Characters: Edward/Bella, the other usual ones
Rating: R, for sex
Category: Romance, AU, AH
Spoilers: None
Summary: Bella Swan used to have innocence. She grew up, though, and lost it somewhere along the way.

A/N:
If anyone's interested, I always post my fanfictions to livejournal first: breakatmo.
A couple of warnings: This contains graphic(ish) sex, so please do not read if you are underage. Seriously don't. It freaks me out. Also, if you can't deal with character death, skip #11. It's not meant to be a sad, though, so I think you should chance it. There's also some Bella/Jacob in there. Oh, and let's throw in some Emmett/Bella and Jasper/Bella, too rolls eyes I don't know why I did it.
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be.

The History of Sex (and Other Things Related to Sex) with Isabella Swan

1.

At the age of nine, in third grade, Bella Swan gets bet a quarter and a lollipop by Jessica Stanley that she can't kiss Mike Newton, the most popular boy in class, on the lips.

She puts her hands on her hips and sticks her chin up in the air, letting out a stubborn, "Humph." Even at this age she hates to be told what she can and can't do.

So, with determination she stalks up to the playground and stares up at Mike Newton, who's sitting on top of the monkey bars singing I'm the King of the Castle and, pointing at his friends on the ground, you're the dirty rascals. She climbs up the pole at the end and slides very, very carefully over to join him. Then, without a word, she grabs his shoulders to hold him still (and maybe steady herself too), and presses her lips up against his.

When she pulls away less than a second later, his eyes are wide and he can't hide the smile on his face. His friends giggle and Jessica stares open mouthed as he begins to chant again with more vigour. Her ears and her cheeks burn with embarrassment, but the look on her face is one of smugness. When she slides down from the bars she lands on the ground in a heap with a resounding thump. Even that doesn't deter her, though – she still manages to dust herself off and swagger confidently back to Jessica to hold out her hand for a well-deserved prize.

A whole week passes before Jessica Stanley agrees to be friends again.

2.

At the age of eleven years, ten months and twenty-seven days, Bella Swan gets asked out for the first time. She also becomes a girlfriend for the first time on that day.

It's the first day of school, and Benjamin Darrigen is in her class. He's already sitting in homeroom with his friends when she walks in with Angela Weber. He glances up, looks away, glances up, looks away and finally turns to look her in the eye, all in the space of a second.

With the romantic style characteristic of such boys his age he calls out to her, "Hey, Ella, be my girlfriend," while the other boys begin to recite Ben and Ella, sitting in a tree and Angela Weber's jaw drops at the fact that none of them know her actual name.

Later, at the age of eleven years, eleven months and three days, Bella dumps a boy for the first time.

The reason she plans to give is blunt: she doesn't like him. Angela Weber advises her to make up another reason, but even at the age of eleven, Bella feels the need to be honest. Benjamin takes it surprisingly well, and Bella suspects that he didn't like her all that much either. He seems more disappointed at the loss of a pretty girlfriend than at the loss of Bella Swan.

All things considered, Ben Darrigen had been a good first boyfriend. He'd bought her two bags of mixed lollies, carried her books to every class and, generally, treated her well for the entire seven days of their deep, meaningful relationship.

3.

At the age of sixteen, Bella Swan learns how to kiss – really kiss.

Emmett McCarty works in a small ice-creamery with Bella, and their shifts coincide often. He's a nice boy; though a year older they get along well.

He makes no effort to hide his attraction to Bella, but then again neither does she. He's Emmett McCarty, though. Good-looking and charming, he can't count the girls he's been with on all his fingers and toes. So she quells any potentially starry-eyed emotions and instead uses him to polish her flirting skills, which certainly need polishing.

It's uncharacteristic of Bella to be so bold, but the bickering between her parents has her trying new things. It grew exponentially; a divorce would be a relief, and long overdue – the constant tension between the two makes them all miserable. Bella just wants to have fun. And so she flirts. When she performs well Emmett's eyes twinkle with mirth, and when she performs exceptionally, which is not often, his tongue pokes out and licks his smiling lips.

The store manager asks them one night, during summer break, to clean up and close up. They had both worked there long enough to be trusted fully, and he has "urgent business elsewhere."

Bella waves her hand dismissively and, with her tongue in her cheek, tells him "we can handle it. Don't keep your date waiting, Steve, it's rude." The way his blush spreads all the way to his neck is endearing.

Emmett grabs the broom hanging on the wall behind the counter and begins sweeping, all the while trying to suppress the laughs bubbling up. He only lets them out when the store door slams shut. Smiling at him, Bella grabs a cloth to wipe down the few tables in the store.

"You know Bella, it's not like you have an outstandingly long list of former lovers," he tells her, once his laughing has died down.

She spins around to face him, placing a hand on her chest and feigning a hurt expression, "You shouldn't compare us normal people to yourself, Emmett. Some of us are looking for more than a long progression of short flings."

He grins as the lesson starts, then quickly rearranges his face into a smirk, "Oh, and you're one of these normal people?"

Putting the cloth down on the table she walks up to him, "Indeed I am."

He looks down at her, "You're not interested in having even a little bit of fun, Bella? As your mentor, I have to say that that disappoints me."

"I might be," she says slowly, planning her next move carefully, "but if I'm going to engage in such crude behaviour, the boy needs to meet a certain set of criteria."

"Oh?" His eyebrows shoot up.

"Oh, of course. He needs to be fairly good-looking, and taller than me, very important," She bites her bottom lip and glances down at her shoes before looking back up at him through half-closed eyes, "He has to know how to please a girl. Oh, and most importantly," She casts a fleeting look out the windows of the store at his car, and then turns her gaze back up at him. Licking her lips slowly and deliberately from right to left, she presses herself flush against him, "he absolutely has to drive a hotshot, red jeep."

He's not smiling anymore. His eyes flicker around, as though he's trying to decide on a course of action, and it confuses her. Bella has never seen Emmett McCarty hesitate at anything before. His tongue pokes out to wet his lips and she smiles triumphantly.

But then fingertips brush her cheek and he leans down, tilting his head to let their lips meet.

She blushes a deep red, but quickly gets over her initial surprise to return the kiss, partly because she's curious; and partly because she's never found anyone who arouses anything more than the mild feelings he stirs in her; and partly because it's Emmett McCarty, ladies man extraordinaire.

It starts off gentle, like all first kisses should. Just lips sweeping across each other, and he lets her go on for as long as she likes. When she tries to deepen the kiss, threading her fingers through his hair and resting her other hand on his neck, he lets her do that, too. Opening his mouth just slightly and running his tongue lightly across her top lip, he tries to teach her to take it slow. She's a fast learner, and it's some time before it turns into a flat out exploration of each others' mouth.

When she moves her hands, though, from his neck to the waistband of his pants, and inches her fingers under the hem of his shirt, he pulls back. He grabs her wrists and pushes her hands back down to her sides.

Chuckling, he murmurs, "You're not as old as you think you are," And it makes her pout.

They repeat the same routine every time they find themselves alone together. It seems as though, over time, Bella just grows more and more proficient at making him push aside his hesitations with unabashed flirting. She's always eager to take things further, but he continues to disappoint her.

Bella only realises years later that Emmett held back to save some small portion of her innocence, because he had long since thrown away his. She's grateful for that.

He'd been right. At sixteen, she was naïve, and much too eager to become an adult.

4.

At the age of sixteen years and eleven months, at the beginning of junior year, Bella Swan develops a crush on Jasper Whitlock that lasts all of one and a half days.

He's new in town, and though not as handsome as Emmett McCarty, he's definitely something to look at. He's the adoptive son of the famous Doctor Carlisle Cullen, whose reputation as an accomplished neurosurgeon had preceded him in Forks. The fact only serves to add to his mysterious aura. Jasper's brother, biological son of Doctor Cullen, is absolutely breathtaking. Edward Cullen is a year older than her – eighteen. With his seemingly perfect features and stunningly green eyes, he gives her the impression of being untouchable. Bella has never seen someone better looking than Emmett.

Bella and Alice Brandon, long time distant friends, become closer that first day in Spanish class. They bond over their mutual fascination with the enigmatic Jasper Whitlock. On the second day, a second after the lunch bell chimes, Alice takes Bella's hand and runs out of the classroom, dragging her to some unknown destination.

"Where--, no," Bella starts, "What are you doing?" She's trying desperately not to fall over, and Alice isn't making it any easier.

"Beating the crowds!" she calls over her shoulder.

Bella groans. The crowds, she assumes, refers to the other juniors eager to meet Jasper. Not entirely unlike them. In the monotonous town of Forks, a new student is one of the most exciting things to ever happen. "But do we have to run?"

A one minute sprint later, Alice spots him leaning against his locker, talking to his brother. She skips – or dances – over, still dragging Bella behind her, and comes to a sudden stop in front of him. Her graceful entrance is somewhat marred by the crash of Bella running into the lockers. Needless to say, Jasper Whitlock and Edward Cullen are sufficiently startled by their painfully conspicuous appearance.

"Hi. I'm Alice," she says, holding up her hand and waving. Her breathing is steady, a tribute to the limitless amount of energy she has. She acts like her entrance is routine, which it might be, for Alice.

"J-Jasper," He holds his hand up in a hesitant wave and the bewilderment he feels is clearly evident on his face.

His brother grins at him before introducing himself, "Edward. It's nice to meet you."

"I'm… Bella," she adds, panting. With her hands on her knees and her head facing the floor she misses the second, third and fourth glances that Edward directs at her. "Alice, do you remember how we talked about pretending to be normal in public?"

She looks up when nobody replies. Jasper and Alice are still frozen in the same position as before, though Jasper's bewildered expression has been traded for an absent-minded grin. It's that moment in which Bella decides to renounce her crush on the new kid; Alice Brandon seems to have already stolen his heart. She trades a look with Edward, who smirks before his light laughter fills the air. The illusion that she herself had created of Edward as unapproachable is torn down in an instant.

She joins him, putting her hand over her mouth to stifle the giggles somewhat, and despite strange beginnings, the four of them are soon inseparable.

5.

At the age of seventeen years and sixteen days, Bella Swan meets Jacob Black.

He's younger than her, but she finds herself irrefutably drawn to his boyish charm and good looks. He's eager to please, too, constantly smiling and flirting inexpertly with her. It isn't long before he asks her out, confidence just oozing off of him.

She smiles at him, and tells him, "Sure," And Jacob's eyes light up, like she's just made his day.

"Great!" He beams at her, and spends the rest of the day making plans for their date.

She tells Alice the next day, "I think I might have a boyfriend."

Alice's head snaps up to look at her and she starts bouncing on her heels excitedly, "Oh, oh, who is it? But I bet I can guess!" The smile on her face just continues to grow as Bella stares at her in amusement.

"You haven't met him though…"

"What?" She stops bouncing and her brow wrinkles in confusion, "But… then who is it?"

"His name's Jacob Black. He's in the year below us and…" Bella trails off when she catches the look on Alice's face. It's one of disappointment, "Um, what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," she says, forcing the smile back into her lips, "Do you like him?"

"Yeah," Bella grins at her, "a lot. We get along well."

"Then I'm happy for you," And the smile on her face is no longer forced.

6.

At the age of seventeen years and seven months, Bella Swan leaves her virginity behind her.

She's at Jacob's house, sitting on the floor of his room with her legs propped up on his bed as she reads a book. He's sitting at this desk, doing some exceptionally last minute work on a project he was meant to hand in yesterday, when he turns around abruptly to face her.

"Bella," he says, his gaze fixed on her face. She hums but doesn't look up, fiddling instead with the pages of her book. Louder, impatiently and more insistent this time, "Bella!"

She finally looks up, sticking a finger in between the pages and twisting slightly to face him, "Yeah, Jacob?"

"I love you."

It takes her completely by surprise and she loses her spot in the book when she drops it. Her stomach twists slightly; she's unsure of how to reply. With the truth. "Jacob… I think I love you too."

He half smiles at her in amusement, "Only think?"

She doesn't reply immediately; she hasn't thought about this before, and it's difficult for her to gather her feelings into one spot scrutinise in such a short moment. The smile slips off his face when she remains silent and he turns back to the desk. Though he picks up a pen, he doesn't move it across the paper.

Bella has no idea what love is. The only thing she knows for sure is that right now, in this moment, she's closer to being in love than she's ever been before. So instead, she asks herself one question. Would she spend the rest of her life with Jacob? There's one, brief flicker of hesitation when a face that's not Jacob's flashes through her mind. But it can be ignored, for now, at least. The answer is yes.

"I…" He turns around hopefully when she starts, "I love you, too."

Even if he wanted to, he wouldn't be able to stop the glee he feels at her words from spreading across his features. He pushes himself out of his chair and joins her on the floor. "Bella," he breathes in her ear, "Dad's gone out fishing," And she knows exactly what he means, what he wants to do.

Their first attempt at lovemaking is rushed and clumsy – mainly Bella's fault. He does try, really, to please her, kissing her neck and her face, caressing her with his hands. Nevertheless they're both inexperienced, and their expectations are far too high to be lived up to. She cries out when he enters her, and then it's over much too soon, long before Bella can get over the initial pain to reach pleasure.

She's satisfied with what they've accomplished, though, as she lays on his bed a short time later trying to catch her breath; he is too. They're both pleased with themselves, but only because they haven't yet realised that it gets much, much better.

7.

At the age of eighteen years, three months and eighteen days, Bella Swan attends a New Year's Eve party held at the Cullen residence. The house is unreasonably huge; it's standard to hold any and all gatherings there.

She invites Jacob, of course, because who else would she kiss at midnight? Emmett's there, too, with his girlfriend. Though she seems slightly superficial, she's perfectly matched to him. Rosalie Hale is by far the most beautiful person Bella has ever seen, and it's not surprising in the least that it's her who has Emmett wrapped around her pinkie finger.

Bella spends most of the night in Jacob's arms, sitting amongst their laughing friends. They crack jokes and tease each other and make New Year resolutions. At three minutes to midnight, Bella whispers in Jacob's ear. She takes his hand and they run upstairs to Edward's room – the only bedroom with a window facing where the fireworks will light the night sky.

She walks over to the window, staring out into the darkness. Jacob walks over and wraps his arms around her, and they stand like that for a while before they hear the rest of the family downstairs, counting down.

"Six, five, four…"

She turns around and wraps her arms around his neck, smiling cheekily up at him.

"Three, two, one!"

She leans up and kisses him, and he responds eagerly as the fireworks explode behind her. They crackle and fizz and their friends downstairs can be heard shouting best wishes at each other, but in this room, right now, neither Jacob nor Bella speak. Instead, she breaks away to place one lingering kiss to his neck, and to eye the bed meaningfully, sparing only a passing thought to the fact that it's neither of their bedrooms.

He catches on immediately, and, grinning, walks backwards to sit in the middle of the bed, pulling his shirt over his head as he goes. Bella follows him, kneeling on the bed in front of him and taking off her own shirt before making quick work of the button and zip of his jeans; by now she's sure of her own movements. She pulls them off, tugging them down his hips, and stares at him, never quite used to how impressive he is. He doesn't give her long to gawp, reaching out and concentrating on undoing the clasp of her bra.

She lets the cotton slip away and he reaches out to brush her hair away from her face, murmuring in her ear, "You're beautiful."

She giggles and sticks her tongue between her teeth, asking "Even more so than Rosalie?"

"One hundred times more beautiful," he replies, whole-heartedly.

His fingers slip beneath the waistband of her jeans; it makes her gasp but she doesn't stop him. She lets him because she wants to continue, and because she loves him.

The door slams open with a bang, "HAPPY NE--," She and Jacob both jump at the intrusion.

She turns her head to the door, where Emmett and Edward stare at them in shocked silence. Emmett's got a colourful cone hat on his head and his arms are frozen in the air as the party blower falls from his mouth – it would have made her laugh, if she wasn't half naked. It takes Edward a while to process the image in front of him. Bella, topless, Jacob, naked, hands on her skin and lips near her neck.

The sight throws him into a rage; red-hot fury blinds him. His blood thunders through his veins, sounding so loud in his ears he can barely hear their protests. A strangled growl escapes his throat as he makes his way to the bed in two long strides. Before he can stop himself he's got one hand around Jacob's throat, pushing him up against the headboard, and the other fisted at his side. Bella hurriedly scrambles off the bed, taking the sheets with her.

"What--," Jacob only manages to get out a word before Edward tightens his hand around his throat.

"In my house. In my bedroom," he snarls. He'd say more but he can barely speak through the anger that makes every one of his muscles tense up. So instead, he draws back his fisted hand, planning to get his point through with brute force, if not with words.

The thing that stops him is in all probability the only thing that could have in that instant. Bella lets out a nervous giggle, and the noise is so misplaced, sounds so unfamiliar in a moment of heat and jealousy and uncontrollable madness. It brings him back from the brink of his vicious intents; it calms him, just slightly.

She giggles again, and both heads snap around to stare at her. She's on the floor, nakedness wrapped in bed sheets, stifling her laughs with one hand and pointing at the door with the other. Alice has joined Emmett standing there, their mouths open in shock, and suddenly Edward's very conscious of his own body hovering over an incontrovertibly naked Jacob.

He climbs off the bed, takes a deep breath, and tries to make himself to laugh with Bella and, now, Alice and Emmett. The most he can manage, though, is to force the anger off his face and replace it with a look of neutrality. So instead, he sweeps out of the room to the backyard, where he lies down to watch the rest of the fireworks with unseeing eyes.

Later on, after he's changed his sheets and calmed down, he tries to pass the act off as one born of brotherly protection. As it turns out, the only person who believes him is Bella.

8.

At the age of eighteen years and six months, Bella Swan and her friends, in a fit of nostalgia, decide to play hide 'n' seek tag in the woods during a sleepover at the Cullen house. In the pouring rain.

It's Emmett's suggestion – this kind of stuff is always his idea. Sitting on the couch, one arm around Rosalie and the other pointing the remote at the television, he looks up at the others abruptly yelling, "Let's play tag!"

Bella's complaints of "but it's raining" go unnoticed under the unreasonably enthusiastic exclamations of the others.

Even pouting at Jacob doesn't work to keep him inside with her. "The trees will keep us dry," he says smiling at her and ruffling her hair before Alice drags her outside.

After a lengthy discussion (in which Jasper points at Rosalie and says "You're it!"), they scatter into the woods, while Rosalie covers her eyes and begins counting down loudly from fifty. Bella, unlike the others, walks away at a moderate pace, lifting her feet cautiously to avoid tripping and muttering under her breath about lies and the innumerable droplets of water falling through the pathetic shelter of the leaves and onto her.

She tries to keep silent, to avoid being found by Rosalie – if she gets tagged, she'll have to run and that never ends well. There's no quieting the squeal that escapes her lips, though, as a pair of arms – one behind her back and the other under her knees – lift her off the ground.

"Edward!" she whispers, "What are you doing?" She tries to make herself sound angry but he just chuckles at her as he runs her further into the woods.

He finally sets her down next to one of the larger trees, "Helping out the underdog," he teases, "you move so slowly, you're an easy target for Rose."

She'd open her mouth to respond if she wasn't so unexpectedly hyperaware of his presence in front of her. His hands rest on the tree trunk above either of her shoulders, and his movements to try and spot Rosalie only bring him closer to her.

Her breathing becomes laboured, her hands itch to wrap themselves around him and she inwardly curses her own body for reacting this way to anyone other than Jacob; her boyfriend Jacob. She doesn't have long to dwell on that thought, though, because Edward isn't far behind on realising their proximity.

He glances at her and purses his lips, forcing himself to look away. It's not the first time he's let his feelings for her slip through his solid façade, but it's the first time she's noticed. He looks back at her, eyes wide, when she breathes his name. He swallows and half closes his eyes as he hesitantly drops his hand – his right hand, Bella dazedly notes – lightly to her shoulder. Her breath hitches as he runs it slowly across her shoulder, her neck, and uses it to tip her head upwards. She can't deny the shiver that starts at her toes and runs up her spine, because quite suddenly she's privy to all the secrets he's been keeping from her. He wants her, and God, she wants him too.

As she stares into his eyes, mutual consent passes between them. They both want this, they both know the consequences, and they both hope against hope that they're making the right decision.

She puts her hands on his hips and his eyes fall closed as she drags them up over his shirt to rest on his chest. She leans upwards and presses her lips to his neck, then his cheek, and finally, his lips. The contact makes her heart jump up to her throat, and she allows herself to briefly revel in the feeling of his heart racing under her fingertips. It's confirmation that she's not the only eager one, and it makes her want more.

He lowers his hand from her chin to the small of her back, pressing her closer to him, and the heat of his body against her stomach, her breasts, makes her skin tingle. When he parts his lips slightly, she rises to the invitation eagerly, thrusting her tongue into his mouth to find his. He tastes like absolutely nothing, but she can smell the sweet scent that she's never been able to identify as anything else but Edward. She sighs as he runs his tongue over hers, and he walks her back, laughing into her mouth when she stumbles slightly. The laughing turns into a husky sigh rather abruptly, though, when she nips his bottom lip in retaliation. She's pressed up against the tree now, and Edward takes his hand away from her back to slip under the fabric of her shirt, to brush against the skin underneath.

"Stop running, Jacob!" Rosalie's shrill exclamation snaps them out of their flash of desire, and they break apart with an agonisingly loud squelch, glancing furtively around.

Jacob, she thinks. We shouldn't be doing this, Bella wants to tell him. She wants to say, I have a boyfriend, who I love. But she can't form the words.

All she manages to breathe out is, "Not now."

--

He's lying on his bed, motionless, staring at the ceiling, wondering if 'not now' means 'we'll continue this later'or if it just means 'not ever',when she walks in. It's dark outside and he hasn't turned on the lights. When he lifts his head to look at her, though, he knows it's Bella from the way she walks, the curve of her hips. He's watched her long enough to know how she holds herself.

"Bella," he says, letting his head fall back onto his pillow, "what's up?" like they hadn't been canoodling in the woods an hour ago.

She turns on the light and the sudden brightness blinds him momentarily, "Nothing, I just wanted to… talk." Her cheeks are flushed a bright red, and her hands are trembling as she closes and locks the door.

"Oh," He sits up now, propping himself up on his elbows, his eyes shining with the anticipation he feels, "where's Jacob?"

She walks over to stand in front of him at the foot of his bed, "He's in the shower. Getting the mud off… you know." She gestures vaguely outside, where it's still relentlessly raining. Edward draws back at this – the bathroom is only two doors down, and listening for it now he hears the water running through the pipes. "So, this afternoon, in the woods…"

"Yeah," He's wondering if maybe he read her wrong now, maybe she really did just want to talk.

"Yeah," she repeats. Without warning, she climbs up onto the bed, crawling over and positioning her knees on either side of his torso. She lowers her voice to a whisper, and says it again, "yeah," She's far too shy to proposition him out loud.

The breath leaves his lungs, as though he's been winded, when she crosses her arms, grabs the hem of her shirt, and pulls it over her head. And that's when he loses all of the control he spent more than one and a half years building. His lips crash into hers in a rush of lust and passion and fervent, absolute, undying adoration. His arms wrap around her, bringing her closer, closer, she could never be close enough.

He knows he should ask her if this is really what she wants; if she's sure that they should do this; and what about Jacob. But he can't bring himself to say it, because if he does there's a chance she'll up and say you're right, let's stop, and he's utterly terrified of what the rejection will do to him.

He trails his hands over her warm skin, up and down her back and round her front, making patterns and enjoying the jolts he feels run up his arms at the feel of her. Hooking one finger under the clasp of her bra, he unclips it and pulls it away, throwing it over her shoulder and using his other hand to roughly squeeze her breast at the same time. It makes her gasp, and he takes the chance to deepen their kiss, to slip his tongue into her mouth. She grinds her hips against his, there's no stopping the groan that escapes him.

His pulse is back to hammering now, and with his hands on her chest he can feel hers, too, almost hear it through the thrumming of his own. She gets up, off the bed and for one heart stopping moment he thinks she's going to leave. When he opens his eyes, though, he's greeted with the sight of her shimmying out of her pants, and then her underwear. Following her lead he struggles to get his own jeans off while still sitting down. She laughs at him, and when he looks up he can't help but stare at the sight of her naked body, at what he's wanted for so long, at what he thought he'd never have. It's clear to her at this point that he's ready and raring to go. He feels his stomach twist itself into knots and his mouth go dry when she licks her lips, eyeing him.

He pulls her back down on top of him, his eyes dark with desire as he tilts his head to meet her breasts. Dropping a hand down between them he thrusts two fingers into her. The moan that falls from her lips is music to his ears, but he reaches up quickly with the other hand to stifle it, all the while keeping up a steady rhythm with his fingers.

Her hot little hands soon find him and his breath hitches in response. She strokes him firmly, from tip to base, once, twice, and he tries to steady his breathing, to keep the groans in. Then she grabs his wrist and pulls his fingers out of her. Placing her hands on his chest she pushes him back onto the bed and positions herself over him. She grabs him with both hands and uses him to rub her clit, before sinking down. They both freeze once he's all the way inside. Her head's thrown back, eyes closed as she marvels at the feel of him, and he watches her through half-closed eyes, thinking dimly, this is heaven.

She opens her eyes, then, and slips her hands under his shirt. Closer than she's ever been to him before, she wonders how she failed to notice in the past just how toned was – is. The way his muscles tense as she runs her fingers over them only makes her want him more. She leans against his chest and clenches down on him, then. He gasps and his hips buck upwards, but she pushes him down, telling him to stay still. She starts moving at a slow pace. An agonisingly slow pace. Edward wonders if she's trying to torture him. He clutches at her thighs, urging her to go faster, but she only smiles and hums in response. Narrowing his eyes at her he thinks she is trying to torture me.

He slides one hand from her thigh to her back and places the other behind him. In one short, skilled movement he flips them over, making Bella squeal. He claps his right hand over her mouth and they both freeze again, this time listening for movement in the house. No running footsteps, no confused exclamations… satisfied, he starts to move inside of her, keeping his hand firmly over her mouth. Pulling out almost fully before pounding back in relentlessly, he's neither gentle nor slow, and she doesn't object. Her legs reach up to wrap around his waist, and she squeezes with his every thrust. His other hand moves down again to her clit, grazing over it with his thumb, and she near screams against his hand. Making sure to leave a small gap between his fingers for her to breathe through, he clamps his hand down harder. He continues to tease her; it makes her whimper and breathe his name again his hand:

"Edward."

His name coming from her sweat soaked body in a sexed up state reverberates through his body, it nearly sends him over the edge, and he has to work yet again to control his breathing, to retain what little power he has over his body left. Despite his efforts, his breathing becomes ragged, and his thrusts lost their steady rhythm, becoming more and more uneven.

She arches up into him, her eyes rolling back before she stops breathing altogether, tossing her head from side to side and clutching the sheets with her tiny hands. Her toes curl in pleasure, and he feels her tighten around him; he has to lean down and bury his face in her shoulder to keep from moaning. Clench, unclench, clench, unclench. He bites down on the skin of her shoulder and squeezes his eyes shut. She tastes like salt – sweat, and he loves that he's the one who did this to her. Finally, finally he allows himself to reach release and with one final push he spends himself inside of her.

He collapses on top of her, letting out a shuddering breath, his hand fall away from her mouth. They're both breathing heavily, and his head rises and falls with her chest.

Eventually, she moves her hands to his arms and tries to shift him, "You're heavy, Edward," she tells him.

He laughs and rolls off of her onto his back. Turning to look at her he laughs again. Her eyes are drifting shut, "Of course you're the type who falls asleep after sex." She just hums and smiles as he trails a hand up and down the skin on her stomach. "Sorry about that," he adds, fingers brushing over the red marks on her shoulder, but she shrugs and shakes her head slightly. He allows himself to revel in the peaceful aftermath for some time before her asks her, "What are you going to do now? About Jacob…"

His name makes her eyes snap open. They widen as realisation hits her, and the smile slips off her face, "Right… Jacob."

Edward sighs as he gets up, off the bed. Walking over to his drawers he grabs a towel. He throws it to her and collapses back on the bed on his stomach, all the while keeping his face carefully pointing in the other direction. She doesn't need to see what he's feeling now. He pulls the sheets over himself, strangely shy after all the fondling. "Tell them you came up to use my shower." A smile spreads across his face in spite of the less than perfect circumstances they find themselves in, "you smell like…" sex with me, "they'll, uh… they'll be able to tell."

She doesn't speak, but he feels the bed move as she gets up and he hears the rustle of her picking up her clothes. When the water starts, he rolls over onto his back and closes his eyes to relive the past moments, willing himself to forget that a certain Jacob even exists.

At the very least, the marks he'd left on Bella's shoulder would stop them from having sex for a while.

9.

At the age of eighteen years and eight months, Bella Swan gets caught cheating on her boyfriend of nineteen and a half months.­­

Her affair has grown, reshaped itself over time, until, quite suddenly to Bella, it's not just lust and physical attraction and sex anymore. More and more often, she finds herself yearning to simply lie next to him, maybe fall asleep with his arm draped over her. And then, so gradually that she doesn't notice until the very end, the answer to that dreaded question, 'would you spend the rest of your life with him?' is a fervent 'yes, with Edward'.

It's Alice who catches them; of course, the girl seems to always be in the know. She slams open the door to Edward's bedroom, the one time they forget to lock it, to find Bella underneath him. With her legs in the air, her fingers digging into his back and her name being dropped in a breathy moan from his lips, they're hard pressed to pass it off as anything else but sex.

Everything's a rush, then, as they leap away from each other and struggle to get their clothes back on while Alice yells out, "Jasper!" in a panicked voice.

Of course, Bella gets ungracefully stuck in her sweater, trying in vain to pull her head through the arm. She still doesn't have it on when Jasper appears in the doorway, "Is that you, Bella?" he asks, confused, and she yelps at the sound of his voice, "When did you… what's going on?" He can feel the tension in the room – anybody would be able to.

"You talk to Edward," Alice snaps as she grabs Bella's arm and leads her towards the doorway. She takes her to Jasper's bedroom, and the door clicks shut.

"Alice, help," she calls in a random direction through the fabric of her sweater. She hears an annoyed huff before the offending garment is yanked off her head.

Thankfully, Alice doesn't look as mad as she sounds. In fact, she keeps her face carefully neutral as she walks over to Jasper's bed and flops back onto it. Bella follows her after pulling her sweater on, more carefully this time.

It's some time before Alice finally breaks the silence, "You know, I always wanted you and Edward to end up together," she rolls over onto her side to stare at Bella. "But you told me you loved Jacob."

Bella sighs. She knew she'd have to face the ramifications soon enough. "I do love Jacob. Really," she adds when Alice raises her eyebrows, "But when I'm with Edward…" She breaks off with a groan and flips over to say the rest into the pillow, "it's like I don't even have a choice. I can't think properly when I'm around him. You must think I'm awful."

"No!" A pause, "Well, a little stupid. But I'm always on your side, Bella," She reaches out to place her hand on Bella's shoulder, "This might be a bit blunt…" She hesitates before continuing, "You need to break a heart, some day soon. Make it today."

Bella grabs the other pillow and holds it over her head. Her reply comes out muffled but Alice doesn't miss the break in her voice, "Yeah."

--

It's a messy break-up; at the age of almost nineteen Bella Swan still feels the need to stay honest. And with everything she's been lying about in the past two months, Jacob really does deserve honesty. So she tells him to whole truth, and he explodes, uncontrollably angry and rightfully so. He waves his arms and shouts accusations at her (most of which are true) while she cries and tells him she's sorry, she's sorry. Finally it's quiet, and she whispers one last apology before running out the door. He collapses on the couch when the front door slams and buries his head in his hands, because as young as they are he loves her, and he knows she still loves him. The only problem is that she feels more for Edward.

Bella spends the night in Edward's room, after telling her father she's sleeping over at Alice's. She sneaks softly up the stairs to avoid Esme and Carlisle, this time with the help of Jasper, who only agrees to be her partner in crime when she promises there won't be any sex that night. The promise is kept, too, and she finds it as comforting as always to sleep next to Edward. She is, for the most part, serene, bothered only when she remembers Jacob, wondering how one person can feel so utterly heartbroken and so overwhelmingly elated at the same time.

She knows though, lying in Edward's arms and listening to his steady breathing, that she's made the right choice. The whole relationship thing is better when it's exclusive.

Or maybe the whole relationship thing is just better when it's with Edward.

10.

At the age of twenty-three, Bella Swan cries openly in public, hiccupping and wiping the tears away from her face, smiling like a fool in love the whole time, and all because Edward Cullen proposes.

He does it the traditional way, keeping it simple because that's how she likes it. First he asks Charlie Swan for his blessing, and then he takes her to an expensive restaurant, insisting that he wants to spoil her for just one night when she protests. It's a lie, of course, because he spoils her on countless more nights to come. The waiter brings them their champagne, smiling as he fills their flutes and quickly retreats, because he's already been told what's been planned for the night.

Edward holds up his glass and proposes a toast, "To us," he says simply, and they both drink to something that means everything to them. When he gets down on one knee and holds up the ring, he sees confusion and then astonishment flicker over her face. Even though he knows she loves him he's nervous; he also knows she's not entirely positive when it comes to marriage.

The elation he feels when she simply nods her head and pulls him up into a kiss is overwhelming. He would take her right there and then if he wasn't vaguely aware of the other diners watching them with gentle smiles, enjoying the glow of the obvious love between two strangers. Instead, he pulls away, and with the smuggest look to ever grace his face, he tells her, "I love you."

"I love you, too," and she really, really means it.

--

Their wedding isn't simple –to be expected, with Alice Whitlock as the maid of honour. Flower petals litter the path that leads up to the archway elaborately wrapped in white silk and lilies, and though Bella Swan hates to be the centre of attention she thinks she can stand it for one night because, and only because, it's a celebration of her love with Edward Cullen.

She wears a white dress; though she lost her virginity a long time ago she's still managed to retain some of her innocence in her view of love, her view of life. His love for her is plain on his face when he turns to watch her walk down the aisle towards him. When she stumbles, he smiles, thinking that she hasn't changed a bit since they met and that it can only make him love her more. He cries when she says her vows and she only cries later at the reception, when he stands up and asks her for their first dance as a married couple. She can only stare at him in wonder and thank every higher power she knows of for letting her be this lucky, for letting her find Edward. She marvels at how her heart doesn't burst with the intensity of her love for him. When she nods, taking his hand, the movement shakes the tears from her eyes and she silently thanks Alice for insisting on waterproof makeup. He holds her hand in one of his own and places the other on her hip, drawing her close to him as the music starts.

Miraculously, she makes it through their first dance without tripping, and she grins up at him as they sway to a stop, because she thinks that it bodes well for the rest of their lives together.

11.

At the age of eighty-six, Bella Swan dies.

Lying in their familiar king bed of their familiar house in the familiar suburbs of Seattle, she holds Edward's hand. She already knows what will happen when she lets go.

And so she turns, slowly, to lie on her side to face the one true love of her life.

"Edward?" she whispers, and he grunts. It makes her smile. So like an old man to ruin a moment like this. "I love you. With all my heart and all my being, I love you. You are life to me."

He finally opens his eyes and turns his head to look at her, grips her hand tighter and with his other hand reaches up to caress her face. "I love you, Bella. Past life and death."

"Past life and death." She repeats, and the tears fall from her eyes despite her efforts to hold them back.

"Bella?" His brow is wrinkled in age and confusion as he catches the tears with the back of his hand.

"Past life and death." She says it again, and, with a deep, steadying breath, the tears stop.

He leans over and brushes his lips against both her cheeks where the tears made their tracks. He pauses and looks into her eyes, trying to convey the passion he feels for her in a look, and then in a gentle kiss.

She returns the kiss until he pulls away to lie down again. Then she moves closer to him, until he wraps his arms around her, slowly.

Slowly. Everything is so slow. It's as though Time itself is on her side for the first time in sixty-eight years, prolonging the moment for her.

She's thankful, and she's content. More than content, she's blissful. Because she knows that a love like theirs can't possibly last just one lifetime. A love like theirs will surely last for the rest of eternity. And after eighty-six years, Bella Swan thinks she knows a little something about love.

Closer, she nestles closer until he's all she can feel and all she can smell and all she can think about.

They close their eyes to sleep, and the only difference is she never opens hers.