Author's Note: I'm sorry for not updating my multi-chaptered stories but real life is just too busy right now and I can't seem to find the calmness to sit down and just write something decent. But then I found this one-shot that had been waiting on my computer for months, and now seemed a good time to post it.

There is a little bit of slash (homosexual romance) in this story but it focusses mostly on friendship and on Sirius growing up (or not). It was inspired by a review for the tenth chapter of Hairy Snout, Human Heart by DarkAngelKisses: "there be the lovely mistletoe kiss! But before that...the Chronicles of Sirius Black's Kisses!" And there, if that isn't a fantastic title for a fic! (This story, however, has nothing to do with Hairy Snout, Human Heart but stands alone.)

I hope you enjoy reading this. Feedback in all forms is very welcome!

Disclaimer: Everything recognisable belongs to J.K. Rowling. I don't make money with this.

°°° The Chronicles of Sirius Black's Kisses °°°

First year: The last time that his mother kissed him.

Sirius, Regulus, Orion and Walburga Black stood together on Platform 9 ¾ as one family. Two brothers and their parents. Just another normal family. The older brother was excited to finally go to Hogwarts, the younger brother was jealous of him, the father was very proud of his son, who suddenly seemed so grown-up, and the mother was worried because her oldest son was going to leave home for longer than ever before.

For the third time today she pulled him into a tight embrace so that Sirius almost got dizzy from the thick scent of perfume she emanated, and gave him a little peck on the cheek. Of course, as any normal eleven-year-old boy, Sirius quickly struggled to get away from her lipstick-covered lips and frantically looked around to make sure no one had noticed that his mother had kissed him. Really, he had grown out of that long before.

"Be good, Sirius," his mother said in a voice that was both affectionate and stern. "If you ever need help, you can always ask Bellatrix, Narcissa or Lucius for advice. I'm sure you will quickly make friends in Slytherin. Behave well and write to us regularly."

"Yes, mother," Sirius replied obediently.

"Well, Sirius." His father put his large hand on Sirius' shoulder in a very manly gesture, making Sirius feel very grown-up and very proud of that. "Always remember, whatever people say to you: You are a Black and no one can take that away from you. I hope you will live up to your name."

"I will," Sirius said, radiating the confidence which he had been trained to feel as a Black. "I promise."

He has not kept his promise. Fate had different plans for him when he accidentally collided with another boy's trolley, and then laughed maniacally about the crash together with said boy, who had messy hair and wore glasses, and who had the craziest ideas anyone could ever imagine.

Second year: The first time that he kissed a girl.

The evening before the Christmas holidays, Sirius burst into the dormitory of the second years Gryffindor boys and flopped down on his bed.

"I've just had my first kiss!" he breathlessly informed everybody in a voice that was unmistakeable.

The other three boys immediately gathered around him in his bed and showered him with questions. Sirius had reached his goal: He had everyone's attention.

"Who was it?" asked James, who was bouncing excitedly up and down on the mattress.

"Jenny Bones," Sirius stated proudly.

The other three boys nodded appreciatively. Jenny was a good choice. She did not behave as silly as most other girls suddenly did: During breaks, they would hurry to the bathrooms in huge groups to check if their hairstyle and lipstick were still in perfect order; they would kiss posters of the lead singer from the Billywig Boys or discuss Professor Sprout's new hat. No, Jenny was normal and she was almost as good at Quidditch as the boys (and she did not mind playing during rainy and muddy weather either). Almost, of course. Because girls could never be as good at Quidditch as boys, everyone knew that. But all in all, Jenny Bones was simply someone you could easily get along with. And for that reason, Sirius had chosen her for his first kiss. He had liked her for a long time – but, so far, only as a good mate. But when suddenly a third year Gryffindor boy had shown off with kissing a girl, Sirius had known that he had to do something, too. And now he was the first boy in second year who had kissed a girl!

"What was it like?" Remus asked curiously.

"Great," Sirius said confidently although it had not really been that great. It had been short and clumsy.

"But what did it feel like?" Remus insisted.

Sirius hesitated for a little moment. Truth be told, he could not remember much but for his pounding heart and jittery hands. "Great," he said again. "You really feel it, you know?" He lowered his voice and the four friends stuck their heads together, feeling like this was something really secretive, something special, something only the closest friends were allowed to know. "It's fantastic when your lips touch, like -- like getting hit by a spell. A very nice spell, of course." Actually, the kiss had probably been too short for Sirius and Jenny to even experience a spell hitting them but that's what it's supposed to feel like – Sirius had heard people talk about it.

Peter stared at him in awe. So did Remus. James asked, "Did she like it, too? What did she say? What did she do?"

Again, Sirius hesitated for the briefest of seconds. He had not stayed long enough to await Jenny's reaction.

"Of course she liked it," Sirius said smugly. "She kissed back, so it's obvious she liked it, right? She pulled me closer and -- and put her lips against mine --" In reality, he had just given her a quick goodnight kiss and then turned on his heels and dashed off to immediately report to his friends about his spectacular conquest.

"You must be good at kissing," Peter said raptly.

Sirius shrugged modestly.

"And -- and how do you -- you know, do it?" James asked curiously.

"Well..." So Sirius made up a long speech on how to kiss properly, finishing with, "It's just great, you know? I promise you, I'm going to kiss so many more girls..."

Whether he has kept that promise depends on your definition of 'many', of course. In comparison to Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew or even James Potter, it can be safely stated that Sirius Black has, indeed, kissed many girls. Taking into account what he had in mind as a thirteen-year-old boy, however, the actual number of girls he has kissed was rather low.

Third year: The first time that a kiss led to a girlfriend.

She was the third girl he kissed. He had become more daring, and timidly tried to prolong the kiss. He did not immediately run off after the kiss either. That was his mistake.

"We could go to Hogsmeade together next weekend," Christine suggested.

"Alright," he replied and grinned hesitantly.

Her cheeks had turned pink, she had beamed and then she had been the one who hurriedly left with a bounce in her step. Certainly she was going to tell her friends now that she was going to Hogsmeade with a boy.

At first it had been great. When he and Christine had walked down the road to Hogsmeade together, holding hands, his friends and classmates had eyed him with reluctant admiration. Naturally, they had talked about asking girls out but no matter how bold they sounded when they discussed it, none of them had the courage to actually do it. Because what if the chosen girl turned you down?

And now here he was and everyone could see that he had the nerve to ask a girl out and that the girls obviously wanted to go out with him. But was going out with a girl really worth it? Christine seemed to expect him to hold hands with her but, really, it was winter and his hands were cold and he would have rather stuffed them in the pockets of his warm cloak. Furthermore, she always pulled him closer to her and away from his friends when he wanted to talk to them.

At first, he had to accompany her into a shop called 'Gladrags Wizardwear'. Then he had to help her choose Christmas presents for her parents. Afterwards, he suggested they go to Zonko's but she said they did not have enough time for that anymore. So they went to Madam Puddifoot's, a small tea shop.

The first thing she did there was disappearing into the bathroom, where she stayed for more than fifteen minutes. When she came back, she had put on the new gigantic pair of earrings she had bought today, she had painted glitter on her eyelids and had tied something that resembled a huge butterfly that constantly changed its colours into her hair. Frankly, she looked … very colourful.

"Have you already ordered us something to drink?" she asked cheerfully.

"No, I didn't know what you'd like."

"Butterbeer with strawberry flavour," she said, almost affronted that he had not known it. Before he could protest, she had ordered two butterbeers with strawberry flavour.

"I've got something I want to give you," she said when their drinks had arrived.

"You want to give me something?" Sirius asked in surprise and carefully took a swig of his strangely sweet butterbeer.

"Yes. It's --" She nervously chewed on her fingernails, which were painted pink with specks of silver. "Here." She put two thin bracelets on the table. Sirius eyed them warily. He was not supposed to wear them, was he? Because they looked simply girly.

"They're friendship bracelets," Christine explained. "I've made them myself. They both look identical but yours has a 'C' woven into it and mine has an 'S'." She put hers on and then expectantly looked at Sirius to do the same.

Embarrassedly, Sirius took the light blue plait (he could be lucky it was not pink!) and tied it around his wrist.

"Do you like it?"

Her uncertain voice made him feel ashamed. Yes, he liked her (otherwise he would not have kissed her in the first place) despite her glittery makeup, her odd taste in butterbeer and her adoration for the Billywig Boys.

"Yes," he mumbled without looking at her. "They're nice." But then he added a more truthful, "Thank you."

"Friendship bracelets are to show that you belong together," she explained further. "It's like the promise when you exchange wedding rings."

Although Sirius did not take off his friendship bracelet from Christine even though he blushed furiously when James, Remus and Peter constantly teased him about it, he has not kept that promise.

Fourth year: The first time that he kissed a boy.

"Gross," James stated, grimacing.

"Gross," Remus affirmed, shuddering.

"Really gross," Peter agreed, grimacing and shuddering for emphasis.

"Why?" Sirius looked round at his friends. Again, they sat together on Sirius' bed in their most secretive way.

"It's just -- gross," James explained.

"It's not meant to be that way," Remus tried to explain in a more rational way. "See, two men can't have children together, so it's obvious nature doesn't want them to be together."

"I'm not speaking of having children," Sirius said. "They could -- have a dog."

"Really?" Peter stared open-mouthed at Sirius.

"Buy a dog, of course!" Sirius laughed loudly but the others only joined half-heartedly in his laughter. "Or take a poor stray dog. Or they could adopt children. Yeah. And by the way, Remus, nature gave men lips and tongues and so two men can very obviously kiss."

"Are you sure?" James asked doubtfully.

"Yes! I told you I saw Thomas and Percival snogging each other!"

"Okay, okay," James conceded. "I've always known Thomas was a bit odd."

"Just because he ignores your challenges to duels doesn't mean he's gay," Remus said defensively because he usually stayed away from duels, too.

"So, if a boy kisses another boy, does it mean he's gay?" Sirius asked and looked at Remus for an answer.

"I suppose so. Well, he could always be bisexual."

"What does that mean?" Sirius asked. His parents had never properly given him the talk. Instead, they had elaborated on inheritance and marrying a pureblood witch to preserve the pure magic lineage in the wizarding world.

"Someone's bisexual if they like to kiss both boys and girls," Remus explained.

"Sounds good," Sirius said thoughtfully. "How do you find out if you're bisexual?"

"I have no idea. I'm neither gay nor bisexual."

"How do you know?"

"I just know," Remus said, somewhat annoyed.

"I suppose I don't know what I am," Sirius said slowly. "But how can I find out?"

"It's easy," James said impatiently. "Grab a boy, kiss him, and if you like it, you're bisexual, and if you don't, you're not."

"Okay. So, who of you will kiss me?"

"What?!" All three other boys backed away from him.

"Come on, it's not such a big deal." Sirius turned to James first. After all, James was his best friend, and best friends certainly should help in such situations too, right?

"Forget it, mate, just forget it."

"Remus?" Sirius turned to Remus next.

"No. I don't kiss boys."

"I don't kiss boys either," Peter said quickly before Sirius could even address him.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "You two don't kiss girls either."

"And I intend to keep it that way," Remus insisted, while Peter nodded affirmatively.

"You're cowards, all three of you," Sirius tried to provoke them. "What's so scary about kissing a boy? I'm your best mate, I'm not going to bite you. Or are you afraid of being a lousy kisser in comparison to me?"

"Okay, okay, I'll do it," James finally volunteered.

Sirius grinned at him, and the two boys leant forward until their lips touched. Remus and Peter edged closer again because they did not want to miss anything, of course. The kiss between Sirius and James could hardly be called gentle or loving. Although they were best friends, they've always been rivals, too. They often argued who was better at Quidditch, at Transfiguration or at duelling. It was no different with kissing. Their kiss now was another duel, in which both fought for dominance. Soon it developed into a wrestling match with kicking, punching, tickling and throwing pillows.

When James won with a hard punch at Sirius's nose, Sirius said, out of breath, "I'm definitely not gay, and I promise you: I'll never kiss a boy again."

He has not kept that promise.

Fifth year: The first time that a kiss led to sex.

History of Magic, 4pm.

Where've you been during DADA?

James

Grinning to himself, Sirius composed a reply of which he knew it would make James fall from his chair.

I've just had sex with Sabine Martenson.

Padfoot

James' reaction was almost as bad as Sirius had imagined: James gulped, choked and then got a coughing fit (but Lily Evans was the only one who threw him a withering glance, of course, because Professor Binns was too busy talking about the umpteenth Goblin War). Sirius shrugged and countered James' dumbfounded look with a smug grin.

Peter, who sat next to James on his other side, curiously peeked at the piece of parchment, too. When he looked up at Sirius, his eyes and mouth were wide open. Again, Sirius only gave a casual shrug. James, in the meantime, furiously scribbled a reply.

(1) Why?

(2) Where?

(3) What was it like?

Prongs

Enjoying James' and Peter's rapt attention, Sirius slowly dipped his quill into the ink bottle and started answering James's questions.

(1) Because when you're 16 it's high time you get some experience! My stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid

At that point, Remus, who sat next to him, nudged him slightly in the side and whispered, "You've written 'stupid' more than -- ten times."

"Yeah, I know," Sirius muttered and added 'cousin Bellatrix' behind the fifteenth 'stupid'. Meanwhile, Remus scanned the rest of the parchment and his lips formed an 'O' when he read what had been written at the beginning of the exchange of notes.

"Really?" Remus whispered and looked at Sirius with a serious, almost worried expression. "What was it like?"

"Great," Sirius answered, smiled briefly and finished the note for the more and more impatient-growing James.

-- has always shown off because she's had her first time already at her 15th birthday.

(2) Girls' bathroom

(3) Brilliant. You gotta try it too, mate. It's brilliant, nothing like I expected it to be.

That last part was even true. Sirius had expected more from it after all he had heard. It had been mostly awkward from his part. It had been a frantic crashing of lips and teeth that had somehow ended in both of them being naked, and if Sabine, who was two years older than him, had not known what to do, they would have never gotten anywhere. Then there had been the worst part when Sabine had whispered to him, after the sex, that she loved him, and then she had become sentimental and had told him about all her other boyfriends who had all been idiots and had betrayed her. She made Sirius promise not to do the same.

But already one month later, she accused him of being an idiot and betraying her, too. Not completely without good reason. Because he has not kept his promise to her.

Sixth year: The first time that a kiss caused Moony to get really angry.

Her name was Helena Jones. She was a Gryffindor sixth year, too, but too shy to be noticed by anybody. That was exactly what Sirius liked about her. He liked quiet people who did not insist on chatting all the time and thus gave him headaches with their pointless discussions concerning which boy and girl were suited best to be a couple. He also liked Helena's eye colour. They were a deep brown (just like her hair and her skin) and radiated a pleasant calmness. He really needed someone like Helena now after two weeks of being followed by a hopeful fourth year girl that was all lip-gloss, giggles and love letters.

Helena seemed still overwhelmed that a boy (and not just any boy but Sirius Black!) was interested in her. She smiled gratefully when Sirius kissed her goodnight after spending almost two hours with her cuddled together on one of the plushy red sofas in the Gryffindor common room. Content with the way things were now, Sirius went up into his own dormitory, where the curtains around Remus' bed were already closed.

"Tired, Moony?" Sirius asked while changing into his pyjamas. "Me too. I still haven't finished the essay for Flitwick. D'you think you could lend me yours?" No answer. "To get a few ideas, I mean." Still no answer. "Or you could just give me a hint which book – and maybe which page – could help me?"

When there was still no answer from Remus, Sirius grew suspicious and cautiously opened the curtains to have a peek in Remus' bed. Remus immediately turned away from him and pulled his blanket over his head.

"Will you please leave me alone? I'm tired," he said curtly.

Sirius frowned. Full moon was still more than two weeks away, there was no reason for the always polite Remus to be so grumpy.

"You okay?" Sirius asked a tad worriedly.

"Yes, Sirius, but I want to sleep," Remus replied with growing impatience.

"What's wrong?" Sirius insisted and sat down on Remus' bed.

"Argh." Remus groaned in frustration and his head appeared from under the blanket. "Is it so hard to understand that I want to sleep?!" There was a defiant look in his eyes Sirius had only seen once before: When Sirius, James and Peter had confronted him about being a werewolf.

"Okay, I'm sorry, you don't have to give me your essay, I'll finish it on my own, and I know I have to study more," Sirius tried to placate his friend. He was sure Remus' bad mood was about that.

"Well, the first step would be to stop shagging everything that has two legs and remotely resembles a human being," Remus said sourly. "Then you'd certainly have enough time for your homework."

Sirius raised his eyebrows. Remus was getting uncharacteristically insulting. "Listen, Remus, it's not my fault you're in such a lousy mood. If you'd just tell me what's bugging you --"

"Well, sorry to disillusion you but it's exactly you what's bugging me," Remus interrupted him sharply.

For a moment, Sirius was lost for words. Why was Remus so angry with him? "I already said I'd study more," he said lamely.

"For heaven's sake, Sirius, I'm not interested in your homework, it's your fault if you fail your OWLs," Remus said although they both knew that would never happen. Sirius might not study much but he was one of the most talented students nonetheless.

"What is it then?" Sirius demanded to know.

"Well, I already said it: I'm sick of you shagging and snogging everyone."

"Whoa - what?!" Sirius said indignantly. "Certainly it's nothing of your concern who I snog."

"No, it's not, but you asked what my lousy mood was about and I answered your question. Now you know. Can you finally let me sleep now?"

Of course Sirius would not let the matter rest now. He did not understand why Remus, who was usually so calm and minded his own business, was suddenly so agitated because Sirius had already snogged more people than Remus (which was not that hard, by the way, because – as far as Sirius knew – Remus' only kissing experience had been a little peck from a courageous third-year girl).

"How do you even know who I shag? Been listening to all the rumours about me? I didn't know you were one for gossip. Really, Moony, I just don't get it, what's your problem? Do you have a problem with Helena?"

"No, I don't have a problem with Helena at all," Remus spat. "She's a nice girl and you're just using her and you don't care how many people you hurt as long as you get your nice snogging sessions!"

Sirius' mouth hung open by now. "Are you jealous?" he asked incredulously.

"Jealous?!" Remus echoed shrilly. "Of what? Of you behaving like a -- like a selfish idiot?! Merlin, it's no wonder your parents threw you out!"

Remus abruptly turned his back to Sirius again and pulled his blanket over his head. Sirius gulped, stood up slowly and walked over to his own bed. Never before had Remus snapped at him like that, not even when he had sent Snape to the Whomping Willow. Normally, Remus just got back at people with stony silence or maddening politeness. He hardly ever called anyone an 'idiot'. He talked politely to Slytherins. He refrained from swearing most of the time. But now ...

Feeling suddenly very exhausted, Sirius closed the hangings around his own bed, lay back on his back and kept staring at the ceiling motionlessly. Did Remus really mean that? For how long had he already despised Sirius? Sirius knew Remus was good at pretending. Did he simply pretend everything was fine and that they were all friends when in reality he looked down at the selfish Sirius Black?

One hour later, Sirius was still agonising over such thoughts. Remus had not fallen asleep yet either. It was dark in the dormitory and Sirius could only hear Remus' steps and the rustling of his bed curtains when Remus pulled them slowly open.

"Padfoot?" he whispered.

"Yeah?"

"You still awake?"

"Yeah."

"I wanted to say sorry. I didn't mean it."

"You didn't?" Sirius asked hopefully and sat up. The mattress sank somewhat when Remus sat down next to him.

"No. I was just angry. I'm sorry."

"That's okay."

There was a long, awkward silence. Sirius still did not fully believe Remus. He had said it. There had to be something behind it, right?

"I guess I'm really just -- jealous," Remus finally said embarrassedly. "'Cause you've had several girlfriends and I've never dated anyone."

"You could have a girlfriend, you know?" Sirius said quickly. "You're really nice and every girl could be really lucky to have you as their boyfriend and --"

"Sirius, please," Remus said in a strained voice. "We've discussed this before."

Yes, they had done that but Sirius had not liked the outcome of that discussion. But he kept quiet now for Remus' sake. He still did not fully believe that Remus had only said it because he was jealous. Remus Lupin was not someone who would act so strongly on jealousy. There was something else but Sirius could not put his finger on it.

"It's really just because it's Christmas now and with all the mistletoe everywhere …" Sirius said apologetically. "But you're right of course, I shouldn't do that when I'm dating Helena. I promise, I'll stop snogging all those people."

He has kept that promise. Most of the time, anyway. Because when he had to spend New Year's Eve at Hogwarts with neither his friends nor his girlfriend there, he would have felt just a bit too lonely without having anyone to kiss.

Seventh year: The first time that he kissed Remus Lupin.

Last full moon has been unusually rough. That's why Sirius has decided to skip Transfiguration (fully aware that it will bring him many hours of detention from McGonagall) and keep Remus company in the hospital wing. Of course he knows perfectly well that he is no help at all because Madam Pomfrey is a competent nurse and Remus has had much worse injuries before they've joined him as Animagi ...

Sirius stays with Remus because he feels guilty. Many of Remus' biting wounds are from Padfoot. Last night, the werewolf suddenly smelt human flesh (some drunken inhabitant from Hogsmeade who staggered over the grounds late at night) and Moony lost control, the wolf took over, and Padfoot and Prongs had to put up quite a fight. Wormtail, being a tiny rat, is not much help against a fully grown werewolf, of course. Prongs has his antlers to keep the werewolf at bay. But with Padfoot and Moony, it is always the most direct, most intimate and most vicious fights. They have both given each other several bites and scratches last night.

As soon as Madam Pomfrey has left the room, both of them begin stuttering apologies.

"I'm s-sorry, Moony, i-it's all my fault --"

"I'm really sorry that I bit you and there's going to be a scar and --"

"I should've never brought you so near to the village --"

"I didn't want to bite you, I-I never want to hurt anyone --"

"It's not your fault, do you understand me? It was just because we were --"

"I should've never left the Shrieking Shack in the first place --"

"I'm sorry I had to bite you and all, and I really didn't want it, but I knew what would've happened if you'd attacked that stupid drunken man - and why did he have to be there?! --"

"I should've never allowed you to join me during full moons --"

"What?!"

A ringing silence follows that statement full of indignation. Sirius has not wanted to sound so accusing but Remus has decidedly gone too far.

Remus lowers his eyes to his bandaged left hand. "It's too dangerous," he says in a hoarse voice. "I was so happy that I could keep control during full moons but -- I really appreciate what you did for me but -- it's too dangerous," he repeats as if to convince himself. "You should stay away next full moon," he says to his injured hand and swallows hard.

"No."

Sirius's tone makes it very clear that there is nothing to argue about. The matter has already been decided – whether Remus likes it or not.

"I just don't want you to -- to get --"

And because Sirius hates it when Remus blames himself and thinks so little of himself, he decides to simply kiss Remus. It's not really a conscious decision, it's mostly instinct and maybe the result of not sleeping last night or the dizzying scent of the ointment he had to put on his many wounds. He has done this often enough to know what to do. Remus obviously not. Sirius knows that Remus has so far refused to date someone because he is convinced that he could never find love because of his 'condition'. If Remus says something like that, it angers Sirius even more, so he kisses Remus even harder now.

He only stops when Remus makes a muffled sound of protest because Sirius is gripping his injured shoulder so tightly. With a mumbled "sorry", Sirius lets go of him and sits down again next to Remus on the edge of the bed.

"What was that about?" Remus asks, sounding as if he wants to analyse an unusual reaction of ingredients during a Potions lesson.

"Dunno." Sirius really does not know what it was about. It was a kiss, so what?

Remus grimaces and shakes his head, pretending to be slightly amused. "I thought so."

"Why, what do you mean to imply by that, Mr. Moony?"

"Oh, no idea. Maybe that you never think about anything you do?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to hurt your feelings," Sirius says quickly. He knows that sort of language. People have accused him of hurting their feelings before.

"You didn't," Remus assures him and forces a smile. "Just out of curiosity: Do you have a list where you tick off everyone from Hogwarts you kissed? I suppose Snape still misses. And what about the teachers? Do they count, too?"

"Whoa, that's gross, Remus."

"Yes, I agree."

Another silence follows until Remus finally asks, his voice still raspy from last night, "So, in which category do I belong? Someone you mock by kissing them? Or someone you have fun kissing once or twice? Someone who'll be completely ignored by you once you've grown bored of their kisses? Someone you want to experiment with?"

"Well ..." Pretending to be deep in thought, Sirius tips a finger against his chin until his gaze finally rests on Remus and he grins broadly at him. "I guess I'll have to find a new category for you. Like -- my second best friend whom I like to kiss?"

"So we'll stay friends, no matter whether you'll finally grow tired of kissing me? You'll not simply put me aside once you're through with me?"

"No, no, no, of course not. I promise, I'd never hurt your feelings --" He trails off when he sees Remus' tight smile. Both of them are well aware that Sirius has already done that. And in spite of the unspoken agreement that The Incident is not to be spoken about, it has not been forgotten at all.

"I -- I don't want to -- you know?" Sirius says awkwardly. "I'll try not to -- well."

Remus simply nods. "I know," he says and smiles. Sirius inches a bit closer to him and smiles back and wishes that things could always be as simple as this.

Sirius thinks that a kiss is not really something extremely special. Really, it's nothing more than placing your lips against someone's lips and shoving your tongue into someone's mouth. It can feel pleasurable but sometimes also disgusting. But it's nothing special. To Sirius, a shared, silent smile between Remus and him holds much more meaning and is much more intimate than any kiss could ever be.

"I'll really try," he says again and he means it. He vows to himself that he will do everything to keep this promise.