The most wasted of all days is one without laughter

SPOILER ALERT FOR SEASON 6 PREMIER

Just a little piece about Ziva's time back in Mossad after JUDGMENT DAY and prior to LAST MAN STANDING. I found the e.e. cummings quote and then saw the episode and Ziva just looked so very sad and somehow diminished in spirit in her father's office. I do not count any smiling she did while performing her sultry song…that was not Ziva but her undercover character. I loved the episode but am still very unsettled in my mind with Tony not being back. And also somewhat disappointed that we did not get to see how they parted company back in May. Perhaps we may get some flashbacks? Hope so.

I do not own NCIS or any part thereof.

A Day Without Laughter

"The most wasted of all days is one without laughter."

-- e e cummings

Ziva had last laughed when in Los Angeles riding in the red and white Mustang with Tony. It seemed a long time ago now. She had been back at Mossad for over 4 months and did not recall smiling, much less laughing, in all that time. Nothing funny at Mossad; everything the business of life and death, mostly death. Her father his usual stern self, duty and sacrifice foremost in his mind at all times. He had not even looked up from his desk when she reported to him upon her arrival. Nothing to smile about. Certainly nothing to laugh about.

Sometimes though when she was watching and waiting, the biggest part of a spy's life, her mind would wander back to her teammates at NCIS and she'd almost feel like smiling. She'd remember them one by one, treasuring the memories of each of them. They had taught her to smile with abandon and laugh with some regularity.

McGee had been the first to welcome her and how sweet his smile was and how boyish his laughter. A ready smile but his laughter was a little harder to provoke. His shy nature made laughs fewer and more precious. He would laugh out loud though when one of them got the better of Tony which did not happen often, she had to admit.

Abby - she of the beautiful eyes and boundless energy. She smiled and laughed as easily as she breathed. Abby seemed to love life and everything and everyone in it. Once they had become friends Ziva found herself more and more drawn to the dizzying life essence that was Abby. A beautiful woman outwardly but her inner beauty far outshone her physical appearance as all who knew her could attest.

The medical examiner, Ducky, an old-fashioned gentleman with an emphasis on the gentle, had also made her feel welcome at NCIS. Many times he had offered her a cup of tea and a listening ear when she needed to talk to someone; a smile present as he offered his well thought out advice along with a rambling story. She remembered the great laugh he had given when they had fallen into the creek together. Recalling his laugh almost made her smile even on the worst days since she'd returned to Israel.

And Leroy Jethro Gibbs? Gibbs and laughter did not go together. She did not believe she had ever heard him laugh and rarely seen him smile but when he did smile it only made her more aware of how rarely he did it; a ray of sunshine coming after a terrible storm. It gave one hope to see his smile. Gibbs doled them out sparingly. And she knew he deliberately chose not to laugh or smile because sometimes a laugh or a smile would bring back a painful memory. However, she loved it when he smiled. It made her see the man he might have been, the happiness that might have been his, if his life had turned out differently.

Then there was Tony, the king of smiles and the wizard of laughter. He had made her laugh more in 3 years than she had laughed in her entire life up until she'd met him. And smiling; just seeing him be his usual goofy self as he rummaged through his desk for a pastry or snuck over to McGee's desk to lay a booby trap or even get a well-deserved head slap from Gibbs made her smile. And yet he could be thoughtful and caring sometimes although he tried to hide it. He could not hide these things from her, not then and not ever. He often used his handsome face and bright smile as a tool, especially with women, but when he smiled his real smile, his true smile at her then Ziva's world became a joyful place.

She often wondered if she would ever see any of them smile again, hear their laughter. Ziva had last laughed when in Los Angeles riding in the red and white Mustang with Tony.