A/N: Apologies if this doesn't make a lot of sense to anyone outside UK. Plot Bunny came looking for carrots just before "Casualty" started tonight!

You've Got To Be In It To Win It

Jack picked up his telephone and looked at the screen. It displayed the name "Ianto".

"Hey there." he said, his voice rich with pleasure. "I wasn't expecting to hear from you again today. I thought you were having an early Saturday night?"

"It's only nine o'clock," said Ianto, somewhat incongruously.

Jack detected an unusual tone in Ianto's voice. "Are you OK?" he asked tentatively. In the background, he could hear the sound of a television programme starting, its theme music was familiar.

Ianto gulped. "Jack, do you want the good news or the bad news?"

Jack raised an eyebrow instinctively. "Surprise me," he said, suspecting that Ianto was about to do exactly that.

"Well, you know the national lottery?" asked Ianto.

"Mmmmm," said Jack, warily. "You take 20 pence from each of us, every Friday afternoon, so that our Torchwood syndicate can buy one ticket in the Saturday night lottery draw."

"Yup," said Ianto. "That's it. Well, the good news is that we just won six million pounds in tonight's draw."

Jack sat down with a thud. "Oh. Ah. What? Really? Heck! Are you sure?"

Ianto sighed deeply. He wasn't looking forward to the next part. "Yes, Jack, we did. We really did. We've each won over a million quid."

Jack was slowly regaining his composure. "!"

Ianto waited. Then came the question he was dreading.

"So, Ianto, if the good news is that we've won the national lottery, what's the bad news?"

Ianto screwed up his eyes, grimaced, ran his hand over his face and finally took the plunge. After all, there was no real alternative.

"When I bought the ticket, I forgot to tick the box that said 'no publicity'."

The End

Well, it could happen to anyone, couldn't it?