we were beautiful once

.

We held onto

a sempiternal sword

.

a shadow held the hilt

smiled

knew

We could not hold on

.

but We reached unscarred fingers forward

and our virgin hands bled from the blade

.

you smiled against the pain

pretended it was a game

but i

i begged that you tighten your grip

knowing full well it wasn't

justified the sacrificial engravings in your skin with

just a little longer

just a little longer

.

but the blade grew too slick

from all your young heart had to give

and you slipped away

We slipped away

...

who was i?

for all the darkness of that time

i could not see the hands in front of my eyes

let alone determine to whom those hands belonged

.

who were you?

within one blink

you found your flesh and spirit clashed

and you somehow knew

that everything had changed

.

who were We?

...

there are times

when i recall summers We never spent

when We let the river trickle through our fingers

awed

as We touched liquid sunsets

when We ran through neck-high grasses

with sweat on our brows

and infinity in our steps

.

i close my eyes

see the stories We made in the stars

and listen to the sound

of crickets clicking to one another

and your gentle, humming harmony

.

i lace laughter into these memories lovingly

meticulously stitching every detail

in hope that i can somehow

make them historical tapestries

make what We could have been

timeless and real

.

these memories will replace us

and We can pretend

We were beautiful once

…

I will forget

dead mothers

I will forget

childish notions of saving the world

I will forget

black horses

I will forget

flights through pouring rain

.

and You

You will never know

what isolation feels like

You will never hold

a thousand lives in Your hands

You will never see

foreign blood on Your hands

You will never

be a sacrifice

.

I

will forget You

and You

will never know what We were

…

I sing these promises

with my heart thrumming the tempo

my fingers guiding the notes

and my mouth breathing life into them

.

I like to think I am breathing new life into You

.

as the notes stretch

as the fire flickers into white light

as Your eyes blend into a blue sky

I close my eyes to fantasized starlight

recalling those neversummer days

knowing

that in my sanctified illusion

We were beautiful once

knowing

that now

You

can be beautiful again