any clear expression. Golden eyes blinked as he laughed and sat ups straight.

"I'm sorry young lady, I saw you walking and figured maybe you would want a ride"

The woman put her suitcase on the ground together with what seemed an oversized plushie of sort.

"How long until I reach the next town?"

She asked him as her hand pushed a strain of green hair over her shoulder.

"I would guess... at leased another hour, two if you go on foot. That's why I was wondering wouldn't it be a shame to let such a pretty lady walk all the way there"

She remained silent for a moment as if thinking and then she said.

"I'll take your offer... on one condition"

"And that is?"

"I ride in the back"

The cigarette nearly dropped from his mouth and he stared at her unblinking because of this weird condition. Of course he wouldn't do anything to her but the back was filled with remains of hay and crates, it wouldn't be comfortable. Eventually he sighed and said to her.

"Do as you please..."

The green haired woman bowed to him and picked up her things, she threw them in the back of the truck and climbed in. The man in the truck watched from the mirror and noticed that the green haired woman stopped mid-step when she tried to climb onboard and after a minute or so stepped off and walked back to the driver. He lowered his window again and wondered if she had changed her mind.

"I changed my mind, I'll walk"

Her expression was as emotionless as it was before and she didn't even wait for a response because before he could give one to her she was already gone and was at the back of the truck retrieving her belongings. The driver sighed deeply and leaned forward over the steering wheel.

"Women... I'll never understand them"

The truck continued on and the green haired witch remained standing in the middle of the road, the wind brushing through her hair with sounds that could have been whispers. The coldness of her eyes had partly been melted and only in the absence of others did she facially show what was on her mind and right now many things went through, things she had forgotten about and things that were not foreseen.

"You're back aren't you..."

It was getting late, Lelouch watched as the young boy yawned for the third time in a short moment as his hands passed through the heated water to wipe off any remains of food. Misaki was standing on a wooden bucket turned upside down so that he could reach the counter, every now and then he would walk to the back to put the dried dishes in their cabinets.

"Misaki...?"

"What leech?"

Lelouch frowned at that comment.

"You can go to bed, I'll finish this up"

The boy's face lit up at those words and within seconds had he finished drying the cup, had put it in its cabinet and had hung up his drying towel.

"Tell the old lady you're going bed"

Half the sentence remained unheard because in the middle of it the door was slammed shut again and footsteps echoed through the small building. Lelouch sighed and continued but looked up again when the door opened to the kitchen and Misaki walked inside again to retrieve some things, a drinking bowl as well as a bottle which he filled with cold water.

"Obaa-chan wants to see you"

He raised his hands out of the water and shook them to get rid of the excessive water before drying them off with a towel. As he walked through the wooden hallways he could smell something weird and when he opened the sliding doors to the living area he was confronted by an aroma that nearly made him breathless. He walked inside and sat down near the table and watched as the old lady, who still sat in the same chair, continued to grind herbs in a round granite bowl. Her left hand raised to some flower lying on the table next to her, they were of unknown kind to him but she added several before grinding them to a pulpy mixture whose smell filled up the entire room, it smelled like flowers and lemon grass, but the kind of flowers whose smell was so strong that it brought tears in his eyes if he didn't blink as much as he now did.

"Dear, could you hold the teapot?"

Without questions did he follow her orders and grabbed the teapot standing on the table, the water inside was not all too hot and he walked over to her. Her wrinkled hands removed the lid and with a wooden spoon did she push the orange, brown substance in the warm water and when that was done she stirred the liquid.

"What is this?"

The old woman smiled.

"It is something I read about when my eyes could still see this world. You might want to consider asking what it does rather than what it is, because simply put it is tea but what it does is something that differs from person to person and for you it might even show you what road you must take, now put it in one of the bowels please"

He did what was asked and was surprised that water pouring out now carried an orange tint that resembled soup, he wanted to fill another but the elder lady stopped him.

"I am sorry to put you in such a situation, but right now this is the best I can think off, everyone has a purpose. Mine was to become Misaki's guardian and as long as yours remains unknown to you, you will never be able to progress further. You're just like that woman"

"You spoke of her before, but what do you mean we are the same?"

"I don't know much about her because she didn't know herself either, but you feel like her. Your presence I mean and perhaps this is another road for me to take, the road of guidance for your kind"

Lelouch looked at the steaming liquid and listened to the elder's words.

"You must drink that liquid, what you will see I don't know. Maybe the future or maybe the past but what I do know is that it shows you what is most important to you and for you that might even be the reason why you are here"

"The reason why I am here?"

He mumbled and his hands took a hold of the round clay made bowel, he looked into the liquid and thought for a second. Soft warmth spread through his stomach and for a moment he even smiled. Perhaps this could answer everything for him, perhaps this could answer the most important question that was raging through his mind and that was making his heart beat so much faster than it already was. What is Suzaku?

He raised the bowel to his lips and could feel the strong smell in his nostrils as he slowly drank from the tea, its taste was as heavy as its smell and it took him a while to get accustomed to it. However when he was halfway he felt something strange and within seconds the room started to spin, or perhaps it was him losing his balance or grip over reality. He sat the cup down with a loud slam having lost all grasp of his actions and leaned forward where he tried to breathe which became ever so difficult. His arms and chest fell heavy as well as his head which was leaning forward, his chin against his chest as if it was too heavy to lift. He could hear talking but the words remained nothing more but mumbles and within moment his body felt too heavy for him and he fell on his side, not even feeling himself hit the carpeted floor because of the swimming feeling that waved through him.

"What are you doing, that's not how you hold them!"

There was a voice in his head, he could hear it now.

"You hold them like this, one between your thumb and index finger..."

A familiar voice that still seemed so far away, he could see a blur of white and brown that carried this boyish voice, nothing more.

"...the other you rest on your middle and ring finger, like this!"

This place, he remembered this place. This place where he was...

He then saw a long set of stone stairs which he quickly crossed only to arrive at red gate on top that carried the sign, Kururugi Shrine. He couldn't remember why he was there but he did know that he went there at some point in his life. The Kururugi Shrine. Wasn't that the place where he...

"Onii-sama!"

His eyes opened again and as quickly as it came did that memory flash by, he had seen two figures in less than a second and could hardly remember them. One wore something white the other was sitting or was at leased shorter than the other and wore pink, he also remembered the colour brown but most importantly he remembered. His mouth opened with a quick gasp as he saw green eyes, green cold eyes that stared at him from a memory long ago and without reason did he whisper that name again.

"Suzaku..."

He fell forward on his knees when he felt something heavy near his heart and his hand rose up to rub over the area but when he heard quickened footsteps he got to his feet again and gazed into the darkness to try and see what was running his way. It was however too late, a figure wearing a darkened helmet stepped forward out of the shadows with sword drawn and plunged it into his chest, causing him to exhale every inch of air that was still inside him.

It could just be the water coming from the shower that was making his mind think that it was raining like it had on that day. The bedroom was empty, clothes were thrown across the floor and only a dim light streaming in from the narrow space left behind by the half open bathroom door made this visible. The tall curtains were shut and the bedroom door locked. The uniform of Zero lay sprawled over the floor and bed, all its respect discarded by its wearer and next to it lay an empty vial of what he had called his curse and secret, one that he would regret the next morning when he would call it his last only to repeat the cycle of denigration and disgust.

Closer to the lit up room you could hear him, soft moans and cries as shampoo bottles fell off their planks and inside was a scene of imagination, a euphoric memory he once shared with the person he loved. A memory of rain, of heat and of passion. A memory he didn't want to forget and one he would repeat without hesitation. His tongue passed over the steamed tiles against the wall next to the bathtub that he had clumsily climbed into and had most likely fallen into. His tongue passing over the cement between the tiles as his hands stroked over his erection, each delicate stroke reminding him of what had happened that day. That day when it weren't his hands that had done this ritual of euphoria but his, that day those delicate and porcelain hands had touched him and the day those perfect lips had sealed his.

"Lelouch..."

"Suzaku..."

He gasped and moaned, his senses stronger from the drug he had taken.

"Lelouch..."

And in between those moans of pleasure came tears as slowly reality sunk in, the remembrance of the sword that stood in his quarters and the mask that stood on his nightstand.

He moaned differently this time and nearly snorted when ears ran down his cheeks, however he didn't stop.

"Lelouch..."

The once pleasured tone now lacked existence and was replaced by the pain he felt in his heart and even when he came there were no sounds of pleasure, only rain. The water was still pouring down on him even as eh remained still, his sobs silent and content because he was ashamed of himself. He cleaned himself and slowly staggered towards the bed, still half wet and he whipped the items of his bed, the cape falling down on the ground and the empty vial falling next to it as he crawled under the covers only to be consumed by the pain that was in his heart and the duty he had pledged to fulfil.