Mesmerized by you...Part 1.

It was getting dark and the setting darkness had slowly but certainly claimed it's rightfull grip over the quiet konoha village. There was a slight chill in the still evening air, the freezing sensation sinking it's claws into ones exposed skin like a silent secret whisper of the soon to come autumn. Lee was slowly making his way home through the deserted streets, his head lowerd and his eyes fixed unfocused on the ground before him as he walked. His arms tightly hugging his stomach, as if in pain, protecting himself against a danger no one but he could see. The streaks of black hair swaying across his face at every step seemed to be desperatly trying to conceal his brow, wrinkled in deep thought, an ait of sadness surrounding him. It was dark now, no one would see him, he could let his true emotions float up to the surface and reflect in his features without worrying about others seeing. During the days he put on a mask of happiness and went through the days as normal as he could. But it was tiering. Tiering to keep up the pretence of happiness when depression so clearly was threatening to consume him. His thoughts being far away, he had not paid attention on the gathering darkness during his training out in the woods and hadn't realized how late it was until he could hardly see his own hands infront of him. This wasn't the first time this had happened. The training being the only thing able to distract him from any other thoughts, even if it didn't last for long, he needed a break. Suddendly his feet stopped, as if they had had a mind of their own, and his whole body came to a halt. When he raised his head and looked up through dark forelocks, Lee noticed that he was standing right outside his own front door. He didn't really remember how he had gotten there, and he didn't care much either. His eyes, now wide open, slid over the door to settle on the woodden mailbox next to it. A glimmer of hope flashed up from the depths of his dark eyes as his hand reached out to lightly touch the rough surface, not yet worn smooth by years of harsh weather, with his fingertips, building curage.

"Please. Please...!" he begged from the bottom of his heart as he quickly flipped open the lid to reveal it's hidden content... It was empty. With a heavy sigh, the hope yet again gone from his eyes, he let he lid fall closed on it's own as he opened the door and entered his small apartment. He didn't understand what could have happened. They used to write to each othere very single day they where appart. It had been a joy to come home and find a letter from his love in the mail every day. But then, almost a month ago, the letters from Gaara had suddendly stopped coming. After this, Lee had written several letters to Gaara, but still no reply. Surely he just had a lot of things to do, or he was out on a mission and didn't have the time to write letters right now. It happened some times, but after almost a month of silence Lee had started to worry. Had something happened? Was Gaara injured? Or, as he against his will had started to fear, was is something worse...?

Well inside, Lee paused in the hallway to remove his well worn blue sandals and settle them neatly on the floor in the corner closest to the door. Through the half darkness he could barely make out the siluetts of two open doorways, one to the left and one to the right, leading to two of the three rooms making up Lee's entire appartment. Familliar as he was with his surroundings, Lee didn't bother to turn on the light as he headed through the doorway at his left and passed through the, from the moon outside, slightly up lit livingroom with it's one, cosy, white couch and small table to get to his bedroom at the other side of the appartment.

While putting on his simple pale green pyjamas he couldn't stop thinking about it. Thoughts of different possibilities and situations constantly occupied his mind. He had begun to realize that his worst fears might have become reality. Over and over again had he gon through the last letter he had sent to Gaara, before the letters had stopped, in his mind to see if there was anything there, anything at all, that might cause Gaara to stop writing to him. But there was nothing. No argue, no accusations, nothing...

"So why then...?" Lee thought as he gently sat down on his soft bed covered in crisp sheets, making the unwrinkled, fresh cloth close in around him, as if comforting him.

"...why won't you answer me?" Looking out through his opened window at the now dark blue sky prickled with shining stars, the thoughts he didn't want to have came over him again. He always surpressed them, pushed them deep down to the darkest most deserted parts of his soul, but this time the feelings were too strong and ha couldn't fight them anymore.

A single tear had fought its way through his resolve and silently trailed its way down his pale cheek. Staring, still, at the glittering stars covering the night sky, his eyes brimming over with held back tears, a silent whispered thought passed over his quivering lips.

"Have you changed your mind? Don't you love me... anymore?"It was so painful. His heart was acing. For all he knew the pain couldn't have been worse even if it had been a real, physical injury, threatening to take over his entire world, his entire being, the pain leaving him alone and defenceless in a big dark room with nothing but pain to keep him company and no possible way to fight it. His hands were gripping the sheets on both sides of him so tight that his knuckles were turning white. Closing his eyes tightly shut, the remaning tears gently rolling down his cheeks before dripping from his chin on to his lap, leaving traces of small, hardly noticeable wet spots on the fabric of his pyjamas. No! He didn't want to believe that. Gaara loved him, and he loved Gaara, that's what he believed. Angry with himself for thinking of such possibilities, he quickly whiped away the traces of remaning tears and lay down under the covers of his bed to sleep. But as much as he tried to fight it, the thoughts were still there when he fell asleep and continued to haunt his dreams that night, turning them into nightmares.

He was so tired... It was a miracle he had been able to get out of bed and get dressed without losing contiousness because of the way his head was spinning so violently. Nightmares, invoked by his fear, had keept him in their tight grip all night. Tormenting him during every single moment of sleep and still clinging, as if trying to emerge into the physical world, to his thoughts as he woke up with a jolt time and time again, drenched in cold sweat.

Now, he was heading for the location of todays training session, where he would meet up with the rest of his team.

"This is not good..." Lee thought as he made his way through the now awake and lively Konoha village, still trying his best to hide his pain and exhaustion. The chill from the night before was still there, however, much milder.

"I just have to try harder, that's all!" He said to himself, fiercly rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands in a futile attempt to make himself wake up.

"If I cannot do this without them noticing, I will do 500 push-ups as punishment!" Finally concidering himself ready, he stepped out from the corner of the building he had been standing infront of and imediatly discovered two things. One, he was the last one to arrive at the site, again, and two standing there calmly talking to Gai-sensei was...Kakashi-sensei!?

Surprised to see team sevens leader, the legendary copy ninja, standing in their midst on a normal training day, Lee akwardly walked up to where they both were standing to greet them a good morning.

"Ah, Lee! Good morning to you!" Gai proclaimed with a great smile at the sight of his dear pupil.

"Ohayo gozaimasu, Gai-sensei! Kakashi-sensei!" Lee answered at the top of his lungs, trying to seem up beat.

"Morning." Kakashi greeted, waving the small orange book that he always carried with him, with one hand.

"Just in time to! Kakashi was just about to tell us some news... but, Lee, are you feeling allright? You look a little pale..." Gai's questioning gaze had suddendly settled on Lee's face, he must have noticed something wasn't right! And he who had tried so hard to avoid that... 500 push-ups t was then... Lee sighed to himself.
"I'm fine, Gai-sensei. I am just... a little tired, that's all." He answered with a faint smile.

"No, I think it's something else. You haven't been yourself lately, don't think I haven't niticed. Are you sure you haven't caught a cold or a fever or something?" Although he was speaking calmly, with a comical frown on his face and arms folded over his chest in an effort to look serious, the undertone of worry was easily detectable in his voice.

"N-No! I'm fine, I told you!" He had noticed?! Well, guess that would be expected with Gai-sensei. Still... He couldn't tell him the truth.

"Are you sure? Maybe you should go to the hospital just in case...?"

"No! There is no need. Besides, what were you going to tell us Kakashi-sensei?"

"Huh? Oh, yes!" Kakashi said as he snapped himself out of the book he had, yet again, begun reading and closed it with a flick of his wrist.

"It seems we will be having visitors from the Sand arriving today, or right now as a matter of fact."Visitors...? From the Sand...?! Lee's eyes opened wide at hearing these news and his heart started racing. Could it be... him?

"Just some officials here to discuss some trivial matters with the Godaime," Kakashi continued to explain as he lazily ran his fingers through his wild silvergray hair, "Along with a few people you already know. Gaara of the Desert, Kankuro and Temari for example..."

Gaara! So he was here! Here... in Konoha... Lee's eyes opened even wider as he realized what this meant.

"Sorry, Gai-sensei! I don't think I'm feeling so well after all. I will head for the hospital now!"

"Huh? L-Lee! Wait! We'll come with you...!"

"No, it's okay Gai-sensei! I will be fine on my own. And besides, you all have got training to do." And without another word, Lee turned around and started running in the direction of the village, leaving the rest of the team staring after him in a slight state of surprise.

"What got into Lee?" Tenten asked with a confused expression on her face.

"Well, what ever it was, he seems to be feeling a lot better all of a sudden, doesn't he?" Kakashi stated with an innocent smile in his eyes.

Running, his breath caught in his throat, jumping between rooftops to find the quickest way there. Everything arounf him turned into an unrecognizable blurr of colors as Lee hurried to reach the central street. The street visitors had to pass through in order to get to the Hokages building, the street Gaara must be on. Stopping suddendly on the roof of a building looking out over the busy street, he saw them. A group of ten, maybe eleven, all wrapped in the pale brown traveling coats of the Sand, now dusty from their days of travel, were making their way towards the village center. For anyone else, it would have been nearly impossible to identify a person in the group from such a distance, but to Lee it was unmistakeably clear. Those movements, the red hair peeking out from underneath the hood of his traveling cloak, and the gourd of sand on his back nearly compleatly concealed by the cloak. It was without a doubt, Gaara of the Desert.

With his eyes fixed unblinkingly on the back of the person he knew to be Gaara, Lee made his way over the rooftops alongside them, trying his best to remain unnoticed. But then, suddendly, the hooded figure turned around, as if he knew he was being watched, and looked straight up at the spot where Lee had been standing mere moments earlier. But as the searching green eyes found nothing staring back at him, he soon turned around, his cloak billowing out behind him, and again joined the rest of the group.

Letting out the breath he had been holding as he waited for Gaara to end his search, Lee emerged from his hiding place behind an open window. Had he seen him? How could he even had known that someone was there? Lee's heart had almost stopped when he had seen that Gaara was turning around. He had panicked and hid in the nearest hidingplace as fast as he could.

As the procession continued to calmly make their way through the street, Lee came to the conclution that it would be best if he headed for their target right away instead of sneaking after them, risking exposure. Leaping over the rooftops, to an untrained eye he was nothing but a green blurr, vanishing as quickly as he appeared. Finally he reached the great building marked with the sign of 'fire', the Hokage building. Seeing as the group of cloaked travellers were almost at the entrance, he decided to find another way in. Luckily, a window at the third floor had been left open, probably Shizune that had wanted to let in some fresh air, which suited Lee just fine as he climbed into the deserted hallway. One floor down, that was the Godaimes office, and where the visitors were headed. Sneaking passed closed doors on either side and down a flight of stairs, trying to make as litte sound as possible, Lee finally found himself standing just around the corner of the hallway where Tsunande-samas office was located. Pressing his back against the hard wooden wall, as if trying to merge with it and become invisible, he clenched his teeth, trying desperatly to keep his calm and carefully leaned his head out just enough to be able to see the cloaked figures entering through the open door. Gaara was among them. Seeing him again made Lee's heart skip a beat, though if it was from happiness or fear, Lee wasn't sure. As the last of the cloaked figures disappeared into the room ahead and cloased the door behind, Lee had to remind himself to let go of the breath he had been holding for far too long and that was making his lungs burn from lack of fresh air. He closed his eyes and slowly let his body slide down against the wall he had been leaning against and sat himself down on the floor, letting his forhead lean against his knees as he tried to straighten out his confused thoughts. Why had he come here? What had he thought he would achive? Maybe he should just leave? There wasn't exactly much he could do here, sitting alone in a deserted corridor. He hadn't even heard a word about Gaara arriving in Konoha before today... Why? Shouldn't he at least have sent a note announcing his arrival? Maybe his fears were correct after all...

A clicking sound suddendly made Lee's head snap up, alert. It was the clicking sound of a door opening, followed by the lowered voice of someone apologising for leaving so suddendly. Then... footsteps, echoing of the walls, making their way towards the corner where Lee was hiding. Lee's heart was pounding fast as he quickly scrambled to his feet and again pressed his back against the wall behind him. He couldn't let himself be discovered here! What would he say? How would he explain? There wasn't even time for him to make his escape back up the flight of stairs from where he had come, if he did he'd definitly be seen. What to do?! And then... the footsteps suddendly came to a halt, leavning the surroundnings to be suffocated by the following silence. What was going on? Why had the person stopped? And, more importantly, why were they just standing there? Unmoving... Mustering courage, Lee, ouy of curiosity, leaned forward slightly attempting to get at least a small glimpse at who it might be. Shocked, he took a step back as green eyes met black and Lee came face to face with a stern looking Gaara...

End part 1.