This idea has been in my head for ages (I don't know if any others are on here) but i had to type it up.
This is my attempted humor. Enjoy it please and pretty please leave a review x
How Are Babies Made?
"Pai?"
"Yes, Taruto?"
Taruto bit his lip, asking himself whether or not he should ask Pai the question was roaming through his young mind.
"Well, Taruto? What did you want?"
Taruto sighed, deciding to ask his question, since he was so bothered about it. "How are babies made?"
Pai blinked several times at Taruto. "'How are babies made'? Why do you want to know this?"
Taruto shrugged his shoulders. "It was on my mind. So I thought I should ask you, being clever and everything. You know the answer, right?"
Pai twitched at Taruto's curiosity. Why did he want to know how babies were made? He was like a baby himself. Though he would have to find out someday, Pai just didn't realise that that day was today.
"Well Pai, do you know?" Taruto's young, high-pitched voice helped Pai break free of his thoughts.
"Of course I know." Pai answered stiffly.
"Well..." -Taruto rocked backwards and forwards on his heels whilst rolling his eyes slowly in a circle- "...could you tell me?"
Pai cleared his throat. Why did he have to describe this to Taruto? Why did Taruto pick him? Out of all the intelligent Aliens on their planet? Why him? "I'm a little busy to explain it to you, Taruto. Why don't you ask Kisshu?"
"Why? Does he know?" Taruto asked, somewhat excited.
Pai nodded once. "Of course he knows. He's an expert in that area."
Taruto tilted his head to the side out of confusion. "What area?"
"Kisshu will tell you which area." Pai sighed.
"Okay. Sayonara, Pai!" Taruto waved as he teleported away.
As soon as he was gone, Pai sank into his chair with relief. He felt slightly awkward, having to almost speak about an adult theme with a infant younger than ten. Why was his curious mind so eager to know these things? Well, whatever the reason, Pai was happy that he didn't have to explain to Taruto how he was made.
Taruto appeared outside of Kisshu's room. He knocked on the door and waited.
"Pai said that Kisshu was an expert in this. Kisshu's explanation should be better than what Pai would give me in a million years!"
"Who is it?!" Taruto heard Kisshu shout from inside his room.
"It's me, Taruto!" Taruto answered.
"Whadd'ya want?" Kisshu groaned.
"I want to ask you something. Can I come in?" Taruto asked sweetly.
He heard Kisshu sigh. "Fine."
Taruto smiled as he pulled down the door handle and pushed the door open. He saw Kisshu lying cross-legged on the floor, staring at the plain ceiling. He looked bored.
"Whadd'ya want, Taruto?" Kisshu asked, monotone taking over his voice.
Taruto sat on the floor in front of Kisshu. "How are babies made?"
Kisshu's eyes widened as Taruto's question sank into his mind. With one swift movement, he sat up to face Taruto. "You wanna know how babies are made?"
"Uh-huh." Taruto smiled. "Pai said that you were an expert in that area."
Kisshu blinked. "What area?"
"He said that you would tell me which area." Taruto answered with a cute but cheeky grin.
A smirk slowly grew on Kisshu's face. "That area, eh?"
"What area?" Taruto asked curiously.
"Taruto," Kisshu waited to gain Taruto's full attention. "Are you and Purin still in love?"
"Hai." Taruto answered with a nod.
"Well when you two get to my age, you'll show each other how much you love each other by-"
"But we already show each other how much we love each other!" Taruto interrupted.
Kisshu twitched. "You do?"
"Yeah!" Taruto yelled. "She gives me candy drops all the time. That shows that she loves me."
Kisshu sighed with both relief and exasperation. "I didn't mean with candy."
"Oh." Taruto said slowly. "Well what did you mean?"
Kisshu sighed once more. "You know like you wear clothes?"
"Yeah..." Taruto slowly answered, unsure of where Kisshu was going with his answer.
"Well one day, you and Purin, or any other girl, or boy, will get together without clothes." Kisshu stated in a way which Taruto would understand.
"Really?" Taruto gasped.
"Hai." Kisshu smirked. "You and Purin will get into a bed, naked, and enjoy each other-"
"Enjoy each other?" Taruto repeated. "Whadd'ya mean by that?"
"Well..." Kisshu looked up at the ceiling as he thought of a way to explain it without being rude about it. "...when you're older, you'll go through a thing called puberty."
"Puberty? What's that?" Taruto asked.
"It's where your body changes." Kisshu answered.
"Oh."
"So you'll grow more hair-"
"On my head?" Taruto asked, pointing at his light brown hair.
"No, you already have hair on your head." Kisshu answered, losing his patience. "On your arms, back, arm pits, legs and in between your legs."
"In between my legs? Where my little dangly thing is?"
Kisshu sighed with discontent. "Hai. Where your 'little dangly thing' is. And that 'little dangly thing' will grow."
"It will?" Taruto gasped with amazement.
"Hai. And you will use this when you will be naked with Purin in bed."
"I will? What do I do with it?"
"You insert it into her." Kisshu answered.
"Insert it?" Taruto repeated, not following Kisshu's explanation.
"Hai. There will be a place where you can insert it. Where you have your 'little dangly thing' she has a cave."
"A cave?"
"Hai. But it's not actually called a cave, I'll tell you what everything is called later."
"Why not now?" Taruto whined.
"Because you'll forget." Kisshu answered impatiently.
"Okay. Continue."
"Well, you'll insert your 'little dangly thing' into Purin's 'cave' and your 'little dangly thing' will eject a clear liquid-"
"Like water?" Taruto interrupted.
"No, it's more like uh...well we'll call it 'less runny water with little tadpoles in it'."
"Why?" Taruto asked, confused.
"Because it has little tadpoles in it and isn't as runny as water." Kisshu answered with a sigh.
"Okay."
"Right, so this liquid is filled with little tadpole things right?"
"Hai."
"And these tadpoles swim to an egg which is in Purin-"
"Purin's not a chicken!" Taruto shouted with anger.
"Chicken's aren't the only ones with eggs!" Kisshu shouted back.
"Oh." Taruto said slowly, lowering his voice. "Continue."
"Right, so Purin has an egg inside of her. And one of the thousands of tadpoles you've released will swim up to her egg and join with it. Do you get what I'm saying?"
"Hai." Taruto nodded.
"Okay. And when these two join, they form into a baby. This baby takes approximately nine months to develop inside of Purin, then it is released by her cave."
"How big is her cave?" Taruto asked.
"How am I suppose to know that?!" Kisshu shouted.
"I was only asking." Taruto innocently said.
Kisshu let out a frustrated sigh. "Well, that's it."
"That's it?" Taruto repeated.
"That's how babies are made." Kisshu stated.
"Really? That sounds easy." Taruto smiled. "I thought it was more complicated than that."
"Oh it is." Kisshu muttered under his breath.
"What did you day, Kisshu?"
"Nothing." Kisshu laid back on the floor and continued to stare at the ceiling.
"Okay Kisshu, see you later. I'm gonna go find Purin and see if she wants to make a baby!"
Haha, well there it is. My attempted humor. Tell me what you thought of it. Was it good? Was it terrible? Please tell me. Leave your comments in a review. How can i improve? Constructive critism is always welcome.
Bye bye, thanks for reading. Make sure you review. (If it's bad, say why. Just saying it's crap won't help me improve in the slightest XD)
I love you all. Mwah x