So this is short, because it's an epilogue. Which means it's the end. Most likely you will all hate me for this, but I don't care. It's how I'm ending it.

Enjoy the non-conclusiveness.

Music: this modern love breaks me, this modern love wastes me

"Hey."

The voice was wary, hesitant, and she looked up.

Ryan Atwood.

She hadn't talked to him in nearly five months; she'd seen him around campus a few times and he'd nodded at her in greeting, but they hadn't talked. For some reason, though, he dropped his tray onto the table and sat down across from her.

"Hi."

"What're you reading?" he nodded at her book, picking up his bottle of iced tea and shaking it around, but not opening or drinking it.

"The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay," she recited. "It's really long and it's taking me forever to read."

"Seth loves that book," he smiled fondly and she remembered he probably hadn't seen his brother in a little over two months.

"It's ok," she shrugged. She'd picked the book up at work because the cover was interesting. That's how she picked out books; by their covers.

There was an awkward pause as he shook his iced tea and she stared down at the book.

"So how do you like Berkeley so far?" he broke the silence.

"It's nice."

"You going to the charity thing tonight?"

She furrowed her brow at him. "What charity thing?"

"The charity concert. I take it you're not going, then."

"I don't pay much attention to extracurriculars. I mostly just go to class and work."

He finally looked up at her and she saw a strange emotion flicker over his face. Then it settled back; smooth as stone. "Marissa and I are going tonight, if you wanna come."

"You're dating Marissa again?"

It wasn't jealousy that sparked in her chest; she was certain of that. It was just a sudden sense of weariness. Because if he was dating Marissa again, what had been the point? What had been the point of their trysts? The whole thing had been for him to get over her; to move on. Not to fall back to her again.

"No," he backtracked, leaning back in his chair. "She's just not adjusting to college life real well, and I'm…"

"Helping her adjust," she supplied, frowning slightly.

"Well, when you say it like that, it sounds bad."

"So make it sound good, then."

"I guess I can't. But we're not dating; she's still seeing Johnny. He's in some surf competition, but he calls her every day and he sends her emails and she flies out to see him compete every other weekend."

"So she's not settling into college because her head's with Johnny," she closed her book and decided to eat.

"I guess."

"How are you fitting in?"

"Good, I guess. It's weird; that I'm doing better than her. I have a couple friends; it's weird."

"It's good," she told him, shrugging.

"Yeah. How about you?"

"I keep to myself, mostly. Like I said, I work a lot."

"I guess I shouldn't be surprised," he sighed, rubbing the back of his neck again.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It's just," he started, averting his eyes from her. "I thought maybe after… what happened, maybe you'd change, you know? Try to get to know people? I guess I'm just being too vain, though, thinking I'd helped you."

"You did help me," she said softly, staring down at her plate and swirling her salad around with her fork. "I was… I was going through a rough time and I want you to know, you did help me. I never got to thank you for it."

"You don't need to," he kept his voice low. "You helped me, too. I don't regret it."

"Me neither."

She pushed the same piece of lettuce around on her plate.

"Come to the concert with us tonight." She looked up at him finally; his face unreadable. "If you're worried about Marissa, don't be. She's changed, now that she's not in Newport. She'd probably actually like seeing someone she knows."

She hesitated.

It wasn't Marissa she was worried about.

His eyes caught hers and she blinked.

"Alright."

He smiled.

review