Time Is Not On My Side

A Star Trek: TNG/Dr Who (10th) crossover fanfic. (I hate you, Ben.)

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: Obv I don't own these characters, Paramount and the BBC do, but I like to take 'em out to play once in a while. My profound eternal love and thanks to Russell T Davies and Gene Roddenberry for inventing these worlds and characters.

Summary: Ever wonder what would happen if the TARDIS landed on the Enterprise-D? The Doctor and Donna find themselves onboard as the Enterprise docks at a space station. Hijinks ensue, none of them wacky.

NEW A/N, please read!: Finals are over and so are the holidays! Expect an update from me at some point this week. That will be Chapter 3. The positive reviews are great, thanks so much for reading everyone! And...Happy New Year! ^^

The dashing young man in the sport jacket, slacks and Converse low-tops flipped a switch. The red-headed woman gasped in delight at the scene that burst onto the viewer-screen in the TARDIS' center console.

"What--what is it, Doctor? It looks like San Francisco in the US," she commented.

"That it is, Donna Noble, but it's San Francisco in a world ever so slightly different from yours--and about three hundred and fifty years in your future, give or take."

"Three hundred fifty years! Ooh, Doctor, this...traveling with you, I mean...it never gets old."

The Doctor grinned at her enthusiasm and stepped around the console to press a button, pull a lever, throw a switch and generally act like a rhesus monkey on crack cocaine--standard operating procedure for "driving" the TARDIS, his time-and-space traveling machine (Time And Relative Dimension In Space).

"We should touch down there by Starfleet Headquarters--and of course, the related Academy--in just a mo--"

A resounding CRASH, somewhat synonymous with a planned trip in the TARDIS, resounded throughout the control room.

"Have we hit something again?" asked Donna, more intrigued than irritated.

"Seems like it," replied the Doctor, circling the console like a hyperactive grasshopper, checking a gauge here and a thermostat there. "I see the problem now--we got in the way of a ship's warp drive. See, when the ships go to warp--that's faster-than-light travel, which is, by the by, possible, and common in this day and age--they have to be a certain distance from a planet or else the planet's gravitational pull--well, it's all very technical and the point is, we're going to be somewhere aboard a Starfleet vessel, I wager, once we get out of the TARDIS."

"Starfleet?" she queried, grabbing her jacket from where it hung and following him to the door as soon as he finished his cursory check of the TARDIS' systems.

"Yeah," he answered, leaning his head outside the vessel. "They're protectors and diplomats for the Federation. That's something like your Earth's United Nations, only for alien races and species from outside the Earth. Headquarters is in San Francisco in what was California. Time Lords know about this Earth but, well, dunno why, really, but none of us ever bothered to come here much. The human race sorts itself out, here, and I never saw fit to get involved. Not yet, anyway," he finished with a grin. By this time they were halfway across what looked like a cargo hold, a vast, cavernous room with bright halogen lighting and silver-gray wall paneling. A clearly-marked sliding door stood only a few more steps' walk in front of the pair.

This sliding door slid open.

Standing behind it was an imposing-looking man in a yellow uniform, carrying a weapon that looked like a laser-gun. Next to and behind him stood two women and another man, all much smaller than he. It was clear that the leading man was not human.

Donna stopped short in her tracks, but the Doctor took two more steps and then stopped, casually, as if waiting at a bus stop, and chirped, "Hullo!"

"Identify yourselves," commanded the large man. He had deep ridges on his forehead and reddish-brown skin, and an impressive braid of shining black hair. His bearing and appearance put Donna in mind of portraits she had seen of Native North American warriors of old--only with forehead ridges.

"I'm the Doctor, and this here is Donna," the Doctor said amiably. "And you are?"

Without relaxing his guard, but with a less stern tone of voice, the ridged man answered, "I'm Lieutenant Worf. How did you come to be aboard the Enterprise?"

"Oh, so this is the Enterprise!" From his tone, one might think the Doctor delighted to discover a favorite sweet in his pocket.

Lieutenant Worf raised an eyebrow, which disappeared into the ridges. "It is, Federation Starship Enterprise, NCC-1701-D. What," he indicated the TARDIS, "is that, and again, how did you come to be aboard the Enterprise?"

The Doctor wasn't listening to Worf, however; he was busily explaining Federation history to a rapt Donna. "Y'see, the Enterprise is very well-known for being a...well, an enterprising vessel, no pun intended of course! The captain even had a battle maneuver named after him, oh, it was quite spectacular! You see--"

"Doctor," the security officer broke in, clearly becoming annoyed at being ignored.

"Oh, right, then. Uhm, well, we're travelers, Donna and I, and we've gotten a bit off-course. We mean no harm, just visiting about in the, erm, the...Alpha Quadrant, yeah, that's right! This is the Alpha Quadrant, isn't it?"

"It is."

"Yeah, our ship got caught in your, uhm, what's-it-called, warp thingamajiggity--"

"Warp signature?"

"Yeah, that...thing...and well, anyway, warp interferes with the operation of my ship's navigational...thingity, and so we found ourselves in here. But now that we are here, why don't we make friends and stay a bit, mm? I know this is a diplomatic vessel, isn't it?"

Worf was clearly confounded as to how the Doctor seemed to know so much about the Enterprise, the Alpha Quadrant, and the operation of a warp drive without knowing what is a warp signature. His cool composure unshaken, though, Worf took his hand off of his phaser and turned to his companions.

"We'll take them to the Captain. They aren't a threat." The three other security officers nodded assent and motioned the Doctor and Donna to follow. As they headed out of the cargo bay, the Doctor's voice carried over his shoulder.

"This is the Enterprise-D, then, yeah? That means Captain John Picard?"

Miffed, as the door slid shut, Worf snorted as he corrected, "That's Jean-Luc Picard. A fine man. Good captain. Heart like a Klingon warrior."

Donna's voice was the final comment on that: "Klingon??"

The Bridge of the Starship Enterprise

"Mister Data, ETA for the Benarin Space Station?" The Captain's voice was strong and sure, and all of the bridge officers were on alert when he spoke, even if they didn't look up from their own workstations.

An eerily pale man with golden eyes did look up, however, as he was the officer being addressed. "One day, fourteen hours on impulse power, Captain," he replied crisply. Captain Picard nodded.

"Thank you, Mr Data. All right, I'll be in my Ready Room. Number One," he directed at a broad-chested man with a neatly-trimmed beard, "you have the bridge."

"Number One" nodded. "Aye, Captain."

As Jean-Luc Picard turned away from the Captain's chair, however, his comm unit beeped.

"Captain," came Worf's voice, "I have apprehended the intruders in Cargo Bay four. They are neither armed nor, apparently, dangerous."

"Very well, Mister Worf," answered the Captain, "Bring them to my Ready Room."

"Aye, Captain," Worf answered.

Within moments, the Klingon security chief herded the Doctor and Donna into Captain Picard's presence. He looked them over, coolly appraising their dress and scrutinizing their faces.

"I should say 'Welcome aboard the Enterprise', however, most of my guests ask permission to board my ship," the Captain said. Though his tone was light, the time travelers heard the backbone of steel in him. The Doctor could sense his limits already, and knew better than to mock the Captain. Here was a man with whom no one tangled for fun.

"Terribly sorry to arrive so rudely," the Doctor said sincerely. "A bit belated, I'd request permission to board, but we're already here, so why quibble?" The Captain nodded.

"What brings you to the Alpha Quadrant, then? And how did your ship manage to get aboard mine? We didn't detect any of the cargo bay doors opening since we left Earth's orbit, and that was six hours ago. No foreign life forms on the ship, and no one mentioned any stowaways."

"Well yeah, y'see..." The Doctor considered a moment, and then indicated the chair facing the Captain's desk. "May we sit?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, do have a seat," Captain Picard replied, the overhead lights barely glinting off his smooth-shaven head. In fact, upon taking command of the ship, Picard had the office redone so that the overhead lighting fixtures were too muted to make a great reflection on his pate--by his logic, it is difficult to take one's captain seriously when said captain glows like a buoy every time he leans forward.

Donna and the chipper Time Lord seated themselves. Worf hovered near the door, keeping a hawkish eye on the pair.

"So as I was saying, we're travelers. We travel through space and time, helping here and there, interfering in other people's lives," the Doctor said. Honesty, he reasoned, is always the best policy; and for some reason, he trusted this Captain. Perhaps it was simply Picard's demeanor, or the history lessons that the Doctor vaguely remembered regarding the evolution of the United Federation of Planets. Perhaps it was because the Doctor planned on having a bit of fun in this plane. Any which way, he decided to just tell the truth.

Captain Picard raised an eyebrow. "Perfected time travel? Risk-free, as it were?"

"No," answered the Doctor.

"There are always risks," Donna piped up, and the Doctor nodded.

"The travel itself is relatively safe, at least, compared to the primitive form you people have nowadays."

The Captain considered bristling at the intimation of barbarism with the Doctor's use of the word "primitive", but instead lowered his eyebrow and leaned back, forming a tent with his hands.

"I see."

"It's true," Donna said. Up until that point, except for a few scattered exclamations, she had been quiet, which was out of character for her.

"And you are?" Picard addressed her finally.

"Oh, we've been rude, haven't we? I'm Donna Noble, and this is the Doctor," she said.

Captain Picard inclined his head towards them. "In case you hadn't figured it out, I am Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the Federation Starship Enterprise. Welcome aboard, Donna Noble and the Doctor. I think we can learn a lot from each other."

The Doctor grinned his ever-spunky grin and sat up straight. "So we're allowed to stay on a bit, then?" he asked eagerly.

Captain Picard tried hard to look stern but failed in the face of the Doctor's boyish sparkle. "I suppose so, yes. But don't forget, I have a very capable security team. Now...would you like the tour of the ship?"

"Oh, yes please!" Donna exclaimed, and the Captain allowed himself a smile in her direction.

"Well then, Mister Worf, if you've nothing more exciting on your daily itinerary..."

Worf tried not to look horrified. A delightfully cheery and cheeky Time Lord was certainly not his idea of a fun guest. "Of course Captain."

The Doctor turned to beam at Lieutenant Worf. "Won't we have a grand time!" Clapping the Klingon on the shoulder jovially, the Doctor headed out, followed by Donna. Worf turned to give a final, pleading look to the Captain.

"Oh, now, Mister Worf, don't look so down. I have a feeling this Doctor has secrets we want to know."

"Aye, Captain..." he answered, still looking less than thrilled.

Hope you enjoyed, concrit loved and welcomed of course!