Disclaimer: Peter Pan, all characters, places, and related terms belong to J.M. Barrie.

Author's Note: Rating is for Mary Sue bashing and death. My humble attempt at writing humor.

Code Red

Mother Knows Best

"Oh! You were so brave, Peter-poo!!" Mary Susanna Crawford gushed, now that all had ended well after the little skirmish between the pirates and lost boys. She tossed her head, reminding everyone of her great childish beauty: long reddish-golden locks (every hair perfectly in place), a fair complexion (freckle-free, unlike others she could name), rosebud mouth (with ten hidden kisses), and bright green eyes (they matched Peter's exactly, so of course it was a sign they were soul mates).

"Yes, I know!" Peter proudly agreed. Looking at the girl beside him, he saw the adoration shining in her eyes. Throwing his head back, he let out a crow.

From the back of the group Wendy frowned darkly. She was scandalized how unashamedly cheap this girl was being with Peter. He, however, basked in all the attention and flattery. The other boys had all fallen over themselves around Mary when she had first joined the gang. It had been pitiful to see. Yet Mary had quickly made known her preference for Peter and, it being returned, the boys soon were left to mope about.

"You are the most wonderful boy in the whole world!"

Wendy grimaced at Mary's high-pitched, sugary sweet tone, and sighed with despair as Peter let out another loud crow.

"Mother! Mother, look!" the twins called in one excited voice, drawing her attention to them and the huge cake with thick icing they were carrying between them.

Everyone talked at once.

"We found it—"

"—over there in the brush!"

"How delightful!"

"It looks so good!"

"May we please have some?"

Wendy firmly took the cake from the twins. Inspecting the mouthwatering treat, she shook her head. "I'm afraid this cake is much too rich for you all."

"But I want cake now!!" Mary cried, stamping her foot delicately. Dragging Peter by the hand, she stormed over to Wendy and grabbed a handful of cake and shoved it in her mouth over the girl's protests. It was so rich and good! And heavy, gooey, sickly, and… Uh oh…

THUD! Mary fell to the ground like a tree. Just as Hook had planned, the poisoned icing did its fateful work. Only instead of killing Pan, Mary was the unlucky one. POOF! She disappeared in a flash of hot pink smoke and sparkles.

Unfortunately, or fortunately (depending how you looked at it), there was no tears or laments for Mary Susanna Crawford's passing/disappearing.

"You see!" Peter cried and wagged a disapproving finger at his band. "Never, ever start eating before your Captain does. Or else I will banish you forever like I did Kitty!"

Expression at first stern, then quickly crumbling into a cocky smile – it was hard for Peter to be serious, after all – he led the others in a delightful game of tag.