Disclaimer: I dun own Ben or Kevin…though if I did…

No one had taught Benjamin Tennyson about emotions and feelings. No one had taught him about them being perfectly natural. And no one had taught him what homosexuality was either.

To Ben this feeling was weird and unnatural. He knew he was different from all the other boys. Whenever he was around his buddies during soccer they would look around and point out how 'hot' the girls were or how they wanted to 'kiss every inch of that'.

Sure, the girls were pretty and they were attractive, but they didn't do anything for Ben. Instead while the guys were admiring the ladies Ben would admire the guys. Looking over their bodies and blushing when one smiled and waved at him. Ben was different. And he knew it.

But he was unsure of these feelings. They made him feel like a weirdo and he didn't know who to discuss this with. Often he would lie in his bed at night and yell into his pillow. Nothing made sense!

Wasn't a teenage boy like him supposed to like girls, not other teenage boys? Wasn't he supposed to fantasize about naked girls? Not naked guys? So many thoughts like these often ran through his head, day and night. It frustrated him and often caused him to break down in tears.

Ever since he met that Raven haired boy when he was ten he felt like this. Kevin hurt him though…but when he had to leave Kevin…he felt heart broken. That was until he came back. He felt bright again and somewhat more lively. But it still hurt. It also didn't help that he liked Gwen. (Blech!)

Everything seemed to hurt him now. But when he wasn't feeling crumby he just thought back and would blame his teen angst. But he knew it was something more. He was just trying to kid himself…pfft. Teen angst. Whatever.

Ben was having those crumby emotions and felt depressed. He was lying in the dark of his room with his music blasted. He had his face shoved deep into a pillow and his mind focused on one thing.

His hands by his sides played with the sheets as he gave simple shaky sighs every so often. Goddamned teen angst was driving him crazy now. Gaargh

Ben sighed again then lifted himself so he was now sitting on his heels. He stared at his wall then out the window at the dark navy sky; littered with stars and a crescent moon. How dare tonight be gorgeous when he was feeling lousy!

Ben stood up then headed towards the opened window and leaned out. He breathed in steadily. That sweet night air had a calming effect on him. It made him forget half his worries and the cool wind massaged his tense muscles.

Ben closed his eyes feeling in content for the first time in a long while. He inhaled through his nose and let it out through his mouth. He could've fallen asleep like that if it weren't for something hitting his hand over and over.

Wearily he opened his eyes and looked down at the shadowy figure below. He cocked an eyes brow and squinted until the image came clear. He blushed then ducked back inside when he saw Kevin standing there.

"Oi! Ben you dork." He heard Kevin whisper in a harsh voice.

Ouch

Ben peeked back outside to see Kevin standing there looking up at him annoyed. "What do you want Kevin?" I asked just barely loud enough for him to hear.

"I want you to come down here so that I'm taller again!" he yelled in a semi-serious sorta joking voice.

"But maybe I like being taller." The younger boy teased.

Kevin seemed to frown at him, "I'm not kidding anymore Tennyson. I'm serious. Come down here so I can talk to you."

Serious? Since when was Kevin ever serious? Ben groaned, "I can't Kevin. I have to stay here."

"Why? You grounded or som'm?" he asked cocking an eyebrow.

Ben blushed. "No. But if I leave I will be." He muttered.

"Don't be such a chicken shit Tennyson. Get down here so I can talk to you!"

Ben growled at him menacingly then slipped back inside and left his room, carefully he tip-toed down the hall and out the door where he found Kevin waiting.

"Okay. Now what did you want to tell me? What can possibly so important that it'll cost me my freedom and get me grounded?"

Kevin glared at him before reaching out and ruffling Ben's soft brown hair, "I just wanted to know what's up?"

Ben's eye twitched. How he wished to destroy the older boy right here and now. And he would've attempted his murder if it weren't for his contemplating emotions.

"Ben?"

"What?" Ben asked through clenched teeth; hands balled into fists at his side.

"Why have you been acting so weird lately? I mean your always weird but…it seems like something more. And just because I'm an asshole doesn't mean I don't notice when my friends are troubled. I mean come on. I'm a good guy deep down." He said almost unable to stifle the laugh bubbling up in his throat.

Ben eyed him then grabbed the color of his shirt and tugged his down to eye level. "You look like Kevin." Ben let him go then looked around, "Okay, where're the cameras?" he asked while shoving his hands in his pocket and looking around suspiciously.

"Screw you Tennyson." Kevin replied back to him as he also looked around.

"You wish Levin."

Kevin glared at him before grabbing Ben's forearms and slamming him into the side of the house. Ben gasped abit from having the air knocked out of him but when he got that air back, he noticed Kevin staring at him with those dark brown eyes. Ben blushed at him then looked away.

"You have no idea, do you?" Kevin whispered suddenly. He had a look of seriousness on his face and…something else that Ben couldn't even put his finger on. Something that made a shiver run down his spine.

Ben pressed himself further into the wall, desperate to escape Kevin's hold on him. He could tell his face was red, he knew Kevin could tell his heart as beating faster.

Ben felt so vulnerable, so weak. If he were normal or even thinking straight- he would've been fighting Kevin or even struggling… but no! Instead he practically gave into the touch, enjoying the feeling of Kevin's steady breath on his face.

He closed his eyes and grinded his teeth. Why did he feeling this way? God, he felt stupid. He must've looked strange in this state, practically giving himself to Kevin. If only…

Kevin inched his face closer; closely examining Bens face. He smirked then let the younger boy go, but just to see Ben still pressed against the wall and his face still scrunched with worry.

"What's wrong with you Tennyson? It's now like I was gonna rape you." He laughed.

Ben opened his eyes, tears threatened to escape. He breathed out then turned away from Kevin and with out a word, headed back inside.

Kevin stood there with his hands on his waist and a frown on his face. "Was it something I said?"