Title: On the Bound

Author: Littlestkitten (saratu on lj)

Fandom: Kyou Kara Maou

Series: Without You I'm Nothing arc

Pairing: Conrad/Yuuri

Rating: G

Word Count: 3,462

Summary: Wolfram and Conrad have a talk. Yuuri contemplates teaching the maids how to make curry and thinks about how to fix his relationship with Conrad.

Notes: Here's the next installment. I'm playing around with having multiple points of view in this one. Hopefully it works. I'm not quite sure how this one managed to end up so long. I just really wanted to resolve something I guess. And yet I still didn't even manage that.

To say that Yuuri was depressed was an understatement. He felt like he could now understand all of those girls who ran off crying after being rejected. He very much wanted to do that now. Maybe he could go find Gunter and they could have a synchronized crying session. Although, that would probably also mean one of those back-crushing hugs, and Yuuri wasn't quite willing to put himself through that just for some catharsis.

The worst part was that he couldn't really talk to anyone about it. Before this, his plan of action would have been simple. He would have found Conrad and they would have thrown a ball back and forth and talked. Yuuri would end up feeling better, and if they didn't have an exact solution to his problem, he would at least have a place to start. But he'd ruined that. By one ill timed slap. He still couldn't understand what had come over him. He wanted to marry Conrad, that was true, wanted to spend the rest of their lives together. And it was almost funny how something that had scared him a few months ago was now something he now wanted more than anything. But just because he knew he wanted this now, didn't mean that he needed to leap into it. Yuuri would have thought he'd learned his lesson with Wolfram. Apparently not.

And now he had no idea how he was going to fix this. Conrad was Conrad, and Yuuri knew he could trust him to not make it difficult. He knew he would always have the man's friendship and loyalty. And while that was something he was glad of, it wasn't all that he wanted. He wanted the man's love as well; he wanted more of those hot kisses that had made him almost mindless with desire. He wanted more, had wanted more from the first time they'd kissed. Yuuri may not have always applied himself to his studies, but when he wanted something he was almost single-minded in getting it. And he wanted Conrad Weller. He would just have to figure out on his own how to achieve his goal. And, if worse came to worse, he could ask Murata for help.

Wolfram was, not exactly upset, but he sure wasn't happy. He'd done the right thing, he'd been noble and self-sacrificing, he'd let his fiancé go. And what had happened? That idiotic not brother of his had gone and ruined it! Conrart had Yuuri's love, his devotion, and he'd just thrown it away.

The stupid half-breed had taken something Wolfram had worked so hard to gain and just discarded it like it wasn't even important. The fact that Yuuri was upset was unmistakable. And if someone took the time to notice they would be able to tell Conrart wasn't all that happy either. Not that he cared about that idiot, but it was stupid to do something if its only result was to make everyone involved unhappy.

Not that Wolfram couldn't understand where Conrart was coming from. He didn't know exactly what had happened but he did know what sort of adversity the two would face as a couple. But Yuuri was insistent on changing things, and as naïve as Wolfram thought that was, he also knew that it meant Yuuri wouldn't give up because a few people disagreed with his chosen lover.

So Wolfram decided to do what any proper ex-fiancé and not brother would do, he went to have a calm discussion with Conrart. After all, it was his duty as a subject and a friend to make sure that Yuuri was happy. That this would also make Conrart happy, well, that certainly wasn't his concern.

Yuuri had spent the majority of the morning musing on his problem. He still didn't know what he was going to do and now he had the extra problem of Gwendal being upset with him for not finishing his paperwork. How could they expect him to do something so trivial with his heart broken? Although maybe he should consider trying not to sound so much like a romance novel heroine.

His first thought of going to visit Murata had been discarded almost immediately. His friend was currently on Earth and Yuuri didn't have time for a trip back home. Although, his mother's curry would be very much appreciated at the moment. Nothing like comfort food and the warm atmosphere of home to sooth his worries. Maybe he could attempt to teach the maids how to make curry.

But that still wouldn't fix his main problem. He had considered just asking for them to forget about what had happened. Just go back to the beginning of their relationship when everything was more or less simple. Back to before Yuuri had started not only wanting but needing more. But this plan of action also didn't satisfy him. It made him feel like he was capitulating on something important.

He'd learned early in his career as the Maou that you couldn't have everything. Sometimes, in order to avoid unnecessary conflict, you had to be willing to give a little. Compromises were important when it came to ruling a kingdom and also important when it came to life. But he'd also learned when it wasn't a good idea to compromise, that it could make him seem weak and ineffective as a king. If he let another country have a few extra feet of land they would ask for more and eventually he wouldn't have a kingdom left.

This felt like one of those times. He didn't want to cheapen what he had with Conrad. Didn't want their relationship to be some sort of sordid affair that would be a side-note in a history book. He didn't think it was fair to either of them to do that. He loved Conrad, and as scary as that fact was, he knew it to be true. And he'd also been taught that when you loved someone, you shouldn't be ashamed of it. Love was a gift, especially if they loved you back, and it should be celebrated. Not hidden like some dirty secret. Yuuri was not ashamed of Conrad, he was not ashamed of loving him, and he would not let his soldier think otherwise.

Of course, there was always the possibility that Conrad was ashamed of him. That wasn't something Yuuri liked to consider, though, and he did his best to banish the thought from his head. But it was still possible. And he couldn't figure out a way to get around it if it was true. He was confident that he could get rid of many of the obstacles that would get in the way them being together. But if the problem was that Conrad simply didn't feel the same way about him, well, that would be harder to fix. And Yuuri really needed to finish his paperwork before Gwendal glared him to death.

The problem with having deep conversations with someone that you insisted you hated was that it was always awkward starting them. Wolfram had to fight within himself to not simply start yelling insults at Conrart. As tempting as that was, he knew it wouldn't help anything and could possibly make the situation worse. He'd been given lessons on diplomacy before, and he was pretty sure being accusatory was not a good idea. But it was hard to be neutral when he couldn't get the picture of how sad Yuuri had been this past week out of his head.

This wasn't a situation that could continue, however. Something had to be done. Everyone could tell that Yuuri was miserable and distracted, something that Gunter and Gwendal were both very upset about, although for very different reasons. Wolfram might not have always been the most selfless person in the world, but he didn't like people being unhappy. Especially not a wimp like Yuuri who wasn't good at standing up for his own happiness. The idiot found it easy enough to keep the peasants content and healthy, but when it came to himself he was woefully lacking in any sort of self-preservation.

So Wolfram had made it his goal to fix whatever problems Yuuri was having with Conrart. Even if the idea of them together still grated. Wolfram was done with being selfish. It was time he took his duty as a soldier seriously and looked out for his king's well being. He just wished Conrart wasn't so annoyingly unreadable.

The man was currently leaning against the wall across from him wearing his usual bland expression. That smile was something that always seemed to taunt Wolfram. It seemed to exist solely to draw comparisons between them. Conrart, the calm, collected soldier. Perfect in everything except for his unfortunate breeding. And then there was Wolfram. Hotheaded, temperamental and extreme. Wolfram knew that people saw him as spoiled and selfish. It was mostly true. But it didn't mean that he liked to admit the fact or liked to be compared to Conrart. Recent events especially made the idea of it rather galling to him.

Not that sitting there and inwardly fuming about the fact would change things. If he had to be second best to someone that other person better appreciate winning. Wolfram would not be beaten if the other person refused to appreciate the reward. Not that Yuuri was a prize to be won or anything.

"Conrart, I understand that you're half-human and you can't help but being idiotic because of that. But I won't allow this to continue. Yuuri's upset, you're upset (not that I care), and it's making everyone else upset."

All in all, a good start to their conversation. Usually it would be better to not insult the other person in diplomatic discussions (at least, according to Gwendal) but Wolfram didn't want Conrart to think he actually cared. No, this was purely for Yuuri's sake. And he was not happy that his concern was causing a pleased smile to bloom on Conrart's face. At least it was less annoying than his usual one.

"Now, I'm here to talk some sense into you. Since it appears you don't have any. Yuuri likes you. I'm pretty sure you like him. Generally, when two people like each other they get together. And as neither of you have any other attachments, I don't see why you're not doing this."

"It's not so simple, Wolfram," So Conrart finally decided to speak up. Wolfram knew that things wouldn't be simple between the two of them. After all, when did the wimp do anything the easy way? But Wolfram also knew that Yuuri didn't give up. The fact that he appeared to be doing so must mean that whatever their disagreement had been was probably stemming from Conrart. He may not act like a traditionalist but Wolfram knew that he was one. And he also knew that he would do anything to see the Shin Makoku that Yuuri envisioned. Even if it meant sacrificing himself in the process.

It was easy enough to guess from this information that Conrart was afraid of the political backlash that would occur if any official news of the two of them leaked out. But Conrart was underestimating the people's love of their new king. The nobles certainly wouldn't like the relationship. A few years ago it never would have been allowed. But this was not the Shin Makoku of a few years ago and it was time his brother realized it.

"I don't exactly have the time to beat the idea into you're thick head. But I think you're underestimating him. And I think you're underestimating how much the people love him. Besides, the nobles didn't like your father but they eventually got over him marrying Hahaue. They'll get over you and Yuuri being together, as well."

And with that last bit of insight Wolfram turned on his heel and left the room. He made sure to slam the door of course. No use letting Conrart think he'd forgiven him for being part human after all.

The conversation with Wolfram hadn't been quite as unbearable as Conrad had expected. They'd managed to get through the majority with no yelling or insults. At least, without any serious ones. But he almost would have preferred the shouting. Wolfram had matured in the past few years. And while it was still hard to think of his brother as an adult, it was obvious that he now was one. Wolfram had given surprisingly well thought out and convincing arguments. Especially the last one about his father.

Having them come from someone who professed such hatred for humans, and who would have railed against the very idea of the match a year ago, made the arguments even more persuasive. The most important one of them being how upset Yuuri had been lately. Conrad had noticed, he noticed almost everything about the young king, and it had pulled at his heart most cruelly. If there was one thing he couldn't bear, it was an upset Yuuri.

Keeping his distance had been almost unbearable. But he knew that it needed to be done in order to help both of them heal. Yuuri needed time to think about what had happened and to decide what he wanted to do about his relationship with Conrad. And Conrad would accept any decision he made. Not only was it his duty as a subject, but he felt that he'd given up his right to further have any say after his almost cruel dismissal of Yuuri's feelings.

And he did realize now that he hadn't handled the conversation particularly well. Yuuri had deserved more than that. Deserved more in general. The courage it must have taken to do that, and he'd just danced around the subject, pretended not to understand the true meaning of the gesture like a coward. He'd wanted to spare Yuuri the heartache and embarrassment of rejection but he admitted now that he'd gone about it the wrong way. He was only glad that it hadn't been a public proposal. Of course, if Yuuri had asked him publicly he would have had to say yes. And if Yuuri commanded it of him he would marry him with no argument. It was the King's right to have as a spouse anyone he would choose.

Not that Yuuri would ever demand that of anyone. The boy was too gentle hearted; too sensitive to others wants and needs to ever force something like marriage. It would be so much simpler if he would do something like that. The practice of taking lovers or consorts was not unheard of in Shin Makoku. It was the Maou's prerogative to be with whomever they chose. It was not exactly the position Conrad would have chosen for himself, but it was a compromise that would allow them to be together. And Conrad was willing to do almost anything to be with the gentle boy who had so easily stolen his heart.

If he was honest with himself, however, he knew that he didn't want that. He loved Yuuri, had loved him it seemed for forever. If things had been different he would have wanted nothing more than to marry Yuuri and live happily with him for the rest of their lives. He didn't think he would be able to share Yuuri with anyone, either. The idea of his king being married made his heart hurt in ways he hadn't felt since Julia.

And he also knew that Yuuri would never enter into a relationship like that. It would probably feel too sordid to him. Affairs were not uncommon among the nobility but somehow Conrad couldn't imagine Yuuri having one. No, whoever had the privilege of marrying the Maou would be the only one to receive his affections. Yuuri was not the type of person to cheat, no matter what Wolfram was wont to suggest.

Either way, this needed to be resolved. They could not go on the way they had been. Yuuri was miserable and if Conrad was honest, he was miserable as well. There was no point in them being unhappy. They would have to talk. No matter how uncomfortable it might end up being. Conrad would not let his king suffer as he obviously had been. Conrad had made a promise to always be there for Yuuri, and he was not following through on it. At the very least he wanted their friendship to be mended. And if he was even more honest with himself, he hoped they could figure out some sort of compromise that would allow a relationship between them to work.

Conrad sighed and steeled himself for what he needed to do. There was no putting this off. He needed to at least start the process tonight before he lost his nerve. Yuuri would most likely still be up reading and if not, then at least he would feel better for having tried.

Yuuri's heart pounded in his chest at the sound of knocking at his door. Very few people would dare to disturb him this late at night and he was hoping it would be his wayward knight. He had spent too much of the day trying to get up the nerve to seek Conrad out only to lose his resolve at the last moment. It would make things easier if the soldier was indeed coming to see him.

Even though he had spent the majority of the day puzzling over what to do and say should he see Conrad, he still didn't feel ready to face the man. He wanted so badly to just make everything go away and agree to whatever Conrad wanted in order for them to be together again. But he also didn't know if he could handle keeping this a secret. Not when he wanted to let everyone know how much in love he was. He knew it was cliché to want to shout his love from a tower but he'd been considering doing just that.

Yuuri took a deep breath and set his book aside before calling out to whoever it was to enter. He turned his face toward his window, not feeling able to face the person. But he still knew who it was. It was sort of sad, he reflected, that he could tell Conrad apart from others just by the way his footsteps sounded. He could feel his body stiffen as the man drew close to him. He did and didn't want to have the conversation he knew would follow. He'd already had his heart broken once in the past week; he didn't need it to happen again.

"Heika," Yuuri frowned at the use of his title. Their little game had always been fun if sometimes a little annoying. It had been a slice of normal life in times when everything seemed to be swinging out of control. Now, however, it was just a reminder of how broken their relationship was.

Conrad had paused and seemed to be waiting for a response but Yuuri was not willing to give one. He didn't mean to be a brat, or to sulk; he just couldn't bring himself to talk. Especially when he wasn't sure he wouldn't just start sobbing the instant he opened his mouth. Or beg Conrad to take him back under whatever conditions he wanted to make.

The silence stretched between them and for once Conrad seemed to be effected by it. Yuuri couldn't count the times they'd been just like this, content to just be with each other and not talk. But things were different now; an invisible chasm had sprung up between them and caused them to be oddly uncomfortable with each other.

While Yuuri couldn't bring himself to speak he also didn't want to let Conrad think he was too displeased with him. Hurt, yes, but not angry. Yuuri understood why Conrad had refused him, he didn't agree with it or like it, but he understood it. Slowly he brought one hand up to touch the tense soldier standing behind him. He heard Conrad take in a startled breath at the unexpected touch. He turned around and turned the gentle caress into a hug. His own breath caught as Conrad finished the embrace by bringing his hands up to clutch at Yuuri almost harshly.

They stood wrapped up in each other for a long moment before making their way to the bed and relenting to sleep. Nothing had been talked of and there were still many problems to discuss. But for now they were both too weak and sorrowful to stay away for any longer. Reality would intrude tomorrow, but for now they were just content to be together.