-15-

The next evening, Destiny arrived home. As soon as he stepped out of the trailer, I could see the change in him. It wasn't the same horse that had left Townsend Acres a week ago.

Normally, I would've brushed off his lackluster appearance and the dullness in his eyes as pure exhaustion. Perhaps it was because I no longer saw the horse as a running machine, but I could swear that he was both physically and mentally defeated.

"What a mess. The press wouldn't leave us alone. Destiny's hardly eaten. Dammit…" Maddock looked as deflated as the horse.

Jumping out the cab, Ashleigh gave me a transparent smile. She was more than tired. Her eyes were red and puffy. It looked like she'd been crying.

"Ashleigh had a little run in with her ex after the race," Maddock whispered in my ear. "She was upset as it was, but I think that broke her. Hasn't spoken the whole ride home. She might talk to you though."

I doubted it, but I chased after her toward the training barn.

Grabbing her arm, I spun her to face me. "Are you okay?"

Ashleigh looked at me for all of two seconds before the tears started to fall. "No. No, I'm not ok," she said, her voice cracking.

"What happened? And I don't mean in the race." I slowly steered her towards my office, my hand on her back.

Between sobs, Ashleigh said, "I saw Mike. God, what an asshole."

"It's ok, Ashleigh. I don't know what it is he did to you, but it'll be ok." My words sounded lame, but I was never very good at comforting people.

I followed her into my office and kicked the door closed behind us. Switching on the kettle, I turned back to her. "Coffee or tea?"

"Coffee. Strong." She slumped in one of the padded leather chairs and stared blankly at the wall.

Making the coffee in silence, I wondered what Mike had done to her in the first place. She had never really told me the full story. Now, I hoped, she would be more open with me. Not that I was her best friend or anything, but she didn't seem to want to put an axe in my head whenever I spoke to her.

I set the mug in one of her trembling hands and pulled up the other chair. "I've been told that talking helps. Start from the beginning."

She had a few sips and then, reluctantly, started talking. "All this shit started long before the Classic last year. Mike started pressurizing me for a wedding date. Of course, I wasn't interested in getting married just then. It was too early.

"But, it turned out that wasn't all that Mike wanted. You see, he was after half of my interest in Pride and Princess. I was just too blind to see how he had changed, you know. It wasn't about us anymore. It was about my horses. And the money they could win for him." She had another sip of her coffee and sighed. "I guess I was just stupid."

I wanted to make her feel better. "We all have our moments, you know. I was going to propose to Lavinia! Now, how's that for idiotic?"

Ashleigh cracked a smile and I felt accomplished.

"I can't believe you were going to ask that bimbo to marry you. She was so vapid when it came to anything outside of her physical appearance," Ashleigh said, wiping at her face.

Shaking my head, I just laughed. "What did Mike say to you at Gulfstream?" I brought the talk back on the subject at hand.

"He seemed really annoyed that I was riding for Townsend Acres. He told me that I was using you just like I had used him. He said that he couldn't believe that I had run to you, that I was really desperate. The worst thing was… he blamed me for Pride's accident and for my ride on Destiny. It was like he thought I couldn't ride worth shit anymore. Maybe that's true." Fresh tears ran down her cheeks.

Filled with an urge to find Mike Reese and punch his face in, I clenched my fists. No wonder she was so upset. Knowing Ashleigh she was probably blaming herself as it was. And he had to make it worse!

"Fucking asshole," I muttered then looked at her. "He's just jealous that you seemed to have bounced back from everything and he didn't. It sounds like he's the one who's fucked up over all this, not you."

She didn't seem convinced, so I continued. "Look, you did a great job on Destiny. It wasn't your fault that Charm Song's jock decided to spoil the race for you. In fact, you did the best thing possible by holding Destiny back! Don't blame yourself for things you have no control over."

"I should've pushed him on! Or seen that horse coming! It is my fault and you know it. You're just saying that to make me feel better."

"You should know that I don't just say stuff to make you feel better. I say stuff because it's true. Anyway, I know what will really will help, though." I got up and grabbed my car keys from my drawer.

*~*~*~*

"Oh-he's-so-wonderful-I-wonder-what-color-he-will-be-maybe-he-will-be-like-pride-want-to-touch-him-good-job-baby!"

I burst out laughing at the verbal waterfall that came forth from Ashleigh as soon as she set eyes on the new foal. She was leaning over the stable door with a hand on Wonder's muzzle.

She glared at me then grinned. "You're right. Seeing him does help."

"Welcome back, Ash!" Rory Griffen, now a stocky junior in high school, didn't even glance at me as he rushed up to his sister. "Isn't the foal awesome?"

I listened with half-an-ear as the siblings caught up. It felt awkward to be there all of a sudden.

"Listen," I touched Ashleigh's shoulder when there was a break in the conversation. "I have to go. I'll put your bag outside the front door."

She nodded and then went back to Wonder's stable.

Rory's voice followed me down the aisle. "Since when did he become Mr. Nice Guy?"

By the time Ashleigh answered, I was too far away to hear what she'd said.

-16-

"Come on, Pride. I might as well make myself useful and take you for a walk." I grabbed the stallion's headcollar and slipped it on his head. Pride whuffed excitedly. He couldn't go out in a paddock yet in case he hurt himself, but the vet had ordered us to make sure he did lots of nice, steady walking.

In a month, we'd be able to start working him properly again. His future as a racehorse depend on how well the old injury held up under stress.

I was glad to have something to do. I still wasn't one hundred percent better from the pneumonia and I couldn't even contemplate riding. But, I was sure a nice walk would do both Pride and I good.

"You taking him out?" Ashleigh appeared at the end of the aisle. She looked a lot better than she had the previous day.

Nodding, I said, "You're more than welcome to join us." I held the lead out to her.

Taking it, she lead the horse out of the barn and into the bright morning sunshine. It was a good day to be outside and just feeling the warmth on my face lightened my spirits considerably.

"He's looking better. And so are you." Ashleigh glanced at me.

"Thanks. Maria's been feeding me up with paella and stew." I flexed my arm briefly. "Actually, I'm still not quite there health-wise."

Her eyes flicked over me. "You're thin, but not nearly as bad as you looked before."

"Thanks!" I pretended to be offended and gave her a wounded look.

"You know what I meant." Ashleigh draped an arm over Pride's back.

We walked up a rise and had a wonderful view of the farm below us. I could see a horse galloping out on the track while others were scattered around the paddocks. Everything was immaculate, just as my father liked it to be.

"This is all going to be yours one day. I feel so, so sorry for you." Ashleigh had a look of mock pity on her face.

I rolled my eyes. "You know, I'm beginning to wonder if I want it."

"What? Who wouldn't want it?"

"It's just been that, lately, I have to force myself to care about the place. And it pisses me off that I haven't done anything else with my life." I started to walk on and she followed me. "Townsend Acres is all I know. I'm twenty-five and, technically, I have yet to earn my first honest dollar."

She didn't say anything and I took her silence as a sign of her agreement.

I sighed heavily, overwhelmed at how lost I felt. Right then, the only thing that seemed to matter was the girl beside me. And I didn't even know if she cared.

*~*~*~*

The next week passed in a blur. I watched as Ashleigh was the first person to sit astride both my father's colt and Princess. Both yearlings had been coming along nicely under Kelly's care, but I knew that Ashleigh wanted to get more involved with the filly's training.

Maddock was starting to pressure me about my father's colt. He kept insisting that I think of a name for him and work with him. I only finally agreed because it would give me something else do aside from walking out with Pride every morning.

I was about to start my first session with the colt when Maddock walked up to me, looking concerned.

"What is it?" I asked, wondering if there was something wrong with the young horse.

"I just got off the phone with your father. We're still running Destiny in the Derby, it seems. He doesn't want to pull him from the race." Maddock rubbed his temples with his fingertips.

I sighed, annoyed. "My father didn't even watch the bloody Florida Derby, did he? Destiny was a wreck after that race."

"I know, Brad. I know. And he still hasn't bounced back. That horse always seems to run a psychological race. If he messes up, the problem is in his head, not on the track. I'm so worried that the Derby will ruin him."

That was exactly how I felt. I wouldn't even have thought that the Derby was a consideration anymore. I was right. It was a definite.

"All we can do is help that horse as much as we can. Maybe we need to run him against Catchphrase and let him win." I stroked the colt's shoulder thoughtfully.

Maddock nodded. "Trails too. Get him off the track and out into open space."

It was going to take a lot of work to get Destiny to bounce back for the Derby. We only had three weeks to do it.

-17-

A good thing about living on a Thoroughbred farm is the space. I could take a decent run without having to leave the property. I was sick of feeling half-alive and had started making a circuit of the trails alongside the paddocks every morning.

The first time out there was torture; my lungs felt like I had inhaled acid and little missiles of pain fired along my muscles. After a week though, I was fitter and it became habit to get out of bed, change into my sweats and go for a jog.

On one such morning, Maddock stopped me as I ran past the track.

"The Derby is in ten days, Brad. By this stage we should be feeling pretty confident that our horse can win it." Maddock gave me a rhetorical look.

I caught my breath before replying. "I think we'd be better off running the race ourselves."

It was pretty hard not to notice the lackluster performances that Destiny had been putting out since the Florida Derby. Even with Catchphrase by his side, he had barely lifted a hoof. He had also been slow to pick up weight after the race.

The previous day, we had taken him out on the trails and he had slouched along. I had commented to Ashleigh that he had clearly lost his spark and she had just shaken her head sadly.

"Fuck it, I don't know what to do anymore. We'll be laughed at when he puts in his official works at Churchill Downs," Maddock said, a worried frown creasing his face. "I was chatting to Kelly and she is at a total loss, too."

I didn't want to run the horse and both trainers didn't want to run him either. There only seemed to be one logical choice.

"I'm pulling him from the race, Ken. If my father has a problem with that, he can deal with me. I'm sick of him deciding stuff like this when he really hasn't kept in touch with the horses." I gave a heavy sigh, dreading my father's reaction when I pulled Destiny. But, running the colt wasn't worth the risk.

Maddock nodded, his features relaxing. "He may bounce back in time for the Preakness. Maybe."

"We may have to face the fact that Destiny may not be able to handle the distance, you know. This might be more than something in his head." Even though I had said the words myself, I hated to hear them. I was fond of the big bay colt. But, he had never really been tested over longer distances until the Florida Derby.

After a few more words, I took off again, pounding out my frustrations against the winding path. It just didn't seem possible that this was all happening. A year ago, we had a Derby winner in Wonder's Pride. Hell, that colt had come so close to sealing the Triple Crown and I yearned for that chance again. But, it clearly wasn't going be with Destiny.

Now, Pride might never set foot on the track again, Destiny couldn't hold a candle to horses like Charm Song and I was alone in more ways than one.

*~*~*~*

"If you had just seen him run this week, you would know why we're pulling him! Don't ruin that horse for glory!" I yelled into the receiver of the telephone. "Both Ken, Kelly and myself agree. Ashleigh, too."

There was a heavy silence on the other end. Then, when my father spoke, he sounded very displeased. "It's probably due to poor training and riding. The last time I saw him run he looked like a million dollars."

"No, I honestly think he's just in need of a good rest. Maybe he'll perk up in a few weeks, but the Derby isn't even an option right now."

"You know, I am wondering who you are and what happened to my son. I had no idea you cared about the horses, Brad." My father's voice was laden with scorn.

"Well, what else am I supposed to care about? Tell me! I don't have anything else!"

"Now, whose fault is that? You have no one to blame but yourself."

I didn't even ask him to elaborate. I slammed the phone down, cursing loudly. Not that it mattered that my father was being unreasonable. I had pulled Destiny from the race that morning.

Walking out my office, I hit my clenched fist against the wall. I didn't know what my father's problem was. He was hardly at the farm and he had no idea what was going on there. Quite frankly, I thought he had no right to even have an opinion on whether Destiny should race or not. It pissed me off.

Worse than that, though, was the obvious disdain he had shown toward me. Like I knew nothing about the horse myself, not to mention his little comment about my not caring.

"Fuck!" My foot connected with an empty water bucket and sent it flying down the aisle.

"Did the bucket call you a bad name, Brad?" Ashleigh's head poked out from over the door of Princess's stable. She had an amused expression on her face.

I shook my head and tried to relax. I didn't want her to see me all riled up over this. "I'm just pissed off at my father."

"About Destiny? You did the right thing pulling him from the race." Ashleigh let herself out of the stable and stood next to me.

Digging my palms into my forehead, I said, "I'll get over it. Frankly, it's not like we need the horse to win the race or anything. There are other Townsend horses that are doing decently. And we sold that Townsend Victor colt last month for a decent price. I don't get why he's so fucking… fucking…" I trailed off, not knowing what to say. It didn't seem possible to describe how my father was being lately.

Ashleigh put a hand on my arm. "It's not a big deal. Let's take Pride for a walk. Get your mind off all this."

I doubted that would help, but I grabbed a halter from one of the hooks anyway.

Summer was well on its way and both Ashleigh and I had discarded our light jackets in the barn. I glanced at her while we walked and admired how good she looked with the sunlight radiating off her dark hair. She had grown up so much in the past year.

So had I.

"I can't get over this." Ashleigh glanced at me.

"What? Not racing in the Derby?" I asked, lifting my shoulders and then dropping them again. "It's ok. You'll have another chance I'm sure."

With a laugh, Ashleigh gave me a little nudge with her elbow. "That's not what I meant. I was talking about us! When last did we fight over something?"

I pretended to ponder her question. "Well, let's see… thirty seven days, five hours and three minutes ago?"

"You are so annoying. My point is, it's been a very long time. If I had to label my relationship with you, I'd say you've become a pretty good friend. How about that?" She didn't look very comfortable with that concept, but I may have misread her body language.

"Nobody says you have to label anything, Ashleigh. Just take it for what it is. Labels add pressure on both of us."

"What are you implying? You don't want friendship?"

"No! I do, I do!" I raised the hand that wasn't holding the lead rein defensively. "I don't want definition. It puts whatever we have here into a little box and confines it."

The look in her eyes was penetrating. "I get it. You want more."

"No!" It was my turn to push her back. "Are you crazy? You're not my type at all."

"Ah, that's right. I'm not blonde, wealthy and have an IQ to rival my shoe size," Ashleigh said with such seriousness that I found myself laughing with my hand on Pride's glossy neck for support.

"My god. I really am that transparent. Call me when you bleach you hair, win the Triple Crown and kill your brain cells by falling on your head a few times." I put my arm around her tiny shoulders impulsively and pulled her against me for the briefest of moments.

It was amazing. All I needed was a few minutes with Ashleigh and everything seemed ok. Maybe I needed to spend more time with her. I didn't even care that I might not get anything more than companionship out of her.

-18-

On Derby day, Ashleigh and I watched Charm Song flatten the field of twelve and win by four lengths. A West coast horse, Effervescence, came in second.

"Well, at least Destiny wasn't here today. I think he would've gotten his butt kicked regardless." I held on to her elbow as we made our way through the crowds at the track.

Ashleigh nodded, but she seemed distracted. Her eyes darted around the sea of people surrounding us.

"Brad Townsend! Can I have a moment of your time?"

I spun to see who was addressing me and a light bulb went off in my face. A woman stuck out her free hand and said, "The name's Maria. Maria deBritius. I work for The Track Review. Do you mind if I ask you and Ms. Griffen a few questions?"

Laughing dryly, I said, "Why? We didn't have a horse running today. Unless you failed to notice that we pulled our entrant."

The blonde woman, only slightly younger than myself, laughed as if I had said the funniest thing in the world. "Oh, really, Mr. Townsend! I just wanted your opinion on some things. Do you think that Townsend Destiny could've won today?"

"Destiny is having a break at the moment. It's hard to say where he would've placed today."

Maria jotted something down on her pad. "Uh-huh. Are you planning on running him again?"

"It's hard to say at this stage," I said, trying to be as evasive as possible.

"What about Wonder's Pride?" Maria turned to Ashleigh. "Can we expect him back this season?"

Ashleigh glanced at me, "Uh, he's recovering well and we hope to have him start training again soon. Whether he races again will depend on that."

Grinning, the bouncy reporter said, "One final question for both of you. There are rumors going around regarding your relationship. Would you like to confirm anything?"

I felt Ashleigh tense beside me and quickly answered before she could say anything. "We have a strictly working relationship. I should hope that is what you will print in your little paper, Ms. deBritius."

We spun around and lost the nosy reporter in the crowds.

"People like making stuff up, don't they?" Ashleigh rolled her eyes.

With a laugh, I said, "Tell me about it! I bet the whole of Kentucky has nothing better to do than wonder if we're dating."

"Like that would ever happen!"

"Never!" I put an arm around her waist and kept her close to me, avoiding a particularly rowdy group of racing fans.

Suddenly, she skidded to a stop, almost wrenching my arm out of its socket. "Oh, god. It's Mike. Maybe he won't recognize me." She hid her face against my shoulder.

"He'll recognize me! Christ, Ashleigh! What can he do anyway?" I was so amused I laughed loudly.

I was about to find out, it seemed. Mike had spotted us and had pushed some lady out of the way while storming in our direction.

"I knew it! You are seeing him, aren't you, Ashleigh? I guess you really have resorted to taking desperate measures," Mike practically yelled, drawing the attention of several passersby.

Pulling away from me, Ashleigh jutted out her chin defiantly. "Calm down! I'm not seeing Brad, ok? He's my boss."

"Bullshit! You were hugging him! I saw you!" Mike's nostrils flared. "I get how it is. I didn't have enough money for you, is that it? You needed someone rich, even if it meant using Brad Townsend for his money! Bitch!"

I had had enough. I drew back my arm and hit the whiny bastard in the face. "Get a fucking clue," I spat, satisfied to see a dribble of blood running down his lips.

Mike retaliated and tried to take a swing at me but I had seen it coming from miles away. I stepped back and blocked his fist quickly before sending a deft uppercut into his solar plexus.

"Don't fight someone bigger and stronger than you," I said conversationally. "You're not likely to win."

Doubled over on the floor, Mike moaned something that sounded like "fucking hell."

I returned my arm to Ashleigh's waist and we left Mike fuming behind us. Glancing over my shoulder, I saw the unconcealed rage burning in his eyes. I wondered if there was even more to the story that I didn't know.

-19-

Maddock and I were sitting in his office a week later. We were mulling over the racing schedules, though neither of our hearts was really in it. It just seemed impossible for me to even contemplate racing some of the other horses when I felt so distanced from the activities on the farm. Both Kelly and Maddock had everything well under control and I had began to slowly drift away from the trackside activity altogether.

The only horses that I was actively involved with were my father's colt and Princess. I suppose the long walks with Pride counted too, although the stallion was more of an escape mechanism than anything else.

A few days previously, I had looked over the new colt's registration papers and had gone the age-old route of naming the horse using a combination of the sire and dam's names. He was out of Executive Decision by Directional. Inspiration, or some variation thereof, had hit me.

Executive Director was an appropriate name for the horse. It wasn't related in any way to the farm its self and had nothing to do with royalty. I was happy and Maddock was just glad that we had named him at long last.

"You father's hardly around here any more. I don't need his only son to suddenly disappear too." Maddock suddenly put down the paperwork he was looking at and gave me a stern look.

I blinked at him, feigning confusion. "I'm not going anywhere, Ken."

"Don't bullshit me. I know that your heart's not in it anymore. If I didn't know better, I'd say that you're only around the stables for one reason."

"Oh? What would that be?"

Maddock's eyebrow lifted. "Ashleigh Griffen."

"Now that's bullshit," I said, hiding my surprise. Was it that obvious? I wasn't even sure how I felt about her, but he was right that she was my main motivation for being there at all.

"There's something about the way you look at her that reveals the truth, son. It's just a dammed pity that she's oblivious to it." Maddock heaved a woeful sigh. "Ah, young love."

I rubbed my temples and stood. "I'm going before you suggest I marry her. I think I'll work with Ed."

"You've given him a nickname! Who are you and what have to done with Brad Townsend?" Maddock exclaimed, grasping at his chest in fake shock.

As the door shut behind me, I could hear him whistling some popular love song. It was almost enough to make me rush back in there and smack him.

There was truth in his words, but I wasn't about to act on my rather illogical feelings.

*~*~*~*

The look on Ashleigh's face was one of pure radiance as she prepared to sit astride Princess for the first time. The young filly was saddled up and Kelly had placed a mounting block in the small oval where the yearlings were trained.

Over the past few days, Kelly and Ashleigh had slowly gotten Princess used to Ashleigh's weight on her back, but they hadn't followed all the way through yet.

I stood to one side of the filly's head while Kelly held a lead rein on the other side.

"Here we go," Ashleigh said and stepped up on the mounting block. She placed one hand on Princess' neck to soothe her before leaning over the saddle, her full weight on the filly's back.

Princess stood calmly, her ears flicking back as she listened to Ashleigh's voice. I stroked her face anxiously as Kelly nodded to Ashleigh.

As smoothly as possible, she swung her leg over and sat tall in the saddle. When Princess barely reacted, Ashleigh leant slowly over to rub her neck and tell her what a good girl she was.

"Nice one, Ashleigh. I hope Ed does just as well for you," I grinned at her.

She slid from Princess' back and gave me a sassy look. "I don't know. Maybe he'd do better with you. Male bonding and all."

I was taken aback by her suggestion. I had never been the first person to ride a horse. It was work that I had never really been interested in. While I was working with Ed, I had tossed around the idea of riding him, but it had always been a whimsical idea. One that I had never taken seriously.

"I don't know…" I couldn't think of a reason to give her that didn't sound like I was too chickenshit to ride Ed. Instead, I just shrugged and said, "I'll leave that honor to you."

Ashleigh gave me a strange look, but didn't say anything. I wondered what she wanted or expected from me.

Ed's session went well. As far as I noticed anyway. My thoughts were filled with Ashleigh's suggestion and my own reluctance to ride him. It was fear that kept me off Ed's back, but of a different kind. I wasn't scared of falling off him. I was scared that I might become attached to him.

I glanced at the bay colt while Ashleigh dismounted. I couldn't start liking him. It would only lead down a road of disappointment and dreams that fail to come true.

*~*~*~*

That evening, Ashleigh and I relaxed in a plastic set of chairs outside the training barn. A soda rested in her hands; a beer in mine.

I still hadn't gotten used to the fact that we could actually relax together, but I wasn't going to say anything to her. I was starting to wonder when the illusion was going to fall apart.

"All in all, it was a pretty successful day," Ashleigh sighed and sipped at her drink.

I just nodded and stared at the setting sun. It seemed like something else was setting too. A shadow had fallen over me since we'd worked with Ed.

I felt her eyes on me and I turned to look at her. "What?" I asked, knowing what was coming.

"Something is bothering you. It has to do with Ed." She stared fixedly at me, hazel eyes searching.

Shaking my head, I tried to brush it off as nothing. "Don't worry about it."

"Too late. Talk to me."

"It's nothing, really. You're concerned over nothing." I hoped that by looking directly at her that she would drop it, but I was wrong.

"No, it's not nothing, Brad. You've been strange since I suggested you ride Ed. I know you weren't scared of him, so what is it? Why did you refuse to ride him?"

I was starting to get irritated with her on top of the mood I was already in. "I'll tell you that when you tell me what really happened between you and Mike!" I snapped at her. I had no idea where it came from. I hadn't even been thinking about it.

"I already told you, dammit! What else do you want from me? A fucking manuscript?"

"The truth would me nice. I'd love to know why I had to punch him a week ago."

"You let your ego get in the way! You didn't have to hit him!"

I gritted my teeth and stood up to face her. "No more bullshit, Ashleigh! I'm sick of it."

She jumped up too and hurtled the contents of her glass in my face. "Don't even try to pretend that you know what's going on here. You don't."

"How can I know? You don't fucking tell me anything, do you?" I ignored the sticky liquid that ran down my face. I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of reacting to it.

"You don't tell me anything either! Why was riding Ed such a big thing to you?" Ashleigh suddenly went from a raging inferno to a simmering ember. She sat down, deflated but still extremely tense.

I just shook my head and looked away from her. I didn't know what so say anymore. I felt drained to the core and I could feel my hands shaking from the emotions that were pumping through me.

"Old habits really do die hard," Ashleigh muttered. "I thought we were… whatever we were. I guess I was wrong."

"Don't expect anything from something you can't even define," I told her and walked away before she could see the look on my face.

-20-

I lay in my bed that night and replayed the fight with Ashleigh over and over in my mind. It seemed to be just one huge venting session, but it was also so much more than that. I was beginning to think that Ashleigh really did want something more from me.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I dug my palms into my face. It was well past two in the morning and I was deluding myself that Ashleigh gave a shit about me.

I knew that any chance of me falling asleep was pretty much nonexistent. I flipped on my light and got out of bed. In my bathroom, I splashed water over my face and then looked up at my reflection in the mirror.

The face that stared back at me was a mere shadow of the reflection I was accustomed to seeing. There was no arrogance or even confidence in my features. Instead, I saw a softness and vulnerability that looked out of place.

Sweeping my dark hair back, I stared intently at the stranger that I had become.

Suddenly, the phone rang from beside my bed. I rushed to pick it up, expecting something to be wrong with one of the horses.

"I don't think I can get to sleep until I speak to you." Ashleigh's voice sounded faint across the telephone line. 'I hope I didn't wake you."

I lay back down on the bed and said, "You don't need to worry about that. I've hardly slept myself. What do you want?" It came out sounding harsher than I intended.

"I… this is crazy. I should go…"

"No!" I practically yelled before she had the chance to hang up. "We do need to talk."

There was a pause on the other end of the line before she said, "I didn't mean to pressure you today. That whole thing was my fault."

"No! Oh, god, no! It was totally mine. I was in a pissy mood and I took it out on you." For some reason, I couldn't bear the thought of her blaming herself for that afternoon.

"So, I wasn't wrong then."

"No. You weren't. And I apologize."

"But that's what I called you for!" Her laugh made me relax instantly. I started to hope that it was all going to be ok.

Propping my head up against the pillow, I said, "I'm very glad you called anyway. It's quite coincidental that we're both awake."

"Not really. I kind of expected… or hoped that you'd be up now. I need to tell you about what really happened with Mike."

I almost dropped the phone. "You don't have to tell me, Ash. Really."

"It was more than just his obsession with money and owning a percentage of Wonder and Pride. He was my first real boyfriend, you know. We met each other when we were still finding ourselves. I thought it was going to be perfect having a husband with the same interests that I had, but that wasn't really how it turned out.

"Mike… I left him because I took a good look at him one day and realized that I didn't love him. Not one bit. I knew that if I were to marry him, I would be forced into becoming someone I'm not and living a life I had never wanted for myself. Sure, I love the horses. I love being a jockey, but there's so much more out there too! I didn't want to get stuck in a niche."

It was like she was singing my song. All I had started to feel about my own life the past few months was echoed in her words.

"I understand that better than you could possibly imagine," I said.

"I remember what you said about not wanting Townsend Acres. We are both very messed up individuals," The laughter in her voice wiped away the seriousness of her words. "Brad, I don't know about you, but I'm suddenly feeling incredibly tired."

"I didn't want to ride Ed because I am afraid of getting close to him," I blurted out. "Bad things happen to horses I care about."

"I felt the same way when I moved to Townsend Acres," Ashleigh said, her voice gentle. "I had promised myself that I would never fall in love with another horse again, but then I met Holly. And Wonder was born. That's probably why I fought so hard for her. I didn't want to loose another horse I cared about."

"I had never thought of it like that," I muttered and felt like a real bastard. I had been so driven to tear her away from that filly that her feelings toward her didn't really matter.

"No," Ashleigh stated. "I didn't expect that you had."

"I…"

"Good night, Brad." She cut me off softly and I heard her hang up.

I set my own phone back on the stand and switched off the light. I closed my eyes and fell asleep instantly.

*~*~*~*

"I hope you apologized to her," Ken Maddock said in greeting the next morning.

I shot him a look over my mug of coffee. "You're too damn nosy, you know that? And she apologized to me… or did I say sorry first?" I shrugged.

Chuckling, Maddock said, "I have to have something to amuse me now that it's quiet around here. I miss not being part of the Triple Crown buzz."

"Uh huh. So you decided to tune into The Brad and Ashleigh Show? Well, sorry to disappoint you. I don't think she feels that way about me." I picked up a small horse figurine that was sitting on Maddock's desk and tossed it in the air.

Snatching the tiny horse away from me, Maddock said, "Leave that alone. It has sentimental value." Setting it down in the exact spot I had taken it from, he continued, "And how do you know that about her anyway? Did you ask her?"

I laughed. "No! Why would I? I don't care either way."

'You're lying to me Brad. And give Ashleigh time. She might just surprise you."

*~*~*~*

Later that day, I stood outside Ed's stable and looked in on the grazing horse. I didn't know why, but I suddenly felt determined to be even more involved with him. Perhaps Ashleigh's words had affected me. Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that Ed was really my father's horse and I wanted to prove something.

"No more bullshit, Eddie. From now on, you're going to be my priority. I don't have much else, that's for damn sure." I reached out and stroked his mahogany neck.

Suddenly, a voice echoed down the aisle that made me cringe.

"Brad! There you are! I've missed you so much, baby!" Lavinia's arms were flung around me before I could even react to the sight of her. "I made such a big mistake last year! Well, now you don't have to worry. I'm here to stay!"

I tensed and gently pushed against her. "It doesn't quite work like that."

"Look, I know I said some really bad things, ok? We can take it slow…" She took a good look at me for the first time and her forehead furrowed. "What the hell has happened to you?"

"What do you mean?" I stepped back and looked down at myself. I was wearing an old pair of jeans and a t-shirt that had also seen better days. Not quite my former look of chinos and neatly pressed shirts. I could see why she had reacted like that. "Ok, so I'm not dressed in overly-priced clothing. What's the big deal?"

She enveloped me in a perfume-scented hug, saying, "Oh, poor baby. I knew you needed me! You look terrible!"

"Don't touch me! Don't fucking touch me!" I yelled and flung her arms from me. "I've barely thought about you in the past year! I think you'll find that I'm probably not the same person that you left all those months ago. He might have taken this bullshit from you, but I certainly won't!"

Lavinia backed off totally. Her face paled considerably. "You're right. You have changed. It's Ashleigh Griffin's fault! That whore! I heard about her and Mike Reese. She probably came running to you, didn't she?"

Something in me snapped when I heard Lavinia say the words 'whore' and 'Ashleigh' in the same breath. "You're the whore! What happened anyway? The asshole you left me found someone richer and prettier? Or did you just get bored?" I shouted at her with my fists clenched. I didn't even give her time to respond. "How fucking typical of you, Lavinia. To come running back with your tail between your legs. Well, screw that! Go find someone else's life to fuck up, you hear me? Fucking leave!"

It was immaculate timing. As Lavinia turned to go, Ashleigh walked into the barn.

There were no words to describe the look on both of their faces.

"Hello, Lavinia," Ashleigh finally blurted, sounding as collected as possible. I felt so proud of her.

"It's all your fault!" Lavinia drew back one arm and slapped Ashleigh in the face. She then strode away making little huffy noises.

Ashleigh held her cheek in one hand and swore under her breath. I was beside her in moments and placed my hand over hers against her face.

"I am sorry. I am so, so sorry. She just stopped by…" I slid my arms around her and held her shaking body against mine. "This is for the last twenty four hours," I murmured against her hair. "I wish I could make it all up to you somehow."

Ashleigh rested her head momentarily against my chest. "Don't worry about it. She's just lucky that I didn't hit her back."

We both laughed halfheartedly and I slowly let her go.

"What did she mean anyway? What's all my fault?" Ashleigh said, suddenly awkward.

"Apparently, my shabby attire and my lack of interest in her. Well, she's always blamed you for the last part." I shrugged like it was nothing.

Ashleigh didn't push me for more details. She just said, "Huh. How about that," and walked down to Pride's stable.

I stared at her and felt something in my chest tighten. Was this what it felt like? It really seemed possible to want someone so badly that it physically hurt.

If only she felt the same way.

-21-

June rolled around and Pride was ready to work. Obviously, Maddock planned on taking it slowly with him. It was still debatable whether he would ever race again though.

"Just jog him around today and let him stretch out his legs. All those walks seem to have done him good, though." Maddock met Ashleigh and I by the rail.

With Pride's reins clenched in one hand, Ashleigh looked nervous. She nodded tightly at Maddock and said, "Trust me, we're not going to take any risks."

I lifted her easily into Pride's saddle, feeling my own nerves start to kick in. That workout, no matter how slow we were taking it, was so, so important.

As soon as the big chestnut set foot on the track, his head lifted and he snorted excitedly. He tried to move out right away, but Ashleigh held him back and leant forward to whisper something in his pricked ears.

"At least Pride hasn't forgotten he's a racehorse," Maddock said with a smile. He was the only one that didn't seem too worried about Pride. Maybe he knew better than Ashleigh and myself.

We both watched quietly as Ashleigh trotted Pride along the rail. The stallion hardly looked like he'd been out of work for seven months, that was for sure. His movements were fluid despite his eagerness to go faster.

"He hasn't changed a bit, Ken!" Ashleigh stopped Pride beside us after completing a few circuits of the track.

Maddock looked pleased. "I don't know him as well as you do, Ashleigh, so I'm happy that you're happy. We'll see how he goes, but he might just race again."

I walked beside Ashleigh while she lead Pride back up to the barn. "Things are looking up," I said.

"Yeah, they are." Ashleigh had a thoughtful frown on her face. "Do you think he'll race again?"

"Sure, but that's not what I'm concerned about. Racing is one thing, Ashleigh. Winning is another."

She glared at me. "I get it. You just want a horse than can win. Never mind that fact that it took him seven months before he was even close to ready to be ridden again."

"Don't be stupid. That's not what I meant so stop trying to twist my words," I snapped back. "We have to be honest with ourselves here though. What if Pride is past his prime and he never wins anything more than a second rate allowance race? We can't just keep racing him for sentimental reasons!"

"I know all that! And I don't just want him to race for the sake of it like you seem to think either!" The small smile on her face gave away the fact that she wasn't that annoyed with me.

I relaxed. "You know, we really should stop disagreeing with each other."

"I know. It's very unproductive. But, you should tell yourself that too," Ashleigh stopped Pride and began to untack him.

Kneeling beside her, I carefully began to unwrap the bandages on his legs and roll them up neatly. "There you go, making me into the bad guy again." I swatted at her boot with my free hand.

"Aren't you?" Ashleigh looked down at me, one eyebrow raised. "I thought that was your assigned part."

"And you're the poor kid who protects all the helpless horses from my evil ways! I can see it now. We should make a movie of it!" I started laughing so hard that I almost dropped the bandage I was rolling.

It was Ashleigh's turn to give me a swat, only hers was considerably harder than the one I gave her. "I think you've lost your mind, Brad."

"I think I might just agree with you," I stood up and rested an arm on Pride's neck. "I guess you have that effect on me."

From the expression on her face, I could tell that she wasn't sure how to take the ambiguity of my comment. I decided to leave her guessing and grabbed a brush. "You're going to have to show me how to groom a horse properly. It's not one of my better skills."

"You worry me, you know that?" Ashleigh rolled hers eyes dramatically and picked up another brush. She began sweeping it in smooth strokes over Pride's body.

Huffing, the stallion rested his big head against my shoulder. I scratched his ears. "I think he likes me," I said softly.

"You've got big shoulders. Basically, you're just a nice pillow for him." Suddenly, Ashleigh's cheeks deepened in color. She turned away from me and made a big deal out of combing her fingers through Pride's tail.

I watched her silently and wondered what was going through her mind.

"Seeing as he likes you so much, you can turn him out." Ashleigh tossed the lead rein at me and quickly walked away looking flustered.

With a small chuckle, I leaned against Pride's warm shoulder. "Is it my imagination, or does she think I'm sexy?" I asked the horse.

Pride snorted and shook his head.

"What do you know anyway?" I frowned at him and lead him from the barn.

*~*~*~*

Ed knew something was up when I lead him out from his stable a week later. It was going to be the young horse's first time out on the training track and I was going to ride him.

Kelly wasn't going have do anything more than walk, but I felt oddly nervous. I patted Ed as a feeble attempt to calm my nerves down.

Prancing beside me, Ed flung his head around excitedly.

"Somebody's full of himself this morning. And I'm not talking about you." Ashleigh had just finished getting Princess ready. She leant over the filly's door and grinned at me.

I knew that Ashleigh was beyond thrilled to be working with Princess. Maddock and Kelly understood that and promised her that she would have a big say in the training process.

"Eddie's a great horse. Next year's going to be a good one." I put my helmet on and fiddled with the strap.

Ashleigh gave a curious look. "It will be. You think you'll stick around long enough?"

"I have nowhere else to go. Besides, I'm starting to find a few reasons to stay," I said and looked at her suggestively.

"Sure you have. It's a big mansion, a great yearling and no other options," Ashleigh replied in true form.

We lead the horses down to the track and I felt a twinge of frustration toward Ashleigh. Things between us would be a whole lot simpler if she would just open her eyes.

I understood that she probably had some issues with me. I understood that it was hard to just forgive and forget all that I had put her though. But, I wanted to show her that I wasn't going to deliberately hurt her again. I had thought that all we'd been through was proof enough of that.

I didn't have time to dwell on my thoughts though. Maddock was soon giving us detailed instructions about the yearlings' training session with Kelly adding in her two cents.

"Remember, be prepared for anything. There's no telling what they'll do out there," Kelly told us. '"You'll go one at a time with Dominator and Mark."

I felt like one of the staff as I went out first alongside Dominator. No one treated me like the owner's son and Mark even kept up a steady chat while we walked down the harrowed oval.

Yes, things had changed.

Ed tried to break away from Mark's hold on his lead rein, but the exercise rider and his mount were veterans at keeping control of unruly, young horses.

"He's got some spirit," Mark grinned.

We completed two laps of the track when Maddock called us aside.

"That's enough for today. He's had a good look around at everything," Maddock said and unclipped the lead from Ed's bridle.

Without warning, the colt reared, throwing me out of the saddle. I didn't see much else as I lay there curled into as tight a ball as possible. I felt Ed's hooves brush past my head and I sent a silent prayer to whoever up there was listening.

"It's ok, son. He didn't get you, did he?" Maddock's face loomed over mine. He held out his hand and helped me up.

"No. I'm fine," I mumbled and stared at Ed.

One of the grooms had managed to calm him down marginally. His sides were darkened with nervous sweat though and I could see one eye rolling in all directions.

My hands were shaking and I clenched them into fists. Blasts of pain shot up my back.

Ashleigh, after giving Princess to Kelly, had rushed over. "Are you ok?" She touched my arm gently, concern in her eyes.

"Fucking fabulous. Thanks," I couldn't help but feel angry at myself. Any decent rider would've been able to stay on Ed. I turned to Maddock. "Get Mark to ride him in future. I'm done."

Before he could say anything to me, I strode away, cursing under my breath. I felt so incompetent, so useless. Ed was basically my colt and I wasn't even able to stay on his back!

"What's this bullshit?" I didn't even notice that Maddock had followed me until he grabbed my arm and spun me around to face him. "I refuse to put up with any self-pity act from you, hear me?"

Glaring at him, I tensed my jaw and spat, "Come on, Ken! You know that I should've stayed on that rear. I'll just ruin Eddie if I keep riding him!"

"I get it. You don't need to explain anything to me, Brad. Ed's important to you. Or, at the very least, you want him to be important. Well, I have news for you. That's not going to happen until you face reality! You will fall off. You both will make mistakes! He's not just suddenly going to turn into a racehorse.

"Now, I get that you were never that involved with this part of their training. You never had the patience. But, if you really care, it's time to grow up!" Maddock's expression was furious.

Speechless, I just looked at him, my jaw slack.

"You've come so far, son. Don't disappoint me now," Maddock took one last glance at me before turning and walking back to the track.

-22-

"I hate representing the farm at stuff like this," I whispered in Ashleigh's ear. It was a few weeks after my fall on Ed and we were at a pre-Belmont party. The owners of Charm Song had sent Townsend Acres an invitation and I was forced to attend. I didn't want to go alone, so I dragged Ashleigh with me.

"Yeah, but at least they have good food. And we don't have to worry about overhearing people trashing our horse." Ashleigh smoothed back a renegade strand of hair.

I looked at her appreciatively. She was wearing an emerald green dress that did wonders for her lithe body. I made a mental note to drag her out more often. If she would let me.

"Tell me again, why are here?" Ashleigh asked, glancing around the large room.

"To socialize with people and promote Townsend Acres," I said in a put-on voice.

She rolled her eyes. "I may have to kick off my shoes soon. My toes are cramping."

"I doubt anyone will notice," I glanced down at her pumps. "They'll be too focused on other… uh… things." Letting my gaze drift back up to her face, I smiled suggestively.

Sadly, she didn't notice. Her focus was on a certain guy standing across the room from us.

Mike Reese. How unexpected.

I decided then that if I had to hit him again, I would.

"Oh, god. Now he really will think we're a couple." Ashleigh looked so worried, I had to laugh.

"Let him. Maybe he'll get over it and leave you alone," I told her. I personally had no problem with that at all.

A fast song started playing and I seized the opportunity. Grabbing Ashleigh by the hands, I said, "Let's dance!"

She tensed up, but I dragged her to the dance floor anyway. I started moving to the music and singing along as if it was something I did often.

Standing as stiff as a board, Ashleigh just gave me a dear-in-headlights look. "I can't dance!" She yelled.

"You think half these people here can?" I looked pointedly at an underdressed woman who was doing something very strange with her arms.

Ashleigh kept darting looks toward Mike, who was chatting to some breeder that my father associated with.

I was getting irritated with her paranoia and pulled her toward me. "Forget about him, ok? Let's dance!"

"I will kill you for this, hear me?" She grumbled and started moving to the beat a little.

Soon, she was getting pretty into it. Another popular song was next and Ashleigh even started singing along.

"I'm getting a drink," I told her.

"Don't leave me here alone!" She gasped and followed me to the punch bowl.

I served us each a glass and Ashleigh chugged hers down and immediately filled the glass again. "This is good stuff."

"Yeah and it's probably got all kinds of things in it." I smirked at her. "Go easy!"

"I don't know. I like it. What's so bad about punch anyway?" She tipped the glass and I watched, fascinated, as the contents disappeared.

"Fine, don't listen to me. See for yourself." I shrugged. If Ashleigh got drunk, at least my evening would be entertaining. And she would stop caring about Mike.

After she'd had her fourth glass, she grabbed my hand. "I want to dance some more!"

Well, a few drinks didn't hurt her rhythm. She bounced to the beat, her hair flying loose from the style she'd done it in.

When a slow song started playing, she didn't stop as I expected her to. Instead, she put her arms around my neck and looked into my eyes. "Come on, Brad. You want Mike to think we're together."

I raised my brows and slipped my arms around her. "If you insist."

Something about holding her like that just felt so right. That ache in my chest started up again as we swayed to the music.

And then Mike Reese just had to come along and ruin it.

"I knew it! How predictable!" Mike had managed to find his way to our sides without either of us noticing. He looked like he wanted to cause another scene.

Ashleigh blinked at him for a few moments before she said, "Oh, piss off. Lavinia's free if you're interested."

"Yeah. I think you two would make a wonderful couple." I smiled at him and then resumed dancing with Ashleigh.

I think he stood there for a moment more before sulking off.

Putting her head against my shoulder, Ashleigh murmured, "You really do have nice shoulders." She ran a hand along my chest and sighed.

I had to remind myself to breathe as she turned her eyes up to my face. She cupped my jaw in her small hand and said in a seductive voice, "I think I'm going to vomit."

I managed to get her to a well-located bush before she did just that. I stroked her back and told her it was going to be ok.

"Ugh, I feel better." She staggered back and almost fell into the pool.

Catching her, I grabbed a discarded napkin from a table and held it out to her. " I think you may want to use that."

She made some sound of acknowledgement, but didn't take it from me.

Awkwardly, I dabbed at her lips and pushed her hair back from her face. "Can you walk to the car?" I asked her.

"Yes!" Ashleigh started to walk forward, but nearly fell again.

"I think not. This is my fault. I should've given you soda." I gently picked her up and walked to the car.

"Brad, don't let my parents see me like this," she moaned. "Please?"

I frowned. She had a point, despite the fact that her words were slurred. "Promise me that you won't hate me tomorrow when you wake up in my spare room. Ok?"

"Hmm…" Her head lolled against my chest.

Carefully, I opened the back door of my car and lay her down across the seat. 'We'll be home soon," I told her.

When we reached Townsend Acres, I carried her upstairs and put her on the spare bed. I tucked the covers around her and fluffed the pillow under her head.

After double checking that she was ok, I shut the bedroom door and fell in bed.

*~*~*~*

When I woke up the next morning, I found the spare bed empty. Walking down to the kitchen, I found my unexpected guest slouched over the kitchen counter. She had a big glass of water in her hands and was staring blankly at it.

"I hear that you're supposed to drink water to cure hangovers. Staring at it isn't going to help you." I pulled up another chair and grabbed a muffin from the basket.

Ashleigh glanced at me with a tortured expression on her face. "Why did you let me stay here? It's bad enough my head is splitting but…" she suddenly stood up quickly, nearly knocking the glass over. "Oh, crap. Crap! My parents!"

"What about them?" I asked and ran my hand through my hair. I could feel that it was in it's usual state of post-sleep disheveledness.

"They are going to assume I slept with you! I have to go." Ashleigh stormed from the room and I had no choice but to follow her.

"They should know better, Ashleigh!" I called after her. "The whole racing world knows how much you hate me."

She shot me a confused look and grabbed her coat and shoes that I had discarded at the foot of the stairs. "Please, just take me home. Now."

*~*~*~*

When I dropped her off at her place, she rushed inside without looking back at me.

"Fuck!" I hit my steering wheel hard and drove back down the drive, knowing that she wouldn't want me to hang around.

I wondered what she was telling her parents right then. I wondered if she was right in her assumption that they thought she'd slept with me.

Whatever connection we had made the previous night had been shattered by my own generosity. I knew that I wasn't suddenly going to become the golden boy in her parents' eyes and that they would assume the worst from me.

It just didn't seem fair. None of it.

-23-

I watched the Belmont by myself in front of the flat screen TV that I'd hardly used since I'd bought it a year back. I had a bowl of pretzels in my lap and a beer in one hand. I considered both to be good company considering I had no other options.

Charm Song was, thankfully, defeated in the final furlong by some long shot that I hadn't heard of before. I was glad to be saved from the hype of another potential Triple Crown winner.

Switching off the TV, I sat there and picked at the pretzels without really tasting them. I wondered if Ashleigh had seen the race and if she felt the same way about the outcome that I did. Or if she even cared.

The phone beside me rang and I picked it up. "Brad Townsend," I said into the receiver, wondering who could possibly be calling me.

"Brad, this is Derek Griffen."

Oh, shit.

"Hi, uh, Mr. Griffen. What can I do for you?" I asked cautiously.

He cleared his throat and I suddenly had the feeling I was in for an incredibly long lecture. "I know that my daughter did her best to defend both her and yourself regarding the other night, but I don't believe a single word she said. For my own sanity, I would like to hear what happened from your perspective." He sounded uncharacteristically stern.

I wished I knew what she had told him, but she probably hadn't anticipated that he'd call me. I decided to tell the truth. "Ashleigh and I went out and she had one punch to many. I didn't want her to go home in the state she was in, so I offered her my spare bedroom for the night."

"Did you, in any way, take advantage of her during that time?"

The man was really laying the whole thing on thick. I was tempted to tell him to drop the interrogation act. Instead, I said, "Of course not! I respect Ashleigh. I would never…"

"Now that I find hard to believe! You having respect for anyone?" Griffen laughed bitterly. "I know all about you, Brad. Your reputation precedes you."

"Be that as it may, I still didn't touch her! What are you going to do anyway? She's an adult. I'm an adult. I think we're both capable of making choices."

"Ashleigh used to be. But, I fear that you're starting to effect her judgment. I'd prefer it if you didn't encourage her to spend time with you."

I rubbed my temples. The beer that I had been drinking suddenly seemed too soft. I wanted something stronger. Like vodka. Or perhaps tequila.

"Look… sir, I can't control her any more than you can. Now, I really have to go." I pressed the little red button and set the phone back in its cradle.

Me? Influence Ashleigh? I could only wish that I had that effect on her.

*~*~*~*

The next morning, I was preparing Ed for his morning work. I had started to get into the habit of grooming him and taking him up myself.

Standing placidly, Ed turned his head back to sniff at my butt while I tightened the girth.

"Now, now. You know I don't feel that way about you, Eddie boy," I told him and tapped his muzzle away.

I was about to swing up into the saddle when I spotted Ashleigh hurricaning her way towards me. "I don't who I'm angrier with. Your or my parents!"

"Why in the name of God's green earth would you be angry at me? You do release that I was in the line of fire yesterday? I might as well have taken a bullet for you. That's how bad it was." I jumped onto Ed's back. "Your father was not happy. What the hell did you tell him?"

She shrugged. "As much as I could remember. You got me hopelessly drunk, I passed out…"

"How nice. You made me into the bad guy to save your ass. And here I was thinking we'd progressed," I said, fuming. That explained the phone call. "You know what, Ashleigh? Some day soon you're going to have to wake up and realize that you're no longer a little girl. You don't have to keep acting like one."

She glared at me with such loathing I felt tempted to apologize. But, I was getting tired of the game. Tired of watching her switch emotions like clothing. Most of all, I was tired of having to defend myself when I'd been trying so damn hard to do the right thing.

"Enough of this bullshit, Griffen. I can't take it anymore. I can't be your friend one day and your punching bag the next. I think I'm better off with you hating me anyway. At least I know where I stand." I was about to turn away when she grabbed my arm.

"I just can't…" She fumbled over words that she wanted to say. "I just can't fall from the pedestal that my family and practically everyone else that knows me has put me on. That whole incident last weekend… well it was easier for me to let them think it was your fault."

"Because I'm the token bad guy and you're the golden girl. I get that. But, dammit, Ashleigh! Don't you ever get tired of who you are?"

Her eyes darted away from mine. "All the time," She whispered.

"Well, I'm glad that I'm not the only one. Now, I need to get to the track." I lead Ed away and didn't look back.

-24-

It was the morning of Pride's first race back. We had chosen a small allowance race at Keeneland to avoid too much exposure to the press. Unfortunately, it didn't work out that way. Reporters dogged our steps everywhere we went. They tried relentlessly to catch a few snapshots of Pride in his stable. It was almost like He hadn't been away from the track.

"For God's sake! Piss off and leave the animal alone! He needs his rest before this afternoon's race!" Maddock pushed away a particularly pesky reporter who had demanded that we take Pride out of his stable.

I leant against the brick wall beside Pride rubbing at my temples with my fingertips. "I think we need some security guards," I said.

"Or a very large shotgun," Maddock grumbled.

Smiling dryly, Ashleigh checked her watch. "We've got three hours until the first race goes off. I just hope all this doesn't affect Pride. He can be so sensitive."

Pride himself didn't seem all that perturbed. He had his head tucked in the corner of his stall and appeared to be napping soundly.

"I'm hungry. Maybe if I go get food, some of the reporters will follow me and leave Pride to sleep," I said hopefully. Not that I wanted to be bugged, but it was better than our horse getting disturbed.

Ashleigh, surprisingly, said that she would join me. We had barely spoken since that last fight. I wasn't going to push her, especially with Pride returning to the races. Ashleigh seemed tense enough.

We made our way to the track kitchen in silence. Oddly, we were hardly harassed, although I caught a glimpse of Maria deBritius, that reporter who had asked us about our relationship during the Derby.

"What are you going to have?" I asked Ashleigh and pulled out my wallet.

"Something low in fat," she sighed. "I've gained a bit of weight the past few weeks."

"Where?" I couldn't see any difference in her slim build. "Maybe it's just because you've grown your hair out. I'm sure that makes a huge difference when you weigh nothing as it is."

Ashleigh gave me an annoyed look and turned toward the lady behind the counter. "I'll have a fruit salad please. And a yoghurt."

"Hamburger with chips." I pushed aside the money that Ashleigh was about to place on the counter and replaced it with my own.

'What are you doing?" She snapped, even more irritated with me. I figured that she didn't appreciate my kind and generous offer.

I tucked the five dollar bill in her hand. "Paying for you. Obviously."

The large woman behind the counter was watching this exchange with amusement. I assumed that she knew who we were and had my assumption confirmed when she said, "Mr. Townsend! Can you and Ms. Griffen sign something for me? People won't believe I've met you!"

"Of course," I took the pen that she was holding out hopefully and scrawled a passable replica of my signature on the five dollar bill that Ashleigh wanted so badly to part with.

"Are you mental?" She hissed in my ear. "That's valuable money!"

I handed the pen to her. "Now it's worth even more. Besides, you didn't want it."

"You are such a prick," Ashleigh whispered while signing the bill.

"Hey," I said as we walked away from the beaming lady with our food. "What difference does it make to you? You've still got your rabbit chow."

It was plain from the expression on her face that that wasn't the point.

I didn't care. I had successfully irritated her again. It was so good to have the world revolving as normal.

*~*~*~*

After eating, we headed back to the stables while keeping an eye out for the press.

Walking along one of the quieter sections of the backside, Ashleigh suddenly pulled me behind a corner and stuck her head around the other side.

"I knew it," She told me, ducking back behind the wall. "Those two guys are Edward Levine and David Corbin. They own Levcor Industries and recently bought a colt for a price that made headlines."

"His name's Master Currency. I know about it but, the question is, how do you?" I raised a brow at Ashleigh.

Levcor Industries had paid a small fortune for the massive horse. Master Currency, from what I'd heard, was built like a tanker. Levine and Corbin clearly had an old school way of thinking in that they thought size mattered when it came to racehorses.

Despite my skepticism however, Master Currency had won his last race with room to spare.

Ashleigh darted a look at me. "I read. Now, shut up! I think I heard David Corbin say your name."

"I heard that Townsend Jr. took over his father's business and is screwing it up. Heard they've hardly had any runners this year," Edward Levine was saying.

"From what I've heard, Brad Townsend's a real asshole. Cares more about money than anything else…"

"Where does he got off saying that?" I whispered to Ashleigh. "Levcor made a higher net profit last year than Wal-Mart!"

She shushed me.

"… it doesn't take a genius to see that racing Wonder's Pride is a publicity stunt of his." David Corbin's voice was disdainful. "Did you see the attention the media are giving them?"

"Doesn't matter, Dave. Once Master wins his race this afternoon, they'll forget all about the Townsends and Wonder's Pride."

Grabbing my arm, Ashleigh pulled me away with her nails digging into my flesh.

I shook her off and rubbed gently at the mark she'd left on my flesh. "Ok, so I don't have any fans there," I joked, trying to make Ashleigh smile.

It didn't work. "We're not racing Pride for the reasons they say! He's back on form!"

"I know, Ash. I know." I touched her side gently while we walked. "Forget about them for now. I doubt the chances are great that our horses will ever race against their wonder colt."

*~*~*~*

Master Currency won his race that day much to my annoyance. Levine and Corbin posed in the winner's circle with gloating looks on their faces and announced that they planned on running their horse in the Breeder's Cup.

I, meanwhile, dashed to the saddling paddock to help with Pride.

"If this race doesn't go well, we have to retire him. Better than making fools out of ourselves," Maddock said to me.

I was thinking the same thing." I watched a young girl across from us wave a Pride flag. "They'll turn on him if he loses."

Maddock sighed. "I wasn't expecting this, Brad. I just hope it doesn't end up being one huge fuckup."

Nodding, I spotted Ashleigh making her way to us from the jockeys' lounge. She had her helmet under her arm and a breeze was playfully snatching at her hair. The expression on her face was one of false confidence. I knew her well enough to see the tension behind her smile.

"The other jocks feel that same way that Levine and Corbin do. I got endless grief in the change rooms now," She muttered in my ear. "Apparently, Pride will burn out before the second furlong."

I forced the frown that threatened my mouth into a bright smile. "No worries," I said between clenched teeth. "Let's just get this over and done with."

When Maddock lifted Ashleigh into Pride's saddle, bulbs flashed around us. The girl with the flag cheered loudly.

Just like Pride's last race, I made my way to the trackside to watch the race with Maddock beside me.

Pride didn't look like a washed-up horse as Ashleigh jogged him down to the start. His ears were erect and his legs stuck out smartly at the ground. I felt my spirits lift considerably.

"He's not going to let us down, Ken. He has too much class for that."

When the field broke from the gate, Pride took the lead instantly. I saw Ashleigh tighten her grip on the reins and steer Pride close against the rail.

The rest of the field slowly began to fall away. None of them had Pride's speed.

By the final turn, Pride had widened his lead to five lengths. Ashleigh glanced under her elbow and steadied him again, keeping the pace, but not letting him out all the way.

"He's done it! Oh, thank God." Maddock shot me a relieved look.

"They'll say we deliberately put him in a race where he outclassed the rest of the field," I told him. "You know they'll play this down."

"Be that as it may, I think we can enter him in a big race. We'll make more long term decisions after that."

"Long term? Like a second chance at the Classic?"

"Possibly."

-25-

"Why are you doing this?" Ashleigh gave me a suspicious look from across her bowl of fettuccine.

Winking, I popped an olive into my mouth and said, "To piss your father off."

We were sitting in a well-known Italian restaurant in town. I had insisted on taking Ashleigh out for dinner. Partly to celebrate; partly because I didn't want to spend the evening alone. I was one step away from getting a cat and figured as much human company as possible would save me from going down that road.

"Well, it's not going to happen. I told him I was out with Linda," she admitted, looking slightly embarrassed.

I shrugged. It didn't mean much to me what she told her parents. I knew it wasn't going to go much further than some small talk and tiramisu.

"Look, I'll be honest with you. I don't have many genuine friends. In fact, I think you're the only person I know who has ever been honest about they feel about me." I played with my glass of wine. "It's not a good opinion, but at least I know you aren't here to be seen with me."

With a snort Ashleigh said, "Damn right. I'm here for the food. In fact, being seen with you might not be such a great idea."

"Whatever. How's your pasta?" I didn't want to hear about how the press might twist this. All I wanted was to enjoy the evening.

"Not bad."

We ate in silence for a while. I tried not to think about how much it felt like a date, even though I snuck the occasional less-than-innocent glance at Ashleigh. I kicked myself for letting my mind and eyes wander and concentrated on my seafood pasta.

"Maddock was telling me about wanting to run Pride in the Classic," Ashleigh said suddenly.

"Yeah, I know. It's too early to decide now though. And he'll need to do well in a couple of big races before then."

"I was thinking of running him in a stakes race here in Kentucky. If he does well, then maybe we can send him up to California for a prep race and the Classic." Ashleigh had a thoughtful frown on her face. "Neither of us have any commitments here now that we're out of college."

"This is, of course, bearing in mind that Pride may never do well enough to run in the Classic. He may tank his next race."

"Well, pardon me for being optimistic! I just want Pride to have his second shot at the Classic. What's so wrong with that?" She tensed up and glared at me. "And I'm not even going to consider racing him if he does badly in the next race!"

Reaching out, I took one of her hands that had been pressed against the table. "Relax, Ash. I didn't mean it like that." I traced the ridge of her knuckle with my thumb. "When are you going to stop fighting with me?"

"I'm not fighting with you," She pulled her hand away.

"Oh, really?" I chuckled and downed the rest of my wine. "You keep up this friendly banter and I might have to make you pay for dinner."

After that, she reverted back into her usual self. Well, as close to it as she could possibly be in my company.

I drove us back to Townsend Acres where her car was. During the ride home, Ashleigh sang along to a tune on the radio while she stared out the window. I had a feeling that she wasn't even really aware of the fact that she was singing aloud.

When we arrived, she turned to me and said, "I guess I should thank you for dinner."

"Don't feel like you're forced to," I pulled the key out of the ignition and jiggled them in my palm. "I can follow you home if you'd like. It's late…"

She cut me off. "No thanks. I'll be fine."

I stared at her for a moment. Neither of us made a move to open our doors.

"Brad… what are you after?" She looked away from me.

"What do you mean?"

"Why are we here? What is this exactly? What do you want from me?"

I closed my eyes and leant back against the cool leather. "All very good questions, Ashleigh. I just wish I knew how to answer them."

"Maybe you can answer something else for me then. Tell me why I don't want to open my door and get out of the car. Tell me why my hands are shaking."

My eyes opened and I reached for her hand for the second time that night. "They seem fine to me," I said and pressed my palm against hers. Our fingers intertwined and I felt something shift in my chest.

I couldn't believe what I saw in her eyes. I wanted to. So, so badly. But, I know that it was almost impossible.

"To answer your first question, I'm after something that I can never have," I said so softly I barely heard myself.

Her hand fell away from mine and then lifted up to my face. She touched my jaw so softly I could feel her fingers shaking.

"Ashleigh…" I didn't say any more as she placed her hand against my mouth.

"God help me," She whispered and leant forward, kissing me so forcefully I was almost winded.

I kissed her back, letting her know with my mouth that this was ok. Everything was going to be fine.

Her fingers grabbed at my hair and she pressed me back against the door. My own hands found her waist and held her against me. I could feel the fabric of her shirt riding up slightly and slid my hands under it, loving the softness of her skin against my fingertips.

She pulled away with a gasp and I found the hollow of her neck and kissed her there.

"Brad… enough. Enough. This was a mistake." She placed a hand against my chest and held me back. "I'm sorry. I should never have done that."

I breathed in raggedly, trying to collect myself. "It didn't feel like a mistake, Ashleigh."

"Maybe not now. May not even tomorrow, but it will be a mistake the day you find something hotter and richer to leave me for. I can't do this, Brad."

The hurt that her words caused stung behind my eyes. "Fine. Go."

She was still sitting there, staring at me uncertainly.

"Get out of the goddamn car!" I spat.

When I heard the door close behind her, I rested my head against the wheel and swore loudly. I hit the dashboard with my palm again and again.

I knew it would never work with Ashleigh Griffen, yet I had been too stupid to stop before anything happened. It didn't matter that she had made the first move. She had been the one to push away.

Tilting my head back, I gave some sort of primordial yell toward the heavens that drained me from the core.

-26-

The next morning arrived with a distinctly fuzzy lining. I slouched down to the track with a thermos fill of coffee and a scowl on my face.

"I can tell from the look on your face and her attitude this morning that you screwed up," Ken greeted me with a dry look. "It's simple enough, Townsend! I wouldn't have thought that you two needed a manual."

"How is it so simple? She kissed me last night! I wasn't expecting that. Then, she decides to push me away and tells me I'm not good enough and that I'll leave her when something better comes along." I leant on the rail, glad that Ashleigh was on the other side of the track.

Ken raised an eyebrow at me. "She's probably right you know."

"Fuck it. I give up, I really do. I'm so tired of trying to prove myself to her," I said.

"Give her time," Ken told me.

I didn't know if I wanted to. Granted, she didn't exactly have any reason to trust me after what I had done in the past, but I had thought that the past year would have changed her opinion of me. Clearly that wasn't the case.

I would even have settled for friendship, but she just had to kiss me and change my already borderline feelings about a relationship with her.

"She went well, Ken," Ashleigh called as she rode up on a chestnut filly. She, unlike myself, looked surprisingly chipper. I wondered what 'attitude' Ken was referring to.

"Good stuff," Ken said and scanned over his notes. "She's the last for today, so you're free to go."

Ashleigh nodded, avoiding my eyes. "Thanks. I need to get a bridesmaid dress for Caro's wedding."

I snapped to attention. "Caroline's getting married?"

"Yes," She replied smugly. "To Justin McGowan. I'm glad they're finally tying the knot."

"Huh," I grunted and wondered why this news bothered me so much. I didn't have any feelings for Caroline. I don't think I ever had, even when we were dating.

Ashleigh walked her filly up to the barn and I followed a short distance behind. I intended to pressurize her for as much information as possible. It wasn't like she could hate me any more.

"What's Caro doing with herself these days anyway?" I called to her.

"Law. Justin's in politics. Caro swears he's going to be governor one day." Ashleigh began to pull the tack off the filly and she turned a hose on the horse's sweaty back.

Slumping against a wall, I realized what had bothered me earlier. Caroline was a year younger than me, yet she was getting married. She obviously had a budding career. Her whole future was probably already laid out ahead of her.

A groom took the filly from Ashleigh and she grabbed her bag from a nearby hook and tossed an envelope at me.

'You're invited to the wedding. It's in September at the Bluegrass Country Club. I think she's trying to fill her quota for socialite attendance or something. I can't see any other reason why she'd invite you."

I pulled the card out of the envelope and ran a fingertip over the embossed script. "Trust me, she did it to torture me. At this stage in my life, I don't want to be the lone bachelor at an ex's wedding."

Some kind of recognition flashed across her face. "I'm sure you can drag Lavinia to the wedding," She said finally. "At least she'll look good in any photographs."

"Watch out, Ashleigh. You'll probably get forced into dancing with every available man your family knows. Except myself, of course."

"Of course." She fiddled with a nail. "Listen, you don't have to accept the invitation, ok?"

"You'd rather I didn't?" I smirked.

"It just makes sense. I don't know what Caroline was thinking."

I pretended to mull over it for a moment before saying, "You can tell Caroline and Justin that I'll be there."

The irritation on Ashleigh's face was hopefully worth the pain I was bound to suffer at the hands of her family.

*~*~*~*

The next few weeks passed uneventfully. I was counting the days until Pride's next race, the Kentucky Club Classic. Of course, the day after that was Caroline's wedding.

I went to Turfway one weekend to watch one of our older horses run in a Grade 3 stakes. Ashleigh had turned down the ride as she was presumably busy with wedding plans. Kelly had found a replacement jock, Lyle Trimble.

Meandering around the backside, I spotted Mike Reese. I was about the duck my head move on when I saw an even more familiar person walk up and plant a kiss on Mike's face.

Uncontrolled, I stormed up to them and yelled, 'Now what the fuck is going on here?"

Both Mike and Lavinia turned to look at me with surprise. It was only then that I noticed how different Lavinia looked. All the haughtiness was gone from her beautiful face. There was a softened look in her eyes that I had never seen before.

I backed off and raised my hands up in a gesture of apology. "Ok, I shouldn't have done that. It's none of my business."

"It isn't. But, you do owe me one, I suppose." Mike slid an arm tenderly around Lavinia's waist. "And I'm more than happy to explain this."

Lavinia smiled up at him like he was the best thing since leather pumps. "I'll leave you boys to talk, ok? I need to run some errands."

I blinked rapidly to clear my head and wondered what crazy alternate universe I'd stepped into.

Mike glanced down at his watch. "Want to go the bar and grab a beer? I need to tell you some things that are probably best taken with alcohol."

-27-

A country song was playing over the speakers, seeming out of place in the Irish-themed pub. There were Shamrocks everywhere and a sign boasted that the O'Reilly Tavern served "Genuine fare from the heartland of Ireland".

Mike and I found a couple of vacant barstools and Mike leaned over the counter. "Give us whatever you have on tap!"

The lusty bartender smiled flirtatiously at us. "Anything for you fine-looking boys." She said in a robust Southern drawl.

"I feel like I'm on crack. For one thing, I'm here with you. Which would normally bother me. And, for another, this place has to be the most culturally impaired pub I have ever been in." I perched on my barstool and accepted the glass of frothy dark brew that the bartender gave me.

"I love it. Plus, they have great food," Mike told me and swigged at his own beer. "So, where do I begin?"

"How about at my father's Breeder's Cup party? I think it all started then."

Mike frowned and then started speaking, "Yes. I can see how you'd think that. Actually, it started a while before that. I was getting tired of the ambiguity in our relationship. I wanted something a lot more permanent. So, I asked Ashleigh if she would consider marrying me."

"That was probably close to the time I was considering asking Lavinia that very same question," I grinned at him. It had been so long since I'd had a guy friend to share a beer with, I must've been getting desperate for company.

"Isn't it funny how that works? Well, Ashleigh said she'd think about it. I was willing to giver all the time in the world for a definite answer.

"Then, the party. I was chatting to some breeders about Pride. Now, I get that it wasn't my decision to make, but they were interested in both him and Jazzman. I was fully prepared to let you and Ash deal with it with me. The breeders wanted a joint deal with both stallions as they were both at Whitebrook. I was talking about the possibilities of this with them. It was never anything definite. Suddenly, she flipped out and headed toward the buffet, saying something about being hungry."

I laughed then at the memory of Ashleigh stuffing her face with gourmet snacks. "Oh, I remember! I had no idea she liked eating when she was stressed out until then."

Mike smiled too. "She can get like that. Anyway, after that night, everything became an issue. It may have been as a result of her accident. We began to fight over little details. I was stupid enough to bring up marriage again. I told her that I couldn't stand not knowing anymore. I wanted something concrete. I wanted to be there for her and all she was doing was pushing me away. I told her all that.

"Well, that was a mistake. The next thing I knew, she had tossed the ring back at me and Pride had returned to Townsend Acres." Mike shrugged like it was nothing, but the hurt from all those months back was still visible in his face.

"She was scared of commitment." I gazed into my beer. Suddenly, it all made sense.

Mike sipped at his and plucked a stale peanut from the bowl in front of us. "I may have pushed her too much though. Anyway, it doesn't matter. I just thought you needed to know. Especially seeing how close you've become to Ashleigh."

"Close? She fucking hates me!" I told him about the evening a few weeks back. I told him everything, possibly more than I would've shared with Ken.

"Come on, Brad. She obviously cares about you. I think a part of her always has, despite what you've said to her. That's why she turned to you of all people. She's just scared. As scared as she was when I proposed to her!" Mike called over the bartender and ordered a basket of chicken strips. "And give my buddy here something strong. In the bottle. I think he needs it."

"Aw, hon. Bad break-up?" The bartender reached out and stroked my cheek with a fingernail. "Don't worry. Evangeline's gonna make you feel all better."

"Nothing like that. He's dating my ex and I'm in love with his," I told Evangeline.

Throwing back her head with a raucous laugh, she said, "I think that calls for some of our special brew. On the house"

When Mike and I had shot glasses of stuff that smelt like a strange combination of paint thinners and gasoline in front of us, I said to him, "Before we get too smashed, how did you end up with Lavinia?"

"I was hoping to get you drunk before I told you that," Mike laughed. "Actually, I met her here. I was feeling lonely and intended to get really wasted and I saw her in the corner there. She looked so lost and alone that I practically had no choice but to buy her a drink.

"Things improved from there. We chatted about how shit dating was. Next thing, I was seeing her almost every day."

"Must be fate," I tipped back my glass and cringed as the alcohol hit the back of my throat.

Mike threw down his own drink and coughed violently. "Shit, Evangeline, what the hell is that?"

"My dear boy, if I told you that, I'd have to give you another shot," Evangeline winked.

"I'd rather not know," Mike groaned. "I think I can feel this one going to my head as it is."

I was starting to feel a similar sensation as the shooter made its way into my bloodstream. I propped my chin upon my hand. I felt wonderfully relaxed.

Mike's chicken strips arrived in a napkin-lined basket. He shoved them across the bar toward me and demanded that I help myself.

"It's so funny. Women can make you life hell, but you want them around anyway." Mike plucked a fry from the basket. "I must say though, Lav's been great. She's not the bitch that Ashleigh made her out to be."

With the slightly intoxicated buzz I was feeling, I had become rather chatty. "Please. Lavinia is a bitch. For some reason, she must just really, really like you."

"It's my charismatic charm," Mike said with a grin.

"I think you were just nice to her," I shrugged. "I certainly wasn't. And her family life was fucked up. You're like a ray of… uh…" I searched for the words through the haze in my head. "A ray of light?"

'It's 'sunshine', Brad. No more drinks for you."

I wasn't about to argue with him. The room was starting to tilt and I wondered if I'd sober up before the race.

Mike and I stumbled out of the pub and back down the street toward the track. Evangeline had offered to call us a cab, but Mike had insisted that we'd be ok.

"Hey, man?" I turned to Mike before we parted ways.

"Yeah?" He smiled at me.

"Sorry about that… uh… sorry I hit you a few months back. You know how it goes."

Mike shrugged. "I'll get you back for it one day, Townsend," He said and gave me a faux look of warning.

I just shook my head and walked off. Mike was a better person than I had ever given him credit for.

-28-

Ashleigh looked incredibly stressed when I saw her again the next week. She was standing by the track with Ken and was telling him about the upcoming wedding.

"It was so sudden! Caro's all freaked out about the caterers and the music and the flowers. My mom's trying her hardest to help her out but everything she suggests is wrong. I feel like I'm caught in the middle." She flung her hands up in the air exasperatedly.

Ken chuckled. "You think it's bad now. Wait until you get married. I've been there and done that."

"I had no idea you were married," I looked at him in surprise.

"Oh, yes. She divorced me just before I started working here. Apparently I was too busy to be a committed husband," Ken said.

Touching his shoulder, Ashleigh told him how sorry she was. "That's horrible. And probably just shows that I should never get married."

"There's a lid for every pot." Ken gave me a meaningful look which I decided not to react to.

Kelly walked up to us, a clipboard under her arm. "You'd think none of you people worked," she teased and nudged Ken gently with her elbow.

"This is work!" Ken snatched the clipboard from her and pretended to read over something. "Uh huh, that's just what I was thinking," he nodded thoughtfully at the notes she'd made.

Kelly rolled her eyes. "You are full of shit."

"If my father was here, he'd fire us all and kick me out of the house," I grinned. My father would definitely not be happy with the relaxed atmosphere that had fallen over the farm. 'That might not be such a bad thing, actually."

Ashleigh glanced at me. "Where is he anyway?"

"I have no idea. I think he's found another woman in Italy or something. Who cares?" I shrugged.

I was half hoping that I'd get a phone call from him telling me that he'd sold off Townsend Acres. But, that would leave Ashleigh in a predicament and myself without a home.

"Let's get to work!" Ken clapped his hands. "Ashleigh, you're on Special Force. Brad, go and get Playing it Straight. Now people!"

Ashleigh saluted him and I just laughed.

*~*~*~*

I was sitting in my office a few mornings later when the phone rang, startling me out of my stupor.

"Brad, this is your father. How are you?" My father sounded pretty formal for a guy who was speaking to his only son for the first time in a while.

"Good. Everything's good," I said. I couldn't help but feel slightly edgy.

My father cleared his throat. "I have some unfortunate news, I'm afraid. I'm heading back to the States to sign some paperwork. I had I reasonable offer for Townsend Acres. One that I am inclined to accept. We've had a dismal two years and I can't afford to lose anymore money…"

"What?" I demanded, cutting him off. "You've sold the farm?"

"Not without some degree of thought…"

"It can't have been much! You didn't even bother telling me about it, did you?" I was furious, but beyond that anger lay the foundations of a much more powerful emotion. Fear.

My father sounded equally angry when he spoke next. "I have given you an undue amount of day in the running of that place. Look at the shambles it has become! We should have had a Derby runner this year, but your sloppy management prevented that from happening!"

"I had nothing to do with Destiny! If you had been here, you would know that!"

"I'm not going to argue about this, Brad. I have established a promising business out here and I need the cash flow. You, my boy, are just going to have to accept it. It's abut damn time you learned to stand on your own two feet for a change!"

I didn't know what to say. My mouth opened and closed several times before the words came. "You can't do this!"

His laugh sounded oddly mirthful. "My dear son. I can do whatever I want. We have one month to sell off the stock that the buyer isn't going to take. I suggest you let all the employees know the situation." He hung up then, probably to avoid hearing what I had to say.

*~*~*~*

"Selling the farm? I never thought I'd see the day!"

I rubbed my temples and gave Mike a resolute look. "Oh, it's happening. I just don't know what to do. You're the first person I've told."

Dangling his legs from his stool, Mike stared into his beer for a few moments while digesting the information. "Man, I wish I knew what to tell you. I don't," He said finally.

"It just pisses me off that he didn't even talk to me about it first. What am I going to tell Maddock and Kelly? Or Ashleigh?" I dreaded breaking the news to her. It seemed like something that would set off her anger toward me again.

Mike shrugged. "Look man, I'm not going to bullshit you. I don't think Ken or Kelly are going to have to try hard to find jobs. Ashleigh will make a plan. It's your own situation you have to worry about."

He was right. It was something I had avoided thinking about, but what was I going to do with myself? Milk cows on some farm? Teach children the fundamentals of posting to the trot?

"Anyway, I need to run back home. Lavinia's coming over later." Mike gave my shoulder a whack. Don't stress out about this shit. It'll all solve its self."

I wished that I could believe him.